It must be admitted that when a man can follow advice of this nature it will generally be the better for him in the end; but we are dealing with human instincts and human passions that often go beyond control. The fact that we are for-bidden marriage because of economic or other reasons does not necessarily take us away from all associations with the opposite sex. And with a virile man such companionship is bound at times to arouse passions and desires that seek satisfaction. What is a man to do under such circumstances? The problem is indeed hard' to solve. The question involved in a situation of this kind is largely as to whether or not the man will be harmed through attempting to lead a continent life, or whether it would pay to incur the risks of disease that attend deviations from the paths of moral rectitude. In other words, are we to follow the usual policy and lay down a definite rule of strict continence to the men who cry for help under such circumstances?
The problem in every instance is varied and individual in nature. As previously stated some men can live a continent life for a great number of years without serious injury to their capacities, mental, moral, or physical. Other men, however, are so constituted that the question of a sexual mate assumes a dominating character that is actually terrifying. Such men will find a continent life practically impossible and, with their particular natures, if they possessed the determination to adhere to a regime of this character it would, perhaps, be productive of injury —though perhaps not more than a certain slight decline in vitality. But under such circumstances we are dealing with what might be termed impossibilities. Such men will not remain continent when temptation comes their way. What are we to advise in such cases?
Where the demand for the associations of marriage are so dominating in character, the situation, regardless of all other conditions, demands marriage. And it is unquestionably better that the marriage should conform to the legal and conventional standards. No matter how you may try to avoid other associations and responsibilities that your instincts crave, you cannot avoid the very definite commands of your cravings for a sexual mate.
The man who finds himself possessed of these imperative sexual demands, if allowed freely to associate with members of the opposite sex, will surely find a mate. There is no question about that. The only way a man of this kind can remain continent is to live the life of a hermit, or not meet enough of the opposite sex, and even under such circumstances there is a strong possibility or even probability of his acquiring secret sexual vices that are fearfully destructive in nature. Therefore, although you may be impressed with the idea that you are economically or otherwise so situated that marriage is impossible, yet when you find yourself mated, you should so arrange your affairs that the legal responsibilities associated therewith can be satisfactorily assumed. There is really no other solution of this problem that is tolerable or possible.