just some mails

CAR TROUBLE A blonde pushes her BMW into a gas station. She tells the
> mechanic it died. After he works on it for a few minutes, it is idling
> smoothly. She says, "What's the story?" He replies, "Just crap in the
> carburetor" She asks, "How often do I have to do that?"

KNITTING A highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car on the
> freeway. Glancing at the car, he was astounded to see that the blonde
> behind the wheel was knitting! Realizing that she was oblivious to his
> flashing lights and siren, the trooper cranked down his window, turned
> on his bullhorn and yelled , "PULL OVER!" "NO!" the blonde yelled back,
> "IT'S A SCARF!"

FINALLY, THE BLONDE JOKE TO END ALL BLONDE JOKES! A girl was visiting
> her blonde friend, who had acquired two new dogs, and asked her what
> their names were. The blonde responded by saying that one was named
> Rolex and one was named Timex. Her friend said, "Whoever heard of
> someone naming dogs like that?" "HelOOOooo," answered the blonde,
> "they're watch dogs!!"
 
"Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand."

"Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night."

"There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 380SL."

"Ah, yes, divorce, from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet."

"Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place."

"According to a new survey, women say they feel more comfortable undressing in front of men than they do undressing in front of other women. They say that women are too judgmental, where, of course, men are just grateful."

"There's very little advice in men's magazines, because men think, 'I know what I'm doing. Just show me somebody naked'."

"See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time."

"It isn't premarital sex if you have no intention of getting married." ( i like this one the Best)
 
A midget went into a whorehouse. None of the girls really wanted to serve him, so finally they drew lots and Nancy was unlucky and went up to the room with him.

A minute later, there was a loud scream. The madam and all of the girls charged up the staircase and into the room. Nancy lay on the floor in a dead faint. Standing next to the bed was the midget nude, and with a three foot cock hanging down and almost touching the floor.

The girls were dumbfounded by the sight.

Finally, one of them regained her composure to say, "Sir, would you mind if we felt it? We've never seen anything like that before."

The midget sighed. "Okay honey. But only touching. No sucking - I used to be six feet tall."
 
1.The more beautiful the woman is who loves you, the easier it is to leave her with no hard feelings.

2.Nothing improves with age.

3.No matter how many times you've had it, if it's offered take it, because it'll never be quite the same again.

4.Sex has no calories.

5.Sex takes up the least amount of time and causes the most amount of trouble.

6.There is no remedy for sex but more sex.

7.Sex appeal is 50% what you've got and 50% what people think you've got.

8.No sex with anyone in the same office.

9.Sex is like snow; you never know how many inches you are going to get or how long it is going to last.

10.A man in the house is worth two in the street.

11.If you get them by the balls, their hearts and minds will follow.

12.Virginity can be cured.

13.When a man's wife learns to understand him, she usually stops listening to him.

14.Never sleep with anyone crazier than yourself.

15.The qualities that most attract a woman to a man are usually the same ones she can't stand years later.
 
Beer vs. Pussy

A beer is always wet.
A pussy needs encouragement.

Advantage: Beer.

A beer tastes horrible served hot.
A pussy tastes better served hot.

Advantage: Pussy.

Having an ice cold beer makes you satisfied.
Having an ice cold pussy makes you Hillary Clinton.

Advantage: Beer.

Beers have commercials making fun of skunky ones.
Pussy does not.

Advantage: Pussy

If you get a hair in your teeth consuming pussy, you are not disgusted.

Advantage: Pussy

24 beers come in a box. A pussy is a box you can come in.

Advantage: Pussy.

Too much head makes you mad at the person giving you a beer.

Advantage: Pussy.

If a beer is brewed with yeast, it is still edible.

Advantage: Beer.

If you come home smelling like beer, your wife may get mad.
If you come home smelling like pussy, she will definitely get mad.

Advantage: Beer.

6 beers in a night and you better not drive.
6 pussies in a night and you have done all the driving you need.

Advantage: Pussy

Buy too much beer and you will get fat.
Buy too much pussy and you will get poor.

Advantage: Push

It is socially acceptable to have a beer in the stands at a football game.
You are a legend if you have a pussy in the stands at a football game.

Advantage: Pussy

If a cop smells beer on your breath, you are going to get a breathalyzer.
If a cop smells pussy on your breath, you are going to get a high five.

Advantage: Pussy

With beer, bigger is better.

Advantage: beer.

Wearing a condom does not make a beer any less enjoyable.

Advantage: beer.

Pussy can make you see God. Beer can make you see the porcelain god.

Advantage: Pussy

If you think all day about the next pussy you will have, you are normal.
If you think all day about your next beer, you are an alcoholic.

Advantage: Pussy

Peeling labels off of beers is fun.
Peeling panties off of pussy is more fun.

Advantage: Pussy.

If you try to snag a beer at work, you get fired.
If you try to snag a pussy at work, you get hit with sexual harassment.

Advantage: Push.

If you suddenly drop a beer, it may break.
If you suddenly drop a pussy, it may hunt you down like the dog you are.

Advantage: Beer.

If you change to another beer, your old brand will gladly have you back.

Advantage: beer.

The best pussy you have ever had is not gone once you have enjoyed it.

Advantage: Pussy.

The worst pussy you have ever had is not gone once you have enjoyed it.

Advantage: Beer.

Bad beer: Schlitz, PBR, Old Swill.
Bad pussy: Roseanne, Janet Reno, Madeline Albright.

Advantage: Push

Good beer: Samuel Adams, Moosehead,Pete's Wicked Winter Brew.
Good pussy: Almost all but the above.

Advantage Pussy.

The government taxes beer.

Advantage: Pussy.

It's a close call, but the numbers never lie.

Advantage: Pussy.
 
A prisoner escapes from his prison where he had been kept for 15 years.
As he runs away, he finds a house and breaks into it. He finds a young couple in bed. He gets the guy out of bed,
ties him up on a chair, ties up the woman to the bed and while he gets on top of her, he kisses her on the neck, then gets up, and goes to the bathroom.

While he is there, the husband tells his wife: "Listen, this guy is a prisoner, look at his clothes! He probably
spent a lot of time in prison, and has not seen a woman in years. If he wants sex, don't resist, don't complain, just do what he tells you, give him satisfaction. This guy must be dangerous, if he gets angry, he will kill us. Be strong, honey. I love you"

To which the wife responds, "I am glad you think that way. Sure, he has not seen a woman in years, but he was not kissing my neck. He was whispering in my ear. He told me that he found you very sexy, and asked if we kept any Vaseline in the bathroom. Be strong, honey. I love you too..."
 
One day a young man and woman were in their bedroom shagging. All of the sudden a bumble bee entered the bedroom window. As the young lady parted her legs the bee entered her fanny. The woman started screaming, "Oh my god, help me, there's a bee up my minge. The husband immediately took her to the local doctor and explained the situation.

The doctor thought for a moment and said, "Hmm, tricky situation. But I have a solution to the problem if you would permit me, sir."

The husband, being very concerned, agreed that the doctor could use whatever method to get the bee out of his wife's vagina. The doctor said, "Okay, what I'm gonna do is rub some honey over the top of my cock and push it up your wife. When I feel the bee I'll withdraw my cock and the bee should follow it out of your wife's fanny."

The husband nodded and gave his approval. The young lady said, "Yes, yes, whatever, just get on with it!"

So the doctor covered the tip of his cock with honey and slipped it gently inside young lady. After a few gentle strokes, the doctor said, "I don't think the bee has noticed the honey yet. Perhaps I should go a bit deeper." So the doctor went deeper and deeper. After a while the doctor began shafting the young lady very hard indeed.

The young lady began to quiver with excitement. She began to moan and groan aloud.

The doctor, concentrating very hard, looked like he was enjoying himself. He then put his hands on the young lady's tits and started making loud noises.

At this point the husband suddenly became very annoyed and shouted, "Now wait a minute! What the hell do you think you're doing?"

The doctor, still concentrating, replied, "Change of plan. I'm gonna drown the b******!"
 
First law:

A boy in love with a girl continues to be in love with her and a girl in love with a boy continues to be in love with him, until and unless any external agent(brother or father of the girl) comes into play and breaks the legs of the boy.


Second law:

The rate of change of intensity of love of a girl towards a boy is directly proportional to his bank balance.


Third law:

The force applied while proposing a girl by a boy is equal and opposite to the force applied by the girl while using her sandals.


Universal law:

Love can neither be created nor be destroyed, it can only be transfered from one girlfriend to another girlfriend.
 
A love couple sitting in the park, boy tries 2 kiss the girl…..

Girl: No dear not all this b4 marriage.

Boy: Don't worry darling I m already married.


............ ......... ......... ......... ......... ....





WIFE: DARLING TODAY IS ANNIVERSARY OF OUR MARRIAGE, WHAT SHOULD WE DO

HUSBAND : DEAR LET US STAND IN TWO MINUTES SILENCE


............ ......... ......... ......... ......... ....





Height of Kanjoosi: Bania's house in fire,

He is gvng miss calls 2 Fire brigade


............ ......... ......... ......... ......... ....





What makes a book bestseller?

A girl on the cover and no cover on the girl .. :)
 
A love couple sitting in the park, boy tries 2 kiss the girl…..

Girl: No dear not all this b4 marriage.

Boy: Don't worry darling I m already married.


............ ......... ......... ......... ......... ....





WIFE: DARLING TODAY IS ANNIVERSARY OF OUR MARRIAGE, WHAT SHOULD WE DO

HUSBAND : DEAR LET US STAND IN TWO MINUTES SILENCE


............ ......... ......... ......... ......... ....





Height of Kanjoosi: Bania's house in fire,

He is gvng miss calls 2 Fire brigade


............ ......... ......... ......... ......... ....





What makes a book bestseller?

A girl on the cover and no cover on the girl .. :)
 
nothing
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Practice makes a man perfect... - But nobody's perfect..... . So why practice?

Money is not everything. - There's MasterCard & Visa.

One should love animals. - They are so tasty.

Save water. - Shower with your girl friend.

Love thy neighbour. - But don't get caught.



Behind every successful man, there is a woman - And behind every unsuccessful man, there are two.

Every man should marry. - After all, happiness is not the only thing in life.

The wise never marry - And when they marry they become otherwise.

Success is a relative term. - It brings so many relatives.

Never put off the work till tomorrow what you can put off today.

Love is photogenic - It needs darkness to develop

Children in backseats cause accidents - Accidents in backseats cause children

"Your future depends on your dreams" - So go to sleep

There should be a better way to start a day - Than waking up every morning

"Hard work never killed anybody" - But why take the risk !

"Work fascinates me" - I can look at it for hours!

God made relatives; - Thank God we can choose our friends.

When two's company, - three's the result!

The more you learn, the more you know,
The more you know, the more you forget
The more you forget, the less you know - So... Why learn.

A bus station is where a bus stops.
A train station is where train stops.
On my desk, I have a work station.... What more can I say........
 
Why men are happier



Men are just simply happier people, and here is why...




Your last name stays put.




The garage is all yours.




Wedding plans take care of themselves.




Chocolate is just another snack.




You can be President. You can never be pregnant.




You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. You can wear NO shirt to a water park.




Car Mechanics tell you the truth.




The world is your urinal.




You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky.




You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.




Same work, more pay.




Wrinkles add character.




Wedding dress $5000. Tux rental-$100.




People never stare at your chest when you are talking to them.




The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.




New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.




One mood all the time.




Phone conservations are over in 30 seconds flat.




You know stuff about tanks.




A 5 day vacation requires only one suitcase.




You can open all of your own jars.




You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.




If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.




Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.




Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.




You never have strap problems in public.




You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.




Everything on your face stays its original color.




The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe even decades.




You only have to shave your face and neck.




You can play with toys all your life.




Your belly usually hides your big hips.




One wallet and one pair of shoes one color for all seasons.




You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.




You can "do" your nails with a pocket knife.




You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.




You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.




No wonder men are happier!
 
Personality By Name

Does your name begin with: A?
U are not particularly romantic, but you are interested in action. You mean
business. With you, what you see is what you get. You have no patience for flirting
and can't be bothered with someone who is trying to be coy, cute, demure, and
subtly enticing. You are an up-front person. You often don't get hints & you never
pass any. Brains turn you on. You must feel that your partner is intellectually
stimulating; otherwise you will find it difficult to sustain the relationship. You require
loving, cuddling, wining, and dining to know that you're being appreciated. Your
mate's physical attractiveness is important for you. You tend to be very practical, &
not very emotional. Your choices are very good & can only lead to trouble. You are
very self satisfied & egoistic.
________________________________________________________
Does your name begin with: B?
You give off vibes of lazy sensuality. You enjoy being romanced, wined, and dined.
You are very happy to receive gifts as an statement of the affection of your lover.
You want to be pampered and know how to pamper your mate. You are private in
your statement of endearments, and particular when it comes to love. You will hold
off until everything meets with your approval. You can control your appetite &
feelings. You require new sensations and experiences. You are willing to
experiment.
________________________________________________________
Does your name begin with: C?
You are a very social individual, and it is important to you to have a relationship.
You require closeness and togetherness. You want the object of your affection to be
socially acceptable and good-l! ooking. You see your lover as a friend and
companion. You are very sensual, needing someone to appreciate and almost
worship you. When this cannot be achieved, you have the ability to hold out on
affection until you receive this. You are an expert at controlling your desires and
doing without.
________________________________________________________
Does your name begin with: D?
Once you get it into your head that you want someone, you move full steam ahead
in your suit. You do not give up your quest easily. You are nurturing and caring. If
someone has a problem, this turns you on. You are highly passionate, loyal, and
intense in your involvement's, sometimes possessive and jealous. You are very
sharp & talented often with sense of humor. When people bother to look deep
inside they cannot resist what they see. You are stimulated by the eccentric and
unusual, having a free and open attitude. You get jealous of other peo! ple and lose
your temper.
________________________________________________________
Does your name begin with: E?
Your greatest need is to talk. If your date is not a good listener, you have trouble
relating. A person must be intellectually stimulating or you are not interested
sexually. You need a friend for a lover and a companion. You hate disharmony and
disruption, but you do enjoy a good argument once in a while-it seems to stir things
up. You flirt a lot, for the challenge is more important. But once you give your heart
away, you are uncompromisingly loyal. You will fall asleep with a good book.
Sometimes, in fact, you prefer a good book to a lover.
________________________________________________________
Does your name begin with: F?
You are idealistic and romantic, putting your lover on a pedestal. You look for the
very best mate you can find. You are a fli! rt, yet once committed, you are very
loyal. You are sensuous and privately passionate. Publicly, you can be showy,
extravagant, and gallant. You are a born romantic. Dramatic love scenes are a
favorite fantasy past time. You can be a very generous lover.
________________________________________________________
Does your name begin with: G?
You are fastidious, seeking perfection within yourself and your lover. You respond
to a lover who is your intellectual equal or superior, and one who can enhance your
status. You are sensuous and know how to reach the peak of stimulation, because
you work at it meticulously. You can be extremely active-never tiring out. Your
duties and responsibilities take precedence over everything else. You may have
difficulty getting emotionally close to people.
________________________________________________________
! Does your name begin with: H?
You seek a mate who can enhance your zest for life, fun & everything you seek for.
You will be very generous to your lover once you have attained a commitment. You
are very affectionate & very strong. Your gifts are actually an investment in your
partner. Before the commitment, though, you tend to be very careful with your
every move and equally cautious in your involvements often, as you believe that
you have to look out for yourself. You are a sensual and patient lover. You will hold
off till everything meets your full approval. You are a perfectionist, hard to satisfy
and strong in your beliefs. Not influential, you always stand your ground. People
can always count on you to stand by them in a ! crisis. You are a dreamer with a
passion for life.
________________________________________________________
Does your name begin with: I?
You have a great need to be loved, appreciated...even worshiped. You enjoy luxury,
sensuality, and pleasures of the flesh. You like necking spend hours just touching
feeling & exploring. You look for lovers who know what they are doing. You are not
interested in an amateur, unless that amateur wants a tutor. You are fussy and
exacting about having your desires satisfied. You are willing to experiment and try
new modes of statement. You bore easily and thus require adventure and change.
Your commitments don't last very long & you often tend to stray. Loyalty is not one
of your strong points. You are more sensual than sexual, but you are sometimes
downright lustful.
________________________________________________________
Does your name! begin with: J?
You are blessed with a great deal of physical energy. When used for a good cause
there is nothing to stop you, except maybe that they aren't always used for the
good. ( you could dance all night.) You respond to the thrill of the chase and the
challenge of the mating game. You can carry on great romances in your head. At
heart you are a roamer and need to set out on your own every so often. You will
carry on long- distance relationships with ease. You are idealistic and need to
believe in love. You have a need to be nurtured deep within.
________________________________________________________
Does your name begin with: K?
You are secretive, self-contained, and shy. You are very sexy, sensual, and
passionate, but you do not let on to this. Only in intimate privacy will this part of
your nature reveal itself. When it gets down to the nitty-gritty, you are an expert.
You know all the little tri! cks of the trade, can play any role or any game, and take
your love life very seriously. You don't fool around. You have the patience to wait
for the right person to come along. You are very generous & giving, often selfless.
You are kind-natured & sweet, which is found to be
attractive by many. You are a good friend.
________________________________________________________
Does your name begin with: L?
You can be very romantic, attached to the glamour of love. Having a partner is of
paramount importance to you. You are free in your statement of love and are
willing to take chances, try new sexual experiences and partners, provided it's all in
good taste. Brains turn you on. You must feel that your partner is intellectually
stimulating, otherwise you will find it difficult to sustain the relationship. You require
loving, cuddling, wining, and dining to know that you're being appreciated.
________________________________________________________
Does your name begin with: M?
You may appear innocent, unassuming and shy; but we know that appearances can
lie. When it comes to sex, you are no novice but something of a skilled technician.
You can easily go to extremes, though, running the gamut from insatiability to
boredom with the whole idea of love. You can be highly critical of your mate,
seeking perfection in both of you. It is not easy to find someone who can meet your
standards. You have difficulty expressing emotions and drawing close to lovers. You
are often selfish, thinking you are always right no matter what. You never give in.
Winning is your prime desire- at any cost. You often forget friends and family and
you live for the moment.
________________________________________________________
Does your name begin with: N?
You are emotion! al and intense. When involved in a relationship, you throw your
entire being into it. Nothing stops you; there are no holds barred. You are all
consuming and crave someone who is equally passionate and intense. You believe
in total freedom. You are willing to try anything and everything. Your supply of
energy is inexhaustible. You want to be pampered and know how to pamper your
mate. You also enjoy mothering your mate. You often have the greatest love affairs
all by yourself, in your head. You are very imaginative.
________________________________________________________
Does your name begin with: O?
You are very interested in fun activities yet secretive and shy about your desires.
You can re-channel much of your energy into making money and/or seeking we.
You can easily have extended periods of celibacy. You are a passionate,
compassionate lover, requiring the same qualities from your mate. Love is serious
busines! s; thus you demand intensity, diversity and is willing to try anything or
anyone. Sometimes your passions turn to possessiveness, which must be kept in
check.
________________________________________________________
Does your name begin with: P?
You are very conscious of social proprieties. You wouldn't think of doing anything
that might harm your image or reputation. Appearances count. Therefore, you
require a good-looking partner. You also require an intelligent partner. Oddly
enough, you may view your partner as your enemy...a good fight stimulates those
vibes. You are relatively free of hang-ups. You are willing to experiment and try
new ways of doing things. You are very social and sensual; you enjoy flirting and
need a good deal of physical gratification.
________________________________________________________
Does your name begin with: Q?
You require const! ant activity and stimulation. You have tremendous physical
energy. It is not easy for a partner to keep up with you. You are an enthusiastic
lover and tend to be attracted to people because of their ethnic groups. You need
romance, hearts and flowers, and conversation to turn you on and keep you going.
________________________________________________________
Does your name begin with: R?
You are a no-nonsense, action-oriented individual. You need someone who can
keep pace with you and who is your intellectual equal-the smarter the better. You
are turned on more quickly by a great mind than by a great body. However,
physical attractiveness is not very important to you. You have to be proved to be
worthy for a partner. You have a need to prove yourself the best. You want
feedback on your performance. You are open, stimulating & romantic.
________________________________________________________
Does your name begin with: S?
For you, it is pleasure before business. You can be romantically idealistic to a fault
and is capable of much sensuality. But you never loose control of your emotions.
Once you make the commitment you stick like glue. You could get jealous and
possessive. You tend to be very selfish often regarding yourself as the only human
being on the planet. You like being
the center of attention. You are very caring, sensitive, private & sometimes very
passive. Turned on by soft lights, romantic thoughts. When it gets down to the
nitty-gritty, you are an expert. You know all the little tricks of the trade, can play
any role, or any game, and take your love life very seriously. You don't fool around.
You have the patience to wait for the right person to come along. You are very
generous & giving, often selfless. You are kind nature & sweet, which is found to be
attractive by many. You are a good friend.
________________________________________________________
Does your name begin with: T?
You are very sensitive, private & sometimes very passive. You like someone who
takes the lead. Music, soft lights & romantic thoughts turn you on. You fantasize &
tend to fall in & out of love soon. When in love you are romantic, idealistic, mushy
& extremely. You enjoy having your senses & your feelings stimulated, titillated &
teased. You are a great flirt. You can make your relationships fit your dreams, all in
your own head. Once you put your mind to something you manage to stand by it
and see your dreams through. You aren't very good at expressing your feelings.
You like thing! s your own way. You do not like change; you like to hold on to
things. This may not always be good because if given an opportunity things may
develop into great things. You work your way to the top. Attention must be given to
what others say because even though you don't want to hear it their advice may
turn ! out to save your life.
________________________________________________________
Does your name begin with: U?
You are enthusiastic & at you're happiest when in love. When not in love you're in
love with love and always looking for someone to adore. You see romance as
challenge. You are a roamer & needs adventure, excitement freedom. You enjoy
giving gifts & looking good. You
are willing to put others feelings above yours.
________________________________________________________
Does your name begin with: V?
You are individualistic & you n! eed freedom, space & excitement. You wait till you
know someone well before committing yourself. Knowing someone means psyching
her/him out. You feel a need to get into his/her head to see hat makes him tick.
You are attracted to eccentric types. You believe that age is no barrier. You are
good at responding to danger, fear & suspense.
________________________________________________________
Does your name begin with: W?
You are very proud, determined & refuses to take no for an answer when it come to
love. Your ego is at stake all the time. You are romantic, idealistic, often in love with
love itself, not seeing your partner for who she or he really is. You feel deeply about
love & tends to throw all of your self into a relationship. Nothing is too good for
your lover. You like laying love games.
________________________________________________________
Does your name begin with: X?
You need constant stimulation because you get bored quickly. You can handle more
than 1 relationship at a time with ease. You can't shut off your mind. You can do 2
things at once. You are very talented.
________________________________________________________
Does your name begin with: Y?
You are sensual & very independent. If you can't have it your way, you will forget
the whole thing. You want to control your relationships, which doesn't work out too
well. You respond to physical stimulation. However if you can make money you will
give up the pleasures of the flesh for the moment. You have a need to prove
yourself the best. You want feedback on your performance. You are open,
stimulating & romantic.
________________________________________________________
Does your name begin with: Z?
You are very romantic ! but show feels that to love means to suffer. You wind up
serving your mate & attracting people who have unusual trouble. You see yourself
as a lover's savior.
 
Children were lined up in the cafeteria of an elementary school for lunch.
At a table was a large pile of apples.

A teacher made a note, and posted on the apple tray: "Take only ONE. God is watching."
Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies.

A child had written a note, "Take all you want. God is watching the apples!"


............ ......... ......... ......... ........







Sam and David were sharing their childhood memories.
Sam says: Once when I was playing on a road, a speeding bike hit me and I fell down on the earth unconsciously.

David: Oh my God! Did you survive that accident or you died.
Sam: I don't remember exactly because I was only 4 yeas old at that time.


............ ......... ......... ......... ........





Wife: Oh dear when you remove your specks you look like the same cute boy whom I married 20 years back.

Husband: Yes dear, when I remove my specks and look at you, you also look like the same charming girl whom I married 20 years back.
 
Sindhi lawyer: Case-wani
Sindhi lawyer after a case: Purse-wani
The blue-skier sindhi:Akash-wani
Supplied in south indian hospitals: Nursing gum Desi who falls at people's feet: Charan Singh Desi who falls at peopls' feet and stays there: Gir charan Singh


What is a smart Malayalee called?
Debo-nair.

What is a dynamic malayalee called ?
Pheno-Menon.

Why did the malayalee crossed the road ?
Simbly.

What did one Bengali voyeur ask another?
Keyhollo.

How was wire invented?
Two marwaris spotted the same coin.

Why did the Gujju think the film Gandhi was about a woman?
Because Be(h)n Kingsley was in it.

Why is India a banana republic?
Because Rajiv keeps chanting, "Hame ye banana hai, wo banana hi

What is a communist Sindhi called?
Lalwani.

What is a Sindhi who falls from the first floor called?
Thadani.

What is a Sindhi who falls from the 17th. floor called?
Kriplani.

What is a Sindhi who falls from the 30th. floor called?
Marjani.

What are the degrees of egoism in Tamil Nadu?
I, Iyer, Iyengar.

What is a jiving Sardar called?
Breakdan Singh.



Khalistan Jokes:
Khalistan National Drink: Sarbat Khalsa Khalistan National Bird:Tandoori Chicken International Airline: Kitthe Pacific National Airline: Itthe Pacific National Anthem: Sten gun man National Taxi Service: Kar Seva


What do you call a sardar who drinks only beer ?
Just-beer Singh.

What do you call a sardar who has only one drink ?
Just-one Singh.

Khalistan's national song?
Bande marte hum.

A female Khalistan terrorist?
Hard Kaur.

A famous Khalistani profession?
Jarnailism.

khalistan history .. SARSON-DA-SAGA

the great wall of khalistan .. LONG-O-WALL

national dish of khalistan .. AKALI-DAAL

the dirty drain of khalistan .. BAR-NALA

a sikh scuba diver .. JULL-UNDER SINGH

a better adapted sikh diver .. JULLUNDER SINGH GILL

a bald sardarjee .. BAL-WANT SINGH

what does a sardarjee say to a whore ? .. WHORE JEE, KI HAL HAI ?



Q :- Why do you say (Bhagwan Shri) Rajneesh detests city life ?
A :- 'cos, from Koregaon he went to Oreg(a)on.


Q :- What is the most noteworthy contribution of the Sindhis' to Hindustani Music ?
A :- Raga Kirvani.


Q :- Why is A.P the land of underwears ?
A :- 'cos there they keep saying - yemUNDEE, chappUNDEE, koorchUNDDEE etc.

Q :- What is the (State) Anthem of A.P ?
A :- telan-gana-mana ...


Q :- What is the most famous jingle in A.P ?
A :- A.P days are here again ...



What do you call a bong who talks a lot, sometimes without making sense?
Mr. Chatter Jee.

Who is that guy visiting the Golden Temple everyday?
Har Mandir Singh.

What do you call a very rich Malayalee?
Million Iyer

Who is he who has many publications to his credit?
Journal Singh

What do you call a bong who takes bribe?
Mr. Goosh

Who is he who visited the Russia-China border?
Long Wall

Who is that guy who enlightens others?
Lanthanwalla

What do you call a sikh female's boyfriend?
Her Pal Singh

What do you call a sikh guy running towards the enemy camp with a
white flag in his hand? (This had appeared on SCI long long ago.)
Surrender Singh


Q : What is a rich malayalee called ?
A : Millionayar

One more here

Q : How does a malayalee spell the word 'MOON' ?
A : M - O yet another O N.
 
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