Top 10 excuses for sleeping on work
"They told me at the blood bank this might happen."
"I wasn't sleeping, I was trying to pick up contact lens without hands."
"I wasn't sleeping! I was meditating on the mission statement and envisioning a new paradigm!"
"Amen"
"This is just a 15 minute power-nap like they raved about in the last time management course you sent me to."
"Whew! Guess I left the top off the liquid paper"
"I was doing a highly specific Yoga exercise to relieve work related stress."
"This is one of the seven habits of highly effective people!"
"Boy, that cold medicine I took last night just won't wear off!"
"Darn! Why did you interrupt me? I had almost figured out a solution to our biggest problem."
"They told me at the blood bank this might happen."
"I wasn't sleeping, I was trying to pick up contact lens without hands."
"I wasn't sleeping! I was meditating on the mission statement and envisioning a new paradigm!"
"Amen"
"This is just a 15 minute power-nap like they raved about in the last time management course you sent me to."
"Whew! Guess I left the top off the liquid paper"
"I was doing a highly specific Yoga exercise to relieve work related stress."
"This is one of the seven habits of highly effective people!"
"Boy, that cold medicine I took last night just won't wear off!"
"Darn! Why did you interrupt me? I had almost figured out a solution to our biggest problem."
manmohan_9
New member
Great Jokes guys.... keep posting....amazing....hillarious.....meticulous jokes.
Good One!!!
Salary & Govt. Concessions for a Member of Parliament (MP)
Monthly Salary : 12,000
Expense for Constitution per month :10,000
Office expenditure per month :14,000
Traveling concession (Rs. 8 per km) : 48,000( eg.For a visit from kerala to Delhi & return: 6000 km)
Daily DA TA during parliament meets :500/day
Charge for 1 class (A/C) in train: Free (For any number of times)
(All over India )
Charge for Business Class in flights : Free for 40 trips / year (With wife or P.A.)
Rent for MP hostel at Delhi : Free
Electricity costs at home : Free up to 50,000 units
Local phone call charge : Free up to 1 ,70,000 calls.
TOTAL expense for a MP [having no qualification] per year : 32,00,000 [i.e . 2.66 lakh/month]
TOTAL expense for 5 years : 1,60,00,000
For 534 MPs, the expense for 5 years :
8,54,40,00,000 (nearly 855 crores)
AND THE PRIME MINISTER IS ASKING THE HIGHLY QUALIFIED, OUT PERFORMING CEOs TO CUT DOWN THEIR SALARIES…..
This is how all our tax money is been swallowed and price hike on our regular commodities.......
And this is the present condition of our country:
855 crores could make their life livable !!
Think of the great democracy we have..............
rohan_rohan
New member
ha ha very funny indeed.....lol....funny.
100% Planning is important?
One Night 4 college students were playing till late night and could
not study for the test which was scheduled for the next day.
In the morning they thought of a plan. They made themselves look as
dirty with grease and dirt. They then went up to the Dean and said that they
had gone out to a wedding last night and on their return the tire of their
car burst and they had to push the car all the way back and that they were in no condition to appear for the test.
So the Dean said they could have the re-test after 3 days. They thanked him and said they would be ready by that time.
On the third day they appeared before the Dean. The Dean said that as
this was a Special Condition Test, all four were required to sit in separate
classrooms for the test. They all agreed as they had prepared well in the
last 3 days.
The Test contains only 2 questions with a total of 100 Marks.
See Below Exact Question Paper:
Q.1. Your Name............................. (2 MARKS)
Q.2. Which tire burst? (98 MARKS)
a) Front Left
b) Front Right
c) Back Left
d) Back Right
Moral of the story: Always Plan 100% in Advance and then implement or else.........
One Night 4 college students were playing till late night and could
not study for the test which was scheduled for the next day.
In the morning they thought of a plan. They made themselves look as
dirty with grease and dirt. They then went up to the Dean and said that they
had gone out to a wedding last night and on their return the tire of their
car burst and they had to push the car all the way back and that they were in no condition to appear for the test.
So the Dean said they could have the re-test after 3 days. They thanked him and said they would be ready by that time.
On the third day they appeared before the Dean. The Dean said that as
this was a Special Condition Test, all four were required to sit in separate
classrooms for the test. They all agreed as they had prepared well in the
last 3 days.
The Test contains only 2 questions with a total of 100 Marks.
See Below Exact Question Paper:
Q.1. Your Name............................. (2 MARKS)
Q.2. Which tire burst? (98 MARKS)
a) Front Left
b) Front Right
c) Back Left
d) Back Right
Moral of the story: Always Plan 100% in Advance and then implement or else.........
ashish_969
Ashish Chaurasia
a nice 1 pls do keep on feedin such stuff so as it helps us relax from this hectic schedule of iurs
pratikbharti
Pratik Bharti
The settlement claim we were processing at our banks lacked some details. We wrote to the claimant to clarify if the deceased had died intestate.
The reply came after some days. “He did not die in the estate, he died in hospital.”
— A. V. Menon, RD
The reply came after some days. “He did not die in the estate, he died in hospital.”
— A. V. Menon, RD
