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Man Schooling: For those of you who are married, were married, or are contemplating marriage - under the assumption that men need (or ought) to be trained for Marriage, Southwest Tech is offering a new 2 year associates degree.... TWO YEAR DEGREE: Becoming a Real Man. That's right, in just...

You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say, "I am very rich.Marry me!" That's Direct Marketing. You're at a party with a bunch of friends and see a gorgeous girl. One of your friends goes up to her and pointing at you says, "He's very rich.Marry him." That's Advertising...

If You Can... If you can start the day without caffeine or pep pills, If you can be cheerful, ignoring aches and pains, If you can resist complaining and boring people with your troubles, If you can eat the same food everyday and be grateful for it, If you can understand when loved...

love lust. marriage.. Love, lust & marriage... LOVE - When your eyes meet across a crowded room. LUST - When your tongues meet across a crowded room. MARRIAGE - When you lose your child in crowded room. LOVE - When intercourse is called "making Love." LUST - When intercourse is...

Student Vs Professor After having failed his exam in "Logistics and Organization", a student goes and confronts his lecturer about it. Student: "Sir, do you really understand anything about the subject?" Professor: "Surely I must. Otherwise I would not be a professor!" Student: "Great...

Magician and Parrot There was this magician who had a job on a cruise liner, entertaining the passengers with a nightly show. He was very successful in his job and there was always a full house at all his performances. Life was sweet. The money was rolling in, he had one of the best...

A team of Managers was given an assignment to measure the height of a flagpole. So the Managers go out to the flagpole with ladders and tape. They're falling off the ladders, dropping the tape measures - the whole thing is just a mess. An Engineer comes along and sees what they're trying to do...

FAMILY STORY: A little girl asked her mother, "How did the human race appear?" The Mother answered, "God made Adam and Eve and they had children and so was all mankind made." Two days later she asked her father the same question. The father answered, "Many years...

The hardest part of skating is the ice. Ø The guy who invented the first wheel was an idiot; the guy who invented the other three, he was the genius. Ø The trouble with being punc tual is that there's no one there to appreciate it. Ø If our constitution allows us free speech, why...

"Agar koi tumhari salary na increase kare, tumhe promotion na de, tum kam karte raho.... sirf kam hi nehi zada kam karo........ promotion ki ummed na karo....... Dekhna, Uski aatma ek din jaroor jaagegi. Aur vo tumhe salary hike aur promotion zaroor dega" Aur agar fir bhi koi salary hike aur...

I love being a writer... what I can't stand is the paperwork.

Smile -- it makes people wonder what you're up to.

Everyone has a photographic memory; some people just don't have film. Life is unsure; always eat your dessert first

i am Born free and Taxed to death. When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane

Work is fine if it doesn't take up too much of your time.

Marriage is one of the chief causes of divorce.

I say no to drugs -- they just don't listen!

The road to success is always under construction

I've never been drunk, but often I've been over served

Always and never are two words you should always remember never to use