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No one tolerates you more than your mother. Perhaps that's why even grown-ups go 'Mummy', years after they've gone their own way, living independent lives. It's quite silly to think a single day's honour and celebration, on occasions like Mother's Day is enough to reciprocate years of rearing, playing a critical role in shaping your life.
Think about it, the first relationship you probably developed is with your mum - you photocopied her mannerisms, her gentleness, and if you're a man, you unlearned all of that among friends who all wanted to pretend they were macho. It's probably also the longest lasting relationship in the world, full of conflict, anger and disappointment. Yet, always worth it all.
If you want to make Mother's Day memorable, here are the Love Doctor's Four Simple Tips on how to improve or strengthen the relationship with your mom.
Focus on the Positive
It's not about the fact that she stumbled across your diary and berated you for it, but more about the fact that ten days later, she no longer holds anything you wrote against you. Struggles and challenges are part of any relationship. Instead of focusing on what goes wrong or your struggles, shift your attention and amplify or recognise what is right (positive/good) about you and your mother. Make a list of what you love about your mom and tell her.
Respect Differences
Despite the fact that your mother might be your second best friend, you've got to realise that she was born at least two decades before you. A different time period, with different values and ways of living. You may not agree on everything, even the important things in life. The fact is, you don't have to. Acknowledge and respect each other's thoughts and feelings. For those who have wasted years being angry or fighting with their mothers, it's the perfect excuse to pick up the phone and apologise or forgive her. Move on. Parents often, without knowing, pass on their qualities to their children and you might find yourself behaving exactly the way you didn't want your mother to as you grow older
[CENTER][IMG]http://cms.mumbaimirror.com/portalfiles/1/9/200705/Image/130507/u3.jpg
No one tolerates you more than your mother. Perhaps that's why even grown-ups go 'Mummy', years after they've gone their own way, living independent lives. It's quite silly to think a single day's honour and celebration, on occasions like Mother's Day is enough to reciprocate years of rearing, playing a critical role in shaping your life.
Think about it, the first relationship you probably developed is with your mum - you photocopied her mannerisms, her gentleness, and if you're a man, you unlearned all of that among friends who all wanted to pretend they were macho. It's probably also the longest lasting relationship in the world, full of conflict, anger and disappointment. Yet, always worth it all.
If you want to make Mother's Day memorable, here are the Love Doctor's Four Simple Tips on how to improve or strengthen the relationship with your mom.
Focus on the Positive
It's not about the fact that she stumbled across your diary and berated you for it, but more about the fact that ten days later, she no longer holds anything you wrote against you. Struggles and challenges are part of any relationship. Instead of focusing on what goes wrong or your struggles, shift your attention and amplify or recognise what is right (positive/good) about you and your mother. Make a list of what you love about your mom and tell her.
Respect Differences
Despite the fact that your mother might be your second best friend, you've got to realise that she was born at least two decades before you. A different time period, with different values and ways of living. You may not agree on everything, even the important things in life. The fact is, you don't have to. Acknowledge and respect each other's thoughts and feelings. For those who have wasted years being angry or fighting with their mothers, it's the perfect excuse to pick up the phone and apologise or forgive her. Move on. Parents often, without knowing, pass on their qualities to their children and you might find yourself behaving exactly the way you didn't want your mother to as you grow older
[CENTER][IMG]http://cms.mumbaimirror.com/portalfiles/1/9/200705/Image/130507/u3.jpg
Boundaries
Respect one another's privacy. Boundaries in what you say and tell your mother (and what she tells you) are okay.
It's all right if your mother does not know when you had your first kiss. Do not look to your mother to be your best friend.
Time
'You don't know what you've got till it's gone,' sang Joni Mitchell and she was right. Often times, we don't spend enough time with our moms. Extended conversations from childhood, about the day at school is often replaced by grunts and tired expressions. Do you know where your mother might go in a crisis? Do you really know what is on her mind? What does she enjoy doing? Strengthening your relationship and opening the lines of communication between you and your mother is possible only when you spend time with her. Be clear about what you mean. Say what you mean. Don't expect your mother to read your mind!
If you expect others to read your mind, it's a sure shot attempt at disappointment. Like any relationship, this one also takes work. Change doesn't occur in one day or week, but over time. And there's no better day to get kicking than Mother's Day.
