jokes

Santa Ka Darwaza Zor Se Baja.
Wo Ghusse Se Darwaze Par Gaya Aur Bola:
"Kon Gadhe Ka Bachcha Hai?
Bahar Se Aawaz Aayee-
"Papa Main Hun"
 
Santa Ka Darwaza Zor Se Baja.
Wo Ghusse Se Darwaze Par Gaya Aur Bola:
"Kon Gadhe Ka Bachcha Hai?
Bahar Se Aawaz Aayee-
"Papa Main Hun"
 
Santa:Yaar Answer sheet par sabse pehle kya likhu?

Banta:Yehi k IS SHEET PAR LIKHE GYE ANS KALPNIK H! JINKA KISI B BOOK SE KOI SAMBANDH NAHI Hai
 
At the start of marriage life,
every girl treats her husband as a GOD.

Later on..


Some how alphabet get reversed.
Is'n it?
 
A young man asked an old rich man how he made his money.

The old guy fingered his worsted wool vest and said, "Well, son, it was 1932. The depth of the Great Depression. I was down to my last nickel.

"I invested that nickel in an apple. I spent the entire day polishing the apple and, at the end of the day, I sold the apple for ten cents.

"The next morning, I invested those ten cents in two apples. I spent the entire day polishing them and sold them at 5:00 pm for 20 cents. I continued this system for a month, by the end of which I'd accumulated a fortune of $1.37."

"And that's how you built an empire?" the boy asked.

"Heavens, no!" the man replied. "Then my wife's father died and left us two million dollars.
 
Santa:kaha ja rahe ho?
Banta:Police Station,Mere ghar chor aya he
Santa:Biwi ko akela chod dia
Banta:Nahi,usne chor ko baho me jakad rakha hai.
 
man:sir,meri bivi kho gayi.
Postman:ye post office he,police station nai.
man:kya karu?kaha jau? khusi k mare kuch samajh me nai aa raha.
 
Santa Road pe Potty kar raha tha..
Police ne usse pakad liya
Jab usse le jaane Laga 2 Santa bola:
'O KANOON KE RAKHWALO! SABOOT TO UTHA LO.
 
Employee- Boss Aap Shadi-Shuda Logo Ko Hi Naukri Kyu Dete Ho?
Boss-Kyuki Unhe Pehle Se Hi Galiya Khane Ki Aadat Hoti HE..
 
I sent u many msgs
but u didn't reply a single msg...
So I am deleting ur no..
Good bye..
.
.
Santa sent this msg to customer care!
 
”Darling” said Santa to his new bride. “Now that we are married ,do you think you can live on my small income?”. “Ofcourse dearest”, she replied. “But what will you live on?”
 
Santa checked his girlfriend’s mobile to know under what name she had saved his number. When he dialed his number form her phone, it showed “TIMEPASS NO. 8”
 
Once Santa brought his girlfriend home for dinner. This was her first time meeting the family so she was tremendously nervous. This along with the broccoli she ate gave her a little gas so she let out a small noiseless fart but it turned out to be loud enough for the family to hear. Right then Santa’s father shouted at the dog sitting next to her chair, “Ginger!”. She was relieved. Next time she let out a louder one and again Santa’s father shouted at the dog, “Ginger!” he said. Finally she let a really loud one out that sounded like a train whistle and the father said “Ginger!!!!! Move from there before she shits on you!!!”
 
Santa: Doctor, ye phulon ki mala kis ke liye?
Doctor: Ye mera pehla operation hai, success hua to mere liye, nahi to tumhare liye.
 
Santa: Raat film main ek chudail kabhi mere aage, khabhi mere peechhe ghoom rahi thi…
Jeeto: Koun si film thi ?
Santa: Apni shaadi ki movie thi !
 
Santa being romantic to his wife.
“One day God tested me , erased all my memory and asked do you remember anyone now?
I told Him your name and He replied, “I am sorry some viruses cannot be formatted””
 
Lady Doc: Tum roz subah clinic ke bahar khade ho kar auraton ko kyon ghoorte ho?
Santa: Ji aap hi ne bahar likha hai: Auraton ko dekhne ka samay 9am-11am
 
In an interview:

Interviewer: How does an electric motor run?
Santa: Dhhuuuurrrrrrrrrr. ….
Inteviewer shouts: Stop it.
Santa: Dhhuurrrr dhup dhup dhup…
 
Banta: Yaar teri wife ki maut ka bada afsos hua, vaise hua kya tha?
Santa: Goli lagi thi mathe main.
Banta: Waheguru ji ka shukar kar ke aankh bach gayi.
 
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