nick18_in
Nikhil Gadodia
You are Indian if...
1. Everything you eat is savored In garlic, onion and tomatoes.
2. You try and reuse gift wrappers, gift boxes, and of course aluminium
foil.
3. You try to eject food particles from between your teeth by pressing
your tongue against them and making a peculiar noise like, tshick,tshick,
tschick, tschick.
4. You are standing next to the two largest size suitcases at the
Airport.
5. You arrive one or two hours late to a party - and think its normal.
6. You peel the stamps off letters that the Postal Service missed to
mark up.
7. You recycle Wedding Gifts.
8. You name your children in rhythms (example, Honey & Money, Sita &
Gita, Ram & Shyam.)
9. All your children have pet names, which sound nowhere close to their
real names.
10. You take Indian snacks anywhere it says "No Food Allowed"
11. You talk for an hour at the front door when leaving someone's house.
12. You load up the family car with as many people as possible.
13. You use plastic to cover anything new in your house whether it's the
remote control, VCR, carpet or new couch.
14. Your parents tell you to not care what your friends think but they won't
let you do certain things because of what the other "Uncles and Aunties"
will think.
15. You buy and display crockery, which is for special occasions, which
never happen.
16. You have a vinyl tablecloth on your kitchen table.
17. You use grocery bags to hold garbage.
18. You keep leftover food in your fridge in as many numbers of bowls as
possible.
19. Your kitchen shelf is full of jam jars, varieties of bowls and plastic
utensils (got free with some household items).
20. You carry a stash of your own food whenever you travel (and travel means
any car ride longer than 15 minutes).
21. You own a rice cooker or a pressure cooker.
22. You fight over who pays the dinner bill.
23. You majored in engineering, medicine or law and now........are after
Software and only Software no matter which field you belong to.
24. You live with your parents and you are 40 years old. (And they prefer it
that way).
25. You don't use measuring cups when cooking.
26. You feel like you've gotten a good deal if you didn't pay tax.
27. You never learnt how to stand in a queue.
28. You can only travel if there are 5 persons at least to see you off or
receive you whether you are traveling by bus, train or plane.
29. If she is NOT your daughter, you always take interest in knowing whose
daughter has run with whose son and feel proud to spread it at the velocity
of more than the speed of light.
30. You only make long distance calls after 11 p.m.
31. If you don't live at home, when your parents call, they ask if you've
eaten, even if it's midnight.
32. You call an older person you never met before "uncle."
33. When your parents meet strangers and talk for a few minutes, you
discover you're talking to a distant cousin.
34. Your parents don't realise phone connections to foreign countries have
improved in the last two decades, and still scream at the top of their lungs
when making foreign calls.
35. You have bed sheets on your sofas so as to keep them away from getting
dirty.
36. When dining out, you think Rs 10 is enough of a tip.
37. It's embarrassing if your wedding has less than 600 people.
38. You list your daughter as "fair and slim" in the matrimonial no matter
what she looks like.
39. You treat the NRI persons (especially from America) as if they are the
only persons living in this world (including YOU).
40. You've seen the ground while inside the lavatory of a train.
41. All your tupperware is stained with food color.
42. You have drinking glasses made of steel.
43. You have mastered the art of bargaining in shopping.
44. You have really enjoyed reading this mail and forward it to as many
Indians as possible
1. Everything you eat is savored In garlic, onion and tomatoes.
2. You try and reuse gift wrappers, gift boxes, and of course aluminium
foil.
3. You try to eject food particles from between your teeth by pressing
your tongue against them and making a peculiar noise like, tshick,tshick,
tschick, tschick.
4. You are standing next to the two largest size suitcases at the
Airport.
5. You arrive one or two hours late to a party - and think its normal.
6. You peel the stamps off letters that the Postal Service missed to
mark up.
7. You recycle Wedding Gifts.
8. You name your children in rhythms (example, Honey & Money, Sita &
Gita, Ram & Shyam.)
9. All your children have pet names, which sound nowhere close to their
real names.
10. You take Indian snacks anywhere it says "No Food Allowed"
11. You talk for an hour at the front door when leaving someone's house.
12. You load up the family car with as many people as possible.
13. You use plastic to cover anything new in your house whether it's the
remote control, VCR, carpet or new couch.
14. Your parents tell you to not care what your friends think but they won't
let you do certain things because of what the other "Uncles and Aunties"
will think.
15. You buy and display crockery, which is for special occasions, which
never happen.
16. You have a vinyl tablecloth on your kitchen table.
17. You use grocery bags to hold garbage.
18. You keep leftover food in your fridge in as many numbers of bowls as
possible.
19. Your kitchen shelf is full of jam jars, varieties of bowls and plastic
utensils (got free with some household items).
20. You carry a stash of your own food whenever you travel (and travel means
any car ride longer than 15 minutes).
21. You own a rice cooker or a pressure cooker.
22. You fight over who pays the dinner bill.
23. You majored in engineering, medicine or law and now........are after
Software and only Software no matter which field you belong to.
24. You live with your parents and you are 40 years old. (And they prefer it
that way).
25. You don't use measuring cups when cooking.
26. You feel like you've gotten a good deal if you didn't pay tax.
27. You never learnt how to stand in a queue.
28. You can only travel if there are 5 persons at least to see you off or
receive you whether you are traveling by bus, train or plane.
29. If she is NOT your daughter, you always take interest in knowing whose
daughter has run with whose son and feel proud to spread it at the velocity
of more than the speed of light.
30. You only make long distance calls after 11 p.m.
31. If you don't live at home, when your parents call, they ask if you've
eaten, even if it's midnight.
32. You call an older person you never met before "uncle."
33. When your parents meet strangers and talk for a few minutes, you
discover you're talking to a distant cousin.
34. Your parents don't realise phone connections to foreign countries have
improved in the last two decades, and still scream at the top of their lungs
when making foreign calls.
35. You have bed sheets on your sofas so as to keep them away from getting
dirty.
36. When dining out, you think Rs 10 is enough of a tip.
37. It's embarrassing if your wedding has less than 600 people.
38. You list your daughter as "fair and slim" in the matrimonial no matter
what she looks like.
39. You treat the NRI persons (especially from America) as if they are the
only persons living in this world (including YOU).
40. You've seen the ground while inside the lavatory of a train.
41. All your tupperware is stained with food color.
42. You have drinking glasses made of steel.
43. You have mastered the art of bargaining in shopping.
44. You have really enjoyed reading this mail and forward it to as many
Indians as possible
