jokes... jokes......jokes

M

MBA (HR) GJU

New member
Sardar: I haven’t slept all night in the train.
Friend: Y?
Sardar: Got upper berth.
Friend: Y didn’t u Exchanged?
Sardar: oye, there was nobody 2 Exchange in the lower berth.


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Sardar tells a girl "Come 2 my house at night, nobody will b there............. Girl goes at night & really nobody was there


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A Teacher lecturing on population - In India after Every 10 sec a woman gives birth to a kid.
A Sardar stands up- we must find & stop her!


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Sardar-why r all these people running?
Man- This is a race, the winner will get the cup.
Sardar-If only the winner will get the cup, why r others running?


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Sardar had twins; he named them Tin Martin.
Again had twins & named Peter & Repeater.
Again twins & named Max & Climax.
Again the same. Disgusted Sardar named them TIRED&RETIRED!


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Teacher: "I killed a person" convert this sentence into future tense.
Sardar: The future tense is "u will go to jail".


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Sardar gets ready, wears tie, coat, goes out, climbs tree, and sits on the branch regularly.
A man asks why he does this.
Sardar: "I've been promoted as branch manager."


*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ *~*
Sardarji was filling up application form for a job. He was not sure as to what to be filled in column "Salary Expected".
After much thought he wrote: Yes!


__________________
Everything should be in LIMIT..........
 
Sardar told his servant: Go and water the plants. Servant: It’s already raining. Sardar: So what take an umbrella and go.


*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ *~*
Sardar found the answer to the most difficult question ever -What will come first, Chicken or egg?
O Yaar, what ever u order first will come first.


*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ *~*
Sardar wins 20 crore from Rs. 20 lottery ticket. Dealer gave 11 cr after deducting tax.
Angry Sardar: "Give me 20 cr or else return my 20 Rupees back!


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Postman: - I have to come 5 Miles to Deliver U This Packet
Sardar: - why did u come so far. Instead u could have posted it....


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Sardar proposed a Girl......Girl said 'I'm 1yr elder to you'...........Sardar
said 'Oye No Problem Soniye, I'll marry you NEXT YEAR.


*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ *~*
A Sardar & his wife filed an application 4 Divorce. Judge asked: How'll U
divide, U"VE 3 children? Sardar replied: Ok! We’ll apply NEXT YEAR


*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ *~*
Sardar's wish :when I die, I want to die like my grandpa who died peacefully in his
sleep not screaming like all the passengers in the car he was driving..


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Sardar at an ArtGallery: I suppose this horrible looking thing is what you call modern art
Art dealer: I beg your pardon sir, that’s a mirror!


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Sardar was writing something very slowly.
Friend asked:" Why r u writing so slowly?
Sardar: "I'm writing 2 my 6 yr old son, he can't read very fast.


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Flash news: A 2 seater plane crashed in a graveyard in Punjab. Local Sardars have so far found 500 bodies and are still digging for more.


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A man asked Sardarji, why Manmohan Singh goes walking at evening and not in the morning. Sardarji replied ''Arey bhai Manmohan is PM not AM''.


__________________
Everything should be in LIMIT..........
 
dad-exam kaisa hua?

son-q.1 chhut gaya
q.3 aata nai tha
q.4 karna bhul gaya
q.5 nazar nai aya :SugarwareZ-048:



dad-aur q no. 2????

son-bas ek wahi galat ho gaya.
 
A drawing teacher asks its students to draw some pictures. She goes to one student named Lucy and asks what she is drawing and lucy replies that she is drawing God.

Teacher says that no one has ever seen god and lucy immediately replied all of them would see god soon :-)
 
Boss : Where were you born ?
sardar : Punjab.
Boss : which part ?
sardar : Kya which part ? Whole body born in punjab.
 
2 sardar were fixing a bomb in a car.
Sardar 1 : What would you do if the bomb explodes while fixing.
sardar 2 : Dont worry, I have a one more.
 
Sardar : What is the name of your car ?
Lady : I forgot the name, but is starts with “T”.
Sardar : Oye Kamaal ki gaadi hai, Tea se start hoti hai. Hamaara gaadi
petrol se start hoti hai.
=================================================================
Sardar was busy removing a wheel from his auto. A man asks sardar why
are you removing a wheel from your auto.
sardar : Cant you read the board. Parking is only for 2 wheeler.
=================================================================
Sardar got into a bus on 1st April when conductor asked for ticket. He
gave
Rs.10/- and took the ticket and said April fool. I have pass.
=================================================================
Sardar joined new job. 1st day he worked till late evening on the
computer.
Boss was happy and asked what you did till evening.
Sardar : Keyboard alphabets were not in order, so I made it alright.
=================================================================
On a romantic day sardar’s girlfriend asks him. Darling on our
engagement day will you give me a ring.
Sardar : Ya sure, from landline or mobile.



:SugarwareZ-178:
 
Santa joined NASA. After one month the Americans had to change the name from
NASA to SATYANASA
_________________
Santa apni girl friend ko I Luv U kehta hai aur gir jata hai.
Gal: Yeh kya kar rahe ho?
Santa: I’m falling in love.
_________________
Santa: Today is Sunday & I wanna njoy, so I bought 3 movie tickets
Jeeto: Why 3?
Santa: For you and your parents
_________________
Museum Administrator: That’s a 500-year-old statue u’ve broken.
Banta: Thanks God! I thought it was a new one.
_________________
A man to Santa: Aao ji chess khelein
Santa: Tu chal mein sports shoes pehen kar aaya.
_________________
At the scene of an accident a man was crying: O God! I have lost my hand, oh!
Santa: Control yourself. Don’t cry. See that man. He has lost his head. Is he crying?
_________________
In an interview,
Interviewer: How does an electric motor run?
Santa: Dhhuuuurrrrrrrrrr. ….
Inteviewer shouts: Stop it.
Santa: Dhhuurrrr dhup dhup dhup…
_________________
Santa was getting bitten by mosquitoes the whole night. He got
irritated…
drank poison & said,
Ab kaato saalon, sab maroge!
_________________
Banta: U cheated me.
Shopkeeper: No, I sold a good radio to u.
Banta: Radio label shows Made in Japan but radio says This is all
India Radio!
_________________
Tourist: Whose skeleton is that?
Santa: Tipu’s skeleton.
Tourist: Whose that smaller skeleton next to it?
Santa: That was Tipu’s skeleton when he was child



:SugarwareZ-140:
 
The Russians dug 1000 ft in the ground and found copper wire; they declared Russia had electricity 1000 years back.
US dug and found optical fiber and declared US had telephone 2000 years back.
A sardar in India found nothing. Then said oye we had wireless technology 5000 years back.

_________________

Sardar: Last night I saw an English movie .It had no scene nor no sound.
Friend Sardar: wow tell me the name of the movie. I too want to see it.
Sardar: Please Insert Disc.
_________________
DIFFERENT SARDAR’S..

1.Student Sardar: Me fail English!!!!! Thats Unpossible.

2.Police :we’re going to ask you a few simple yes or no questions. Do you understand?
Thief Sardar : Yes. (lie dectector blows up)

3.Father Sardar : Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try

4.Patient Sardar: In my dreams monkey play football every night.
Doctor: Take this medicine from tonight.
Patient Sardar: Can I start from tomorrow because tonight is Final.
_________________
SARDAR’S BIRTHDAY..

Sardar went for an interview, The question was when is your birthday?

Sardar: 19th january.

Interviewer: which year?

Sardar: Nonsense..Every Year.
_________________
TICKET TICKET..
Sardar: should I buy tickets to my children.

Conductor: yes only if they are above 8.

Sardar: Thank god I have only 6 children.
 
SARDAR IN AMERICA.......


:SugarwareZ-122:

Three Sardarjis went for a tour to America.They searched for rooms everywhere and finally got one which is in the topmost floor of a 100 floor hotel.

After taking rest they started for a local visit.

While leaving the hotel, the manager informed them that they should reach the hotel before10.00pm or else lift will not be available and they have to take the steps for which they agreed and went out.

After all the entertainment in the city, they reached back late at 10.30.

Since lift was not available, they decided to take the stairways under the condition that each sardarji has to tell a story that lasts for 33 floors so that they can reach the 100th floor without much trouble.

After first sardarji finished his story in 33rd floor, the third sardarji said,

“I have a sad story to say, but i will tell at the end only”.

Then second sardarji finished his story and the third finished his story and finally they reached the 100th floor.

Then first sardarji asked what was the sad story.

The third one said,

“I forgot the room key which is on the manager’s table”.

They once again started back to the first floor and this time the second sardarji after crossing 33 floors from top said,

” I got a sad story, but I will also say that at the end”.

They finally reached the first floor and when asked about the sad story, the second sardarji said,

” The keys were in my pocket only”.

With anger and full tired, they once again start from the first floor.

After reaching the 33rd floor, the third sardarji said,

” I too have a sad story, but I will say at the end only”.

Then they reached the 100th floor and the second one asked the third sardarji about the sad story, he replied:

“This is not our hotel, It is on the other side of road, opposite to this…!!!”



:SugarwareZ-185:
 
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