sneha priya
New member
Over the past few years, a trend has taken over social media, self-help circles, and even casual conversations—positivity. While staying positive is generally a great mindset to have, it can become emotionally exhausting when it’s pushed too far. That’s where the concept of toxic positivity comes in—a feel-good attitude that, instead of helping, can actually do more harm than good.
I’ve often wondered what toxic positivity really means. Is it ignoring your flaws in the name of self-love? Is it accepting everything blindly just to appear kind or unbothered? From where I stand, positivity feels like an umbrella term that’s been stretched thin. Sometimes, calling everything “good” doesn’t fix anything—it just hides the hurt.
WHERE IT SHOWS UP IN EVERYDAY LIFE
Like many harmful things, toxic positivity disguises itself as self-care. It sneaks in through motivational posts, lifestyle content, and especially social media. Online, there’s a massive “positivity market” that tells us:
• “Nothing is ever that bad.”
• “Grief makes you stronger.”
• “Everything happens for a reason.”
But sometimes, taking the rose-colored glasses off is what really helps. Sometimes, accepting defeat helps. Breaking down helps. Being sad helps.
Positivity is a great trait, sure—but it’s also important to pause and ask:
Am I truly being optimistic, or am I just in denial because that’s what the world expects?
You’ll find toxic positivity in casual conversations, social media captions, and even in our own self-talk. We say things like
• “I shouldn’t complain; others have it worse.”
• “Everything happens for a reason.”
• “You just need to think positively.”
Though well-intentioned, these responses can come off as dismissive. They often make people feel like their feelings are “too much” or not valid enough to express. And when we constantly hide behind a smile, it can start to feel lonely and exhausting.
~
WHY IT'S HARMFUL
Positivity, sometimes in an unhealthy manner, often leads to emotional suppression. We find it difficult to validate our own feelings; feeling sad feels like a chore, almost like a crime or a burden, when it's not supposed to be that way. We are supposed to feel every feeling and emotion, not just the happy ones; that’s what makes us humans—the complex beings that we are. When people are told to “just be happy,” they often stop expressing their pain altogether. Over time, this can cause:
• Emotional exhaustion
• Shame for feeling negative
• Struggles with vulnerability or asking for help
Pretending to be okay doesn’t make you strong—it makes you silent. And silence, when forced, can do more damage than honesty ever could.
CONCLUSION
Positivity It has its own place, like any other feeling or emotion does, but positivity isn’t the only valid feeling that we have. We as humans are allowed to cry, crib, be happy, and be angry. Often times healing is confused with staying positive, but healing does not only come from staying positive or always being happy; healing starts with allowing yourself to feel what you are feeling, and staying positive is also just part of the long road ahead. We don’t always need to fix everything with a smile and plastering a band-aid on the emotions; sometimes “IT’S OKAY NOT TO BE OKAY.”
I’ve often wondered what toxic positivity really means. Is it ignoring your flaws in the name of self-love? Is it accepting everything blindly just to appear kind or unbothered? From where I stand, positivity feels like an umbrella term that’s been stretched thin. Sometimes, calling everything “good” doesn’t fix anything—it just hides the hurt.
WHERE IT SHOWS UP IN EVERYDAY LIFE
Like many harmful things, toxic positivity disguises itself as self-care. It sneaks in through motivational posts, lifestyle content, and especially social media. Online, there’s a massive “positivity market” that tells us:
• “Nothing is ever that bad.”
• “Grief makes you stronger.”
• “Everything happens for a reason.”
But sometimes, taking the rose-colored glasses off is what really helps. Sometimes, accepting defeat helps. Breaking down helps. Being sad helps.
Positivity is a great trait, sure—but it’s also important to pause and ask:
Am I truly being optimistic, or am I just in denial because that’s what the world expects?
You’ll find toxic positivity in casual conversations, social media captions, and even in our own self-talk. We say things like
• “I shouldn’t complain; others have it worse.”
• “Everything happens for a reason.”
• “You just need to think positively.”
Though well-intentioned, these responses can come off as dismissive. They often make people feel like their feelings are “too much” or not valid enough to express. And when we constantly hide behind a smile, it can start to feel lonely and exhausting.
~
WHY IT'S HARMFUL
Positivity, sometimes in an unhealthy manner, often leads to emotional suppression. We find it difficult to validate our own feelings; feeling sad feels like a chore, almost like a crime or a burden, when it's not supposed to be that way. We are supposed to feel every feeling and emotion, not just the happy ones; that’s what makes us humans—the complex beings that we are. When people are told to “just be happy,” they often stop expressing their pain altogether. Over time, this can cause:
• Emotional exhaustion
• Shame for feeling negative
• Struggles with vulnerability or asking for help
Pretending to be okay doesn’t make you strong—it makes you silent. And silence, when forced, can do more damage than honesty ever could.
CONCLUSION
Positivity It has its own place, like any other feeling or emotion does, but positivity isn’t the only valid feeling that we have. We as humans are allowed to cry, crib, be happy, and be angry. Often times healing is confused with staying positive, but healing does not only come from staying positive or always being happy; healing starts with allowing yourself to feel what you are feeling, and staying positive is also just part of the long road ahead. We don’t always need to fix everything with a smile and plastering a band-aid on the emotions; sometimes “IT’S OKAY NOT TO BE OKAY.”