Self Control
Self-control is the ability to make choices about how one behaves and acts rather than relying on impulses. Instead of acting on instinct or immediate impulse, individuals - with self-control pause and evaluate a situation and the consequences that may result from their behavior.
By exercising self-control, you can learn to make appropriate decisions and choose behaviors that will be more likely to have positive outcomes.
"Self-control is critical for getting along with other people. It's thinking before acting, like looking before crossing the street. Self-control prevents impulsive behavior that may have dangerous or negative consequences."
Dharma, Swadharma and Detachment
DHARMA:
Dharma is the law of right living, the observance of which secures the double object of happiness in your own life and also the happiness in others life. It stands for all those ideals, purposes, influences, institutions, and the ways of life and conduct that shape the character and evolution of man both as an individual and as a member of the society. The openly spirit, righteousness (godliness), and fearlessness are the three divine elements of Dharma given explained below:
Dharma is spirit (or evolves from spirit) in Indian ethos. The inclusion of dharma is like rediscovering a vacant upstair room in one’s heat chamber. ‘Do right thing (‘Dharman Chara), do good, be good and the whole chamber of our heart shines with Light of Consciousness’. In dharma, not mere action but rightness is given great emphasis.
Dharma stresses fearlessness. Divine touch is enough to convert difficulties into opportunities. Of course one should know the truth about oneself. Dharma is the ‘inner law of one’s life’, the moment we are unconscious or ignore that inner law, our life is paralyzed. We feel isolated. Our degeneration is sure. No wonder we feel missing and incomplete. Dharma is ethics and spirituality combined. Follow your Dharma and it will protect you or stand by you. One has to comply with his own Dharma. Nobody has ever violated Dharma without ultimately courting disaster. Each one has his/ her own dharma.
Dharma Of Management/ Organization
Each organization and management is considered by Indian ethos as a living entity, having heart, soul and Dharma. The traits of dharma or integrity, e.g. Courage, self discipline, goodness, righteousness and all other essential and ethical values constitute the character of management / organization just as they are of the individual character. They must follow their own dharma (collective heart/soul), otherwise pay the price. A soul less company has no life. The spirit is the root or ultimate source of all values and character, which are the invaluable assets of the credibility and goodwill of individuals, organization and management.
SWADHARMA:
Gita emphasizes that Swadharma (one’s duty based on one’s swabhava – inclination and aptitude – on the work that falls to one’s lot by virtue of one’s placement in society) should be carried on for the general welfare of society and as worship of Divine, as our offering to god. This call to work in the true Yajna spirit is an exhortation to support and actively co-operate in the Divine’s evolutionary design and to live with the mother earth, safeguarding her grand ecological balance.
results are an inevitable consequence of wrong Karma.
DETACHMENT: Detachment is the:
Ability to allow people, places, or things the freedom to be themselves. Giving another person "the space'' to be him or herself. Disengaging from an over-enmeshed or dependent relationship with people. Willingness to accept that you cannot change or control a person, place, or thing. Developing and maintaining of a safe, emotional distance from someone whom you have previously given a lot of power to affect your emotional outlook on life. Ability to maintain an emotional bond of love, concern, and caring without the negative results of rescuing, enabling, fixing, or controlling. Ability to exercise emotional self-protection and prevention so as not to experience greater emotional devastation from having hung on beyond a reasonable and rational point.
Ability to allow people to be who they "really are'' rather than who you "want them to be.'' Ability to avoid being hurt, abused, taken advantage of by people who in the past have been overly dependent or enmeshed with you.
What are the negative effects not detaching?
If you are unable to detach from people, places, or things, then you:
Will have people, places, or things, which become over-dependent on you. Run the risk of being manipulated to do things for people, at places, or with things, which you do not really want to do. Can become an obsessive ``fix it'' who needs to fix everything you perceive to be imperfect.
Will most probably become powerless in the face of the demands of the people, places, or things that you have given the power to control you. Will be blind to the reality that the people, places, or things, which control you, are the uncontrollable and unchangeable you need to let go of if you are to become a fully healthy, coping individual. Might become caught up with your idealistic need to make everything perfect for people, places, or things important to you even if it means your own life becomes unhealthy.
Run the risk of becoming out of control of yourself and experience greater low self-esteem as a result. Run the risk of losing your autonomy and independence and derive your value or worth solely from the unhealthy relationship you continue in with the unhealthy person, place, or thing.
Self-control is the ability to make choices about how one behaves and acts rather than relying on impulses. Instead of acting on instinct or immediate impulse, individuals - with self-control pause and evaluate a situation and the consequences that may result from their behavior.
By exercising self-control, you can learn to make appropriate decisions and choose behaviors that will be more likely to have positive outcomes.
"Self-control is critical for getting along with other people. It's thinking before acting, like looking before crossing the street. Self-control prevents impulsive behavior that may have dangerous or negative consequences."
Dharma, Swadharma and Detachment
DHARMA:
Dharma is the law of right living, the observance of which secures the double object of happiness in your own life and also the happiness in others life. It stands for all those ideals, purposes, influences, institutions, and the ways of life and conduct that shape the character and evolution of man both as an individual and as a member of the society. The openly spirit, righteousness (godliness), and fearlessness are the three divine elements of Dharma given explained below:
Dharma is spirit (or evolves from spirit) in Indian ethos. The inclusion of dharma is like rediscovering a vacant upstair room in one’s heat chamber. ‘Do right thing (‘Dharman Chara), do good, be good and the whole chamber of our heart shines with Light of Consciousness’. In dharma, not mere action but rightness is given great emphasis.
Dharma stresses fearlessness. Divine touch is enough to convert difficulties into opportunities. Of course one should know the truth about oneself. Dharma is the ‘inner law of one’s life’, the moment we are unconscious or ignore that inner law, our life is paralyzed. We feel isolated. Our degeneration is sure. No wonder we feel missing and incomplete. Dharma is ethics and spirituality combined. Follow your Dharma and it will protect you or stand by you. One has to comply with his own Dharma. Nobody has ever violated Dharma without ultimately courting disaster. Each one has his/ her own dharma.
Dharma Of Management/ Organization
Each organization and management is considered by Indian ethos as a living entity, having heart, soul and Dharma. The traits of dharma or integrity, e.g. Courage, self discipline, goodness, righteousness and all other essential and ethical values constitute the character of management / organization just as they are of the individual character. They must follow their own dharma (collective heart/soul), otherwise pay the price. A soul less company has no life. The spirit is the root or ultimate source of all values and character, which are the invaluable assets of the credibility and goodwill of individuals, organization and management.
SWADHARMA:
Gita emphasizes that Swadharma (one’s duty based on one’s swabhava – inclination and aptitude – on the work that falls to one’s lot by virtue of one’s placement in society) should be carried on for the general welfare of society and as worship of Divine, as our offering to god. This call to work in the true Yajna spirit is an exhortation to support and actively co-operate in the Divine’s evolutionary design and to live with the mother earth, safeguarding her grand ecological balance.
results are an inevitable consequence of wrong Karma.
DETACHMENT: Detachment is the:
Ability to allow people, places, or things the freedom to be themselves. Giving another person "the space'' to be him or herself. Disengaging from an over-enmeshed or dependent relationship with people. Willingness to accept that you cannot change or control a person, place, or thing. Developing and maintaining of a safe, emotional distance from someone whom you have previously given a lot of power to affect your emotional outlook on life. Ability to maintain an emotional bond of love, concern, and caring without the negative results of rescuing, enabling, fixing, or controlling. Ability to exercise emotional self-protection and prevention so as not to experience greater emotional devastation from having hung on beyond a reasonable and rational point.
Ability to allow people to be who they "really are'' rather than who you "want them to be.'' Ability to avoid being hurt, abused, taken advantage of by people who in the past have been overly dependent or enmeshed with you.
What are the negative effects not detaching?
If you are unable to detach from people, places, or things, then you:
Will have people, places, or things, which become over-dependent on you. Run the risk of being manipulated to do things for people, at places, or with things, which you do not really want to do. Can become an obsessive ``fix it'' who needs to fix everything you perceive to be imperfect.
Will most probably become powerless in the face of the demands of the people, places, or things that you have given the power to control you. Will be blind to the reality that the people, places, or things, which control you, are the uncontrollable and unchangeable you need to let go of if you are to become a fully healthy, coping individual. Might become caught up with your idealistic need to make everything perfect for people, places, or things important to you even if it means your own life becomes unhealthy.
Run the risk of becoming out of control of yourself and experience greater low self-esteem as a result. Run the risk of losing your autonomy and independence and derive your value or worth solely from the unhealthy relationship you continue in with the unhealthy person, place, or thing.