Sardar Jokes... no offence sikh bhaiyon .. :D

One young man went for an IAS Interview.

"When did India get independence? " He was asked.

"The efforts began a few years earlier and final result was in 1947" He replied.

"Who was responsible for our independence? "

"There were so many. Whom to mention? If I name one, it will be a injustice to another. " He replied.

"Is corruption the number one enemy in our country?"

"Some research is going on the subject and I can answer with certainly only after seeing the report" He replied.

The interview board was very pleased with his original and thoughtful answers and asked him not to reveal the questions to others, since they were planning to ask the same questions.

When he went out naturally others were curious to know what was asked. He politely declined, but one persistent Santa would not leave him. "At least tell me the answers" he pleaded, and our friend obliged.

Then it was the turn of this Santa. When he went inside, since his resume was slightly illegible, the board member asked him." By the way, what is your date of birth?"

He replied, " The effort began a few years earlier and final result was in 1947."

Somewhat puzzled, they asked another clarification. "What is your fathers name?"

He replied, "There were so many. Whom to mention". If I name one, it will be injustice to another".

The interviewer was incensed.

" Hey! Are you mad or what?"

He replied. "Some research is going on the subject. I can answer with certainty only after seeing the report
 
Dear Mr Bill Gates,

This letter is from Banta Singh from Punjab. We have bought a
computer for our home and we found problems, which I want to bring to
your notice.

1. After connecting to internet we planned to open e-mail account and
whenever we fill the form in Hotmail in the password column, only ****** appears, but in the rest of the fields whatever we typed appears, but we face this problem only in password field.

We checked with hardware vendor Santa Singh and he said that there is no problem in keyboard. Because of this we open the e-mail account with password *****.

I request you to check this as we ourselves do not know what the
password is.

2. We are unable to enter anything after we click the 'shut down '
button.

3. There is a button 'start' but there is no "stop" button. We request you to check this.

4. We find there is 'Run' in the menu. One of my friend clicked 'run' has ran upto Amritsar! So, we request you to change that to "sit", so that we can click that by sitting.

5. One doubt is that any 're-scooter' available in system? As I find only 're-cycle', but I own a scooter at my home.

6. There is 'Find' button but it is not working properly. My wife lost
the door key and we tried a lot for tracing the key with this ' find',
but unable to trace. Is it a bug??

7. Every night I am not sleeping as i have to protect my 'mouse' from
CAT, So i suggest u to provide one DOG to protect from the cat.

8. Please confirm when u are going to give me money for winning
'HEARTS' (playing cards in games) and when are u coming to my home to
collect ur money.

9. My child learnt 'Microsoft word' now he wants to learn 'Microsoft
sentence', so when u will provide that?

10. Hey, I brought computer, cpu, mouse and keypad there is only one
icon with 'MY Computer', where is remaining ?

11. And in 'MY Pictures' there is not even single photo of mine, So when u will keep my photo in that.

Thanks
Banta Singh…
 
Once upon a time.... a sardar was driving his scooter and someone said hey look the beauty and the beast the sardar got off his scooter and said who called my wife the beast.
 
Lotto Winner :

A woman came home, screeching her car into the driveway, and ran into the house. She slammed the door and shouted at the top of her lungs, 'Honey, pack your bags. I won the lottery!'

The husband said, 'Oh my God! What should I pack, beach stuff or mountain stuff?'

'Doesn't matter,' she said. 'Just get out.'
 
Kidnapping by a sardar... TOO GOOD!

There was a Sardarji who was down on his luck.

In order to raise some money he decided to kidnap a kid and hold him for ransom. He went to the playground, grabbed a kid, took him behind a tree and told him, "I've kidnapped you."

Sardarji then wrote a note saying: "I've kidnapped your kid. Tomorrow morning, put Rs.2, 00,000 in a paper bag and put it beneath the mango tree on the north side of the city playground".

Signed: "A Sardarji"

Sardarji then pinned the note to the kid's shirt and sent him home to show it to his parents. The next morning the Sardarji checked, and sure enough a paper bag was kept beneath the mango tree.

The boy was sitting next to the bag. Sardarji opened up the bag and found the Rs.2, 00,000 in cash with a note saying: "How can a sardarji do this to a fellow Sardarji? Take the money, and please leave my son."

Signed: Another Sardarji
 
Prince Charles & Sardarji were having dinner.
Prince said, "Pass the wine you divine".
Sardar thinks "how poetic"
Sardar says, "pass the custard you bastard".
 
Sardar at bar in New York .
Man on his right says "Johny Walker single"
Man on his left says "Peter Scotch single"
Sardar says - "Baljith Singh Married"
 
Boss : am giving u job as a driver. STARTING salary Rs.2000/-, is it o.k
Sardar : U R great sir! Starting salary is o.k.......but? ?
how much is DRIVING salary...?
 
2 sardars are driving a Car, one puts on the indicator and asks the
other to check whether its working, he puts his head out and says
YES...NO...YES. ..NO...YES. ..NO...
 
Sardar shouting 2 his girl friend " u said v will do register marriage
and cheated me, I was waiting 4 u yesterday whole day in the post
office....
 
A Tamilian call up sardar and asks " tamil therima??"
Sardar got mad, angrily replied.... "Hindi tera baap!!!"
 
Interviewer: what s ur qualification?
Sardarji : Sir I am Ph.d.
Interviewer : what do u mean by Ph.d?
Sardarji : (smiling) PASSED HIGHSCHOOL with DIFFICULTY.. .
 
Amitab : In which state Cauvery flows?
Sardar : liquid state.....
Audience clapped.. Amitab stunned, looks be hind, ALL WERE SARDARS..... ..
 
Santa Singh was in the hospital, near death, so the family sent for his friend Banta. As Banta singh stood beside the bed, santa Singh's frail condition grew worse, and he motioned frantically for something to write on. Banta singh lovingly handed him a pen and piece of paper, and Santa used his last ounce of strength to scribble a note. Then he died. Banta singh thought it best not to look at the note just then, so he slipped it into his jacket pocket.
Several days later, at the funeral, Banta singh was visting Santa's family. He realized that he was wearing the same jacket that he'd worn the day Santa died.
"You know," he said, "Santa handed me a note just before he died. I haven't read it, but knowing Santa, I'm sure there's a word of inspiration there for us all. He unfolded the note and read a loud, "You're standing on my oxygen tube!"
 
Banta Singh: "Yaar Santa, last year the name-plate outside your house read Santa Singh B.A. This year it read Santa Singh M.A., When did you finish yours Masters Degree?
Santa Singh: "You don't understand. Last year my wife died, I put B.A. to indicate Bachelor Again. Then I took a second wife, So M.A. is Married Again.
 
Mix Santa - banta jokes

Titanic was sinking.

An englishman asked Santa, "How far is land"?
Santa: 2 KMs.

Englishman jumped into sea.
Englishman: Now, which direction?

Santa: Downwards!
 
Santa: I have swallowed a key.

Doctor: When?

Santa: 3 months back!

Doctor: What were you doing till now?

Santa: I was using duplicate key, now I have lost it too.
 
Santa Singh was walking on the road and paused to read the graffiti on the wall. It read "Padne waala gadha."(one who reads it is an ass.)

Santa Singh thought for an hour, erased it and wrote back, "Likhne waala gadha." (One who wrote it is an ass).
 
Letter from mother to son Santa Singh.

Pyare Puttar, Vahe Guru. I am writing this letter slow, because I know you can't read fast. We do not live where we did when you left home. Your dad read in the paper that most accidents happen 20 miles from your home, so we moved. I wont be able to send you the address as the last Sardar who stayed here took the numbers with them for their next house, so they would not have to change their address.

This place is really nice. It even has a washing machine. I am not sure it works too well. Last week I put 3 shirts, pulled the chain and haven't seen them since then. The weather here isn't too bad. It rained only twice last week. The first time it rained 3 days, and the second time for 4 days. The coat you wanted me to send you, your aunt said it would be a little too heavy to send in the mail with all the buttons, so we cut them off and put them in the pocket.

We got another bill from the funeral home. It said if we don't make the last payment on grandma's funeral, he will come up again. Your father has another job. He has 500 men under him. He is cutting grass at the cemetery . Your sister had a baby this morning. I haven't found out whether it's a girl or a boy, so I don't know whether you are an Aunt or Uncle. Your uncle Jatinder fell in a whisky vat. Some men tried pulling him out, but he fought them off and drowned. We cremated him and he burned for three days. There is not much more news this time. Nothing much has happened.

LoveMom.

P.S. I was going to send you some money but the envelope was already sealed.
 
Santa and Banta had just bought two horses. Now the problem was that they could not differenciate between the two horses.

Santa cuts the left ear of his horse, so that it is easy to know that it is his horse. While doing so, an enemy of Santa looks at him. This enemy also cuts the left ear of banta's horse. By doing so santa and banta come in confusion to differenciate.

In his effort to differenciate the horses Santa keeps on cutting his horse's right ear, then his tail , then makes him blind and so on. The enemy also kept on doing so with banta's horse.

At last Santa's horse had no legs left and banta's horse was with one leg only. The enemy also went and cut banta's horse one leg.

So, in the morning it was the same sitaution! How to diffrenciate thier horses.

After thinking and putting lots of effort to thier mind - Santa said - O.K You keep the black one and i will keep the white .
 
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