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Blonde's Headset A hairdresser was trying to cut a blonde's hair but, because she refused to take off the headset of her iPod, he found his task very difficult. Finally, exasperated, he pulled off the handset and she collapsed on the floor. An ambulance rushed her to hospital but too late...

Mad Cows Two cows are chatting in a field. One says to the other, "Are you worried by this mad cow disease?" The second cow says, "It doesn't affect me - I'm a rabbit!"

The man approached the very beautiful woman in the large supermarket and asked, "You know, I've lost my wife here in the supermarket. Can you talk to me for a couple of minutes?" "Why?" "Because every time I talk to a beautiful woman my wife appears out of nowhere."

A young woman went to her doctor complaining of pain. "Where are you hurting?" asked the doctor. "You have to help me, I hurt all over", said the woman. "What do you mean, all over?" asked the doctor, "be a little more specific." The woman touched her right knee with her index finger and...

"The doctor said he would have me on my feet in two weeks." "And did he?" "Yes, I had to sell the car to pay the bill."

The manager was very angry with this beginner who wanted a very high salary. He asked him why he wanted so much money whereas he had no experience. The beginner replied "Work is very difficult when you are a beginner. It becomes easier as you get experience."

A woman takes a lover during the day while her husband is at work. Her 9 year old son comes home unexpectedly, sees them and hides in the bedroom closet to watch. The woman's husband also comes home. She puts her lover in the closet, not realizing that the little boy is in there already. The...

These are funniest excuse notes from parents collected by schools from all over this country. 1. Please excuse Lola for being absent. She was sick and I had her shot. 2. Jimmy has been absent yesterday because he had two teeth taken out of his face. 3. My daughter is under a doctor's care...

The scene in the film was tense and the audience sat enthralled. Suddenly, the hero slapped the heroine on the face. In the silence that followed, a young voice piped up: 'Why doesn’t she hit back like you do, mummy?'

TEACHER: Why are you late? SANTA: Because of the sign. TEACHER: What sign? SANTA: The one that says, "School Ahead, Go Slow."

GEORGE WASHINGTON TEACHER: "George Washington not only chopped down his father's Cherry tree, but also admitted doing it. Now do you know why his father didn't punish him?" SANTA: "Because George still had the axe in his hand?"

STRANGE SOCKS TEACHER: What a pair of strange socks you are wearing, one is green and one is blue with red spots! BALGOBIN: Yes it's really strange. I've got another pair just like that at home.

COINCIDENCE TEACHER: "Can anybody give an example of COINCIDENCE?" STUDENT: "Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the same day, same time."

PIANO Sardarji zebra crossing ke black & white patte par bar bar idhar-udhar chalta tha, woh kya soch raha hoga....think............."SALA YE PIANO BAJTA KYO NAHI"

LEAVE APPLICATION Infosys, Bangalore: An employee applied for leave as follows: 'Since I have to go to my village to sell my land along with my wife, please sanction me one-week leave.'

MUNDAN This leave letter is from Oracle Bangalore: From an employee who was performing the "mundan" ceremony of his 10 year old son: "as I want to shave my son's head, please leave me for two days."

MARRYING DAUGHTER Another gem from CDAC. Leave-letter from an employee who was performing his daughter's wedding: "as I am marrying my daughter, please grant a week's leave.."

WHAT A DREAM Wife: I dreamed you gave me $100 for summer clothes last night. You wouldn’t spoil that dream, would you, Dear? Husband: Of course not, Darling. You may keep the $100.

RAILWAY STATION Three professors had walked down to the train station from the University. They were so absorbed in their conversation that they didn't hear the train arrive, but they did notice the noise of the train as it started to depart. After a desperate rush two of them manage to scramble...

Two guys robbed a rob a bank and mess it up, managing to escape with two sacks that they find on the floor. And they take one sack each. After awhile they meet again and one asks the other, 'What did you find in your sack?' 'Ten lakh Rupees!' 'Wow.... that's a lot! What did you do with the...