Sardar Jokes... no offence sikh bhaiyon .. :D

Santa Singh : 'Look Banta, what type of glasses they have made. The top is closed. How can you fill lassi in it ?

Banta Singh : 'Yes, that's funny. And even if you make a hole at the top, how will the lassi stay in the glass when the bottom is open?'
 
Santa : People consider me as a "GOD"

Banta : How do you know??

Santa : When I went to the Park today, everybody said, Oh GOD ! U have came again..
 
One day Sardar happened to see a marathon race.
“What the guys are doing” asked the sardar.
” We are running a marathon. The winner will get prize” replied one
runner.
“Only the winner will get prize! Then why others are participating!!”
Exclaimed the Sardar
 
Sardar ki maut bijli girnay say hoi

per us ki lash muskuratay hoay mili

baghwan ne pocha aisa kiun?

to sardar bola “mai nu laga koi photo khinch raiya ae”
 
Bhagwan and Banta!
Banta finds himself in dire trouble. His business has gone bust and he’s in serious financial trouble. He’s so desperate that he decides to ask Bhagwan for help.
He goes into the temple and begins to pray……….. “Oh Bhagwan, please help me, I’ve lost my business and if I don’t get some money, I’m going to lose my house as well, please let me win the lotto”. Lotto night comes and somebody else wins it.
Banta goes back to the temple…………….. “Bhagwan, please let me win the lotto, I’ve lost my business, my house and I’m going to lose my car as well”. Lotto night comes and Banta still has no luck!! Back to the temple……….. “My Bhagwan, why have you forsaken me? I’ve lost my business, my house, my car and my wife and children are starving.. I don’t often ask you for help and I have always been a good servant to you. Why won’t you just let me win the lotto this one time so I can get my life back in order???”.
Suddenly there is a blinding flash of light as the sky parts open and Banta is confronted by the voice of Lord “BANTA, BUY THE DAMN TICKET FIRST”.
 
Cricketers!
Two fast friends, Santa Singh and Banta Singh, were great cricket fanatics. They decided that whoever dies first will try to come back in the dreams of the other, and tell the other about the Cricket life in heaven.
Santa Singh dies first. One day as Banta was fast sleep, he heard Santa calling him.
He was very happy and was eager to know about cricket there.
“So, Santa! How is cricket in heaven?”
Santa replied, “Hey Banta, I have good news and bad news. The good news is that tomorrow we are going to have a day & night match here in heaven.”
“And the bad news is that you are the opening bowler for tomorrow’s match!
 
2 sardar were fixing a bomb in a car.
Sardar 1 : What would you do if the bomb explodes while fixing.
sardar 2 : Dont worry, I have a one more.
 
Sardar : What is the name of your car ?
Lady : I forgot the name, but is starts with “T”.
Sardar : Oye Kamaal ki gaadi hai, Tea se start hoti hai. Hamaara gaadi
petrol se start hoti hai.
 
Sardar was busy removing a wheel from his auto. A man asks sardar why
are you removing a wheel from your auto.
sardar : Cant you read the board. Parking is only for 2 wheeler.
 
Sardar got into a bus on 1st April when conductor asked for ticket. He
gave
Rs.10/- and took the ticket and said April fool. I have pass.
 
How will you destroy a submarine full of sardars ?
Simple. Just knock the door and they will open it….
 
Santa apni girl friend ko I Luv U kehta hai aur gir jata hai.
Gal: Yeh kya kar rahe ho?
Santa: I’m falling in love.
 
Museum Administrator: That’s a 500-year-old statue u’ve broken.
Banta: Thank God! I thought it was a new one.
 
At the scene of an accident a man was crying: O God! I have lost my hand, oh!
Santa: Control yourself. Don’t cry. See that man. He has lost his head. Is he crying?
 
Banta: U cheated me.
Shopkeeper: No, I sold a good radio to u.
Banta: Radio label shows Made in Japan but radio says This is all
India Radio!
 
Tourist: Whose skeleton is that?
Santa: Tipu’s skeleton.
Tourist: Whose that smaller skeleton next to it?
Santa: That was Tipu’s skeleton when he was child
 
Sardar: Last night I saw an English movie .It had no scene nor no sound.
Friend Sardar: wow tell me the name of the movie. I too want to see it.
Sardar: Please Insert Disc.
 
DIFFERENT SARDAR’S..

1.Student Sardar: Me fail English!!!!! Thats Unpossible.

2.Police :we’re going to ask you a few simple yes or no questions. Do you understand?
Thief Sardar : Yes. (lie dectector blows up)

3.Father Sardar : Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try

4.Patient Sardar: In my dreams monkey play football every night.
Doctor: Take this medicine from tonight.
Patient Sardar: Can I start from tomorrow because tonight is Final.
 
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