To Manage a Conflict Within Yourself - "Core Process"
It's often in the trying that we find solace, not in getting the best solution. The following steps will help you in this regard.
1. Name the conflict, or identify the issue, including what you want that you aren't getting. Consider:
a. Writing your thoughts down to come to a conclusion.
b. Talk to someone, including asking them to help you summarize the conflict in 5
sentences or less.
2. Get perspective by discussing the issue with your friend or by putting it down in writing. Consider:
a. How important is this issue?
b. Does the issue seem worse because you're tired, angry at something else, etc.?
c. What's your role in this issue?
3. Pick at least one thing you can do about the conflict.
a. Identify at least three courses of action.
b. For each course, write at least three pros and cons.
c. Select an action - if there is no clear course of action, pick the alternative that
will not hurt, or be least hurtful, to yourself and others.
d. Briefly discuss that course of action with a friend.
4. Then do something.
a. Wait at least a day before you do anything about the conflict. This gives you
a cooling off period.
b. Then take an action.
c. Have in your own mind, a date when you will act again if you see no clear
improvement.
It's often in the trying that we find solace, not in getting the best solution. The following steps will help you in this regard.
1. Name the conflict, or identify the issue, including what you want that you aren't getting. Consider:
a. Writing your thoughts down to come to a conclusion.
b. Talk to someone, including asking them to help you summarize the conflict in 5
sentences or less.
2. Get perspective by discussing the issue with your friend or by putting it down in writing. Consider:
a. How important is this issue?
b. Does the issue seem worse because you're tired, angry at something else, etc.?
c. What's your role in this issue?
3. Pick at least one thing you can do about the conflict.
a. Identify at least three courses of action.
b. For each course, write at least three pros and cons.
c. Select an action - if there is no clear course of action, pick the alternative that
will not hurt, or be least hurtful, to yourself and others.
d. Briefly discuss that course of action with a friend.
4. Then do something.
a. Wait at least a day before you do anything about the conflict. This gives you
a cooling off period.
b. Then take an action.
c. Have in your own mind, a date when you will act again if you see no clear
improvement.