QUIT SMOKING

Why Do I Smoke? ​

Most smokers spend countless hours during their smoking careers trying to satisfactorily answer this most perplexing question. Typically, answers they come up with are that they smoke because they are unhappy, unsatisfied, nervous, bored, anxious, lonely, tired or just frustrated without their cigarettes. Other reasons often quoted are that cigarettes keep them thin, make them better able to think, or that they are more sociable while smoking. Some claim that they smoke to celebrate the joyful times of life. Food, drink, fun and games, and even sex all seem to lose their appeal without an accompanying cigarette. After hearing all of these wonderful qualities attributed to cigarette smoking, I find myself amazed that millions and millions of earth's inhabitants have successfully given up smoking.

What in the world is wrong with these ex-smokers? I can understand people who never smoked. They never knew or believed all of these wonderful benefits derived from smoking. What you never had you'll never miss. But these ex-smokers, having given up such a marvelous chemical addiction with so many benefits, must be crazy.

The fact is ex-smokers are not crazy. To the contrary, it was their ability to be rational which enabled them to successfully break free from cigarettes. They had the foresight to put themselves through the pain and agony encountered during the initial withdrawal from the nicotine addiction. It is both a powerful physical and psychological addiction which creates many irrational beliefs as defense mechanisms in order to perpetuate the smoking behavior. Most of the reasons mentioned above of why smokers claim they smoke are such drug induced beliefs.

All ex-smokers should be applauded for their great accomplishment in overcoming the many obstacles created by their addiction. Encountering the initial quitting process creates a state of emotional insecurity and self doubt. Will they ever be able to survive in our complicated world without their cigarettes? Once they become totally free of the grip which cigarettes exert upon them, they will be able to get a clear perspective of how many misconceptions they had about the benefits they thought they derived from smoking. Being drug free after years of enslavement brings a sense of relief and accomplishment that the smoker never anticipated. To their pleasant surprise, they discover the marvelous fact that there is life after smoking. It is a healthier, calmer and more pleasant life. They now have a choice as to whether or not they ever wish to smoke again. If they look honestly and objectively at the advantages and disadvantages, the logical choice is to remain ex-smokers.

Unfortunately, some don't remember all of the consequences associated with their now arrested dependency, but only recall the infrequent good times they believe they had with their cigarettes. They think that they could once again enjoy just a few cigarettes. What must be understood by all ex-smokers is that they only have two options. They can smoke nothing or they can smoke at their previous level of consumption. There is no in-between. They are wasting their time contemplating how nice it would be to be an occasional social smoker. They can never again have that luxury.

All ex-smokers must consider both options. Then if they choose to smoke, all they need do is take their first cigarette and again become trapped in the nicotine addiction. If they choose to remain free, all they need is to follow the simple practice - NEVER TAKE ANOTHER PUFF!
 
How would you deal with

the following situations? ​



Your 2-year-old is having a temper tantrum because he wants a new toy. Would you;

Leave him alone until he calmed down
Give into his demands
Give him a tranquilizer
Your 7-year-old is anxious about next week's Little League tryouts. Would you;

Assure him that he can do it
Practice with him and tell him to try his best
Give him a valium every three hours until the game
Your 14-year-old is crushed when she is not asked to the sophomore dance. Would you;

Fix her up with one of your friend's children
Tell her to go anyway
Give her cocaine to pick up her spirits
Your 15-year-old is self-conscious about being 5 pounds overweight. Would you;

Cook lower calorie meals
Enroll her in a diet or exercise program
Put her on appetite suppressants

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All of these young people are experiencing what adults would consider "growing pains." A little time, patience and positive reassuring will help them overcome all of these difficult situations.

The fact is, as long as anyone continues to develop physically, emotionally, intellectually, professionally or spiritually, they too will experience growing pains. Adults are prone to hurt, pain, sadness, depression and anxiety just as children are. These feelings are all necessary if we wish to continue to develop our minds and bodies. Without such growth, we would not experience happiness, satisfaction, contentment or purpose to their full extent.

The third choice in each of the above situations was, of course, ridiculous. We would not subject our children to chemical hazards to overcome such trivial problems. However, as adults we are fully capable of practicing such dangerous behaviors for our own relief. Take cigarette smoking as an example.

When you were still a smoker, how many times would you say you had to smoke because you were lonely and sad without your friendly cigarettes? How many times did you say that you had to smoke because of all the stress in your life? How many times did you tell yourself that many social activities were just not fun without your cigarettes? How many times did you say that you would gain too much weight if you quit smoking? All you were saying was that you needed nicotine, a drug, to overcome everyday life problems.

It was not until you were off cigarettes that you realized you could overcome such problems without smoking, and in most cases more effectively than when you were a smoker. Once you had quit you realized just how much a source of stress dependence upon nicotine was to you. You were caught by a socially unacceptable and physically deadly addiction and were quite often aware of it. This is when you had the desire to give them up, but thought the pain of quitting too great to even attempt it.

Even today, you probably still desire an occasional cigarette. It may be in a stressful situation, at a party after a few drinks, or at a time when you find yourself alone with nothing better to do. The fact is, there is nothing worse you can do than take a cigarette. One cigarette will not help you over the problem. In reality, it will create a new problem, a disastrous situation of a revived and reinforced addiction, with all the physical dangers and the dirty means of delivery that come with it.

So, next time you have the desire for a cigarette, sit back and take a few moments to reflect upon what you are setting yourself up for. Do you need that drug? Do you want that addiction? If not, simply remember - NEVER TAKE ANOTHER PUFF!
 
Remember, smoking cannot solve problems of daily living. No matter what the problem, there is a more effective way of solving it than smoking. In fact, a smoker's health risks are a real problem that can only be solved if they - NEVER TAKE ANOTHER PUFF!​
 
I've Smoked for So Long and So Much,

What is the Use in Quitting Now? ​





On the third day of a recent clinic, a woman participant in her late fifties who had been off smoking for just over 48 hours asked one of those questions that I have heard hundreds of times in past programs. “I have smoked so long and so heavily, what good will quitting smoking do for me now?” A few minutes of explaining the bargaining phase people go through when they are initially quitting smoking seemed to clarify why she was having such thoughts rationalizing why she didn't really need to quit.

A few minutes later, she told me a story about her personal family history, one that quite simply gave a better answer to her original query than I could ever have come up with. “My father was a chain smoker,” she said. “He quit when he was 60 because he had a heart attack. Never smoked one after that. Even though he was a heart attack victim, after he quit smoking he felt better than he had felt in years. Much more endurance, greater vitality. He lived to the age of 95, bright and alert to the end.”

On the sixth night I called her to see if she had made it through the weekend all right. “I feel so bad,” she replied. “I had a terrible evening last night and I had a major problem dealing with a client at work this morning. I was just so upset from lack of sleep and frustration, I finally broke down and took a cigarette. I've been beating myself up for it ever since. I am more depressed now than I was before. Why am I beating myself up so, and what should I do now?”

I said she had two options, quit right then and face a potential full three day withdrawal or go back to full fledged smoking all over again. If she didn't make a decision, her body would automatically make the decision for her. Again she expressed the sentiment that she was beating herself up so badly and wanted me to explain why she was so upset with herself. She just couldn't believe that one cigarette could be so important to be making such a big issue.

A few minutes later, she told me the story of how her husband had once been off for three years. One day while they were in the car together, for one reason or another he bummed a cigarette from her. She raised the issue with him of what good would a cigarette be after all that time, but he convinced her it was no big deal. What right did she have to protest anyway, she thought, she was a chain smoker herself. He finally got his way. He never stopped smoking after that day. Four years later she got a call at work that her husband had collapsed at her mother-in-law's home. By the time they got to him it was too late. He had died of a sudden and totally unexpected heart attack. She has little doubt that his last four years of smoking was a major contributing factor to his sudden and premature death.

So why was she now making such a big deal out of a cigarette? Once again, her own personal history was giving her a more powerful answer than I could ever have expressed. One cigarette, in a car a number of years earlier helped to end her husband's life. If he had known the implication that one cigarette would have had, he would never have considered the thought for more than a second. In retrospect, she had the opportunity to look back to that day and realize how a fleeting urge followed by poor judgment helped to end or shorten her husband's life.

With the kind of personal experiences she had witnessed associated with smoking, it is quite easy to see how she could be so hard on herself for what occurred earlier that day. She witnessed how smoking diminished the quality of her father's life and almost brought on a premature death. Equally important, she saw how quitting smoking vastly improved his health and general feeling of well being. She also witnessed how her husband's momentary lapse of judgment resulted in her suffering such a grave loss just a few years earlier. If he had the opportunity, he would surely have cursed the day he lit just one. She had the benefit of hindsight, which now was haunting her because she had made the same mistake that day he had made just a few years earlier. He never got the chance to quit again. She still had time to make a decision - and she was asking me what she should do now. Again, I feel her own personal experience and the immediate emotional reactions she was now experiencing were giving a more powerful answer to her question than I could. If she listened to her heart, I am sure it was telling her to - NEVER TAKE ANOTHER PUFF!
 
The Power of Advertising ​

The father sat reflecting on how much joy his two sons brought to him during the year. He decided to buy them both the present of their choice this holiday season. When he asked his older boy what he would like, the son replied, “Oh boy, I would like so many things. Maybe a bicycle, or new skis, or skin diving equipment. I wish I would have them all, but any one would make me happy.”

That was fine with the father, he now had some good choices. Next, he turned to his younger son, who was only eight years old. The boy envied his brother for all the games he could play and all of the sports he could do so well. When asked what he would like, he made one simple request. “I would like a box of Tampax Tampons.” The father was shocked, “What in the world do you want a box of tampons for?” he demanded angrily. The poor boy, not knowing he had said something wrong, answered, “With Tampax, you can swim, ski, sky dive, horseback ride and play any sport you want.”

This humorous story illustrates a serious point. Advertising promises can influence our desires for material products. The more naive we are, the more effective advertising will be. The claims ads promote are often misleading or exaggerations of the truth. No product abuses the truth more than cigarettes.

Just as the young boy in our story expected great things from this marvelous unknown product, smokers have great confidence in the emotional benefits brought from inhaling burning weeds. To tell a smoker the truth about his cigarettes while he still is in the midst of the smoker's psyche results in a state of denial and defiance. He cannot believe his cigarettes, his friends and allies, would in any way hurt him. They help him over trauma, they help him enjoy life to the fullest. Think of all the things he does with his cigarettes. He wakes in the morning to them, works with them, plays with them, eats and drinks, goes to the bathroom, reads the paper, watches television, socializes with all of his friends and even has them on his mind during sex. If any person hung around him that much, it would drive him crazy. But not his friendly cigarettes - they enhance everything. The advertisements even say they do.

The advertisements do claim this, but the claim is not true. He does not smoke during all of these activities because he chooses to. He has to. Smokers are drug addicts. They cannot enjoy natural pleasures, no matter how good they are, until their serum nicotine level is raised. They are controlled by this product. Cigarettes are not friends, they are lousy acquaintances. Once you get rid of them, stay clear. Yes, they may call to you, and the ads may strike out at you. But you know the truth about cigarettes. Don't let any smoker who is feeling inferior, or tobacco company or advertising agency which wishes to maintain its vast wealth at the expense of your life convince you of anything different. Life can be longer as a ex-smoker, and life is better as a ex-smoker. Consider this whenever external or internal forces call out to you. Remember this and - NEVER TAKE ANOTHER PUFF
 
A Safer Way to Smoke​





Smokers are always looking for ways to reduce the health risks of smoking. Unfortunately, most techniques used to reduce the risk don't work, and, in many cases, may actually increase the dangers of smoking.

Probably the most popular method of risk reduction is switching to low tar and nicotine cigarettes. If people only smoked to perpetuate a simple habit, low tar and nicotine cigarettes would probably reduce the dangers of smoking. Unfortunately, the necessity to smoke is not continuance of a habit but rather maintenance of an addiction. Switching to a low tar and nicotine cigarette makes it difficult for a smoker to reach and maintain his normal required level of nicotine. The smoker will probably develop some sort of compensatory smoking pattern. Compensatory behaviors include smoking more cigarettes, smoking them further down, inhaling deeper, or holding the smoke down longer.

By doing one or a combination of these behaviors, the smoker will reach similar levels of tar and nicotine in his system as when he smoked his old brand, but, in the process, he may increase the amount of other potent poisons beyond what was delivered by his old cigarettes. Low tar and nicotine cigarettes often have higher concentrations of other dangerous poisons. By increasing consumption, substantially greater amounts of these poisons are taken into the system, thereby increasing his risk of diseases associated with these chemicals. One such poison, found in higher quantities in many low tar and nicotine cigarettes, is carbon monoxide. Carbon monoxide is one of the major factors contributing to the high incidence of heart and circulatory diseases in smokers. Also, to give flavor to the low tar and nicotine cigarettes, many additional additives and flavor enhancers are used. Tobacco companies are not required to disclose what the chemical additives are, but the medical community suspects that many of these additives are carcinogenic (cancer producing) and may actually be increasing the smoker's risk of tobacco-related cancers.

The filter at the end of cigarettes also may make a difference in how much poison a smoker takes in. Some filters are more effective than others, but, again, a smoker will generally alter the way he smokes rendering many of the protective actions of the filters useless. Some cigarettes have holes inserted around the perimeter of the filter permitting more air to be inhaled with the tars and gasses of the cigarette. Theoretically, this lowers the amount of the actual tobacco smoke being inhaled. But, a smoker will normally find these cigarettes difficult to inhale and cannot get the amount of nicotine necessary to satisfy the craving. In response, he may smoke more or may discover an even more innovative way to interfere with the filter's protective action. Many times a smoker will learn how to put the cigarettes a little deeper into his mouth and seal his lips around the ventilation holes, thus decreasing the filter's efficiency. I have even encountered smokers in clinics who put tape around these holes because they found the cigarette easier to inhale and generally tasted better. In the process, they inactivated the semiprotective mechanism of the filter. Their attempts at making their smoking safer were simply an inconvenience and a waste of time. Filters could be developed that would take out all of the nicotine, but, unfortunately, in order to satisfy the addiction, most smokers would give themselves a hernia trying to inhale.

One last method of risk reduction worth mentioning is vitamin supplements. The body's ability to utilize Vitamin C is impaired by smoking. When some smokers learn this, they start taking supplemental Vitamin C. But vitamin C acidifies the urine, resulting in the body accelerating the excretion rate of nicotine. In response, the smoker may smoke extra cigarettes. In the process, he will probably destroy the extra vitamin C and increase his exposure to all of the poisonous chemicals found in tobacco smoke.

Almost every method of making smoking safer is a farce. There is only one way to totally reduce the deadly effects of smoking, and that is, simply, not to smoke. Only then will your chances of diseases such as heart disease, cancer and emphysema be reduced to the level of nonsmokers. And to keep your risk at these low levels, only one method is necessary— NEVER TAKE ANOTHER PUFF!
 
Are You Smoking More

and Enjoying it Less?​
​





This creative slogan was once used by a cigarette advertiser trying to entice smokers of other brands to switch to their product. The slogan was a brilliantly conceived advertising tactic. Almost every smoker who had indulged for a significant period of time would instantly recognize him or herself in the slogan. He or she may even have tried smoking the other brand to recapture the pleasure and joy of earlier days of smoking. But to his or her dismay, even this cigarette failed to deliver that special feeling once derived from smoking.

Why do cigarettes seem to lose that special appeal for the veteran smoker? Have cigarettes changed so drastically over the years? No, that is not the problem at all. Cigarettes haven't changed, smokers have. For the longer an individual smokes, the more dependent the smoker becomes on his nicotine fix. In his early days of smoking, the smoker derived much pleasure from the pharmacological action of nicotine. It made him feel alert, energetic, or maybe even had a calming, relaxing effect. It helped in studying and in learning. Sometimes it made him feel more mature, confident, and more social. It pretty much did whatever he wanted it to, depending on the circumstances surrounding him while he smoked it. In these early days, he smoked maybe 5 to 10 per day, usually just when he wanted the desired effect.

But gradually, something happens to the smoker. He becomes more dependent on cigarettes. He no longer smokes to solve a problem, to celebrate, or to feel great. He smokes because he NEEDS a cigarette. In essence he smokes because he is a smoker, or, more accurately, a smoke-a-holic. No longer does he get those special smoker highs--now he smokes because not smoking makes him feel withdrawal. Not smoking means feeling nervous, irritable, depressed, angry, afraid, nauseous, or headachy just to mention a few effects. He grasps for a cigarette to alleviate these symptoms, all the time hoping to get that special warm feeling that cigarettes used to give him. But, to his dismay, all that happens is he feels almost normal after smoking a cigarette. And 20 minutes later the whole process starts up again.

Once he quits smoking, life becomes nice again. No longer does he go into withdrawal 20 to 80 times per day. He can go anywhere any time he wishes and not have to worry about whether he will be able to smoke at his needed intervals. When he gets a headache or feels nauseous, he knows he is coming down with an infection, not feeling the way he does every day as a smoker from too much or too little smoking. In comparison to his life as a smoker, he feels great. But then something insidious starts to occur.

He begins to remember the best cigarette he ever had in his life. It may be one he smoked 10, 20 or maybe even 40 years earlier. He remembers that special warm feeling of that wonderful cigarette. If he thinks about it long enough, he may even try to recapture the moment. Unfortunately, however, the moment will recapture him. Once again he will be in the grip of an addiction which will cause him to be smoking more and enjoying less. This time he may not get off. This wonderful cigarette will cost him his freedom, his health and eventually his life. Don't make this mistake when you quit. Remember how cigarettes were the day you stopped, for that will be what they are like the day you go back, no matter how far apart those two days are. Remember the way they were and - NEVER TAKE ANOTHER PUFF!
 
"Quitting Smoking"

A Fate Worse than Death? ​

People sitting in at smoking clinics are amazed at how resistant smokers are to giving up cigarettes. Even smokers will sit and listen to horror stories of other participants in sheer disbelief. Some smokers have had multiple heart attacks, circulatory conditions resulting in amputations, cancers, emphysema and a host of other disabling and deadly diseases. How in the world could these people have continued smoking after all that? Some of these smokers are fully aware that smoking is crippling and killing them, but continue to smoke anyway. A legitimate question asked by any sane smoker or nonsmoker is, “why?”

The answer to such a complex issue is really quite simple. The smoker often has cigarettes so tied into his lifestyle that he feels when he gives up smoking he will give up all activities associated with cigarettes. Considering these activities include almost everything he does from the time he awakes to the time he goes to sleep, life seems like it will not be worth living as an ex-smoker. The smoker is also afraid he will experience the painful withdrawal symptoms from not smoking as long as he deprives himself of cigarettes. Considering all this, quitting smoking creates a greater fear than dying from smoking.

If the smoker were correct in all his assumptions of what life as an ex-smoker were like, then maybe it would not be worth it to quit. But all these assumptions are wrong. There is life after smoking, and withdrawal does not last forever. Trying to convince the smoker of this, though, is quite an uphill battle. These beliefs are deeply ingrained and are conditioned from the false positive effects experienced from cigarettes.

The smoker often feels that he needs a cigarette in order to get out of bed in the morning. Typically, when he awakes he feels a slight headache, tired, irritable, depressed and disoriented. He is under the belief that all people awake feeling this way. He is fortunate though, because he has a way to stop these horrible feelings. He smokes a cigarette or two. Then he begins waking up and feels human again. Once he is awake, he feels he needs cigarettes to give him energy to make it through the day. When he is under stress and nervous, the cigarettes calm him down. Giving up this wonder drug seems ludicrous to him.

But if he quits smoking he will be pleasantly surprised to find out that he will feel better and be able to cope with life more efficiently than when he was a smoker. When he wakes up in the morning, he will feel tremendously better than when he awoke as a smoker. No longer will he drag out of bed feeling horrible. Now he will wake up feeling well rested and refreshed. In general, he will be calmer than when he smoked. Even when under stress, he normally will not experience the panic reactions he used to feel whenever his nicotine level fell below acceptable levels. The belief that cigarettes were needed for energy is one of the most deceptive of all. Almost any ex-smoker will attest that he has more strength, endurance, and energy than he ever did as a smoker. And the fear of prolonged withdrawal also had no merit, for withdrawal symptoms would peak within three days, and totally subside within two weeks.

If any smoker just gives himself the chance to really feel how nice not smoking is, he will no longer have the irrational fears which keeps him maintaining his deadly addiction. He will find life will become simpler, happier, cleaner, and most importantly healthier, than when he was a smoker. His only fear will now be in relapsing to smoking and all he has to do to prevent this is - NEVER TAKE ANOTHER PUFF!
 
Quitting by Gradual Withdrawal​







Quitting by the gradual withdrawal method. I discuss this method quite extensively in my seminars. I always tell how if there is anyone attending who knows a smoker who they really despise they should actively encourage them to follow the gradual withdrawal "cut down" approach. They should call them up every day and tell them to just get rid of one cigarette. Meaning, if they usually smoke 40 a day, just smoke 39 on the first day of the attempt to quit. The next day they should be encouraged to smoke only 38 then 37 the next day and so on. Then the seminar participant should call these people every day to congratulate them and encourage them to continue. I must reemphasize, this should only be done to a smoker you really despise.

You see, most smokers will agree to this approach. It sounds so easy to just smoke one less each day. Thirty-nine cigarettes to a two pack a day smoker seems like nothing. The trick is to convince the person that you are only trying to help them. For the first week or two the one downside is you have to pretend to like the person and you have to talk to them every day. They won’t whine too bad either. When they are down to 30 from 40, they may start to complain a little. You really won’t be having fun yet. When the payoff comes is about three weeks into the scam. Now you've got them to less than half their normal amount. They are in moderate withdrawal all the time.

A month into the approach you’ve got them into pretty major withdrawal. But be persistent. Call them and tell them how great they are doing and how proud you are of them. When they are in their 35th to 39th day, you have pulled off a major coup. This poor person is in peak withdrawal, suffering miserably and having absolutely nothing to show for it. They are no closer to ending withdrawal than the day you started the process. They are in chronic withdrawal, not treating him or herself to one or two a day, but actually depriving him or herself of 35 to 40 per day.

If you want to go in for the kill, when you have them down to zero, tell them don’t worry if things get tough, just take a puff every once in a while. If you can get them to fall for this, taking one puff every third day, they will remain in withdrawal forever. Did I mention you really should despise this person to do this to them? It is probably the cruelest practical joke that you could ever pull on anyone. You will undercut their chance to quit, make them suffer immeasurably and likely they will at some point throw in the towel, return to smoking, have such fear of quitting because of what they went through cutting down, that they will continue to smoke until it kills them. Like I said, you better really despise this person.

Hopefully there is no one you despise that much to do this to them. I hope nobody despises themselves enough to do this to themselves. Quitting cold turkey may be hard but quitting by this withdrawal technique is virtually impossible. If you have a choice between hard and impossible, go for hard. You will have something to show at the end of a hard process, but nothing but misery at the end of an impossible approach. Quit cold and in 72 hours it eases up. Cut down and it will basically get progressively worse for weeks, months, or years if you let it.

I should mention, this is not a new technique. It has been around for decades. Talk to every long-term ex-smoker you know. Try to find one person who successfully used the cut down approach, gradually reducing to eventual zero over weeks or months. You will be hard pressed to find even one person who fits this bill. One other perspective that should help you see the flaw in the approach. Look at people here who had once quit for months or years and then relapsed. One day, after such a long time period, they take a drag and are smoking again. If one puff can do this after years or decades, guess what it will do after days or hours of being smoke free. It puts the smoker back to square one. All that any ex-smoker has to do to avoid relapse or chronic withdrawal is to - NEVER TAKE ANOTHER PUFF
 

I Can't Quit or I Won't Quit ​




"I don't want to be called on during this clinic. I am quitting smoking, but I don't want to talk about it. Please don't call on me." This request was made by a lady enrolling in one of my clinics over 20 years ago. I said sure. I won't make you talk, but if you feel you would like to interject at anytime, please don't hesitate to. At that she got mad and said, "Maybe I am not making myself clear-I don't want to talk! If you make me talk I will get up and walk out of this room. If you look at me with an inquisitive look on your face, I am leaving! Am I making myself clear?" I was a little shocked by the strength of her statement but I told her I would honor her request. I hoped that during the program she would change her mind and would share her experiences with the group and me but in all honesty, I wasn't counting on it.

There were about 20 other participants in the program. Overall, it was a good group with the exception of two women who sat in back of the room and gabbed constantly. Other participants would turn around and tell the two to be quiet. They would stop talking for a few seconds and then start right up again with just as much enthusiasm as before. Sometimes, when other people were sharing sad, personal experiences, they would be laughing at some humorous story they had shared with each other, totally ignorant of the surrounding happenings.

On the third day of the clinic, a major breakthrough occurred. The two gossips were partying away as usual. There was one young woman, probably early twenties who asked if she could talk first because she had to leave. The two gossips in back still were not listening and kept up with their private conversation. The young woman who had to leave said, "I can't stay, I had a horrible tragedy in my family today, my brother was killed in an accident." Fighting back emotions she continued. "I wasn't even supposed to come tonight, I am supposed to be helping my family making funeral arrangements. But I knew I had to stop by if I was going to continue to not smoke." She had only been off two days now. But not smoking was important to her.

The group members felt terrible, but were so proud of her, it made what happened in their day seem so trivial. All except the two ladies in the back of the room. They actually heard none of what was happening. When the young woman was telling how close she and her brother were, the two gossips actually broke out laughing. They weren't laughing at the story, they were laughing at something totally different not even aware of what was being discussed in the room. Anyway, the young woman who lost her brother shortly after that excused herself to go back to her family. She said she would keep in touch and thanked the group for all of their support.

A few minutes later I was then relating some story to the group, when all of a sudden the lady who requested anonymity arose and spoke. "Excuse me Joel," she said loudly, interrupting me in the middle of the story. "I wasn't going to say anything this whole program. The first day I told Joel not to call on me. I told him I would walk out if I had to talk. I told him I would leave if he tried to make me talk. I didn't want to burden anyone else with my problems. But today I feel I cannot keep quiet any longer. I must tell my story." The room was quiet.

"I have terminal lung cancer. I am going to die within two months. I am here to quit smoking. I want to make it clear that I am not kidding myself into thinking that if I quit I will save my life. It is too late for me. I am going to die and there is not a damn thing I can do about it. But I am going to quit smoking."

"You may wonder why I am quitting if I am going to die anyway. Well, I have my reasons. When my children were small, they always pestered me about my smoking. I told them over and over to leave me alone, that I wanted to stop but couldn't. I said it so often they stopped begging. But now my children are in their twenties and thirties, and two of them smoke. When I found out about my cancer, I begged them to stop. They replied to me, with pained expressions on their faces, that they want to stop but they can't. I know where they learned that, and I am mad at myself for it. So I am stopping to show them I was wrong. It wasn't that I couldn't stop smoking- it was that I wouldn't! I am off two days now, and I know I will not have another cigarette. I don't know if this will make anybody stop, but I had to prove to my children and to myself that I could quit smoking. And if I could quit, they could quit, anybody could quit."

"I enrolled in the clinic to pick up any tips that would make quitting a little easier and because I was real curious about how people who really were taught the dangers of smoking would react. If I knew then what I know now- well, anyway, I have sat and listened to all of you closely. I feel for each and every one of you and I pray you all make it." Even though I haven't said a word to anyone, I feel close to all of you. Your sharing has helped me. As I said, I wasn't going to talk. But today I have to. Let me tell you why."

Then she turned to the two ladies in the back of the room, who actually had stayed quiet during this interlude. Suddenly she flared up, "The only reason I am speaking up now is because you two BITCHES are driving me crazy. You are partying in the back while everyone else is sharing with each other, trying to help save each other's lives. She then related what the young woman had said about her brother's death and how they were laughing at the time, totally unaware of the story. "Will you both do me a favor, just get the hell out of here! Go out and smoke, drop dead for all we care, you are learning and contributing nothing here." They sat there stunned. I had to calm the group down a little, actually quite bit, the atmosphere was quite charged with all that had happened. I kept the two ladies there, and needless to say, that was the last of the gabbing from the back of the room for the entire two-week clinic.

All the people who were there that night were successful at the end of the program. At graduation, the two ladies who had earlier talked only to each other were applauded by all, even the lady with lung cancer. All was forgiven. The girl who lost her brother also came for the graduation, also smoke free and proud. And the lady with lung cancer proudly accepted her diploma and introduced one of her children. He had stopped smoking for over a week at that time. Actually, when the lady with cancer was sharing her story with us, she had not told her family yet that she had even quit smoking.

It was a few days later, when she was off a week that she told her son. He, totally amazed said to her that if she could quit smoking, he knew he could and stopped at that moment. She beamed with joy. Six weeks later she succumbed to the cancer. I found out when I called her home just to see how she was doing and got her son on the line. He thanked me for helping her quit at the end. He told me how proud she was that she had quit and how proud he was of her, and how happy she was that he had quit also. He said, "She never went back to smoking, and I will not either." In the end, they had both given each other a wonderful gift. He was proud her last breath was smoke free- she NEVER TOOK ANOTHER PUFF!

Epilog: I normally say you can't quit for someone else, it has to be for yourself. This incident flies in the face of this comment to some degree. The lady with lung cancer was quitting smoking to save her children from her fate, to some degree undo the lesson that she had taught years earlier. The lesson that she "could not stop." It was that at the time she "would not stop." There is a big difference between these two statements. It holds true for all smokers. The lady in this story proved years later she could quit too late to save her life, but not too late to save her sons. Next time you hear yourself or someone else say, I cannot stop, understand it is not true. You can quit. Anyone can quit. The trick is not waiting until it is too late
 
"Why Did I Start Smoking?
Why Did I Quit?"
It is pretty funny. People often try to reflect on when and why they started smoking as if thinking that it would answer the daunting question of why they continue to smoke. In reality, the reason you start and the reasons you continue are not the same.

Some people start because of peer pressure. But in society today, if peer pressure were going to be the influencing factor, it would be making people quit smoking , not continue to smoke.

Some people took up smoking to look older and more mature. How many people in their 30's, 40's, 50's or 60's or beyond want to do everything in their power to look older than they already do?

Others take up smoking out of a sense of rebellion. Their parents, teachers, doctors and other adults told them they couldn't smoke. So to show them who was in control, they smoked anyway. Well, how many 60-year-old smokers are there who are smoking today so that they can snub their nose at their 80 to 90 year old parents saying, "you see, you still can't tell me not to smoke."

People start for a variety of reasons, but they continue for just one – they became drug addicts, the drug--nicotine. It is interesting though because the same thing happens when the smoker quits. The initial reason that people quit smoking often become secondary in importance to reasons they eventually stay off.

Some people quit to make others happy, or because of non-smoking policies issued at a place of employment. But after quitting, they find they feel better than ever, are calmer, have more energy, have more money, overall are happier and in more control of their own life. Their new reasons may have little bearing to their initial quit reason. In many ways they are better reasons and more lasting. Or, some people who quit for medical risks alone start to realize that not smoking is just a nicer way of life. Sometimes the quality of life becomes more important to them than the concept of length of life.

Whatever your initial reason for quitting was, it is still valid. On top of that there are numerous benefits you may have noticed and some you haven't even thought of yet which are still to be noticed. Some you will never think of but are real anyway. Keep focused on every good reason not to smoke. This becomes your ammunition to stay the course, and to ride out those annoying craves or thoughts that can pop out of nowhere.

Whether or not you ever accurately remember why you started to smoke, as long as you remember why you quit and why you desire to stay free, you will keep your resolve strong enough to NEVER TAKE ANOTHER PUFF!
 
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The Law of Addiction - ​


The law of addiction states, "administration of a drug to an addict will cause re-establishment of chemical dependence upon the addictive substance." Yes, just one powerful puff, dip or chew and you'll be faced with again enduring up to 72 hours of nicotine detox, by far the most challenging period of recovery. We’re simply not that strong. Adherence to a simple restatement of the law of addiction guarantees success to all. No nicotine just one day at a time ... "Never Take Another Puff, Dip or Chew."
 
Be Honest With You ​
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Nicotine dependency is every bit as real and permanent as alcoholism. An external chemical has caused your brain reward pathways to teach your deep inner mind that regular nicotine feedings are your #1 priority in life, more important than family, friends, eating, hostile weather, your health or your life. Your brain has grown millions of extra nicotinic receptors in at least eleven different regions. It is wired to function on your current level of daily nicotine intake (tolerance). Why play games? Treating a true addiction as though it were some "nasty little habit" capable of manipulation, change or control is a recipe for relapse. There is no such thing as "just one." Recovery truly is an all or nothing proposition.
 
Calm Your Deep Inner Mind - The primitive subconscious mind (the lizard brain) falsely sees ending all nicotine use as though committing suicide or starving ourselves to death. It does not think, plan or plot against us but simply reacts to the years of input it has received from the mind’s priorities teacher, the brain's dopamine reward pathways, pathways long ago taken hostage by nicotine. Use your conscious thinking mind to calm and reassure the lizard brain, especially in the fleeting seconds before dosing off into sleep. They are precious communication moments where the two draw near.
 
Measuring Victory -

Forget about quitting "forever." Like attempting the seemingly impossible task of eating an entire cow or steer, it's the biggest psychological bite imaginable. Instead, work hard at adopting a more manageable "one steak at a time," or better yet "one day at a time," recovery philosophy for measuring victory. If you insist on seeing success only in terms of quitting forever then on which day will you celebrate? Who is coming to that party? Why not celebrate every day of healing and freedom.
 
Recovery Phases –

(1) Physical nicotine withdrawal peaks by day three and is substantially complete within 10 days to two weeks. Once you stop using all nicotine, the amount remaining in your bloodstream will be cut by half every two hours. Within 72 hours, 100% of nicotine and 90% of the chemicals nicotine breaks down into will have passed from your body. During this period it is normal to feel de-sensitized. But your brain is working hard to restore natural neuro-chemical sensitivities. Be patient.


(2) Subconscious smoking trigger/cue reconditioning normally peaks during the first week, also about day 3. All but remote, infrequent, holiday or seasonal triggers are extinguished within a month.

(3) The final phase of recovery, conscious thought fixation, is the least intense yet longest. Although at times nearly impossible to see and appreciate, with each passing day thoughts of wanting to use nicotine will gradually grow fewer, shorter in duration and generally less intense. Within a few months they will become the exception not the rule, as you’ll gradually start to develop an expectation of going entire days without once "thinking" about wanting to use nicotine
 
Withdrawal Symptoms -​


As strange as it sounds, withdrawal symptoms are good not bad, for they are true signs of healing. Within reason it is fairly safe to blame most of what you will feel during the first three days on quitting. But after that you need to listen closely to your body and if concerned get seen and evaluated. If you must, blame them on where you have been, not where you are going.
 
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