A Marriage Proposal ! Enjoy the write up !

C

crs5866

Chetan Soni
Dear All,

A very Happy day to you.

The marriage season is on.. This one is a marriage proposal..You will get crazy !

*************
ACTUAL LETTER TAKEN FROM THE TIMES OF INDIA.
*RESPONSE TO A 'MARRIAGE PROPOSALS' ADVERTISEMENT!

Madam :

I am an olden young uncle living only with myself in Lahore. Having seen your advertisement for marriage purposes, I decided to press myself on you and hope you will take me nicely.

I am a soiled son from inside Punjab. I am nice and big, six foot tall, and six inches long. My body is filled with hardness, as because I am working hardly. I am playing hardly also. Especially I like cricket,and I am a good batter and I am a fast baller. Whenever I come running in for balling, other batters start running. Everybody is scared of my rapid balls that bounce a lot.

I am very nice man. I am always laughing loudly at everyone. I am jolly. I am gay. ladies, they are saying I am nice and soft. Am always giving respect to the ladies. I am always allowing ladies to get on top. That is how nice I am. I am not having any bad habits. I am not drinking and I am not sucking tobacco or anything else. Every morning I am going to the Jim and I am pumping like anything. Daily I am pumping and pumping. If you want you can come and see how much I am pumping the dumb belles in the Jim.

I am having a lot of money in my pants and my pants is always open for you. I am such a nice man, but still I am living with myself only. What to do?

So I am taking things into my own hands everyday... That is why I am pressing myself on you, so that you will come in my house and my things into your hand.

If you are marrying me madam, I am telling you, I will be loving you very hard every day.. fact, I will stop pumping dumb belles in the Jim. If you are not marrying me madam and not coming to me, I will press you and press you until you come. So I am placing my head between your nicely smelling feet looking up with lots of hope.

I am waiting very badly for your reply and I am stiff with anticipation.

Expecting soon

Yours and only yours

Choudhary Warraich,
born by mother in Okara and become big in Lahore, Punjab

******************

So, you smiled ?
That's what makes the day !

Best Wishes..
Chetan
 
A Desi chap was deeply in love with a pretty girl, whom he wanted. But he did not have the courage to talk to her in person. So he decided to go alone and with the help of a dictionary,wrote a letter of proposal to her.

HE WROTE :

Most worthy of your estimation after a long consideration and much mediation, I have a strongindication to become your relation.

As to my educational qualification, it is no exaggeration or fabrication, that I have passed mymatriculation examination (no doubt without any hesitation and very little preparation).

What do you say to the solemnization of our marriage celebration according to the glorificationof modern civilization and with a view to the expansion of the population of presentgeneration. On your approbation of the application,

I shall make preparation to improve my situation, and if such obligation is worthy ofconsideration it will be our argumentation of the joy and exaltation of our joint dissimilation.

Thanking you in anticipation and with devotion; To remain victim of your fascination.

SHE ANSWERED :

Congratulation for your lengthy narration of course full of affection aimed at an affiliation for acombination which on examination I find is a fine presentation of your ambition.

You have passed your matriculation with little preparation, what about my graduation after a long botheration, so improve situation in education and make an application by acquisition of post graduation and minimum qualification for the convocation and before taking your photo forcirculation undergo beautification.

Further strict observation of the following conditions is the regulation for the determination of our relation.

1. Consultation of my parents before approaching for my connection.

2. Communication of your confirmation that you are not a victim of any fascination and,

3. Procreation must not be your recreation.

In anticipation of a solid action instead of continuation of paper conversation.

I Remain, unaffected by your affection.
 
Mathematics of Marriage

Smart man + smart woman = romance
Smart man + dumb woman = pregnancy
Dumb man + smart woman = affair
Dumb man + dumb woman = marriage
Smart boss + smart employee = profit
Smart boss + dumb employee = production
Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion
Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime
 
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