management lessons

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gaurav_kh3

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Lesson Number One
*****************
A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all day.

A small rabbit saw the crow, and asked him, "Can I also sit like you
and do nothing all day long?"

The crow answered "Sure, why not."

So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the crow, and rested.

All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.

Management Lesson:
To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high
up.









Lesson Number Two
*****************
A turkey was chatting with a bull. "I would love to be able to get to
the top of that tree," sighed the turkey, "but I haven't got the
energy."

"Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?" replied the
bull.
"They're packed with nutrients."

The turkey pecked at a lump of dung and found that it actually gave
him enough strength to reach the first branch of the tree.

The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second
branch.

Finally after a fortnight, there he was proudly perched at the top of
the tree. Soon he was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot the
turkey out of the tree.

Management Lesson:
Bullshit might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there.












Lesson Number Three
*******************
When the body was first made, all the parts wanted to be Boss.

The Brain said, "I should be Boss because I control the whole body's
responses
and functions."

The feet said, "We should be Boss as we carry the brain about and get
him to where he wants to go."
The hands said, "We should be Boss because we do all the work and
earn all the money."

And so it went on and on with the heart, the lungs and the eyes until
finally the asshole spoke up.

All the parts laughed at the idea of the asshole being the Boss. So
the asshole went on strike, blocked itself up and refused to work.

Within a short time the eyes became crossed, the hands clenched, the
Feet twitched, the heart and lungs began to panic and the brain
fevered.

Eventually they all decided that asshole should be the Boss, so the
motion was passed.

All the other parts did all the work while the Boss just sat and
passed out the shit!

Management Lesson:
You don't need brains to be a Boss - any asshole will do.











Lesson Number Four
******************
A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold, the
bird froze and fell to the ground in a large field.

While it was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on it.
As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, it began to
realize how warm it was.

The dung was actually thawing him out! He lay there all warm and
happy and soon began to sing for joy.

A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate.

Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of
cow dung and promptly dug him out and ate him!

Mnagement Lessons:
1) Not everyone who drops shit on you is your enemy.
2) Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend.
3) And when you're in deep shit, keep your mouth shut!




MAY GOD BE WITH THEE
 
A man in a hot air balloon realized he was lost. He reduced altitude and
spotted a woman below. He descended a bit more and shouted, "Excuse me,
can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago, but I
don't know where I am."

The woman below replied, "You're in a hot air balloon hovering
approximately 30 feet above the ground. You're between 40 and 41 degrees
north latitude and between 59 and 60 degrees west longitude."

"You must be an engineer," said the balloonist. "I am," replied the woman,
"How did you know?"

"Well," answered the balloonist, "everything you told me is, technically
correct, but I've no idea what to make of your information, and the fact
is I'm still lost. Frankly, you've not been much help at all. If anything,
you've delayed my trip."

The woman below responded, "You must be in Management." "I am," replied
the balloonist, "but how did you know?"

"Well," said the woman, "you don't know where you are or where you're
going. You have risen to where you are due to a large quantity of hot air.

You made a promise which you've no idea how to keep, and you expect people
beneath you to solve your problems. The fact is you are in exactly the same
position you were in before we met, but now, somehow, it's my fault."
 
A sales rep, an administration clerk and the manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie comes out in a puff of smoke. The Genie says, "I usually only grant three wishes,
so I'll give each of you one wish each."
"Me first! Me first!" says the admin clerk. "I want to be in the Bahamas, driving a speedboat, without a care in the world."
Poof! She's gone.
In astonishment, "Me next! Me next!" says the sales rep. "I want to be in Hawaii, relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas and the love of my life."
Poof! He's gone. "OK, you're up," the Genie says to the manager.
The manager says, "I want those two back in the office after lunch."

Moral of the story:
Always let your boss have the first say.
 
A young man applied for a job as a farmhand. When the farmer asked
for his qualifications, he said, %u201CI can sleep when the wind blows.%u201D This
puzzled the farmer. But he liked the young man, and hired him.

A few days later, the farmer and his wife were awakened in the night
by a violent storm. They quickly began to check things out to see if all
was secure. They found that the shutters of the farmhouse had been
securely fastened. A good supply of logs had been set next to the
fireplace.

The young man slept soundly.

The farmer and his wife then inspected their property. They found that
the farm tools had been placed in the storage shed, safe from the
elements.

The tractor had been moved into the garage. The barn was properly
locked. Even the animals were calm. All was well.

The farmer then understood the meaning of the young man%u2019s words,
%u201CI can sleep when the wind blows.%u201D

Because the farmhand did his work loyally and faithfully when the
skies were clear, he was prepared for the storm when it broke. So
when the wind blew, he was not afraid. He could sleep in peace.

Moral: Prepare for the storm. Do not wait use your free time to be prepared for future.
 
gaurav_kh3 said:
Lesson Number One
*****************
A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all day.

A small rabbit saw the crow, and asked him, "Can I also sit like you
and do nothing all day long?"

The crow answered "Sure, why not."

So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the crow, and rested.

All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.

Management Lesson:
To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high
up.









Lesson Number Two
*****************
A turkey was chatting with a bull. "I would love to be able to get to
the top of that tree," sighed the turkey, "but I haven't got the
energy."

"Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?" replied the
bull.
"They're packed with nutrients."

The turkey pecked at a lump of dung and found that it actually gave
him enough strength to reach the first branch of the tree.

The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second
branch.

Finally after a fortnight, there he was proudly perched at the top of
the tree. Soon he was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot the
turkey out of the tree.

Management Lesson:
Bullshit might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there.












Lesson Number Three
*******************
When the body was first made, all the parts wanted to be Boss.

The Brain said, "I should be Boss because I control the whole body's
responses
and functions."

The feet said, "We should be Boss as we carry the brain about and get
him to where he wants to go."
The hands said, "We should be Boss because we do all the work and
earn all the money."

And so it went on and on with the heart, the lungs and the eyes until
finally the asshole spoke up.

All the parts laughed at the idea of the asshole being the Boss. So
the asshole went on strike, blocked itself up and refused to work.

Within a short time the eyes became crossed, the hands clenched, the
Feet twitched, the heart and lungs began to panic and the brain
fevered.

Eventually they all decided that asshole should be the Boss, so the
motion was passed.

All the other parts did all the work while the Boss just sat and
passed out the shit!

Management Lesson:
You don't need brains to be a Boss - any asshole will do.











Lesson Number Four
******************
A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold, the
bird froze and fell to the ground in a large field.

While it was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on it.
As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, it began to
realize how warm it was.

The dung was actually thawing him out! He lay there all warm and
happy and soon began to sing for joy.

A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate.

Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of
cow dung and promptly dug him out and ate him!

Mnagement Lessons:
1) Not everyone who drops shit on you is your enemy.
2) Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend.
3) And when you're in deep shit, keep your mouth shut!




MAY GOD BE WITH THEE
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Hey Friend,

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So please download and check it.
 

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