Jokes...

nick18_in

Nikhil Gadodia
Teacher :What happened in 1869?
Student:Gandhi ji was born.
Teacher :What happened in 1873?
Student:Gandhiji was four years old.




Teacher :Ramya and Shilpa!,why are you late for school,today?
Shilpa:Madam,I lost a one rupee coin and was searching for it.
Teachear:Ramya,what about you?
Ramya:Madam,,I was not able to move beacause I was hiding that coin under my feet.



Question:What is the fullform of maths.
Anwser:Mentaly affected teachers harrasing students




Teacher : Now children , if I saw a man beating a donkey and stopped him then what virtue would I be showing ?
Student : BROTHERLY LOVE



Teacher :Because of Gandhiji's hard work what do we get on 15th August.
Student:A holiday


Which is the pan in which we cannot fry something?......
japan



Teacher :Tomorrow there will be a lecture on Sun.Everyone must attend it.
Raju:No ma'm! I will not be able to attend it.
Teacher :Why?
Raju:My mother will not allow me to go so far!!!


Teacher:"Can anyone give me an example of Coincidence?"
Johnny:"Sir, my mother and father got married on the same day same time."
Teacher: How old is ur father.
Sunny:As old as I am.
Teacher:How is it possible?
Sunny:He became father only after I was born.



Teacher:There is a frog,Ship is sinking,potatoes cost Rs 3/kg .Then,what is my age?
STUDENT:32 yrs.
Teacher:How do you know?
STUDENT:Well,my sister is 16 yrs old and she is half mad.



Student:(to teacher)Ma'am my pen has run out of ink.
Teacher:Go run after it.
Teacher:Ramu,get up.How can you sleep in my class?
Ramu:I can teacher,if you keep your voice down.


Teacher: Where does God live?
Little boy: I think he lives in our bathroom.
Teacher: Why do you say that?
Little boy: Well, every morning my daddy bangs on the door and says, 'God, are you still in there?'





Teacher:"What is your name?".
Student:"Mera naam Suraj Prakash hai."
Teacher:"When I ask aquestion in english,answer it in english."
Student:"My name is Sunlight."
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1)Q : KAUN SI DEVI KA KAUN SA PRASAD INDIAN ME FAMOUS HAI?
A : RABRI DEVI KA LALOO PRASAD !!!

2)SANTA : YAAR TUNE APNI BIWI KO TALAAQ KYUN DIYA?
BANTA : YAAR WOH BADI CHARACTER LESS THI,
SHAADI MUJHSE KI THI AUR BACCHA BHAGWAN SE MANGTI THI !!!

3)SARDARJI STANDING BELOW A TUBE LIGHT WITH OPEN MOUTH, WHY?
BECAUSE HIS DOCTOR ADVISED HIM "TODAY'S DINNER SHOULD BE LIGHT" !!!

4)AN ELEPHANT MEETS ANT.
ANT : HAATHI TUMHARI UMAR KITNI HAI?
ELEPHANT : PAANCH SAAL
ANT : PAANCH SAAL, AUR ITNE BADE ???
HAATHI : I AM A COMPLAN-BOY !!!

5)EXMS KE 4 DIN PEHLE SYLLABUS DEKHA TO YAAD AAYA
KUCH TO HUA HAI, KUCH HO GAYA HAI,
EXAMS KE DIN PAPER DEKH KAR YAAD AAYA
SAB KUCH ALAG HAI, SAB KUCH NAYA HAI !!!
 
1) Girl: Will u marry me?
Santa: No, humare yahan shaadi sirf relatives mein hi hoti hai. Mummy ne Papa se, Didi ne Jijaji se aur Bhaiya ne Bhabhi se

2) Santa joined NASA. After one month the Americans had to change the name from NASA to SATYANASA
Banta ped pe chada to upar baithey bandar ne poocha: Upar kyon aaya?
Banta: Apple khane.
Bandar: Yeh to aam ka ped hai.
Banta: Pata hai, apple saath laya hoon.

3) Q: A Man asked Santa, "Akal badhi ya bhains? "
A: Santa bola, "Pehle date of birth to batao."

4) Banta: Name the 3 fastest means of communication.
Santa: Telephone, Television, Tell-a-woman.

5) Santa standing on platform suddenly jumps on the railway track.
Banta: Santa u'll die.
Santa: U'll die bcoz haven’t u heard train is coming on platform.

6) What's Ford?
Santa: Gaadi.
What's Oxford?
Santa: So simple, Bail Gaadi.
 
Once all the scientists die and go to
heaven............ They decide
to play hide-n-seek.........Unfortunately Einstein is the one who has
the den...........He is supposed to count up to 100...and then start
searching.....

Everyone starts hiding except Newton.........
Newton just draws a square of 1 meter and stands in it right in front
of Einstein...........

Einstein's counting
1,2,3......97,98,99.....100........ He opens his eyes and finds Newton
standing in front........

Einstein says "newton's out..newton's....out....."
Newton denies and says i am not out........
He claims that he is not Newton......

All the scientists come out to see how he proves that he is not
Newton..........

Newton says "I am standing in a square of area 1m squared..... That
makes me Newton per meter squared...... since one Newton per meter squared
is one Pascal, I'm Pascal, Therefore Pascal is OUT...........!
 
WHAT IN THE HELL

A desi dies and goes to hell. There he finds that there is a different hell for each country. He goes first to the German hell and asks What do they do here?"

He is told "First they put you in an electric chair for an hour. Then they lay you on a bed of nails for another hour. Then the German devil comes in and whips you for the rest of the day."

The man does not like the sound of that at all, so he moves on. He checks out the USA hell as well as the Russian hell and many more. He discovers that they are all more or less the same as the German hell.

Then he comes to the Indian hell and finds that there is a very long line of people waiting to get in. Amazed he asks, "What do they do here?"

He is told "First they put you in an electric chair for an hour. Then they lay you on a bed of nails for another hour. Then the Indian devil comes in and whips you for the rest of the day."

"But that is exactly the same as all the other hells - why are there so many people waiting to get in?

"Because there is never any electricity, so the electric chair does not work, someone stole all the nails, and the devil used to be a public servant, so he comes in, punches his time-card and then goes back home..."
 
No brains



A college student was in a philosophy class, which had a discussion about God's existence. The professor presented the following logic:

"Has anyone in this class heard God?" Nobody spoke. "Has anyone in this class touched God?" Again, nobody spoke. "Has anyone in this class seen God?" When nobody spoke for the third time, he simply

Stated, "Then there is no God."

One student thought for a second, and then asked for permission to reply. Curious to hear this bold student's response, the professor granted it, and the student stood up and asked the following questions of his classmates:

"Has anyone in this class heard our professor's brain?" Silence.

"Has anyone in this class touched our professor's brain?" Absolute Silence.
"Has anyone in this class seen our professor's brain?" When nobody in the class dared to speak, the student concluded, "Then, according to our professor's logic, it must be true that "Our Professor has no brain! "
 
Santa: Ghar ka saara keemti samaan chhupa ke rakh do, mere dost aa rahe hain.
Jeeto: Kyon! Aapke dost chura lengey?
Santa: Nahin, pehchan lengey


How did santa tried to kill a bird??

He took it to the top of a building and dropped it from there to die.



Santa ki shaadi ek nurse se ho gayi.
Banta: Aur santa, kaisi nibh rahi hai?
Santa: Pooch mat yaar, jab tak sister na kaho, bolti hi nahi.


Banta: Yeh chaaku kyon ubaal rahe ho?
Santa: Suicide karne ke liye
Banta: To phir ubalne kui kya zaroorat hai?
Santa: Kahin infection na ho jaaye


Girl: Will u marry me?
Santa: No, humare yahan shaadi sirf relatives mein hi hoti hai. Mummy ne Papa se, Didi ne Jijaji se aur Bhaiya ne Bhabhi se


Santa asked Banta: Why Manmohan Singh goes for a walk in evening?
Banta: Very simple, because he is PM not AM

:SugarwareZ-191:

:SugarwareZ-191:

:SugarwareZ-191:
 
JOKES

1. Father : Doctor, doctor, my son has swallowed my pen, what should I do ?
Doctor : Use a pencil till I get there.

2. Ram : When I grow up, I want to be a policeman and follow my father’s footsteps.
Shyam : I didn’t know your dad was a policeman.
Ram : He’s not, he's a burglar.

3. First beggar : What will you do if you get lots of money?
Second beggar : I will buy a car.
First beggar : Why ?
Second beggar : I get very tired when I walk and beg. Begging will be a whole lot easier if I have a car.

4. A man goes for an interview :-
Boss : Mr. Doshi, you shall get a salary of Rs. 8,000 and I will increase your salary to Rs. 11,000 after three months. When would you like to start ?
Mr. Doshi : After three months !!!

5. Ek SARDAR tha…………………………........................................................................
……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

Neeche kya dekh reh ho?
………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

Khatm ho gaya JOKE !!!

 Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha 

:SugarwareZ-191:
 
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