The Overthinking Dilemma

We all are the greatest inventions of God. We are humans and why are we different from other animals? Because we can think! Thinking has been the most important quality given to every human being. We can think and so we can talk, we can talk so we can express, we can express so we can understand each other so very well. Isn’t it so beautiful just to think that we have been given this ability? But thinking can sometimes be tricky and I hope you all agree on that, don’t you? We are scientists! Some of us may not be great researchers, scholars, or mathematicians. But we surely are scientists because we all have experimented a lot with our thoughts.

Thinking and overthinking are two very different things. Everything in excess can be dangerous right? And so overthinking is dangerous. It is torture. To be locked in your mind with a constant array of discommoding thoughts is hell.

The brain is tricky, to stop thinking about something, you have to think about not thinking about it in an attempt to think about something else. It is despairing. I am perhaps a chronic over thinker. I say so because I do it almost every day. But I have learned and I am still learning how to get out of my head and settle my mind of these thought.

Have you ever wondered why do we overthink so much?

The answer is simple. We overthink because we want answers. We want answers to everything that is happening around us.

Why did she say what she said? Maybe she doesn’t like me. Why does she not like me? Am I not good enough? Yes, maybe I am not good for her. I am always like that, just a ‘good for nothing’ person. Did I make her angry? Shall I say sorry? Oh! But I did that last time. Why should I always say sorry first. She has so much of ego.. and the list is long….

When we are so desperate for answers we hunt them everywhere. And if we fail to find them we overthink endless thoughts. Now the question arises, why are we so desperate to seek answers? Because we want certainty and we like being in control. In control of our emotions, our relations, our ideas and ourselves. We want things as per our will and wish. When we overthink we go through all possible outcomes of an event to determine what can really happen in that given situation.

Overthinking happens when we are afraid. Afraid of things that we don’t want to happen. And that’s why we seek for answers. To have certainty and assurance, that nothing will go wrong and all is going to be ok.

Fear is a seed of a treacherous tree. We were not born with fear, it came upon us either through imparted lesson, life experience or trauma. Unfortunately, many of us still have branches of fear living inside us. Things happen to us in childhood, relationships, friendships and in jobs and the ugly part of the experiences latch on to us so tight, the thoughts about these past experiences surface like settled poison oozing through the brain in a single moment of “thinking too much”.

We think and think so much that we create destructive patterns in our heads and these patterns are an unending vicious circle which is impossible to escape. The more we overthink, the more fear we invite in and the more unsettling our thoughts become.

All this leads to nothing but destruction of mental peace…
 
I absolutely agree with agree with everything written in this piece. One usually overthinks a few things here and there but soon that turns into a habit. Then without one realizing it becomes a part of your routine. Overthinking then takes over our peace of mind and self confidence.
Like for example tomorrow I wear my favourite outfit and go for a conference where I am one of speakers but I do not know anyone there and everyone is new to me. Suddenly I see someone looking at me weirdly and there my brain clicks and goes into overthinking mode. Then I start overthinking right from the time I saw that outifit in the shop all they way to deciding to wear it today and this makes me lose focus over the actual reason I am there.
So now not only have I forgotten my purpose but now I am doubting myself because of an absolute stranger. Here I have given that stranger the power to make me doubt and distract myself. This leads to nothing but my downfall because nobody is going to pity me for overthinking and messing up my talk where as they will judge me for what I have put forward.
So one must think but not overthink to the extent that you lose your sense of judgment and give others the power to control the decisions you make in YOUR life.
 
While everyone overthinks a few things once in a while, chronic over-thinkers spend most of their waking time ruminating, which puts pressure on themselves. They then mistake that pressure to be stress.People who overthink consistently run commentaries in their heads, criticising and picking apart what they said and did yesterday, terrified that they look bad — and fretting about a terrible future that might await them
 
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