prabhatpastor
Prabhat Pastor
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Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, and so are you.
But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead, the sugar bowl's empty and so is your head.
*******************************************************
After you, my love, my only prize
Would be a bullet between my eyes
*******************************************************
Of loving beauty you float with grace
If only you could hide your face
*******************************************************
I thought that I could love no other
Until, that is, I met your brother
*******************************************************
Kind, intelligent, loving and hot
This describes everything you're not
*******************************************************
I want to feel your sweet embrace
But don't take that paper bag off of your face
*******************************************************
I love your smile, your face, and your eyes --
Damn, I'm good at telling lies!
*******************************************************
Every time I see your face
I wish I were in outer space
*******************************************************
I saw your face as you walked by
but then I saw a better guy
*******************************************************
My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife:
Marrying you screwed up my life
*******************************************************
Beauty is on the inside, but some may doubt,
If it's true, I'd prefer you inside out.
*******************************************************
What inspired this amorous rhyme?
Two parts vodka, one part lime
*******************************************************
I see your face when I am dreaming
That's why I always wake up screaming
*******************************************************
My love you take my breath away
What have you stepped in to smell this way
*******************************************************
My feelings for you no words can tell
Except for maybe "go to hell"
*******************************************************
§..Gréât Øñé..§
Guitar, for sale.......cheap...........no strings attached.
Sign in a bar : "Those ...drinking to forget........ please pay in advance."
Behind every great man, there is a surprised woman.
A Spouse is someone who'll stand by you through all the trouble you
Smoking helps you lose weight .. one lung at a time!
When I read about the evils of drinking...I gave up reading.
My Grandfather is eighty and still doesn't need glasses... He drinks straight out of the bottle.
You know the kids are growing up when your daughter begins to put on lipstick or your son starts to wipe it off.
I always leave an empty milk carton in the refrigerator just in case someone wants Black Coffee.
Getting caught is the mother of Invention.
Laugh and the world laughs with you, Snore and you sleep alone.
The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is the fact that it has never tried to contact us.
Seen on a bulletin board: Success is relative. More the success,more the relatives.
Sign at a barber's saloon in Juhu, Bombay: We need your heads to run our business.
A traffic slogan: Don't let your kids drive if they are not old enough or else they will never be.
Sign in a restaurant: All drinking water in this establishment has been personally passed by the manager.
Seen in railway station at Patna: Aana free, Jaana free, Pakde gaye to khana free.
Sign on a famous beauty parlor window: Don't whistle at the girl going out from here. She may be your Grandmother!!
Virginity like bubble, one prick, all gone.
Man who run in front of car get tired.
Man who run behind car get exhausted.
Man with hand in pocket feel cocky all day.
Foolish man give wife grand piano, wise man give wife upright organ.
Man who walk through airport turnstile sideways going to Bangkok.
Man with one chopstick go hungry.
Man who scratch ass should not bite fingernails.
Man who eat many prunes get good run for money.
Baseball is wrong: man with four balls cannot walk.
Panties not best thing on earth, but next to best thing on earth.
War does not determine who is right, war determine who is left.
Wife who put husband in doghouse soon find him in cathouse.
Man who fight with wife all day get no piece at night.
It take many nails to build crib, but one screw to fill it.
Man who drive like hell, bound to get there.
Man who stand on toilet is high on pot.
Man who live in glass house should change clothes in basement.
Man who fish in other man's well often catch crabs.
Man who fart in church sit in own pew.
Crowded elevator smell different to midget.
God is real, unless declared integer
Two wrongs don't make a right, but three rights make a left.
Do you have trouble making up your mind? Well, yes or no?
The evening news is where they begin with 'Good evening', and then proceed
to tell you why it isn't.
Before borrowing money from a friend, decide which you need more.
Death is hereditary.
There are three sides to every argument: your side, my side and the right
side.
An expert is someone who takes a subject you understand and makes it sound
confusing.
Many things can be preserved in alcohol. Dignity is not one of them.
Never argue with a fool. People might not know the difference.
When you're right, no one remembers.
When you're wrong, no one forgets.
Cheer up, the worst is yet to come.
Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else.
Experience is what a comb gives you after you lose your hair.
Well done is better than well said.
Everyone makes mistakes. The trick is to make them when nobody is looking.
They say hard work never hurts anybody, but why take the chance.
Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back.
I like work. It fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours.
If you can't see the bright side of life, polish the dull side.
Where there's a will, there are five hundred relatives.
I have a drinking problem - I can't afford it.
Love thy neighbour, but be sure her husband is away.
Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die.
Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm
I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met
I intend to live forever - so far, so good
When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy.
If I worked as much as others, I would do as little as they.
If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked
something.
Many people quit looking for work when they find a job.
When I'm not in my right mind, my left mind gets pretty crowded.
Everyone has a photographic memory. Some don't have film.
I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out.
I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.
OK, so what's the speed of dark?
Skill is successfully walking a tightrope over Niagara Falls. Intelligence
is not trying.
Join The Army, Visit exotic places, meet strange people, then kill them.
Squirrel who runs up woman's leg do not find nuts.
When I was born, I got a choice- A big dick or a good memory. I am not able to remember, what did I choose.
Your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory.
My wife is a sex object. Evertime I ask for sex, she objects.
Impotence: Nature's way of saying "No hard feelings".
There are only two four letter words that are offensive to men - don't and stop, unless they are used together.
Panties not best thing on earth, but next to best thing on earth.
There are three stages to sex in a person's life: Tri Weekly, Try Weekly, and Try Weakly.
Virginity can be cured.
Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.
I tried phone sex once, but the holes in the dialer were too small.
Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery? .
Marriage is the only war where you get to sleep with the enemy.
Q: What's an Australian kiss?
A: The same thing as a French kiss, only down under.
A couple just married were happy with the whole thing.
He was happy with the Hole and She was happy with the Thing......
Q: What are the three biggest tragedies in a mans life?
A: Life sucks, job sucks and the wife doesn't.
Teacher: Use "harassment" in a sentence.
Johnny: Her mouth said 'no', but her ass meant 'yes'.
Q: What's the difference between a bitch and a whore?
A: A whore sleeps with everyone at the party and a bitch sleeps with everyone except you.
Q: Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact ?
A: Breasts don't have eyes.
Of course you've heard about the Viagra computer virus, it turns your 3 1/2 inch floppy into a hard disk.
Despite the old saying, "Don't take your troubles to bed", many men still sleep with their wives
Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, and so are you.
But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead, the sugar bowl's empty and so is your head.
*******************************************************
After you, my love, my only prize
Would be a bullet between my eyes
*******************************************************
Of loving beauty you float with grace
If only you could hide your face
*******************************************************
I thought that I could love no other
Until, that is, I met your brother
*******************************************************
Kind, intelligent, loving and hot
This describes everything you're not
*******************************************************
I want to feel your sweet embrace
But don't take that paper bag off of your face
*******************************************************
I love your smile, your face, and your eyes --
Damn, I'm good at telling lies!
*******************************************************
Every time I see your face
I wish I were in outer space
*******************************************************
I saw your face as you walked by
but then I saw a better guy
*******************************************************
My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife:
Marrying you screwed up my life
*******************************************************
Beauty is on the inside, but some may doubt,
If it's true, I'd prefer you inside out.
*******************************************************
What inspired this amorous rhyme?
Two parts vodka, one part lime
*******************************************************
I see your face when I am dreaming
That's why I always wake up screaming
*******************************************************
My love you take my breath away
What have you stepped in to smell this way
*******************************************************
My feelings for you no words can tell
Except for maybe "go to hell"
*******************************************************
§..Gréât Øñé..§
Guitar, for sale.......cheap...........no strings attached.
Sign in a bar : "Those ...drinking to forget........ please pay in advance."
Behind every great man, there is a surprised woman.
A Spouse is someone who'll stand by you through all the trouble you
Smoking helps you lose weight .. one lung at a time!
When I read about the evils of drinking...I gave up reading.
My Grandfather is eighty and still doesn't need glasses... He drinks straight out of the bottle.
You know the kids are growing up when your daughter begins to put on lipstick or your son starts to wipe it off.
I always leave an empty milk carton in the refrigerator just in case someone wants Black Coffee.
Getting caught is the mother of Invention.
Laugh and the world laughs with you, Snore and you sleep alone.
The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is the fact that it has never tried to contact us.
Seen on a bulletin board: Success is relative. More the success,more the relatives.
Sign at a barber's saloon in Juhu, Bombay: We need your heads to run our business.
A traffic slogan: Don't let your kids drive if they are not old enough or else they will never be.
Sign in a restaurant: All drinking water in this establishment has been personally passed by the manager.
Seen in railway station at Patna: Aana free, Jaana free, Pakde gaye to khana free.
Sign on a famous beauty parlor window: Don't whistle at the girl going out from here. She may be your Grandmother!!
Virginity like bubble, one prick, all gone.
Man who run in front of car get tired.
Man who run behind car get exhausted.
Man with hand in pocket feel cocky all day.
Foolish man give wife grand piano, wise man give wife upright organ.
Man who walk through airport turnstile sideways going to Bangkok.
Man with one chopstick go hungry.
Man who scratch ass should not bite fingernails.
Man who eat many prunes get good run for money.
Baseball is wrong: man with four balls cannot walk.
Panties not best thing on earth, but next to best thing on earth.
War does not determine who is right, war determine who is left.
Wife who put husband in doghouse soon find him in cathouse.
Man who fight with wife all day get no piece at night.
It take many nails to build crib, but one screw to fill it.
Man who drive like hell, bound to get there.
Man who stand on toilet is high on pot.
Man who live in glass house should change clothes in basement.
Man who fish in other man's well often catch crabs.
Man who fart in church sit in own pew.
Crowded elevator smell different to midget.
God is real, unless declared integer
Two wrongs don't make a right, but three rights make a left.
Do you have trouble making up your mind? Well, yes or no?
The evening news is where they begin with 'Good evening', and then proceed
to tell you why it isn't.
Before borrowing money from a friend, decide which you need more.
Death is hereditary.
There are three sides to every argument: your side, my side and the right
side.
An expert is someone who takes a subject you understand and makes it sound
confusing.
Many things can be preserved in alcohol. Dignity is not one of them.
Never argue with a fool. People might not know the difference.
When you're right, no one remembers.
When you're wrong, no one forgets.
Cheer up, the worst is yet to come.
Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else.
Experience is what a comb gives you after you lose your hair.
Well done is better than well said.
Everyone makes mistakes. The trick is to make them when nobody is looking.
They say hard work never hurts anybody, but why take the chance.
Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back.
I like work. It fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours.
If you can't see the bright side of life, polish the dull side.
Where there's a will, there are five hundred relatives.
I have a drinking problem - I can't afford it.
Love thy neighbour, but be sure her husband is away.
Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die.
Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm
I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met
I intend to live forever - so far, so good
When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy.
If I worked as much as others, I would do as little as they.
If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked
something.
Many people quit looking for work when they find a job.
When I'm not in my right mind, my left mind gets pretty crowded.
Everyone has a photographic memory. Some don't have film.
I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out.
I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.
OK, so what's the speed of dark?
Skill is successfully walking a tightrope over Niagara Falls. Intelligence
is not trying.
Join The Army, Visit exotic places, meet strange people, then kill them.
Squirrel who runs up woman's leg do not find nuts.
When I was born, I got a choice- A big dick or a good memory. I am not able to remember, what did I choose.
Your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory.
My wife is a sex object. Evertime I ask for sex, she objects.
Impotence: Nature's way of saying "No hard feelings".
There are only two four letter words that are offensive to men - don't and stop, unless they are used together.
Panties not best thing on earth, but next to best thing on earth.
There are three stages to sex in a person's life: Tri Weekly, Try Weekly, and Try Weakly.
Virginity can be cured.
Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.
I tried phone sex once, but the holes in the dialer were too small.
Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery? .
Marriage is the only war where you get to sleep with the enemy.
Q: What's an Australian kiss?
A: The same thing as a French kiss, only down under.
A couple just married were happy with the whole thing.
He was happy with the Hole and She was happy with the Thing......
Q: What are the three biggest tragedies in a mans life?
A: Life sucks, job sucks and the wife doesn't.
Teacher: Use "harassment" in a sentence.
Johnny: Her mouth said 'no', but her ass meant 'yes'.
Q: What's the difference between a bitch and a whore?
A: A whore sleeps with everyone at the party and a bitch sleeps with everyone except you.
Q: Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact ?
A: Breasts don't have eyes.
Of course you've heard about the Viagra computer virus, it turns your 3 1/2 inch floppy into a hard disk.
Despite the old saying, "Don't take your troubles to bed", many men still sleep with their wives
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