Laughter and jokes and fwds and stuff

K

ksurbhi

Banned
money

Where Does the Money Go?
Being accountable for your expenses and also being actively involved in every financial decision you and your family make is very important. Women, in general, tend to leave the financial planning and paper works to their spouses, which in itself is not a bad thing. But when women don't keep track of these important financial data and the responsibility shifts due to some unforeseen or pre-decided situation, then it can become a very tricky situation. So to avoid being clueless about your finances, here is a simple checklist that you can refer to.

* Keep track of the monthly expenditures.
* Ensure that your expenditure does not exceed your earnings or a pre-decided budget.
* File all the important bills and documents like water/electricity bills, mortgage papers, tax return certificates, loans etc.
* Keep track of your bank account/credit card statements.
* Keep track of your investments, their maturity dates etc.
* Consult each other before making any investment or expensive purchase.
* Be very careful with your credit card and do not use it unless extremely important.
* Ensure shopping is always planned and not at the spur of the moment.
* Keep a separate account for ready cash in case of an emergency.
* Ensure that you don't give away all your earnings but keep some for yourself for that rainy day.
* Don't keep lending money to friends.
* Don't keep taking loans from your friends
* Plan finances for the year ahead keeping in mind up coming weddings, travels, holidays etc for which you will require funds.
* Keep yourself updated about the latest savings and investment schemes.
* Ensure that your children do not take your money for granted.
* Encourage your children to save money starting with a piggy bank.
* Do not give in to any and every demand your children make.
 
spirit n self

Spirit and Self
Take a good look at yourself in the mirror. Do you see a happy person or someone who is constantly juggling responsibilities that were once a joy but now seem like burdens? Don't let the myriad decisions you need to make in life droop your once soaring spirit. Live life to the fullest while keeping your objectives always in sight. Take a quick look at the pointers below to see how many of these seemingly routine but vital things you associate yourself with.

* You stand up for yourself when required.
* You don't always say yes when you want to say no.
* You compromise where you have to.
* You and your partner evaluate, in detail, every major decision whether it is regarding your home, career, starting a family etc.
* You and your partner share responsibilities for running the household.
* You and your partner set aside some time for each other no matter how busy your day is.
* You and your partner trust each other.
* You and your partner never go to sleep angry. You resolve all issues first.
* You and your partner remember to kiss each other goodnight.
* You hug your child before putting him/her to bed.
* You listen to your child and partner about his/her day.
* You and your partner share equal responsibility in the upbringing of your child.
* You regularly keep in touch with your parents and siblings, even after marriage or however busy life gets.
* Your partner supports you in your decision to financially or otherwise assist your parents.
* You consider yourself as part of your husband's family and treat them as you would your own.
* You are content with your life and don't waste your energy envying others who you assume are leading a better life than you.

If most of your answers to the above are not in the positive, then maybe its time for you to analyse where the problem lies. Take the first step and initiate the changes you want in your life, for though you cannot change others, you can change yourself and your attitude.
Life is beautiful
Getting married and having a husband, kids and in-laws to look after, should not let you neglect your own parents and siblings. Life is a journey- enjoy it with all your loved ones. While there are relationships to treasure on the personal front, your professional life is equally important and should be just as vibrant. Here are a few tips to bring out the best in you, on both these fronts.
You and your Parents

* Call your parents regularly. Maybe you can set a weekly schedule to do so. No matter how old you get, you will always be a child to your parents.
* If your husband's parents don't live with you, ensure that you are in touch with them regularly as well so they don't feel ignored.
* Teach your children to make cards for their grandparents on their birthday or for festivals. It's a special feeling when parents receive a hand written note from their grandchildren!
* Respect your parents' age and experience whatever your age maybe. Remember that they have been here a lot longer than you!

You and your Partner

* Talk to each other.
* Curb that jealousy.
* Learn to trust each other.
* Never let a third party negatively influence your relationship with your partner.
* Never hide financial difficulties from each other.
* Avoid keeping pent-up ill feelings about the other. Talk it out.
* Avoid bringing up old issues when you are in a fight.
* Get into a daily ritual like never leaving the house without a hug or never going to sleep without a good night kiss.

You and your Child

* Ensure that you spend time with your child and listen to him.
* Take interest in your child's school and after school activities.
* Know your child's friends, teachers and those he is close to.
* Ensure that your child has memorised your telephone/mobile number and the residential address.
* Teach your child the importance of money.
* Teach your child to respect everyone irrespective of age, decent and religion.
* Avoid leaving your child alone or trusting others completely with your child.

You and your Career

* Don't be a doormat whether at home or at work. Learn to speak up for yourself.
* Approach your manager or the HR personnel if something disturbs you at office. They are there to help you.
* Don't shy away from seeking help from the members of your extended family in helping you around the house, like taking care of your child, shopping for groceries etc.
* Enquire in detail regarding all the options available before deciding which crèche to send your child to.
* Think twice before you decide to take a break from your career. Discuss with your husband and don't allow any undue feelings of guilt about neglecting your family, influence your decision.
 
beauty tips

Beauty & Beyond
Every morning is a rush. You get up as soon as the alarm rings, don't even get enough time to sit and read the newspaper along with your cup of coffee or tea. A thousands things to do- iron clothes needed for the day, cook breakfast, dress up for office/college/drop the kids off to school, ensure that lunches are packed for yourself and the family, struggle through the rest of the day, finally making it to bed at night. Come morning, and it's the same story again.


In this daily bustle of life, are you sure you are not ignoring the very thing that needs your attention the
most- your body? A healthy you is the beginning of a better life with a healthy family, a satisfying career and meaningful relationships. Below is a checklist that every woman must follow.

* Complete seven hours of sleep every night.
* Remember to apply moisturiser on your face, neck, hands and legs before you go to sleep.
* Manage to squeeze in 15 minutes during the day to practice any exercise routine that you find suitable like yoga, jogging, walking, stretching etc.
* Avoid drinking too much coffee or smoking excessively when faced with stress at office or at home.
* Try home/natural remedies instead of chemical-based products for your body.
* Ensure that you don't use any cosmetics/ beauty products that are over a year old.
* Treat yourself to a facial to remove the tan and grime from your face every month or two.
* Remember to oil your hair regularly and condition it at least once a week.
* Avoid excessive colouring, straightening, perming or using harsh chemicals on your hair.
* Visit the dentist at least once a year for general oral hygiene.
* Treat yourself to a manicure and pedicure at least once in two months.
* If you are above the age of 30, ensure that you go for mammography once a year for early detection of breast cancer.
* If you are above the age of 40, ensure that you go for a pap smear test once a year for early detection of uterine and cervical cancer.
* If you are above the age of 50, ensure that you get enough Calcium supplements to avoid Osteoporosis.

If you are not already following a lifestyle that includes the list above, then it is very important that you begin to consciously plan your routine and make time for yourself.


Beauty Vitamins for a Beautiful You
Do you know which vitamins and nutrients can make your skin supple and look at its best? The list might seem confusing but it's only a matter of a few easy pointers.

* Vitamin A helps in maintaining and repairing skin tissue, tooth development and bone growth. It also helps reduce lines and wrinkles, acne and psoriasis. It can be found in tomatoes, watermelons, peaches, oranges, carrots, spinach, peas, almonds and others.
* Vitamin B helps retain skin moisture and makes your hair healthy and bouncy. It contains biotin, a nutrient that forms the basis of skin, nail and hair cells in our body. Vitamin B is found in foods like bananas, eggs, oatmeal and rice.
* Vitamins C and E help offset the effects of prolonged exposure to sun and pollution, which can lead to photodamage, wrinkles, deteriorated skin texture and even skin cancer. Your diet should include plenty of these two vitamins as they help reduce the damage caused by free radicals, a harmful by-product of sunlight, smoke and pollution. These free radicals diminish collagen and elastin, causing wrinkles and blotched skin. Vitamin C is found in citrus fruits and vegetables like bell peppers, cauliflower and leafy greens. Vitamin E can be found in vegetable oils, nuts, seeds, olives, spinach and asparagus.
* Your food should also include Vitamin K as it helps in clotting blood as well as in reducing dark circles under the eye. Food rich in the vitamin includes spinach, broccoli, cashew nuts, chestnuts and others.

Perfect Pedicure for Pretty Feet
Soak your feet for 20 minutes in a basin filled with warm water and some bath salts (you can also use ordinary table salt if bath salts are not available) or a capful of hair shampoo. After 20 minutes, scrub feet with a foot scrubber, wash with plain water and dry. Massage feet with Peppermint oil.

For cracks, mix three spoons of honey with a teaspoonful of sesame oil in it. Warm it a little and apply on the affected areas. Repeat daily for flawless feet.

Can't give up those stilettos? No Sweat. Just keep in mind these guidelines while buying those high heels you love.


* Ensure that your high heels have a gradual slope so that your foot does not slide forward while you are walking or standing, as this will put more pressure on the toes. Narrow heels with a snug fit can remedy this issue.
* Wear open-toe stilettos to relieve pressure on the big toe.
* Ensure that you have cushioned foot inserts in your stilettos to avoid pain and formation of corns on the balls of your feet.

Smart Remedy for Puffy Eyes

* Put refrigerated cucumber slices on your eyes for 10 minutes.
* Put cotton wads soaked in ice water on eyes for 10 minutes.
* Super Fast remedy- Put two teaspoons in the freezer. In the morning put the curved portion of the frozen spoon on your eyes for 5 minutes.

10-Minute Tips for Tan Removal

* Apply tomato juice on the tanned areas like face, hands, feet etc. Repeat everyday for best results.
* Don't throw away used lemon peals. Rub them on the tanned areas including elbows. Repeat everyday for best results.
* Another simple remedy is to mash Guava leaves with raw turmeric. To this paste mix with the juice of half a lime. Apply on tanned skin and leave for 10 minutes.

For Skin That Shines

* Besan Pack- Mix two tablespoons of besan (gram flour) with a pinch of turmeric powder and enough milk cream to make a smooth paste. Apply it on face and wash when the pack is dry.
* Tomato and Lime Juice - Mix the juice of a tomato with a spoon of lime juice and apply it on your skin. After 15 minutes, scrub the area with a tablespoon of sugar with a few drops of water, until the sugar granules dissolve. This will help peel off dry skin and remove tan as well.
* Sandalwood and Honey- Mix equal amounts of honey and sandalwood and apply on face. Leave for 20 minutes and wash off to get soft and glowing skin.
* Lemons and Eggs- Whip an egg white well and store it in the freezer for about 15 minutes. Add to it half a lemon juice and half a grated tomato. Apply this on the skin and wash after it has dried.

Beauty Sleep
Beauty sleep is not just 'beauty' sleep, it is also a requirement for the body as it is during this mode that it works hard to rejuvenate cells and produce vital enzymes and hormones which help keep you ticking all day long. Here are some simple tips on how to get those forty winks with ease.

* Avoid drinking caffeinated products like coffee or Colas before you sleep.
* Do not smoke just before you head to bed.
* Don't plan your next day while you lie in bed as too many thoughts will keep you awake. Plan your day the next morning.
* Lack of fresh air could be one reason why you end up tossing and turning in bed trying to get sleep. Turn on the fan instead of the air conditioner and open the windows to ensure a steady supply of fresh cool air.
* Exercise regularly to increase blood flow. However, not close to your bed time as this will make you alert instead of helping you sleep.
* Fix a regular time for bed that gives you atleast seven hours of sleep and maintain the routine so that your body gets accustomed to it.
 
Beauty & Beyond

Beauty & Beyond
Every morning is a rush. You get up as soon as the alarm rings, don't even get enough time to sit and read the newspaper along with your cup of coffee or tea. A thousands things to do- iron clothes needed for the day, cook breakfast, dress up for office/college/drop the kids off to school, ensure that lunches are packed for yourself and the family, struggle through the rest of the day, finally making it to bed at night. Come morning, and it's the same story again.


In this daily bustle of life, are you sure you are not ignoring the very thing that needs your attention the
most- your body? A healthy you is the beginning of a better life with a healthy family, a satisfying career and meaningful relationships. Below is a checklist that every woman must follow.

* Complete seven hours of sleep every night.
* Remember to apply moisturiser on your face, neck, hands and legs before you go to sleep.
* Manage to squeeze in 15 minutes during the day to practice any exercise routine that you find suitable like yoga, jogging, walking, stretching etc.
* Avoid drinking too much coffee or smoking excessively when faced with stress at office or at home.
* Try home/natural remedies instead of chemical-based products for your body.
* Ensure that you don't use any cosmetics/ beauty products that are over a year old.
* Treat yourself to a facial to remove the tan and grime from your face every month or two.
* Remember to oil your hair regularly and condition it at least once a week.
* Avoid excessive colouring, straightening, perming or using harsh chemicals on your hair.
* Visit the dentist at least once a year for general oral hygiene.
* Treat yourself to a manicure and pedicure at least once in two months.
* If you are above the age of 30, ensure that you go for mammography once a year for early detection of breast cancer.
* If you are above the age of 40, ensure that you go for a pap smear test once a year for early detection of uterine and cervical cancer.
* If you are above the age of 50, ensure that you get enough Calcium supplements to avoid Osteoporosis.

If you are not already following a lifestyle that includes the list above, then it is very important that you begin to consciously plan your routine and make time for yourself.


Beauty Vitamins for a Beautiful You
Do you know which vitamins and nutrients can make your skin supple and look at its best? The list might seem confusing but it's only a matter of a few easy pointers.

* Vitamin A helps in maintaining and repairing skin tissue, tooth development and bone growth. It also helps reduce lines and wrinkles, acne and psoriasis. It can be found in tomatoes, watermelons, peaches, oranges, carrots, spinach, peas, almonds and others.
* Vitamin B helps retain skin moisture and makes your hair healthy and bouncy. It contains biotin, a nutrient that forms the basis of skin, nail and hair cells in our body. Vitamin B is found in foods like bananas, eggs, oatmeal and rice.
* Vitamins C and E help offset the effects of prolonged exposure to sun and pollution, which can lead to photodamage, wrinkles, deteriorated skin texture and even skin cancer. Your diet should include plenty of these two vitamins as they help reduce the damage caused by free radicals, a harmful by-product of sunlight, smoke and pollution. These free radicals diminish collagen and elastin, causing wrinkles and blotched skin. Vitamin C is found in citrus fruits and vegetables like bell peppers, cauliflower and leafy greens. Vitamin E can be found in vegetable oils, nuts, seeds, olives, spinach and asparagus.
* Your food should also include Vitamin K as it helps in clotting blood as well as in reducing dark circles under the eye. Food rich in the vitamin includes spinach, broccoli, cashew nuts, chestnuts and others.

Perfect Pedicure for Pretty Feet
Soak your feet for 20 minutes in a basin filled with warm water and some bath salts (you can also use ordinary table salt if bath salts are not available) or a capful of hair shampoo. After 20 minutes, scrub feet with a foot scrubber, wash with plain water and dry. Massage feet with Peppermint oil.

For cracks, mix three spoons of honey with a teaspoonful of sesame oil in it. Warm it a little and apply on the affected areas. Repeat daily for flawless feet.

Can't give up those stilettos? No Sweat. Just keep in mind these guidelines while buying those high heels you love.


* Ensure that your high heels have a gradual slope so that your foot does not slide forward while you are walking or standing, as this will put more pressure on the toes. Narrow heels with a snug fit can remedy this issue.
* Wear open-toe stilettos to relieve pressure on the big toe.
* Ensure that you have cushioned foot inserts in your stilettos to avoid pain and formation of corns on the balls of your feet.

Smart Remedy for Puffy Eyes

* Put refrigerated cucumber slices on your eyes for 10 minutes.
* Put cotton wads soaked in ice water on eyes for 10 minutes.
* Super Fast remedy- Put two teaspoons in the freezer. In the morning put the curved portion of the frozen spoon on your eyes for 5 minutes.

10-Minute Tips for Tan Removal

* Apply tomato juice on the tanned areas like face, hands, feet etc. Repeat everyday for best results.
* Don't throw away used lemon peals. Rub them on the tanned areas including elbows. Repeat everyday for best results.
* Another simple remedy is to mash Guava leaves with raw turmeric. To this paste mix with the juice of half a lime. Apply on tanned skin and leave for 10 minutes.

For Skin That Shines

* Besan Pack- Mix two tablespoons of besan (gram flour) with a pinch of turmeric powder and enough milk cream to make a smooth paste. Apply it on face and wash when the pack is dry.
* Tomato and Lime Juice - Mix the juice of a tomato with a spoon of lime juice and apply it on your skin. After 15 minutes, scrub the area with a tablespoon of sugar with a few drops of water, until the sugar granules dissolve. This will help peel off dry skin and remove tan as well.
* Sandalwood and Honey- Mix equal amounts of honey and sandalwood and apply on face. Leave for 20 minutes and wash off to get soft and glowing skin.
* Lemons and Eggs- Whip an egg white well and store it in the freezer for about 15 minutes. Add to it half a lemon juice and half a grated tomato. Apply this on the skin and wash after it has dried.

Beauty Sleep
Beauty sleep is not just 'beauty' sleep, it is also a requirement for the body as it is during this mode that it works hard to rejuvenate cells and produce vital enzymes and hormones which help keep you ticking all day long. Here are some simple tips on how to get those forty winks with ease.

* Avoid drinking caffeinated products like coffee or Colas before you sleep.
* Do not smoke just before you head to bed.
* Don't plan your next day while you lie in bed as too many thoughts will keep you awake. Plan your day the next morning.
* Lack of fresh air could be one reason why you end up tossing and turning in bed trying to get sleep. Turn on the fan instead of the air conditioner and open the windows to ensure a steady supply of fresh cool air.
* Exercise regularly to increase blood flow. However, not close to your bed time as this will make you alert instead of helping you sleep.
* Fix a regular time for bed that gives you atleast seven hours of sleep and maintain the routine so that your body gets accustomed to it.
 
tax joke

1) Qus. : What are you doing?
> Ans. : Business.
> Tax : PAY PROFESSIONAL TAX!
>
> 2) Qus. : What are you doing in Business?
> Ans. : Selling the Goods.
> Tax : PAY SALES TAX!!
>
> 3) Qus. : From where are you getting Goods?
> Ans. : From other State/Abroad
> Tax : PAY CENTRAL SALES TAX, CUSTOM DUTY & OCTROI!
>
> 4) Qus. : What are you getting in Selling Goods?
> Ans. : Profit.
> Tax : PAY INCOME TAX!
>
> 5) Qus. : How do you distribute profit ?
> Ans : By way of dividend
> Tax : Pay dividend distribution Tax
>
> 6) Qus. : Where you Manufacturing the Goods?
> Ans. : Factory.
> Tax : PAY EXCISE DUTY!
>
> 7) Qus. : Do you have Office / Warehouse/ Factory?
> Ans. : Yes
> Tax : PAY MUNICIPAL & FIRE TAX!
>
> 8) Qus. : Do you have Staff?
> Ans. : Yes
> Tax : PAY STAFF PROFESSIONAL TAX!
>
> 9) Qus. : Doing business in Millions?
> Ans. : Yes
> Tax : PAY TURNOVER TAX!
> Ans : No
> Tax : Then pay Minimum Alternate Tax
>
> 10) Qus. : Are you taking out over 25,000 Cash from Bank?
> Ans. : Yes, for Salary.
> Tax : PAY CASH HANDLING TAX!
>
> 11) Qus.: Where are you taking your client for Lunch & Dinner?
> Ans. : Hotel
> Tax : PAY FOOD & ENTERTAINMENT TAX!
>
> 12) Qus.: Are you going Out of Station for Business?
> Ans. : Yes
> Tax : PAY FRINGE BENEFIT TAX!
>
> 13) Qus.: Have you taken or given any Service/s?
> Ans. : Yes
> Tax : PAY SERVICE TAX!
>
> 14) Qus.: How come you got such a Big Amount?
> Ans. : Gift on birthday.
> Tax : PAY GIFT TAX!
>
> 15) Qus.: Do you have any Wealth?
> Ans. : Yes
> Tax : PAY WEALTH TAX!
>
> 16) Qus.: To reduce Tension, for entertainment, where are you going?
> Ans. : Cinema or Resort.
> Tax : PAY ENTERTAINMENT TAX!
>
> 17) Qus.: Have you purchased House?
> Ans. : Yes
> Tax : PAY STAMP DUTY & REGISTRATION FEE !
>
> 18) Qus.: How you Travel?
> Ans. : Bus
> Tax : PAY SURCHARGE!
>
> 19) Qus.: Any Additional Tax?
> Ans. : Yes
> Tax : PAY EDUCATIONAL, ADDITIONAL EDUCATIONAL & SURCHARGE ON ALL THE
> CENTRAL GOVT.'s TAX !!!
>
> 20) Qus.: Delayed any time Paying Any Tax?
> Ans. : Yes
> Tax : PAY INTEREST & PENALTY!
>
> 21) INDIAN :: can i die now??
> Ans :: wait we are about to launch the funeral tax!!!
> TAX STRUCTURE IN INDIA
 
joke

When girls don't put out!!
This was written by a guy ... it's pretty damn smart.

Girls -- Please have a sense of humor!

I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart.

FOR EXAMPLE:

One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, 'I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me.'

I said, 'WHAT??!! What was that?!'

So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear...

'You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man.'

She responded to my puzzled look by saying, 'Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?'

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.

The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take, so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said, 'Lets get a pair for each outfit.'

We went on to the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you... she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis.

I think I threw her for a loop when I said, 'That's fine, honey.' She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation, she finally said, 'I think this is all
dear, let's go to the cashier.'

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, 'No honey, I don't feel like it.'

Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled, 'WHAT?'

I then said, 'Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman.'

And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, 'Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?'

Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either....but at least that bitch knows I'm smarter than her.
 
joke

HOW TO RECRUIT THE RIGHT PERSON FOR THE JOB?


Put about 100 bricks in some
Particular order in a closed
Room with an
Open window.






Then send 2 or 3 candidates in
The room and close the door.




Leave them alone and come back
After 6 hours and then analyze
The situation.







If they are counting the
Bricks.
Put them in the accounts
Department.









If they are recounting them..
Put them in auditing .














If they have messed up the
Whole place with the bricks.
Put them in engineering.












If they are arranging the
Bricks in some strange order.
Put them in planning.









If they are throwing the
Bricks at each other.
Put them in operations ..














If they are sleeping.
Put them in security.














If they have broken the bricks
Into pieces.
Put them in information
Technology.










If they are sitting idle.
Put them in human resources.









If they say they have tried
Different combinations, yet
Not a brick has
Been moved. Put them in sales.














If they have already left for
The day.
Put them in marketing.










If they are staring out of the
Window.
Put them on strategic
Planning.









And then last but not least.
If they are talking to each
Other and not a single brick
Has been
Moved.
Congratulate them and put them
In top management.
 
joke

A man boards a Jet Airways airplane Delhi to Mumbai and takes his seat.

As he settles in, he glances up and sees an extremely attractive woman
boarding the plane.

He soon realizes she's heading straight towards his seat.

Lo and behold, she takes the seat right beside his.

Eager to strike up a conversation, he asks "Business trip or vacation?"

She turns, smiles, and says, "Business. I'm going to the annual
Sexologists' Convention."

He swallows hard, thinks to himself, here is the most gorgeous woman he
has ever seen, sitting next to him, and she's a sexologist!

Struggling to contain his excitement and maintain his composure, he
calmly asks, "What's your business role at this convention?"

"Lecturer," she says, "I use my experience to debunk some of the
popular myths about sexuality."

"Really?" he says, swallowing hard. "What m-m-m-myths are those?

"Well," she explains, "one popular myth is that Negro men are the best
endowed when, in fact, it's the Sardar ji who is most likely to possess
that trait.

Another popular myth is that French men are the most sensitive lovers,
when actually it is the Bengali.

However, we have found that the best potential lover in sensuousness is
the Tamilian."

Suddenly, the woman becomes a little uncomfortable and blushes.

"I'm sorry," she says, "I shouldn't be discussing this with you. I
don't even know your name!"

"Venkatraman! " the man blurts. "Venkatraman Mukherjee! But my friends
call me Narinder Singh!"
 
wedding ring

Why should the wedding ring be worn on the fourth finger?
There is a beautiful and convincing explanation given by the Chinese.....

Thumb represents your Parents
Second (Index) finger represents your Siblings
Middle finger represents your-Self
Fourth (Ring) finger represents your Life Partner
& the Last (Little) finger represents your children

Firstly, open your palms (face to face), bend the middle fingers and hold them together - back to back
Secondly, open and hold the remaining three fingers and the thumb - tip to tip
(As shown in the figure below):



Now, try to separate your thumbs (representing the parents)..., they will open, because your parents are not destined to live with you lifelong, and have to leave you sooner or later.

Please join your thumbs as before and separate your Index fingers (representing siblings)...., they will also open, because your brothers and sisters will have their own families and will have to lead their own separate lives.

Now join the Index fingers and separate your Little fingers (representing your children)...., they will open too, because the children also will get married and settle down on their own some day.

Finally, join your Little fingers, and try to separate your Ring fingers (representing your spouse).
You will be surprised to see that you just CANNOT....., because Husband & Wife have to remain together all their lives - through thick and thin!!

Please try this out.............
 
quotes

Different Phases of a man:
After engagement: Superman
After Marriage: Gentleman
After 10 years: Watchman
After 20 years: Doberman
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
There is only one perfect child in the world and every mother has it.
There is only one perfect wife in the world and every neighbor has it
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Prospective husband: Do you have a book called "Man, The Master of Women"?
Sales girl: The fiction department is on the other side, sir.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
The world's thinnest book has only one word written in it:
"Everything" and the book is titled: "What Women Want!"
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
A man who surrenders when he's WRONG, is HONEST.
A man who surrenders when he's NOT SURE, is WISE.
A man who surrenders when he's RIGHT, is a HUSBAND
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Girlfriends r like chocolates, taste good anytime.
Lovers r like PIZZAS, Hot n spicy, eaten frequently.
Husbands r like Dal RICE, eaten when there`s no choice
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Man receives telegram: Wife dead-should be buried or cremated?
Man: Don't take any chances. Burn the body and bury the ash.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Q: Why dogs don't marry?
A: Because they are already leading a dog's life!
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Fact of life: One woman brings you into this world crying & the other
ensures you continue to do so for the rest of your life!
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Q: Why doesn't law permit a man to marry a second woman?
A: Because as per law you cannot be punished twice for the same offence
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
What men want: A woman who can cook, a woman who earns good money, a
woman who loves him & a system to make sure that those 3 women never
meet each other!
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Lady 2 her maid: Oh Kanta, I have reason to suspect that my husband is
having an affair with his secretary."
Kanta : I don't believe it! U r just saying that 2 make me jealous!"
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Man: I want a divorce. My wife hasn't spoken to me in six months.
Lawyer: Better think it over. Wives like that are hard to get!
-------------------------------------------------------
The bride, upon her engagement, went to her mother & said, "I've found
a man just like father!"
Mother replied, "So what do u want from me, sympathy?"
 
India

I am proud to forward this speech...... ........... ......... ....
I am sure you will agree with every suggestion he has made........ .........


*Please read this article by giving 10 minutes from your busy life. Really good.... ** *



* The President of India DR. A. P. J. Abdul Kalam 's Speech in Hyderabad . *



Why is the media here so negative?

Why are we in India so embarrassed to recognize our own strengths, our
achievements? We are such a great nation. We have so many amazing success
stories but we refuse to acknowledge them. Why?

We are the first in milk production.
We are number one in Remote sensing satellites.
We are the second largest producer of wheat.
We are the second largest producer of rice.
Look at Dr. Sudarshan , he has transferred the tribal village into a

self-sustaining, self-driving unit. There are millions of such achievements
but our media is only obsessed in the bad news and failures and disasters. I
was in Tel Aviv once and I was reading the Israeli newspaper. It was the

day
after a lot of attacks and bombardments and deaths had taken place. The
Hamas had struck. But the front page of the newspaper had the picture of a
Jewish gentleman who in five years had transformed his desert into an orchid

and a granary. It was this inspiring picture that everyone woke up to. The
gory details of killings, bombardments, deaths, were inside in the
newspaper, buried among other news.

In India we only read about death, sickness, terrorism, crime. Why are we so

NEGATIVE? Another question: Why are we, as a nation so obsessed with foreign
things? We want foreign T. Vs, we want foreign shirts. We want foreign
technology.

Why this obsession with everything imported. Do we not realize that

self-respect comes with self-reliance? I was in Hyderabad giving this
lecture,
when a 14 year old girl asked me for my autograph. I asked her what her goal
in life is. She replied: I want to live in a developed India . For her,

you and I will have to build this developed India . You must proclaim. India
is not an under-developed nation; it is a highly developed nation. Do you
have 10 minutes? Allow me to come back with a vengeance.


Got 10 minutes for your country? If yes, then read; otherwise, choice is
yours.
YOU say that our government is inefficient.
YOU say that our laws are too old.
YOU say that the municipality does not pick up the garbage.

YOU say that the phones don't work, the railways are a joke,
The airline is the worst in the world, mails never reach their destination.
YOU say that our country has been fed to the dogs and is the absolute pits...


YOU say, say and say. What do YOU do about it?
Take a person on his way to Singapore . Give him a name - YOURS. Give him a
face - YOURS. YOU walk out of the airport and you are at your International
best. In Singapore you don't throw cigarette butts on the roads or eat in

the stores. YOU are as proud of their Underground links as they are. You pay
$5 (approx. Rs. 60) to drive through Orchard Road (equivalent of Mahim
Causeway or Pedder Road) between 5 PM and 8 PM. YOU come back to the parking

lot to punch your parking ticket if you have over stayed in a restaurant or
a shopping mall irrespective of your status identity... In Singapore you
don't say anything, DO YOU? YOU wouldn't dare to eat in public during

Ramadan, in Dubai . YOU would not dare to go out without your head covered
in Jeddah . YOU would not dare to buy an employee of the telephone exchange
in London at 10 pounds ( Rs.650) a month to, 'see to it that my STD and ISD

calls are billed to someone else.'YOU would not dare to speed beyond 55 mph
(88 km/h) in Washington and then tell the traffic cop,
'Jaanta hai main kaun hoon (Do you know who I am?). I am so and so's son.

Take your two bucks and get lost.' YOU wouldn't chuck an empty coconut shell
anywhere other than the garbage pail on the beaches in Australia and New
Zealand .
Why don't YOU spit Paan on the streets of Tokyo ? Why don't YOU use

examination jockeys or buy fake certificates in Boston ??? We are still
talking of the same YOU. YOU who can respect and conform to a foreign system
in other countries but cannot in your own. You who will throw papers and

cigarettes on the road the moment you touch Indian ground. If you can be an
involved and appreciative citizen in an alien country, why cannot you be the
same here in India ?

Once in an interview, the famous Ex-municipal commissioner of Bombay , Mr.

Tinaikar , had a point to make. 'Rich people's dogs are walked on the
streets to leave their affluent droppings all over the place,' he said. 'And
then the same people turn around to criticize and blame the

authorities for inefficiency and dirty pavements. What do they expect the
officers to do? Go down with a broom every time their dog feels the pressure
in his bowels?
In America every dog owner has to clean up after his pet has done the job.

Same in Japan . Will the Indian citizen do that here?' He's right. We go to
the polls to choose a government and after that forfeit all responsibility.
We sit back wanting to be pampered and expect the government to do

everything for us whilst our contribution is totally negative. We expect the
government to clean up but we are not going to stop chucking garbage all
over the place nor are we going to stop to pick a up a stray piece of paper

and throw it in the bin. We expect the railways to provide clean bathrooms
but we are not going to learn the proper use of bathrooms.
We want Indian Airlines and Air India to provide the best of food and
toiletries but we are not going to stop pilfering at the least opportunity.

This applies even to the staff who is known not to pass on the service to
the public. When it comes to burning social issues like those related to
women, dowry, girl child! and others, we make loud drawing room

protestations and continue to do the reverse at home. Our excuse? 'It's the
whole system which has to change, how will it matter if I alone forego my
sons' rights to a dowry.' So who's going to change the system?

What does a system consist of ? Very conveniently for us it consists of our
neighbours, other households, other cities, other communities and the
government. But definitely not me and YOU. When it comes to us actually

making a positive contribution to the system we lock ourselves along with
our families into a safe cocoon and look into the distance at countries far
away and wait for a Mr.Clean to come along & work miracles for us with a

majestic sweep of his hand or we leave the country and run away.
Like lazy cowards hounded by our fears we run to America to bask in their
glory and praise their system. When New York becomes insecure we run to

England . When England experiences unemployment, we take the next flight out
to the Gulf. When the Gulf is war struck, we demand to be rescued and
brought home by the Indian government. Everybody is out to abuse and rape

the country. Nobody thinks of feeding the system. Our conscience is
mortgaged to money.

Dear Indians, The article is highly thought inductive, calls for a great
deal of introspection and pricks one's conscience too.... I am echoing J. F.

Kennedy 's words to his fellow Americans to relate to Indians.....

'ASK WHAT WE CAN DO FOR INDIA
AND DO WHAT HAS TO BE DONE TO MAKE INDIA
WHAT AMERICA AND OTHER WESTERN COUNTRIES ARE TODAY'


Lets do what India needs from us.

Forward this mail to each Indian for a change instead of sending Jokes or
junk mails.

Thank you,

Dr. Abdul Kalaam






















I humbly request you to forward this to every Indian...... ......... ...........
 
joke

After having failed his exam in "Logistics and Organization", a
student goes and confronts his lecturer about it.

Student: "Sir, do you really understand anything about the subject?"

Professor: "Surely I must. Otherwise I would not be a professor!"

Student: "Great, well then I would like to ask you a question. If you
can give me the correct answer, I will accept my mark as is and go. If
you however do not know the answer, I want you give me an "A" for the
exam. "

Professor: "Okay, it's a deal. So what is the question?"

Student: "What is legal, but not logical, logical, but not legal, and
neither logical, nor legal?"

Even after some long and hard consideration, the professor cannot give
the student an answer, and therefore changes his exam mark into an
"A", as agreed.

Afterwards, the professor calls on his best student and asks him the
same question.

He immediately answers: "Sir, you are 63 years old and married to a 25
year old woman, which is legal, but not logical. Your wife has a 18
year old lover, which is logical, but not legal. The fact that you
have given your wife's lover an "A", although he really should have
failed, is neither logical nor legal."

if god puts u on hold !!!!!!!!!!!!! .............. dont hang up
 
salary

olks,

This piece of information
is for sure an eye-opener.

Have a look at this


Salary &
Govt. Concessions for a Member of Parliament (MP)

Monthly Salary
:
12,000

Expense for Constitution per month
: 10,000

Office
expenditure per month
: 14,000

Traveling concession (Rs. 8 per
km)
: 48,000
( eg.For a visit from kerala to Delhi
& return: 6000
km)

Daily DA TA during parliament meets
: 500/day


Charge
for 1 class (A/C) in train:
Free (For any number of times)

(All over
India
)


Charge for Business Class in flights
: Free for 40
trips / year (With wife or P.A.)


Rent for MP hostel at
Delhi
:
Free


Electricity
costs at home
: Free up to 50,000
units


Local phone call charge
: Free up to 1 ,70,000
calls.


TOTAL expense for a MP [having no qualification]
per year
:
32,00,000 [ i.e. 2.66 lakh/month]


TOTAL expense for 5 years
:
1,60,00,000


For 534 MPs, a large number of whom are murderers,
robbers, crooks, tax evaders, land grabbers, goondas, etc. the expense for 5
years :
8,54,40,00,000 (nearly 855 crores)


AND THE PRIME MINISTER
IS ASKING THE HIGHLY QUALIFIED, OUT PERFORMING CEOs TO CUT DOWN THEIR
SALARIES…..


This is how all our tax money is been
swallowed and price hike on our regular commodities.......

And this is
the present condition of our country:
855 crores could make their life
livable !!

Think of the great democracy we
have.............

PLEASE FORWARD THIS MESSAGE TO ALL REAL
CITIZENS
OF
INDIA .

but,
STILL Proud to be INDIAN
i know
hitting a delete button is easier.......bt.......try 2 press fwd
button 2 make people aware of it!
 
facts

Enjoy life!


Ultimate truth
( Uncanny-but true !)

Whenever I find the key to success, someone changes the lock.

To Err is human, to forgive is not a COMPANY policy.

The road to success??.. Is always under construction.


Alcohol doesn't solve any problems, but if you think again, neither does Milk.


In order to get a Loan, you first need to prove that you don't need it.

All the desirable things in life are either illegal, expensive or fattening.

Since Light travels faster than Sound, people appear brighter before you hear them speak.

Everyone has a scheme of getting rich?.. Which never works.

If at first you don't succeed?. Destroy all evidence that you ever tried.

You can never determine which side of the bread to butter. If it falls down, it will always land on the buttered side.

Anything dropped on the floor will roll over to the most inaccessible corner.

As soon as you mention something?? if it is good, it is taken?. If it is bad, it happens.

He who has the gold, makes the rules ---- Murphy's golden rule.

If you come early, the bus is late. If you come late?? the bus is still late.

Once you have bought something, you will find the same item being sold somewhere else at a cheaper rate.

When in a queue, the other line always moves faster and the person in front of you will always have the most complex of transactions.

If you have paper, you don't have a pen??. If you have a pen, you don't have paper?? if you have both, no one calls.

Especially for engg. Students----
If you have bunked the class, the professor has taken attendance.

You will pick up maximum wrong numbers when on roaming.
The door bell or your mobile will always ring when you are in the bathroom.

After a long wait for bus no.20, two 20 number buses will always pull in together and the bus which you get in will be crowded than the other.

If your exam is tomorrow, there will be a power cut tonight.

Irrespective of the direction of the wind, the smoke from the cigarette will always tend to go to the non-smoker
 
bombay

Awesome!
> B_O_M_B_A_Y
>
> Bombay has no bombs
> and is a harbour not a bay.
>
> Churchgate
> has neither a church nor a gate. It is a railway
> station.
> There
> is no darkness in Andheri.
>
> Lalbaag
> is neither red nor a garden.
>
> No
> king ever stayed at Kings
> Circle .
>
> Nor
> did Queen Victoria stay at Victoria
> Terminus.
>
> Nor
> is there any princess at Princess Street
> .
>
> Lower
> Parel is at the same level as Parel
>
> There
> are no marines or sailors at Marine Lines.
>
> The
> Mahalaxmi temple is at Haji Ali not at
> Mahalaxmi.
>
> There
> are no pigs traded at Dukar bazaar.
>
> Teen
> bati is a junction of 3 roads, not three
> lamps.
>
> Trams
> used to terminate at Kings circle not Dadar* Tram Terminus (Dadar
>T.T.).
>
> Breach
> Candy is not a sweetmeat market, but there is a
> Hospital.
> Safed
> Pool has the dirtiest and blackest water.
>
> You
> cannot buy coal at Kolsa
> street .
>
> There
> are no Iron smiths at Lohar chawl.
>
> There
> are no pot makers at Kumbhar wada.
>
> Lokhandwala
> complex is not an Iron and steel market.
>
> Null
> bazaar does not sell taps.
>
> You
> will not find ladyfingers at Bheendi Bazaar.
>
> Kalachowki
> does not have a black Police station.
>
> Mirchi
> Gully does not sell chillies.
>
> Figs
> do not grow in Anjir Wadi.
>
> Sitafals
> do not grow in Sitafal Wadi,
>
> Jackfruits
> do not grow at Fanaswadi.
>
> But
> it is true that you may get fleeced at Chor Bazaar!
>
>
> AMCHI
> MUMBAI
> A City where
> everything is possible, especially the
> impossible.
> Where
> lovers first love and then marry,
> Where
> there is place for every Tom, Dick and
> Harry Where telephone
> bills make a person ill,
> Where
> a person cannot sleep without a pill. Where
> carbon-dioxide is more than oxygen,
>
> Where
> the road is considered to be a dustbin, Where college
> canteens are full and classes empty,
> Where Adam teasing is also making an
> entry, Where a cycle
> reaches faster than a car,
> Where
> everyone thinks himself to be a star, Where sky
> scrapers overlook the slum,
> Where
> houses collapse as the monsoon comes, Where people
> first act and then think,
> Where
> there is more water in the pen than ink, Where the roads
> see-saw in monsoon,
> Where
> the beggars become rich soon, Where the roads
> are levelled when the minister arrives,
> Where college admission means hard cash,
>
> Where
> cement is frequently mixed with ash. This is Mumbai
> my dear, But don't fear, just cheer, come to Mumbai every year!
>
>
> THINGS
> TO PROVE YOU'RE A BOMBAYITE 1. You say "town
> " and expect everyone to know that this means south of Churchgate.
> 2 You speak in a dialect of Hindi called
> 'Bambaiya Hindi',
>
> which
> only Bombayites can understand. 3. Your door has
> more than three locks. 4. Rs 500 worth
> of groceries fit in one paper
> bag.5. Train timings
> (9.27, 10.49 etc) are really important events of life.
> 6. You spend more time each month
> traveling than you spend at home.
> 7. You call an 8' x 10' clustered room a
> Hall.8. You're paying
> Rs 10,000 for a 1 room flat, the size
> of walk-in closet and you think it's a
> "steal." 9. You have the
> following sets of friend: school friends, college friends, neighborhood
> friends,
> office
> friends and yes, train friends, a species unique only in Bombay .
> 10. Cabbies and
> bus conductors think you are from Mars
> if you call the roads by their Indian
> name,
>
> they
> are more familiar with Warden
> Road , Peddar  Road , Altamount Road .
> 11. Stock market
> quotes are the only other thing* besides cricket which you follow
> passionately. 12. The first
> thing that you read in the Times of India is the " Bombay Times"
>supplement.
> 13. You take fashion
> seriously.
>
> You're
> suspicious of strangers who are actually nice to you.
> 14. Hookers,
> beggars and the homeless are invisible.
> 15. You compare Bombay to New York 's
> Manhattan instead of any other cities of
> India
> .16. The most frequently used part of your
> car is the horn. 17. You insist
> on calling CST as VT, and Sahar and
> Santacruz airports instead of Chatrapati Shivaji International Airport .
> 18. You consider eye contact an act of
> overt aggression. 19. Your idea of
> personal space is no one actually standing on your toes.
> 20. Being truly alone makes you nervous.
> 21. You love wading through knee deep
> mucky water in the monsoons, and actually call it ''romantic'.
> 22. Only in Bombay , you would get Chinese
> Dosa and Jain Chicken
 
Celebration means......

Celebration means......
> Four friends.
> Bahar barsaat.
> Four glasses of beer.
>
>
>
> Celebration means......
>
> Hundred bucks of petrol.
> A rusty old bike.
> And an open road.
>
>
>
> Celebration means......
>
> Maggi noodles.
> A hostel room.
> 4.25 a.m.
>
>
>
> Celebration means......
>
> 3 old friends.
> 3 separate cities.
> 3 coffee mugs.
> 1 internet messenger.
>
>
>
> Celebration means......
>
> Rain on a hot tin roof.
> Pakoras deep-frying.
> Neighbours dropping in.
> A party.
>
>
>
> Celebration means......
>
> You and mom.
> A summer night.
> A bottle of coconut oil.
> A head massage.
>
>
> You can spend
> Hundreds on birthdays,
> Thousands on festivals,
> Lakhs on weddings,
> but to celebrate
> all you have to do is spend your Time with your loved ones.
> Keep in touch with your loved ones........
>
 
lighetr life

Lighter side of life
>January to december
>sunday to saturday
>Am to Pm
>My feelings for u have never changed.......
>u....
>R....
>always....
>a HEADACHE to me !!!!
>
>When u feel lonely and alone & cannot see any one around you,
>the world seems to be fading away,
>come along with me
>i'll take u to an eye specialist !!
>If marriages are made in heaven , then what are made in Hell?
>Ans : the days after marriage
>During Marriage ceremony why are you made to sit on the horse ?
>You are given your last chance to run away.
>Just close ur eyes and think of urself for 10 seconds......
>Open ur eyes !
>Now you will realize that u have wasted 10 sec in thinking of a
>fool............
>
>I wrote ur name on the sands.............
>it got washed away,
>I wrote ur name in air..........................
>it got blown away,
>So i wrote ur name in my heart.............
>
>i got a HEART ATTACK
>LOVE is like a CIGAR
>It starts with a fire..... continues with smoke.....and ends in ashes...
>But dont worry - we are chain smokers
>
>ur smile can be compared to a flower
>ur voice can be compared to a cuckoo
>ur inocence to a child
>but in stupidity
>u have no comparison
>u r the best
>True love is like a pillow
>u can hug when u r in trouble
>u can cry on when u r in pain & u can embrace when u r happy
>so when u need true love
>spend Rs.50/-Buy a pillow
>
>Dear Friend,
>
>when i ask u flower,
>u give me bouquet
>when i ask u a stone
>u give me a statue
>when i ask u a feather
>u give me peacock
>
>ARE U REALLY DEAF ?
>I had VODKA with WATER
>I felt DRUNK
>I had WHISKY with WATER
>I felt DRUNK
>I had RUM with WATER
>I felt DRUNK
>I SWEAR I'LL NEVER DRINK water....!!!
>
>
>when i call u;
>1 ring means i'm thinking of u;
>2 ring means i like u;
>3 means i miss u;
>4 means .........pick d phone idiot
>
>Teacher : four beautiful ladies r walking on the road. change it to
>exclamatory sentence ...
>Student : WOW !
>The human brain is most outstanding thing.......
>it functions 24hrs 365 days.....
>it functions right from the time u r Born.... until you fall in love
>SMILE - is a language of love
>SMILE - is a source to win hearts...
>SMILE - creates greatness in ur personality
>SO....
>Brush ur Teeth today onwards
>A cigarette shortens your life by 2 min..
>A beer shortens your life by 4 min..
>A working day shortens your life by 8 hours!!!!..
>Teacher : U failure ! @ ur age Bill gates stood first in the class
>Student : Mind u, Sir, but @ ur age hitler had commited suicide
 
facts

Hi, Friends,
>
>Something to learn about...
>
>THINGS YOU NEVER KNEW YOUR CELLPHONE COULD ..
>There are a few things that can be done in times of grave emergencies.
>Your mobile phone can actually be a life saver or an emergency tool for
>survival. Check out the things that you can do with it: -
>
>*EMERGENCY*
>
>*I*
>
>*The Emergency Number worldwide for **Mobile** is 112.* If you find
>yourself out of coverage area of your mobile network and there is an
>emergency, dial 112 and the mobile will search any existing network to
>establish the emergency number for you, and interestingly this number 112
>can be dialed even if the keypad is locked. **Try it out.**
>
>*II*
>*Subject: Have you locked your keys in the car? Does you car have remote
>keys?*
>This may
>come in handy someday. Good reason to own a cell phone:
>If you lock your keys in the car and the spare keys are at home, call
>Someone at home on their cell phone from your cell phone.
>
>Hold your cell phone about a foot from your car door and have the person at
>your home press the unlock button, holding it near the mobile phone on
>their end. Your car will unlock. Saves someone from having to drive your
>keys to you. Distance is no object. You could be hundreds of miles away,
>and if you can reach someone who has the other "remote" for your car, you
>can unlock the doors (or the trunk).
>Editor's Note: *It works fine! We tried it out and it unlocked our car
>over a cell phone!"*
>
>*III*
>Subject: Hidden Battery power
>Imagine your cell battery is very low, you are expecting an important call
>and you don't have a charger. Nokia instrument
>comes with a reserve battery. To activate, press the keys *3370# Your cell
>will restart with this reserve and the instrument will show a 50% increase
>in battery. This reserve will get charged when you charge your cell next
>time.
>AND
>
>*IV*
>
>How to disable a STOLEN mobile phone?
>
>To check your Mobile phone's serial number, key in the following digits on
>your phone:
>
>* # 0 6 #
>
>A 15 digit code will appear on the screen. This number is unique to your
>handset. Write it down and keep it somewhere safe. when your phone get
>stolen, you can phone your service provider and give them this code. They
>will then be able to block your handset so even if the thief changes the
>SIM card, your phone will be totally useless.
>
>You probably won't get your phone back, but at least you know that whoever
>stole it can't
>use/sell it either.
>
>If everybody does this, there would be no point in people stealing mobile
>phones.
>
>Please spread this useful information around
 
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