Kuchh Meetha Ho Jaye :)

A sardar was walking along, when he looked up to observe a bird
flying overhead. Suddenly, the bird dropped a load when it was
directly over him. The Sardar says, "Good thing that cows don't fly."
************ *

************ *
A sardar is in a bar and his cellular phone rings, so he picks it up
and says " Hello, how did you know I was here?" ************ *

************ *
How many sardars does it take to pull off a kidnapping? Six. One to
kidnap the victim and five to write the ransom note. ************ *

************ *

Did you hear about the sardar who signed all his checks so no one
else could use them if he lost his check book? ************ *

************ *
Did you hear about the sardar who asked his friends to give him all
their burnt out light bulbs? He just bought a camera and wanted to
set up a Darkroom. ************ *

************ *
Sardarji ( to doctor ) : 'Doctor, I have a problem.' Doctor : 'What's
your problem?' Sardarji : 'I keep forgetting things.' Doctor : 'Since
when do you have this problem?' Sardarji : 'What problem?'
************ *

************ *
Why couldn't the sardar write the number "eleven"? He didn't know
which "one" (1) came first...

************ * ************ *
 
Santa arrived at the football game, the first half was almost over.
"Why are you so late?" Banta asked.
"I had to toss a coin to decide between going to Gurudwara and coming to the game."
"How long could that have taken you?"
"Well, I had to toss it 14 times.".
------------------
Santa to a girl: I want to marry you.
Girl: But, I am a year elder to you.
Santa: Then, I'll marry you next year.
-----------------
rani: U know mam, my mother fears a lot while crossing a road!
teacher: How do U know that?
rani: Becoz, she holds my hand while crossing!
----------------
Angry boss: Tumne kabhi Ullu dekha hai?
Executive (sar jhukate hue): Nahin sir.
Boss: Niche kya dekh rahe ho ? Meri taraf dekho.
------------------------
Santa went out to buy an Indian flag. The shop owner gave him the flag. Guess what did he ask next...
Ismein aur colour dikhayiye.
----------------
When a man was traveling with his wife in an auto, the driver adjusted mirror.
Man shouted, "You are trying to see my wife? Sit back. I will drive.
--------------------
Teacher to Student: A=B, B=C, So A=C, Give me an example.
Student: I Love You, You Love Your Daughter, So I Love Your Daughter.
-----------------------
Once a day santa climb-up in building, which have 200 stories.

One of Santa's friend called him Banta your son has dead.

When he heard this he came soon early, but when he came down on 100 story then he remember, aree I have no son, and when he came on 50 story he remember, aee I m not married.

And when he came down on last story, then he remember his name is santa not a Banta.
-----------------------
A worried passenger: Do the ship of this size sink often.
Captain of the ship: No madam, not more than once.
--------------------------
LJOHNY: Dad, can you write in the dark?
FATHER: I think so. What do you want me To write?
LJOHNY: Your name on this report card.
------------------------------
 
Laloo and Rabri: Not on talking terms
:D :) :cool:
Following an especially angry argument, Laloo and Rabri went to bed not speaking to each other.
Needing to arise early the following morning, Laloo left a note on his Rabri's bedside table that said:
"Imartee ki Amma, humko kal bhor paanch baje utha dijiyega."
An annoyed Laloo awoke at ten the following morning and rolled stiffly out of bed to see a note on his bedside table:
"Barfi ke babuji, paanch baje gaye hai, aapka uthne ka samay ho gaya hai!"
*****************
Chor ek ghar mein chori karne gaya,
tijori par likha tha "TIJORI KO TODNE
KI JARURT NAHI,
452 Number LAGAO AUR
SAAMNE WALA LAAL BUTTON DABAAO,
TIJORI KHUL JAYEGI."
Jaise hi button dabaya,
alarm baja
aur police aayi...
Jaate waqt chor seth se bola
"AAJ MERA INSANIYAT PAR SE VISHWAS UTH GAYA".
*****************
MUNNA BHAI : Mamu, apun bachpan mein dus maley ke building se gir gaya tha.
MAMU : Aarey, phir kya hua. Bach gaya ki tapak gaya?
MUNNA BHAI : Yaad nehin hai yaar. Bahut purane baat hai.
***************
PRINCIPAL : Agar koi ladka girls hostel mein gaya toh first time 100 Rs fine, 2nd time 200 Rs. Fine and 3rd time 500.
MUNNA BHAI : Boley to Monthly paas ka kya lega Mamu
****************
A MAN WAS SLEEPING IN HIS HOUSE.
SUDDENLY YAMARAJ APPEARED & SAID, "GO OUT & ENJOY. NOTHING WILL HAPPEN TO YOU FOR THE NEXT 10 YEARS."
HE DID SO & MET WITH AN ACCIDENT & DIED.
IN HEAVEN, HE ASKED YAMRAJ, WHY DID YOU LIE TO ME.
" SORRY SON, Appraisal time , HAD TO ACHIEVE TARGET.. "
*****************
CRICKET : Gol guttam lakad battam de danadan pratiyogita
MOSQUITO : Gunjanhaari Manav Rakt Pipasu Jeev
LIGHT BULB : Vidyut Prakashak Kanch golak
BUTTON : Ast Vyast Vastra Niyantrak
MATCH BOX : Ragdampatti Agni Utpaadan Peti
TRAFFIC SIGNAL : Aavat Jaavat Suchak Jhandaa
TEA : Dugdh Jal Mishrit Sharkara Yukt Parvatiya(pahaadi) Booti
TRAIN : Sahasra Chakra Louh Path Gaamini
**********
 
A Bihari after coming back from a three hour long class says:
Saala pura body headache maar raha hai
**************
There was this Bihari who was travelling with two tickets, so when the T.T.E
asked for the ticket, this fellow gave both the tickets, and so the T.T.E
asked him the reason of buying two tickets , this fellow answered well what
will happen if in case I lose one of them, so the T.T.E said what if you lose
both of them, so this guy said then why do I have a monthly pass.
*******************
Laloo to a long-distance telephone operator:
"COULD YOU PLEASE TELL ME THE TIME DIFFERENCE BETWEEN PATNA AND LAS VEGAS?"
Operator: "JUST A MINUTE, SIR ..."
Laloo: "THANK YOU", AND PUTS DOWN THE PHONE.
************
A man and his wife were walking on a busy street. Coming to a corner a begger shouted out to the lady:
"Oh sundari!!! andhha huu. sawa panch rupya de de" (Oh beautiful!! I am blind give me five and a quarter rupees)

At once her husband told her: "de de, de de, tujhhe sundari bola hai to har haal me ye andhha hi hai!!" (Give him what he asks, If he thinks you are beautiful then there is no doubt that he is blind!!)
*****************8
A man is flying in a hot air balloon and realizes he is lost. He reduces height and spots a man down below. He lowers the balloon further and shouts, "Excuse me, can you tell me where I am?"

The man below said, "Yes, you're in a hot air balloon, hovering 30 feet above this field."

"You must be an engineer," said the balloonist.

"I am," replied the man. "How did you know?"
"Well," said the balloonist, "everything you have told me is technically correct, but it's of absolutely no use to anyone."
The man below said, "You must be in management."
"I am," replied the balloonist, "but how did you know?"
"Well," said the man, "you don't know where you are, or where you're going, but you expect me to be able to help. You're in the same position you were before we met, but now it's my fault."

***********
 
Gal: Is dress ka kya price hai?
Shopkeeper: Sirf 5 kiss.
Girl: Aur us dress ka?
Shopkeeper: 10 kiss.
Girl: Dono dress pack kar do, bill dadi dengi.
-------------
Ravan ki 20 aankhein thi magar nazar sirf ek aurat pe; jab ki aapki 2 aankhein aur nazar har aurat pe...!
Toh asli Ravan kaun??
---------------------
Bahu: Maan ji, yeh abhi tak nahin aaye, kahin kisi dusri ladki ke saath...
Saas: Arey kalmuhi, tu hamesha ulta kyun sochti hai? Aisa bhi to ho sakta hai ki kisi truck ke neeche aa gaya ho
--------------------
Mom: Beti badi ho kar kya karogi?
Beti: Kuch nahin... Maan banungi, padhungi, shaadi karungi... aur kya?
Mom: Jo karna hai karo par zara serial order mein karna
----------------
Red Rose: Luv
Yelloe Rose: Friendship
White Rose: Peace
Which Rose for u?
Nima Rose. Tan ki Durgandh Dur Kare, De Taazgi
------------------
Ek ladka ek ladki k saath baitha tha. 2nd day doosri ladki k saath dekha gaya. 3rd day koi aur ladki thi. 4th day kisi nayi ladki ke saath tha
Moral: Ladkiyan badal jaati hain, ladke nahin badaltey
-------------------
Girl: If u'll try to kiss me, main shor macha doongi.
Boy: Lekin yahan to dur-dur tak koi nahin hai.
Girl: I know but formality to karni hi padegi...
--------------
I have started luving 'U'... I know it sounds ridiculous but I can't control my feelings 4 'U'. Some time later I'll start luving more ALPHABETS.!
---------------
1980 girls: Maan mei Jeans pehanungi
Maan : Nahin beti log kya kahengey?
2006 girls: Maan mein mini skirt pehanungi
Maan: Pehen le beti kuch to pehan le!
---------------
Generation Next Motto: Na hum shaadi karenge, na apne bachchon ko karne denge........................................
---------------
 
BEPPO SINGH QUEUING BEHIND HIS FRIEND AT AN ATM MACHINE.
Friend: What are you looking at?
Beppo Singh: I know your PIN no., hee, hee.
Friend: Alright, what is my PIN no. if you saw it?
Beppo Singh: four asterisks!
----------------------
Once, in a village in Kerala, there lived two identical brothers. They looked very much
alike in every respect and the villagers often had trouble distinguishing between them.
Unfortunately, one of them died. Sankaran Kutti, our hero, decided to visit the
grief-stricken family and console them. Now, there was a problem. Sankaran was not sure
which of the brothers had died.
Our ever-resourceful hero solved the problem ingeniously. He walked upto the surviving
sibling and asked amidst tears -
"Is it you who is dead or is it your Brother ?"
-----------------
A three-year-old walked up to a pregnant lady while waiting with his mother in the doctor's office.
He inquisitively asked the lady, "Why is your stomach so big?"
She replied, "I'm having a baby."
With big eyes, he asked, "Is the baby in your stomach?"
She answered, "He sure is."
Then the little boy, with a puzzled look, asked, "Is it a good baby?"
She said, "Oh, yes. It's a real good baby."
With an even more surprised and shocked look he asked, "Then why did you eat him?"
----------------------
Santa and Banta are employed in a computer hardware store as movers.
One day both of them are asked to move some computers. Santa being energetic that day does
not feel the computer to be heavy at all.
At the same time he sees that Banta is struggling very hard to lift his computer.
At this Santa says, "What Banta, my computer has 500 MB Hard Disk yours has just 250, even
then you cannot lift it?"
At this Banta thinks for a while and replies "That is right, but my Hard Disk is full and
yours is empty"
-------------------
 
There was a farmer who grew watermelons. He was doing pretty well, but he was disturbed by some local kids who would sneak into his watermelon patch at night and eat his watermelons. After some careful thought, he came upwith a clever idea that he thought would scare the kids away for sure. He made up a sign and posted it in the field.
The next day, the kids show up and they saw the sign which read: "Warning! One of the watermelons in this field has been injected with cyanide."
The kids run off, made up their ownsign and posted it next to the farmer`s sign. When the farmer returned, he surveyed the field. He noticed that no watermelons are missing, but the sign next to his read:
"Now there are two!!!"
-----------------------------
A little boy was doing his math homework.
He said to himself, "Two plus six, that son of a bitch is eight. Three plus four, that son
of a bitch is seven...."
His mother heard what he was saying and gasped, "What are you doing?"
The little boy answered, "I'm doing my math homework, Mom."
"And this is how your teacher taught you to do it?" the mother asked.
"Yes," he answered.
Infuriated, the mother asked the teacher the next day, "What are you teaching my son in
math?"
The teacher replied, "Right now, we are learning addition."
The mother asked, "And are you teaching them to say two plus two, that son of a bitch is
four?"
After the teacher stopped laughing, she answered, "What I taught them was, two plus two, THE
SUM OF WHICH, is four."
------------------------------
Two young boys were spending the night at their grandparents. At bedtime, the two boys knelt
beside their beds to say their prayers when the youngest one began praying at the top of his
lungs.
"I pray for a new bicycle... I pray for a new Nintendo... I pray for a new VCR..."
His older brother leaned over and nudged the younger brother and said, "Why are you shouting
your prayers? God isn?t deaf."
To which the little brother replied, "No, but the grandma is!"
----------------
 
Little Johnny became very excited and asked his father if he would get to meet him. His
father thought about this and decided that he would let Little Johnny bring the bishop tea
in the morning and wake him up. Little Johnny agreed to do this and was very excited.
His father gave him instructions: first, knock on the door of the bishop?s room and then say
to him, "It's the boy, my Lord, it's time to get up."
Little Johnny was very excited and rehearsed his lines repeating them over and over. Finally
the day came and Little Johnny had learned all his lines. He went to the door and knocked.
He was so excited and nervous though that his lines got mixed up and the boy said, "It's the
Lord, my boy, and your time is up!"
------------------------
A rich widower miser went back to India and married a young village girl. The girl did not
like his hugging and kissing all the time. He thought of a scheme to teach his wife not to
hate his American life style.
He bought a piggy bank and told his wife that every time he kisses or hugs her, he will put
a rupee coin in the piggy bank and at the end of month she can open the bank and buy a new
saree with the money.
The scheme worked very well. The young wife showed more willingness to be kissed and hugged.
At the end of the month he gave her the key and told his wife to open the piggy bank.
What he saw did not please him. There were many 5 and 10 rupee bills along with rupee coins
in the box. Where did these come from he demanded angirly. I've been putting only rupee
coins. Not everyone is as kanjoos as you replied the wife.
-----------------------
 
Rohit (tall and very thin) was standing at the bus stop.
Suddenly a car stops and a beautiful girl waves to him and calls him. Rohit was initially surprised but recognizes her.
She was Jasmine, his old batch mate. He was wondering why she was calling him because she never ever gave him a lift in college. Anyway, he sat in car and Jasmine gave him a warm welcome (Kaise ho? Kya kar rahe ho? etc.) Then Jasmine offered to have coffee with him, which surprised Rohit all the more. Again he thought, 'Coffee with Jasmine!! ( the old dream)' and gave his consent.
Then Jasmine changed her mind and said, "Let's go to my house....there are a lot of people in the cafe ..."
Now Rohit thought, "Aab to maza aa jaayega".
When they reached Jasmine's house she asks Rohit, "Why don't we sit in my bed room? We only have AC in there".
Now Rohit was sure Jasmine phas gayi hai and he starts dreaming about her in the bed soon.
Jasmine then asked Rohit, "Why don't you take off your shirt? You are sweating".
Rohit starts dreaming again about her in the bed and jasmine asks him to make himself comfortable.
"I will back in a minute", she says, and left Rohit alone in the room, thinking about Jasmine's @#$!%^$&%* .
Then after five minutes

1.
2.
3.
4.
5.

Jasmine enters the room with many children and says

*


*


*


*


*


*

"Dekho bachon! Agar Horlicks nahin piyoge toh Body iske jaisi ho jayegi".
---------------------------

Arzz kiya hai...........





Phool Se Boli Kali ............


Wah Wah..... Wah Wah



?

?


?


?


Phool Se Boli Kali?????????.
Bahot Khub......




?




?


?





Phool Se Boli Kali?????????.
.....
......
.....Aage bhi to bolo....


.....
.....
....

.....
.....
....
.....
...
....
Jai Bajrangbali!!

Jai Bajrangbali !!

----------------------
 
A Brahmin and a Rajput share the same compartment in a train. Early in the morning the
Brahmin chants a loud mantra, which angers a Rajput who is trying to continue sleeping. He
asks the Brahmin,
"Hey, Pandoo [ slang for Pandit ], why do you keep shouting ?"
"It keeps elephants away," replied the Brahmin.
"But there are no elephants here for thosands of miles. Besides, no elephant could ever get
into this train," said the Rajput.
"See how effective it IS"
--------------------
A boy who was a witness to a crime was on the witness stand in court. He was approached by
the defense attorney who asked, "Did anyone tell you what to say in court?"
"Yes Sir", answered the boy.
"I thought so," said the attorney. "Who was it?"
My father, sir."
"And what did he tell you?" the attorney asked accusingly.
"He said that the lawyers would try to get me all tangled up, but if I stuck to the truth,
everything would be all right."
--------------------
Three men were applying for the same job as a detective. One was a Sardarji, one was Jewish,
and one was Italian. The chief decided to ask each applicant just one question and base his
decision upon that answer.
When the Jewish man arrived for his interview, the
chief asked him, "Who killed Jesus Christ?" The Jewish man answered without hesitation "The
Romans killed him." The chief thanked him and he left.
When the Italian man arrived for his interview, the chief asked the same question. He
replied "Jesus was killed by the Jews." Again, the chief
thanked the man who then left. Finally the Sardarji arrived for his interview, he was asked
the same question. He thought for a long time,
before saying, "Could I have some time to think about it?"
The chief said, "OK, but get back to me tomorrow."
When the Sardarji arrived home, his wife asked "How did the
interview go?". Pat came the reply, "Great, I got the job, and I'm already investigating a
murder.
---------------------------
 
Bholaji finds himself in dire trouble. His business has gone bust and he's in serious financial trouble. He's so desperate that he decides to ask Bhagwan for help. He goes into the temple and begins to pray........... "Oh Bhagwan, please help me, I've lost my business and if I don't get some money, I'm going to lose my house as well, please let me win the lotto(lottery)".

Lotto night comes and somebody else wins it. Bholaji goes back to the temple..................... "Bhagwan, please let me win the lotto, I've lost my business, my house and I'm going to lose my car as well". Lotto night comes and Bholaji still has no luck!!

Back to the temple.................. "My Bhagwan, why have you forsaken me? I've lost my business, my house, my car and my wife and children are starving.. I don't often ask you for help and I have always been a good servant to you. Why won't you just let me win the lotto this one time so I can get my life back in order???".

Suddenly there is a blinding flash of light as the sky parts open and Bholaji is confronted by the
voice of God
"Bholaji, buy a damn lottery ticket first".
--------------------------
Santa says to his frind Banta, u know i kiss every day to my wife b4 i go to office and you?
Banta, i kiss u r wife after u go to office......
---------------------
lehna Bought A Brand New Maruti And Decided To Drive Down From Amritsar, Where He Lived, To Jalandhar, To His Sasural. He Reached Jalandhar In A Few Hours.after Spending A Few Days There, He Decided To Return, And Called Up His Mother To Expect Him In The Evening. But He Didn't Reach Amritsar That Evening And Not Even The Next Day.when He Reached Home On The Third Day,his Distraught Mother Ran Out, Hugged Him And Asked,'arre Puttar, Ki Hoya?' Lehna Got Out, Obviously Very Tired From A Long Journey, And Said,'oy,ye Mrutti Wale Pagal Hain, Agge Jaane Vaaste Chaar Gear Banaate Hain, Aur Pichche Jaane Vaaste Sirf Ik'
 
John Abraham was driving down the street in a sweat because he had an important meeting and couldn't find a parking place.
Looking up toward heaven, he said "Lord, take pity on me. If you find me a parking place I will go to Mass every Sunday for the rest of my life and give up tequila."
Miraculously, a parking place appeared.
John looked up again and said,
"Never mind. I found one."
------------
Teacher: What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
Manu: A teacher
------------------
Exams are like GIRL FRIENDS;
1,Too Many Questions.
2,Difficult to Understand.
3,More Explanation is Needed.
4,Result is always FAIL!
----------------------
Two Sardarjis, both student of I.I.T, Kanpur, were talking about the American Astronauts.

One said to the other, "What's the big deal about going to the moon-anybody can go to the moon. We are sardars we will go direct to the sun."

"But if we get within 13 million miles from the sun, we'll melt."

And the first answered, "So what, we'll go at night."
---------------------
Sardar sent a SMS to his pregnant wife. Two seconds later a report came to his phone and he started dancing. The report said, "DELIVERED".
--------------------------
Teacher: Now, Johny, tell me frankly do you say prayers before eating?
Manu: No sir, I don't have to, my mom is a good cook.
----------------------
Teacher: Why are you late?
Manu: Because of the sign.
Teacher: What sign?
Manu: The one that says, "School Ahead, Go Slow."
--------------------
Teacher: Johny, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago.
Manu: Me!
--------------------
Teacher: Johny, how do you spell "crocodile"?
Manu: "K-R-O-K-O-D-A-I-L"
Teacher: No, that's wrong
Manu: Maybe it's wrong, but you ask me how I spell it!
-------------------------
 
Re:

Some Definations.......


Nurse: A person who wakes u up to give you sleeping pills.

Marriage: It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree
and a woman gains her masters.

Divorce: Future tense of Marriage.

Tears: The hydraulic force by which masculine willpower is defeated by
feminine waterpower.

Lecture: An art of transferring information from the notes of the
Lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through "the minds of
either"

Conference: The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.

Compromise: The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody
believes he got the biggest piece.

Dictionary : A place where success comes before work.

Conference Room : A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and
everybody disagrees later on.

Father: A banker provided by nature.

Criminal: A guy no different from the rest....except that he got
caught.

Boss: Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are
early.

Politician : One who shakes your hand before elections and your
Confidence after.

Doctor : A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you by bills.

Classic: Books, which people praise, but do not read.

Smile: A curve that can set a lot of things straight.

Office: A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.

Yawn: The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.

Etc.: A sign to make others believe that you know more than you
actually do.

Committee : Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to
decide that nothing can be done together.

Experience: The name men give to their mistakes.

Atom Bomb: An invention to end all inventions.

Philosopher: A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when
dead.


Edit:
Post moved. Please make posts in the appropriate section.
 
Last edited by a moderator:
boy- lagta hai hum dono ek sath nhi rah sakte
girl- kya mere papa se mile the
boy- nhi mai tumhari choti bhen se mila tha.
--------------
Ques...Bharat ka sabse bada pralay ka din kaun sa hoga.?
Ans...Jis din rakhi ---*---
aur friendship day ---!!---
ek saath padega
----------------------------
Mashooka: Lagta hai meri aankh mein kuch gir gaya, dekho to.
Mashook: Ek tinka dikh to raha hai, kyon na usey wahin rahne diya jaye main doobonga to sahara dega
------------
Wife: kaash main newspaper hoti dinbhar tumhare hathon me rehti
Hubby: meri bhi yahi dua hai rab se issi bahane her din nayi nayi to milti.
------------------
BROTHER: BAHN MERE DOST AYE HAI CHAI BANA DO
SISTER: NAHI ME NAHI BANA RAHI
BROTHER: BANA DE JAB TERE YAAR AYENGE TAB ME BANA DOUNGA
--------------
Jab Gabbar paida hua tab uski maa ne use 2-3 thappad lagaye
Father-kya hua?
Kambakht peda hote hi puch raha tha kitne admi the?
---------------------
Boy: mom, aaj mera dost ghar AA raha hai....
ghar ke sab khilone chhupa de.
Mom: tera dost chor hai kya?
Boy: nahin, who apne khilone pahechan lega.
-------------
3 boys where going on a motor cycle. policeman gives hand to stop sardar shouted oye pehle hi teen bhete hai tu kaha bethega...!
------------
ek din mirinda aur 7up ladne lage jab pepsi ne poocha app logh kyun ladh rahe hoo, tu mirinda aur 7up ne pepsi se kaha sale kale tu apna kaam kar.
-----------------
Boy asks: Tute hue dil se pyar karogi, ya dil tutne tak pyar karogi.
Girl replies: Tute hue sandal se pitoge ya sandal ke tutne tk pitoge..
---------------------
Devdas says to Paro: ek sham mere naam ker do.
Paro : ja ja main kahan or tu kahan.
Devdas:itna garoor tu CHAND ko bhi nahin hai.
Paro:kaise hota CHAND per daag jo hai.
Devdas called his son(CHAND):Tu aaj phir nahi nahaya... .
-------------
Wife- i will die.
Husband- i will also die.
Wife- Why do you want 2 die?
Husband- bcoz ma itni khushi bardasht nahi kar sakta!
--------
 
Ek shrabi roz SHIV mandir pe sir tekta tha.Ek din Pujari ne SHIV murti ki jagah GANESH murti rakhi.Shrabi aya,dekha bola Chotu,papa se bolna main aya tha..
------------------
FATHER TO HIS DAUTHERS LOVER-Main nahi chahta ke meri beti GADHE ke saath puri zidagi bitaaye.
LOVER-Isiliye to me usey yaha se le jaa raha hoo.
------------------
Sindhi: Bhagwan tu mujhe 100 Rs dega toh 50 Rs tumhe chadhaunga.
Thodi door par usko 50 Rs milte hai.
Sindhi: Prabhu itna bhi bharosa nahi, PEHLE HI KAAT LIYA
----------------------
Lalu : Itane sare log football ko lath kyou mar rahe hai?
Sardar : Gol karne ke liye.
Lalu : Sasura gol hi to hai aur kitna gol karenge?!
-----------------
Ek din Narad dharti par BEER pine aye,12 botal pilane k baad:
Waiter:Aapko chadti kyo nahi? Narad:MAIN BHAGWAN HU.
Waiter:Chad gayi saale.
------------------
gum vo cheez hai,gum vo cheez hai,gum vo cheez hai ,
jo kagaz chepkane ke kam aate hai.
------------
Ek aadmi cycle se jaa raha tha. Raaste me usne ek ladki ko cycle maar di.
Ladki : Ghanti nahi maari jaati kya
Aadmi : Puri cycle maar di, ab kya ghanti alag se maaru.
--------------------
Patni: Suno ji, Aapko Mujme Sabse Jayada kaya Acha Lagta hai, Meri Beauty ya Meri Akalmandi?
Pati: Muje to yeh teri Majak karne ki Aadat Sabse achhi lagti hai
--------------------
 
Ek admi kabar par baitha tha, musafir ne pucha dar nahi lagta?
admi bola darne ki kya baat kabar me garmi lag rahi thi thodi der bahar aa gaya.
---------------------
Bhikhari: Saab 1 rupaya de do. Saheb: Kal aana. Bhikhari: Saala is kal-kal ke chakkar mein is colony mein mere lakhon rupaye fase huye hain.
--------------------------------
Patni=Suno ji, doctor ne mujhe ek mahine ke aaram ke liye kisi Hill station par jane ko kaha hai,
hum kaha jayenge? Pati=Dusre Dr. ke Paas..
----------------------
Judge: U r crossing the limits. Lawyer: Kaun Saala aisa kehta hai?
Judge: How dare you call me saala? Lawyer: My Lod, I said kaun 'Sa Law' kehta hai?
---------------
Mallika at Airport. Bhikhari: behanji 1 rupiya dedo. Malika gave him 1000 Rs.
Secretary: why U gave him 1000 Rs..? Malika: pehli bar kisine behan kaha.
--------------------
In a train compartment husband: Darling, mujhe to tumhari aatma se pyar hai, tumhare jism ki mujhe koi chah nahin.
Main tumhari rooh ko chahta hoon, tumhara shareer to main kutton ko daal doon. Banta sitting on upper berth says: BOW BOW
-----------------------------------
Maalik: Ramu, iss saal tum 4 bar apne dada ke marne ki chutti le chuke ho.
Ramu: Maalik, iss bar meri dadi ki shaadi hai.
---------------------
1 Medical student ne apni classmet ko khun se likha letter dekar kaha,
Muje iska answer jarur dena. Ladki Ne Ans Diya Tumara blodgrp B+hai
---------------
Mareej ne achanak Aankhe kholte hue kaha, Doctor sahib,kya mera Operation kamyab raha?
sabar se kaam lo beta,Main Doctor nhi, YAMRAJ hun......
---------------------------
Ek shadishuda aadmi ladkiyo ke samne dekh raha tha. Kisi ne objection liya.
Usne jawab diya kya upvas ho to menu card bhi nahi dekh sakta
--------------------------
 
Aik aadmi jungle se guzar raha tha
A Churail stops him & says:
Hoo Hoo Haa Ha Ha, mai Churail hoon,
Aadmi:janta hoon, teri 1 behan mere ghar main hai.
----------------------------
Ek Sharabi Nashe men Tun hokar jarha tha to peche se ek Tange wala Aya, us ne kaha, hat jao hat jao, Sharabi hat gaya or side per ek ghar k darwazey k sahare khara hogaya, wahan us ko neend aa gae. subha ghar k malik ne darwaza khola to sharabi neche gir gaya, aor chilatey howey bola, yar itna to side deya tha, phir bhee takar mar di.
-------------------------------
Two boys ko 3 live Bomb milte hai... Wo un bombs ko police ko dene Jate hai........
(raste mein... )
First boy: agar koi bomb raste mehi phat jaye to???
Second boy: jhoot bol denge ke 2 hi mile the .
-----------------------
Asmanme panchi ud raha he furrrrr furrrrr
Asmanme panchi ud raha he furrrrr furrrrr
Asmanme panchi ud raha he furrrrr furrrrr
arey ashman me ud rahahe
to idhar kya dhund rahe ho ashmanme dekhona
ullu...........
-----------------------------
AJIT: Robert, in kutton ke saamne yeh Compooter laga do aur
debugger istarrt kar do.
Robert: Lekin kyoon, boss?
AJIT: Saale Checkpoint mein atak jayenge.
----------------------------
Wife: Jab tum DESI pite ho mujhe PARO kehete ho,
jab Whisky pite ho toh DARLING kehete ho.
Aaj kya piya hai jo CHUDEL keh rahe ho. Husband: Aaj main hosh main hu.
-------------------------------
Pati patni se:- kaisi sabzi banai hai, bilkul gobar jaisa swad hai
Patni(matha peet te hue)Hey bhagwan!Na jane inhone kya-kya khaKe dekhahAI
---------------------
 
Dear Mr. Bill Gates,

This letter is from Banta Singh from Punjab. We have bought a computer
for
our home and we found problems, which I want to bring to your notice.

1. After connecting to internet we planned to open e-mail account and
whenever we fill the form in Hotmail in the password column, only ******
appears, but in the rest of the fields whatever we typed appears, but we
face this problem only in password field. We checked with hardware
vendor
Santa Singh and he said that there is no problem in keyboard.
Because of this we open the e-mail account with password *****. I
request
you to check this as we ourselves do not know what the password is.

2. We are unable to enter anything after we click the 'shut down '
button.

3. There is a button 'start' but there is no "stop" button. We request
you
to check this.

4. We find there is 'Run' in the menu. One of my friend clicked 'run '
has
ran upto Amritsar! So, we request you to change that to "sit", so that
we
can click that by sitting.

5. One doubt is that any 're-scooter' available in system? As I find
only
're-cycle', but I own a scooter at my home.

6. There is 'Find' button but it is not working properly. My wife lost
the
door key and we tried a lot for tracing the key with this ' find', but
unable to trace. Is it a bug??

7. Every night I am not sleeping as I have to protect my 'mouse' from
CAT,
So I suggest u to provide one DOG to kill that cat.

8. Please confirm when u are going to give me money for winning 'HEARTS'
(playing cards in games) and when are u coming to my home to collect ur
money.

9. My child learnt 'Microsoft word' now he wants to learn 'Microsoft
sentence', so when u will provide that?

Best regards,

Banta Singh
 
do u knw??????????????????????

Letters 'a', 'b', 'c' &'d' do not appear anywhere in the spellings of 1 to 99

(Letter 'd' comes for the first time in Hundred)

Letters 'a', 'b' & 'c' do not appear anywhere in the spellings of 1 to 999

(Letter 'a' comes for the first time in Thousand)

Letters 'b' & 'c' do not appear anywhere in the spellings of 1 to 999,999,999

(Letter 'b' comes for the first time in Billion)

And

Letter 'c' does not appear anywhere in the spellings of entire English Counting
 
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