A JOkE A DAY keeps tension away!!

A lawyer's dog, running around town unleashed, heads for a butcher shop and steals a roast. The butcher goes to the lawyer's office and asks, "if a dog running unleashed steals a piece of meat from my store, do I have a right to demand payment for the meat from the dog's owner?" The lawyer answers, "Absolutely."

"Then you owe me $8.50. Your dog was loose and stole a roast from me today."

The lawyer, without a word, writes the butcher a check for $8.50. The butcher, having a feeling of satisfaction, leaves.

Three days later, the butcher finds a bill from the lawyer: $100 due for a consultation.
 
A chines was in hospital,
A man went 2 see him,
chines said: CHING CHING MOU CHU CHA & died
Man went china 2 ask the meaning.
it was kutay k bachy oxygen k pipe se pair hata

 
Wife: I will die
Husband: I will also die
Wife: Why u want 2 die ?
Husband: Becoz main itni khushi bardasht nahi ker sakta
:SugarwareZ-229:
 
Boy: Main tumsay Shadi tu kerloon Magar Meray Ghar Walay Nahi Maan Rahay
Girl: Kon Kon Hai Tumharay Ghar Mein ?
Boy: 1 Wife 2 Bachay

:SugarwareZ-229:
 
3 chipkalian Dewar Per Ja Rahi Thi...Ek Chipkali Ne Gana Sunaya Baqi Do Nechay Gir Gayi... Kyun!!!
.
Baqi Do Ne Taliya Bajai Es Liye!!

:SugarwareZ-191:
 
Interviewer: imagine that u r in room with all doors & windows closed & it caught fire, now how can u escape?
Sardar ji: very simple, I'll stop imagining...

:SugarwareZ-098: :SugarwareZ-299: :SugarwareZ-299:
 
Wife: Jan main mar gayi tu kya ho ga ?
Husband: Main tu pagal hi ho jaunga...
Wife: Dusri shadi to nahi karoge na ?
Husband: Pagal to Kuch bhi kar sakta hai..

:SugarwareZ-191: :SugarwareZ-229: :SugarwareZ-229:
 
I urgently needed a few days off work, but I knew the Boss would not allow me to take a leave. I thought that maybe if I acted crazy then he would tell me to take a few days off. So I hung upside down on the ceiling and made funny noises. My co-worker (who's blonde) asked me what I was doing?
I told her that I was pretending to be a light bulb so that the Boss would think I was nuts and give me a few days off. A few minutes later the Boss came into the office and asked "What are you doing ?" I told him I was a light bulb. He said "You are clearly stressed out. Go home and recuperate for a couple of days". I jumped down and walked out of the office. When my co-worker (the blonde) followed me, the Boss asked her: "
And where do you think you're going? ( You're gonna love this. )
She said, "I'm going home too, I can't work in the dark!"

:SugarwareZ-191:
 
Bikhari: 50 paise de de maine 3 din se khana nahin khaya hai
Kanjoos: 10 rupaye dunga , pahele ye bata 50 paise mein khana kahan milta hai.

:SugarwareZ-191:
 
Santa: Yaar bachpan mein 20 maale se gir gaya tha
Banta: toh fir bach gaya ya mar gaya ?
Santa: yaad nahin hai bahut purani baat hai.
:bigsmile: :bigsmile:
 
Boy: mom, aaj mera dost ghar aa raha hai....ghar ke sab khilone chhupa do
Mom: tera dost chor hai kya?
Boy: nahin, woh apne khilone pehchan lega.
:SugarwareZ-191:
 
Sardar starts shouting in a store...... where is my free gift with this
oil?
Shopkeeper : there is nothing free with this
Sardar: it is written CHOLESTROL FREE.

:bigsmile:
 
Sardar 100 watt bulb par baap ka naam likh raha tha
Baap ne puchha "kya kar rahe ho?"
Sardar : baap ka naam roshan kar raha hoon.

:SugarwareZ-191:
 
Sardar: in my dreams rats play football evry night
DR: take this tablet you will be ok
Sardar: Can I take tommorrow, tonight is final match.

:SugarwareZ-191: :SugarwareZ-191:
 
This is called misfortune by itself ...
One morning at a doctor?s surgery a patient arrives complaining of serious back-pain. The doctor examines him and asks him" OK, what happened to your back?"
The patient replies "You know that I work for a local night club? This morning I got home to my apartment early and heard a noise in my bedroom. On entering I knew someone had been with my wife and the balcony door was open. I rushed out the balcony door and did not find anyone. As I looked down from the balcony I saw a man running out and he was dressing himself. I grabbed the fridge and threw it at him, That?s
how I strained my back"
The 2nd patient arrives looking as if he has been in a car wreck. The doctor said "My previous patient looked bad, but you look terrible. What the hell happened to you?"
He replied, "You know I have been unemployed for a while now .Today was the first day at my new job. I forgot to set my alarm and was running late. I was running out of the building, getting dressed at the same time, and you won't believe it but I was hit by a fridge."
The 3rd patient arrives; he looks even worse than the other two Patients do. The doctor is shocked. Again asks, "What the hell happened to youuuuuu.....?"
"Well I was sitting in a fridge & someone threw it from the 3rd floor"

:SugarwareZ-191: :SugarwareZ-191: :SugarwareZ-191:
 
Sonu to God: Please make Colombo the Capital of Italy.
Mother: Sonu, why do you want Colombo as Italy's Capital??
Sonu: Because that's what i wrote in exam paper
:SugarwareZ-299:
 
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