rathore_a_k
New member
THE BOAT RACE
The Americans and Japanese decided to engage in a boat race. Both teams practiced hard and long to reach their peak performance levels. On the big day they felt ready. The Japanese won by a mile.
The American team was discouraged by the loss. Morale sagged. Corporate management decided that the reason for the crushing defeat had to be found, so a consulting firm was hired to investigate the problem and recommend corrective action.
The consultant's finding: The Japanese team had eight people rowing and one person steering. the American team had one person rowing and eight people steering.
After a year of study and millions spent analyzing the problem, the consulting firm concluded that too many people were steering and not enough were rowing on the American team. So as race day neared again the following year, the American team's management structure was completely reorganized. The new structure: four steering managers, three area steering managers, and a new performance review system for the person rowing the boat to provide work incentive. The next year, the Japanese won by TWO miles!
Humiliated, the American corporation laid off the rower for poor performance and gave the managers a bonus for
discovering the problem.
The Americans and Japanese decided to engage in a boat race. Both teams practiced hard and long to reach their peak performance levels. On the big day they felt ready. The Japanese won by a mile.
The American team was discouraged by the loss. Morale sagged. Corporate management decided that the reason for the crushing defeat had to be found, so a consulting firm was hired to investigate the problem and recommend corrective action.
The consultant's finding: The Japanese team had eight people rowing and one person steering. the American team had one person rowing and eight people steering.
After a year of study and millions spent analyzing the problem, the consulting firm concluded that too many people were steering and not enough were rowing on the American team. So as race day neared again the following year, the American team's management structure was completely reorganized. The new structure: four steering managers, three area steering managers, and a new performance review system for the person rowing the boat to provide work incentive. The next year, the Japanese won by TWO miles!
Humiliated, the American corporation laid off the rower for poor performance and gave the managers a bonus for
discovering the problem.
ashishsunny
New member
Giving 100%
We have all been to those meetings where someone wants you to
produce over 100 percent. How about achieving 103 percent? Here's
a little math that might prove helpful in the future. What makes life
100 percent?
If A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z can be
represented
as:
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24
25 26
Then,
H A R D W O R K
8 1 18 4 23 15 18 11 = 98% only
K N O W L E D G E
11 14 15 23 12 5 4 7 5 = 96% only
But,
A T T I T U D E
1 20 20 9 20 21 4 5 = 100 %
However,
B U L L S H I T
2 21 12 12 19 8 9 20 = 103%
Therefore, it stands to reason that hard work and knowledge will get
you
close; BUT attitude and bullshit will put you over the top.
We have all been to those meetings where someone wants you to
produce over 100 percent. How about achieving 103 percent? Here's
a little math that might prove helpful in the future. What makes life
100 percent?
If A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z can be
represented
as:
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24
25 26
Then,
H A R D W O R K
8 1 18 4 23 15 18 11 = 98% only
K N O W L E D G E
11 14 15 23 12 5 4 7 5 = 96% only
But,
A T T I T U D E
1 20 20 9 20 21 4 5 = 100 %
However,
B U L L S H I T
2 21 12 12 19 8 9 20 = 103%
Therefore, it stands to reason that hard work and knowledge will get
you
close; BUT attitude and bullshit will put you over the top.
anirbanrocks
New member
i like it...the terminology it mention...to much extent
singthaimal
Sing Mal
I hated Halloween, man. We never could afford a costume, never. One year we were so broke, my mother made us be expressions for Halloween. I'm like, 'Mom what am I going to be?' She'd be like, 'Come here.' She'd fix my face; I'd say, 'What am I?' 'Confused.'
ankit1234567
Ankit Verma
g8 one re it s nice to see that w8ing for more to cme
grudge3001
Savio Dias
Personnel manager: "What made you leave your last job?"
Applicant: "Sickness."
Personnel manager: "And what was the problem?"
Applicant: "My boss was sick of me!"
Jokes,Thisismyindia, This is My India Jokes,Thisismyindia, This is My India Jokes,Thisismyindia, This is My India
Personal Manager to New job applicant: "Why did your manager fire you?"
"Well a manager is the man who stands arround and watches others work, right? " the young appicant replied.
"Yes, but why did he fire you?"
Applicant: "Sickness."
Personnel manager: "And what was the problem?"
Applicant: "My boss was sick of me!"
Jokes,Thisismyindia, This is My India Jokes,Thisismyindia, This is My India Jokes,Thisismyindia, This is My India
Personal Manager to New job applicant: "Why did your manager fire you?"
"Well a manager is the man who stands arround and watches others work, right? " the young appicant replied.
"Yes, but why did he fire you?"
ankitvivek
New member
Another corporate joke
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Plato: For the greater good.
Karl Marx: It was a historical inevitability.
Machiavelli: So that its subjects will view it with admiration,
as a chicken which has the daring and courage to
boldly cross the road, but also with fear, for whom
among them has the strength to contend with such a
paragon of avian virtue? In such a manner is the
princely chicken's dominion maintained.
Albert Einstein: Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road crossed
the chicken depends upon your frame of reference.
Aristotle: To actualize its potential.
Buddha: If you ask this question, you deny your own chicken-
nature.
Ronald Reagan: I forget.
FREUD: The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.
Saddam Hussein: This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.
CLINTON : I did not, and I repeat, I did not have sexual relations with the chicken.
Bill Gates: I have just released the new Chicken Office 2000, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook.
ACCENTURE: Deregulation of the chicken's side of the road was threatening its dominant market position. The chicken was faced with significant challenges to create and develop the competencies required for the newly competitive market. Andersen Consulting, in a partnering relationship with the client, helped the chicken by rethinking its physical distribution strategy and implementation processes. Using the Poultry Integration Model (PIM), Andersen helped the chicken use its skills, methodologies, knowledge, capital and experiences to align the chicken's people, processes and technology in support of its overall strategy within a Program Management framework. Andersen Consulting convened a diverse cross-spectrum of road analysts and best chickens along with Andersen consultants with deep skills in the transportation industry to engage in a two-day itinerary of meetings in order to leverage their personal knowledge capital, both tacit and explicit, and to enable them to synergize with each other in order to achieve the implicit goals of delivering and successfully architecting and implementing an enterprise-wide value framework across the continuum of poultry cross-median processes. The meeting was held in a park-like setting, enabling and creating an impactful environment which was strategically based, industry-focused, and built upon a consistent, clear, and unified market message and aligned with the chicken's mission, vision, and core values. This was conducive towards the creation of a total business integration solution. Andersen Consulting helped the chicken change to become more successful.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Plato: For the greater good.
Karl Marx: It was a historical inevitability.
Machiavelli: So that its subjects will view it with admiration,
as a chicken which has the daring and courage to
boldly cross the road, but also with fear, for whom
among them has the strength to contend with such a
paragon of avian virtue? In such a manner is the
princely chicken's dominion maintained.
Albert Einstein: Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road crossed
the chicken depends upon your frame of reference.
Aristotle: To actualize its potential.
Buddha: If you ask this question, you deny your own chicken-
nature.
Ronald Reagan: I forget.
FREUD: The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.
Saddam Hussein: This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.
CLINTON : I did not, and I repeat, I did not have sexual relations with the chicken.
Bill Gates: I have just released the new Chicken Office 2000, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook.
ACCENTURE: Deregulation of the chicken's side of the road was threatening its dominant market position. The chicken was faced with significant challenges to create and develop the competencies required for the newly competitive market. Andersen Consulting, in a partnering relationship with the client, helped the chicken by rethinking its physical distribution strategy and implementation processes. Using the Poultry Integration Model (PIM), Andersen helped the chicken use its skills, methodologies, knowledge, capital and experiences to align the chicken's people, processes and technology in support of its overall strategy within a Program Management framework. Andersen Consulting convened a diverse cross-spectrum of road analysts and best chickens along with Andersen consultants with deep skills in the transportation industry to engage in a two-day itinerary of meetings in order to leverage their personal knowledge capital, both tacit and explicit, and to enable them to synergize with each other in order to achieve the implicit goals of delivering and successfully architecting and implementing an enterprise-wide value framework across the continuum of poultry cross-median processes. The meeting was held in a park-like setting, enabling and creating an impactful environment which was strategically based, industry-focused, and built upon a consistent, clear, and unified market message and aligned with the chicken's mission, vision, and core values. This was conducive towards the creation of a total business integration solution. Andersen Consulting helped the chicken change to become more successful.
marketing_sur
New member
once a man was walking across the road untill he saw a dog following him
he amused and said "oye!!! maine toh airtel ka sim dala hai toh ye hutch ka range kyu pakad raha hai"
claps
he amused and said "oye!!! maine toh airtel ka sim dala hai toh ye hutch ka range kyu pakad raha hai"
claps
calebmsamuel
New member
hello everyone...
I'm a new member...
can u help regarding how 2 use this site???
I'm a new member...
can u help regarding how 2 use this site???
tarun.mnit
Tarun Agarwal
MGMT. HUMOUR : Read it somewhere
MBA Woh Hai Jo Aksar Phasta Hai
Interviews Ke Sawaal Mae
Badi Companiyon Ki Chaal Mae
Boss Aur Client Ke Bawaal Mae
MBA Woh Hai Jo Pak Gaya Hai
Meetings Ki Jhelai Mae
Submissions Ki Gehrai Mae
Teamwork Ki Chatai Mae
MBA Woh Hai Jo Laga Rahta Hai
Schedule Ko Failane Mae
Targets Ko Khiskaane Mae
Roz Naye-Naye Bahane Mae
MBA Woh Hai Jo
Lunch Time Mae Breakfast Karta Hai
Dinner Time Mae Lunch Karta Hai
Commutation Ke Waqt Soya Karta Hai
MBA Woh Hai Jo Pagal Hai
Chai Aur Samose Ke Pyar Mae
Cigeratte Ke Khumar Mae
Birdwatching Ke Vichar Mae
MBA Woh Hai Jo Khoya Hai
Reminders Ke Jawaab Mae
Na Milne Wale Hisaab Mae
Behtar Bhavishya Ke Khwaab Mae
MBA Woh Hai Jise Intezaar Hai
Weekend Night Manane Ka
Boss Ke Chhutti Jaane Ka
Increment Ki Khabar Aane Ka
MBA Woh Hai Jo Sochta Hai
Kaash Padhai Pe Dhyaan Diya Hota
Kaash Teacher Se Panga Na Liya Hota
Kaash Ishq Na Kiya Hota
Aur Sabse Behtar To Ye Hota
Kambakht MBA Hi Na Kiya Hota........ .....
"BUT SHAYAD ISKE BHI APNE MAZE Hai"
MBA Woh Hai Jo Aksar Phasta Hai
Interviews Ke Sawaal Mae
Badi Companiyon Ki Chaal Mae
Boss Aur Client Ke Bawaal Mae
MBA Woh Hai Jo Pak Gaya Hai
Meetings Ki Jhelai Mae
Submissions Ki Gehrai Mae
Teamwork Ki Chatai Mae
MBA Woh Hai Jo Laga Rahta Hai
Schedule Ko Failane Mae
Targets Ko Khiskaane Mae
Roz Naye-Naye Bahane Mae
MBA Woh Hai Jo
Lunch Time Mae Breakfast Karta Hai
Dinner Time Mae Lunch Karta Hai
Commutation Ke Waqt Soya Karta Hai
MBA Woh Hai Jo Pagal Hai
Chai Aur Samose Ke Pyar Mae
Cigeratte Ke Khumar Mae
Birdwatching Ke Vichar Mae
MBA Woh Hai Jo Khoya Hai
Reminders Ke Jawaab Mae
Na Milne Wale Hisaab Mae
Behtar Bhavishya Ke Khwaab Mae
MBA Woh Hai Jise Intezaar Hai
Weekend Night Manane Ka
Boss Ke Chhutti Jaane Ka
Increment Ki Khabar Aane Ka
MBA Woh Hai Jo Sochta Hai
Kaash Padhai Pe Dhyaan Diya Hota
Kaash Teacher Se Panga Na Liya Hota
Kaash Ishq Na Kiya Hota
Aur Sabse Behtar To Ye Hota
Kambakht MBA Hi Na Kiya Hota........ .....
"BUT SHAYAD ISKE BHI APNE MAZE Hai"
Question: Why did the chicken cross the road?
Buddha:
Asking this question denies your own chicken nature.
Colonel Sanders:
Damn, I missed one!
Anderson Consulting:
Deregulation of the chicken's side of the road was threatening its dominant market position. The chicken was faced with significant challenges to create and develop the competencies required for the newly competitive market. Andersen Consulting, in a partnering relationship with the client, helped the chicken by rethinking its physical distribution strategy and implementation processes. Using the Poultry Integration Model (PIM), Andersen helped the chicken use its skills, methodologies, knowledge, capital and experiences to align the chicken's people, processes and technology in support of its overall strategy within a Program Management framework. Andersen Consulting convened a diverse cross-spectrum of road analysts and best chickens along with Anderson consultants with deep skills in the transportation industry to engage in a two-day itinerary of meetings in order to leverage their personal knowledge capital, both tacit and explicit, and to enable them to synergize with each other in order to achieve the implicit goals of delivering and successfully architecting and implementing an enterprise-wide value framework across the continuum of poultry cross-median processes. The meeting was held in a park-like setting, enabling and creating an impactful environment which was strategically based, industry-focused, and built upon a consistent, clear, and unified market message and aligned with the chicken's mission, vision, and core values. This was conducive towards the creation of a total business integration solution. Andersen Consulting helped the chicken change to become more successful.
Buddha:
Asking this question denies your own chicken nature.
Colonel Sanders:
Damn, I missed one!
Anderson Consulting:
Deregulation of the chicken's side of the road was threatening its dominant market position. The chicken was faced with significant challenges to create and develop the competencies required for the newly competitive market. Andersen Consulting, in a partnering relationship with the client, helped the chicken by rethinking its physical distribution strategy and implementation processes. Using the Poultry Integration Model (PIM), Andersen helped the chicken use its skills, methodologies, knowledge, capital and experiences to align the chicken's people, processes and technology in support of its overall strategy within a Program Management framework. Andersen Consulting convened a diverse cross-spectrum of road analysts and best chickens along with Anderson consultants with deep skills in the transportation industry to engage in a two-day itinerary of meetings in order to leverage their personal knowledge capital, both tacit and explicit, and to enable them to synergize with each other in order to achieve the implicit goals of delivering and successfully architecting and implementing an enterprise-wide value framework across the continuum of poultry cross-median processes. The meeting was held in a park-like setting, enabling and creating an impactful environment which was strategically based, industry-focused, and built upon a consistent, clear, and unified market message and aligned with the chicken's mission, vision, and core values. This was conducive towards the creation of a total business integration solution. Andersen Consulting helped the chicken change to become more successful.