Truly hilarious... Must read this... You wont stop laughing
One day I met a sweet gentleman and fell in love. When it became
apparent that we would marry, I made the supreme sacrifice and gave up
eating beans.
Some months later, on my birthday, my car broke down on the way home
from work. Since I lived in the countryside I called my husband and told
him that I would be late because I had to walk home. On my way, I passed by
a small diner and the odour of baked beans was more than I could stand.
With miles to walk, I figured that I would walk off any ill effects by the
time I reached home, so I stopped at the dinner and before I knew
it, I had consumed three large orders of baked beans.
All the way home, I made sure that I released all the gas. Upon my
arrival, my husband seemed excited to see me and exclaimed delightedly:
"Darling I have a surprise for dinner tonight." He then blindfolded me and
led me to my chair at the dinner table. I took a seat and just as he was
about to remove my blindfold, the telephone rang. He made me promise not to
touch the blindfold until he returned and went to answer the call.
The baked beans I had consumed were still affecting me and the
pressure was becoming most unbearable, so while my husband was out of the
room I seized the opportunity, shifted my weight to one leg and let one go.
It was not only loud, but it smelled like a fertilizer truck running over a
skunk in front of a pulpwood mill.
I took my napkin from my lap and fanned the air around me vigorously.
Then, shifting to the other cheek, I ripped off three more. The stink
was worse than oked=20cabbage. Keeping my ears carefully tuned to the
conversation in the other room, I went on like this for another few
minutes.
The pleasure was indescribable. When eventually the telephone
farewells signalled the end of my freedom, I quickly fanned the air a few
more times with my napkin, placed it on my lap and folded my hands back on
it feeling very relieved and pleased with myself. My face must have been
the picture of innocence when my husband returned, apologizing for taking
so long.
He asked me if I had peeked through the blindfold, and I assured him I
had not. At this point, he removed the blindfold, and twelve dinner guests
seated around the table chorused: "Happy Birthday!" I nearly died!
ound: