Sardar Jokes... no offence sikh bhaiyon .. :D

SARDAR’S BIRTHDAY..

Sardar went for an interview, The question was when is your birthday?

Sardar: 19th january.

Interviewer: which year?

Sardar: Nonsense..Every Year.
 
TICKET TICKET..
Sardar: should I buy tickets to my children.

Conductor: yes only if they are above 8.

Sardar: Thank god I have only 6 children
 
SARDAR IN AMERICA..

Three Sardarjis went for a tour to America.They searched for rooms everywhere and finally got one which is in the topmost floor of a 100 floor hotel.

After taking rest they started for a local visit.

While leaving the hotel, the manager informed them that they should reach the hotel before10.00pm or else lift will not be available and they have to take the steps for which they agreed and went out.

After all the entertainment in the city, they reached back late at 10.30.

Since lift was not available, they decided to take the stairways under the condition that each sardarji has to tell a story that lasts for 33 floors so that they can reach the 100th floor without much trouble.

After first sardarji finished his story in 33rd floor, the third sardarji said,

“I have a sad story to say, but i will tell at the end only”.

Then second sardarji finished his story and the third finished his story and finally they reached the 100th floor.

Then first sardarji asked what was the sad story.

The third one said,

“I forgot the room key which is on the manager’s table”.

They once again started back to the first floor and this time the second sardarji after crossing 33 floors from top said,

” I got a sad story, but I will also say that at the end”.

They finally reached the first floor and when asked about the sad story, the second sardarji said,

” The keys were in my pocket only”.

With anger and full tired, they once again start from the first floor.

After reaching the 33rd floor, the third sardarji said,

” I too have a sad story, but I will say at the end only”.

Then they reached the 100th floor and the second one asked the third sardarji about the sad story, he replied:

“This is not our hotel, It is on the other side of road, opposite to this…!!!”
 
Bhagwan and Banta!
Banta finds himself in dire trouble. His business has gone bust and he’s in serious financial trouble. He’s so desperate that he decides to ask Bhagwan for help.
He goes into the temple and begins to pray……….. “Oh Bhagwan, please help me, I’ve lost my business and if I don’t get some money, I’m going to lose my house as well, please let me win the lotto”. Lotto night comes and somebody else wins it.
Banta goes back to the temple…………….. “Bhagwan, please let me win the lotto, I’ve lost my business, my house and I’m going to lose my car as well”. Lotto night comes and Banta still has no luck!! Back to the temple……….. “My Bhagwan, why have you forsaken me? I’ve lost my business, my house, my car and my wife and children are starving.. I don’t often ask you for help and I have always been a good servant to you. Why won’t you just let me win the lotto this one time so I can get my life back in order???”.
Suddenly there is a blinding flash of light as the sky parts open and Banta is confronted by the voice of Lord “BANTA, BUY THE DAMN TICKET FIRST”.
—————————————-
Cricketers!
Two fast friends, Santa Singh and Banta Singh, were great cricket fanatics. They decided that whoever dies first will try to come back in the dreams of the other, and tell the other about the Cricket life in heaven.
Santa Singh dies first. One day as Banta was fast sleep, he heard Santa calling him.
He was very happy and was eager to know about cricket there.
“So, Santa! How is cricket in heaven?”
Santa replied, “Hey Banta, I have good news and bad news. The good news is that tomorrow we are going to have a day & night match here in heaven.”
“And the bad news is that you are the opening bowler for tomorrow’s match!”
 
Sardarji is selected to play for the Indian cricket team as an opening batsman. He opens the batting against West Indies. He is asked to face the very first over (with one Sunil Gavaskar as the non-striker!) from Marshall who is bowling at his fiercest…

First ball : Whizzes past Sardarji’s off-stump. Sardarji doesn’t move an inch. Ball goes to wicket-keeper. Second ball : Goes right over the Sardarji’s bat and just over the middle stump, somehow missing both the bat and the stumps. Sardarji is again unmoved.

Third ball : Is a bouncer. Almost decapitates the Sardarji, missing his head by a fraction of an inch. Ball goes to wicket-keeper. Sardarji doesn’t move a muscle.

Fourth ball : Outside the leg-stump. Sardarji again doesn’t move, and the ball shoots past him to the wicket-keeper. But this time, the umpire shouts “No Ball!”

Sardarji walks up to the umpire and tells him, “So you discovered it now!You see, I know from the very beginning that the guy has no ball in his hand!”
 
One day a dog was running behind a Santa… But Santa was laughing.
Banta asked, “Why you are so happy?
He said… “Ah Ah Ah….I have an Airtel mobile with me…But Still Hutch network is following me..”
 
Sardar SITTING ON THE TOP OF MOUNTAIN AND STUDYING..WHEN A PERSON ASKED WHAT HE WAS DOING..HE REPLIED ..Oye!!Higher studies Yaar…!!!
 
Sardars Hari Singh and Gani Singh are in a railway station.
Hari Singh asks the clerk: “Can I take this train to Ludhiana?”
“No,” answers the railway man.
“Can I?” asks Gani Singh.
 
ultimate power of 21st century.....
1st boy- can i kiss on ur hand..
1st girl -why is there anything wrong on my lips.........
 
Santa: Did u hear that a baby was fed on elephant`s milk & gained 20 pounds in a week.
Banta: That`s impossible. Whose baby?
Santa: An elephant`s.
 
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