Jokes

HIGH-INSULT :P
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johny: Please Keep Me In Your %u00DFrain,
Not In Your Heart..;)
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Jass : How Funny,
Why Not Heart..??
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JOhny: %u00DFecause
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Your Heart Is Housefull And %u00DFrain Is %u00A3mpty,
More %u00A3mpty Space Means More Comfort ;D :P
 
Girl's status on FacebooK -

"Full moon"

Comments -
* Awwwww
* Bilkul aap k jaisa dikh raha hai
* Kaash ham b waha hote.
* Bilkul sahi kaha aapne..:)
* :*
..

Now boy's status.
"Full moon.."

Comments -
* To Hum kya kare be..
* Ghanta saale normal hai
* Abe tu mausam vibhag mai hai kya be BC .
* Abe tu yahi karte rahiyo ujade chaman....
* Andar daale aadha fir...:p
 
Ladkiya paraya dhan hai, to ladke kya?

Nahi pata kya?
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Ek No. ke CHOR,
jinki nazar hamesha paraye dhan par hi lagi hoti hai..:P

:SugarwareZ-240::SugarwareZ-018:
 
Lines by School boy%u2026

Love is when i walk to other side of classroom
to sharp my pencil, Just to See her..

N then realize that,
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I m holding a pen..!!
 
Dad asked his daughter -
Badi hokar kya karogi ?

DAUGHTER :
Maa banugi,
Padhai karungi,
Shaadi karungi

Dad :
Tu kuch bhi kar, par thoda sequence ka
dhyan rakhna !! :P
 
A man comes home from an exhausting day at work, plops down on the couch in front of the television, and tells his wife, “Get me a beer before it starts.”

The wife sighs and gets him a beer.

Fifteen minutes later, he says, “Get me another beer before it
starts.”

She looks cross, but fetches another beer and slams it down next to him.

He finishes that beer and a few minutes later says, “Quick, get me another beer, it’s going to start any minute.”

The wife is furious. She yells at him,

“Is that all you’re going to do tonight? Drink beer and sit in front of that TV? You’re nothing but a lazy, drunken, fat slob and furthermore . . .”

The man sighs and says, “It’s started.”..:p
 
Poem on "TAJMAHAL"
By 3 diffrent People.
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1) BACHELOR-
Takdir hai magar kismat nahi khulti,
Taj Mahal banana chahta hu,
Magar Mumtaz nahi MILTI.
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2) LOVER-
Takdir hai magar kismat nahi khulti,
Mumtaz mil gayi hai,
Magar Shadi nahi KARTI.
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3) MARRIED-
Takdir hai magar kismat nahi khulti,
Taj Mahal banana chahta hu,
Magar Mumtaz nahi MARTI...
 
"Generally we believe our memory is weak..

Bt whn we want 2 forget sm1 we loved a lot,

"Tab lagta h jaise pure desh k baadam humne hi kha rakhe ho".....:-P:-D
 
HIGH-INSULT :P
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johny: Please Keep Me In Your ßrain,
Not In Your Heart..;)
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Jass : How Funny,
Why Not Heart..??
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JOhny: ßecause
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Your Heart Is Housefull And ßrain Is £mpty,
More £mpty Space Means More Comfort ;D :P
 
Girl:Kya Tum Mere Ashiq Ho?
Boy:Haan
Girl:To Phir Muje chand, taare, duniya ki saari daulat-khushiya
do
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Boy:Tera Ashiq Hun,
Rajnikant Ka Beta Nahi.. :P
 
Boy-"I Love U"
Ladki- Tameez Se Baat Karo.
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Boy-
Om Manglam Bhagwan Vishnu With
Due Respect I Beg To Say That"I
Love U" devi Ji , Offer Grahan Kare :D :p :O
 
Jab “LADKI” Facebook pe tumse
baat na kare to usse kaise
baat karoge”
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Zara socho yaar......??
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Are yaar bahot simple hai
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Uske WALL pe likh do..
Oye Mere inbox me “I Luv U”kyu
bheja..?? :p =DD
 
A father is asked by his friend, "Has your son decided what he wants to be when he grows up?" "Yes, he wants to be a garbage collector," replied the boy's father.

His friend thought for a moment and responded, "That's a rather strange ambition to have for a career." "Well," said the boy's father, "he thinks that garbage collectors only work on Tuesdays!"
 
Public Toilet Me Baithe Santa Ko
Saath Wale Toilet Se Aawaz aayi: Kya Haal Hai Yaar....??
Santa: Ghabra Ke Bola: Fine! TheekHun!
Aawaz aayi :Kya Kar Rahe Ho....?? Santa: Tumhari Tarah Baitha Hua Hun!
Aawaz aayi : Main Aa Jaun Abi Tumhare Paas...??
Santa Ghabra Kr): Ohh ! NaNa Na.
Main Boht Busy Hun!
Then Aawaz aayi: Yar Main TumkoBaad Me Call Krta Hun.
Pata Nhi Kaun kamina Dusrey Toilet Se Meri Hr Baat Ka Jawab De Raha Hai......:
 
Dukandar se Chota Baccha:
Uncle rang gora karne wali Cream hai..

Dukandar: Haan hai..

Baccha: To saale lagata kyun nahi saale main roz dekhkar darr jata hu.
 
QUOTES ON "ROHIT SHARMA"

“People say that they wouldn’t pay to watch me play, but even I wouldn’t pay to watch him play!” – ‘Sir’ Ravindra Jadeja

“We are trying to secure him for our next advertisement because he swings the bat so fast!” – Manager, Khaitan fans.

“Rohit was sent to Earth by Sachin to play cricket. He is still regretting his mistake.” – Unknown

“I have never compared myself to anyone, but it’s hard to resist him!!” - Shahid Afridi

“Finally I can retire in peace and can rest easy knowing that my ‘walking wicket’ title has been passed on to an extremely deserving candidate!” – Chris Martin

”In an over I can bowl six different balls. But then Rohit looks at me with a sort of gentle bemusement down the pitch as if to say ‘Do you need more than one?’ – Steve Finn

“I have delayed my shoots a few seconds to watch Rohit bat” - Filmstar Abhishek Bachchan.

“If you can’t get the wicket of Rohit Sharma, you are struggling in life” – Brett Lee

“Ask him to walk on water for his team and he will ask you ‘are u effing kidding me? I can’t bat to save my life!! “- Harsha Bhogle

“You might pitch a ball down the leg stump and think you have bowled a poor ball and he walks around and gets it inside edge off to the stumps. His bat looks so light but he just waves it around like a clown” – Brett Lee

“India’s fortune will depend on how soon he gets out. There is no doubt Rohit is a funny thing!” - Sunil Gavaskar

”I’d like to see him go out and bat one day with a stump. I tell you that’s what he’s been doing all this while” - Greg Chappell

”He is to batting what Munaf is to fielding!” – Sourav Ganguly

“What we don’t need is a Rohit Sharma!” – Hamilton Masakadza, batsman, Zimbabwe

“During our team meetings, we rarely speak about the importance of the first three balls to Rohit Shama. If you can get him, you can thank your stars, otherwise you can get him in the next three balls” – Dale Steyn

“I get bored of umpiring when Rohit is batting”- Simon Taufel

“Don’t change the channel when Rohit Sharma walks out to bat, because by the time you change it back, he‘d be long gone!!” – Ravi Shastri

“Don’t commit your crimes when Rohit is batting, you’d hardly have any time” – Matthew Hayden

“Technically you can’t fault Rohit, where is the effing technique anyway?” – Geoffrey Boycott

We did not lose to a team called India, we just picked Rohit’s wicket”- Michael Clarke
 
How BEDROOM Smells After MARRIAGE:

1st 3 years ------Perfumes, Flowers,Chocolate, Strawberry, Grapes. ..

After 3 YRS-------Baby Powder, Johnsons Cream & Lotions, Baby oils
%u00B7
%u00B7 After 15YRS-------ZanduBalm, Vicks, Iodex, Relispray%u2026.
%u00B7
%u00B7 After 40 YRS------- Agarbatti
 
Ladki apne room me bethi zor zorse ro rahi thi
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Maa ne dekha to uske paas aayi
Or boli-
Kya hua beti?
Mujhe bata
Me teri dost hu
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Ladki boli-
Kya batau yaar
Apne wale se milne gayi
Thi
Tere wale ne dekh liya
to muje bahut maara :p:D:D:p:D
 
A BF takes his GF to a restua for dinner
GF order fish, crab, lobsters, chicken etc

BF asks her do u eat some much at home too

GF- no but after food my mother does not plan to f**k me=))
 
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