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supriyakasi

New member
Chacha kaise ho ??? ??


Chacha: ab kya batau....

Bada beta share broker hai...

Doosara beta Jet Airways mein hai
Aur

Teesara software mein
Sabse chhota PANWALA hai...
Buss Wohi ghar chala raha hai....!!!!
 
What Love means to a 4-8 year old . . .
Slow down for three minutes to read this. It is so worth it. Touching
words from the mouth of babes.

A group of professional people posed this question to a group of 4 to 8
year-olds, "What does love mean?"

The answers they got were broader and deeper than anyone could have
imagined. See what you think:

________________________________


"When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn't bend over and paint her
toenails anymore.
So my grandfather does it for her all the time, even when his hands got
arthritis too. That's love."

Rebecca- age 8
________________________________


"When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different.
You just know that your name is safe in their mouth."

Billy - age 4
________________________________


"Love is when a girl puts on perfume and a boy puts on shaving cologne
and they go out and smell each other."

Karl - age 5
________________________________


"Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your French
fries without making them give you any of theirs."

Chrissy - age 6
________________________________


"Love is what makes you smile when you're tired."

Terri - age 4
________________________________


"Love is when my mommy makes coffee for my daddy and she takes a sip
before giving it to him, to make sure the taste is OK."

Danny - age 7
________________________________


"Love is when you kiss all the time. Then when you get tired of kissing,
you still want to be together and you talk more.
My Mommy and Daddy are like that. They look gross when they kiss"

Emily - age 8
________________________________


"Love is what's in the room with you at Christmas if you stop opening
presents and listen."

Bobby - age 7 (Wow!)
________________________________


"If you want to learn to love better, you should start with a friend who
you hate,"

Nikka - age 6
(we need a few million more Nikka's on this planet)
________________________________


"Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears it
everyday."

Noelle - age 7
________________________________


"Love is like a little old woman and a little old man who are still
friends even after they know each other so well."

Tommy - age 6
________________________________


"During my piano recital, I was on a stage and I was scared. I looked at
all the people watching me and saw my daddy waving and smiling.

He was the only one doing that. I wasn't scared anymore."

Cindy - age 8
________________________________


"My mommy loves me more than anybody
You don't see anyone else kissing me to sleep at night."

Clare - age 6
________________________________


"Love is when Mommy gives Daddy the best piece of chicken."

Elaine-age 5
________________________________


"Love is when Mommy sees Daddy smelly and sweaty and still says he is
handsomer than Robert Redford."

Chris - age 7
________________________________


"Love is when your puppy licks your face even after you left him alone
all day."

Mary Ann - age 4
________________________________


"I know my older sister loves me because she gives me all her old
clothes and has to go out and buy new ones."

Lauren - age 4
________________________________


"When you love somebody, your eyelashes go up and down and little stars
come out of you." (what an image)

Karen - age 7
________________________________


"You really shouldn't say 'I love you' unless you mean it. But if you
mean it, you should say it a lot. People forget."

Jessica - age 8
________________________________


And the final one -- Author and lecturer Leo Buscaglia once talked about
a contest he was asked to judge.

The purpose of the contest was to find the most caring child.

The winner was a four year old child whose next door neighbor was an
elderly gentleman who had recently lost his wife.

Upon seeing the man cry, the little boy went into the old gentleman's
yard, climbed onto his lap, and just sat there.

When his Mother asked what he had said to the neighbor, the little boy
said,

"Nothing, I just helped him cry"
 
Bill Gates organized an enormous session to recruit a new Chairman for
Microsoft Europe. 5000 candidates assembled in a large room. One
candidate is Mr. Reddy an Indian (Hyderabad) guy.

Bill Gates thanked all the candidates for coming and asking those who do
not know JAVA program to leave.2000 people leave the room. Reddy says to
himself, 'I do not know JAVA but I have nothing to lose if I stay. I'll
give it a try'

Bill Gates asked the candidates who never had experience of managing
more than 100 people to leave. 2000 people leave the room. Reddy says to
himself ' I never managed anybody by myself but I have nothing to lose
if I stay. What can happen to me?' So he stays.

Then Bill Gates asked candidates who do not have management diplomas to
leave. 500 people leave the room. Reddy says to himself, 'I left school
at 15 but what have I got to lose?' So he stays in the room.

Lastly, Bill Gates asked the candidates who do not speak Serbo - Croat
to leave. 498 people leave the room. Reddy says to himself, ' I do not
speak one word of Serbo - Croat but what do I have to lose?' So he stays
and finds himself with one other candidate. Everyone else has gone.

Bill Gates joined them and said 'Apparently you are the only two
candidates who speak Serbo - Croat, so I'd now like to hear you have a
conversation together in that language.'

Calmly, Reddy turns to the other candidate and says 'Elaa vunnavu babu'
The other candidate answers 'Baguunanu babu '

Bill Gates Congratulated them "Wonderful both of you were selected".

Don't Loose your Confidence ever.........................
 
Height of lagislation

Pythagorean Theorem - 24 words.
Lord's Prayer - 66 words.
Archimedes' Principle - 67 words.
10 Commandments - 179 words.
Gettysburg Address - 286 words.
Declaration of Independence - 1,300 words.

US Government regulations on the sale of cabbage -

26,911 words.
 
A young man named John received a parrot as a gift. The parrot had a
bad attitude and an even worse vocabulary. Every word out of the
bird's mouth was rude, obnoxious, and laced with profanity.
John tried and tried to change the bird's attitude by consistently
saying only polite words, playing soft music and anything else he
could think of to do to 'clean up' the bird's vocabulary.
Finally, John was fed up and he yelled at the parrot. The parrot
yelled back. John shook the parrot and the parrot got angrier and even
ruder. John, in desperation, threw up his hand, grabbed the bird and
put him in the freezer. For a few minutes, the parrot squawked and
kicked and screamed. Then, suddenly, there was total quiet. Not a peep
was heard for over a minute. Fearing that he'd hurt the parrot, John
quickly opened the door to the freezer. The parrot calmly stepped out
onto John's outstretched hand and said 'I believe I may have offended
you with my rude language and actions. I'm sincerely remorseful for my
inappropriate transgressions and I fully intend to do everything I can
to correct my rude and unforgivable behavior.'
John was stunned at the change in the bird's attitude. As he was about
to ask the parrot what had made such a dramatic change in his
behavior, the bird continued, 'May I ask, please, what the turkey
did?'
 
Once upon a time in a village, a man appeared and announced to the villagers that he would buy monkeys for Rs10. The villagers seeing that there were many monkeys around, went out to the forest and started catching them. The man bought thousands at Rs10 and as supply started to diminish, the villagers stopped their effort. He further announced that he would now buy at Rs20. This renewed the efforts of the villagers and they started catching monkeys again. Soon the supply diminished even further and people started going back to their farms. The offer rate increased to Rs25 and the supply of monkeys became so little that it was an effort to even see a monkey let alone catch it.

The man now announced that he would buy monkeys at Rs50! However, since he had to go to the city on some business, his assistant would now buy on behalf of him. In the absence of the man, the assistant told the villagers. Look at all these monkeys in the big cage that the man has collected. I will sell them to you at Rs35 and when the man returns from the city, you can sell it to him for Rs50." The villagers squeezed up with all their savings to buy the monkeys. Then they never saw the man nor his assistant, only monkeys everywhere!! !! -
Welcome to the Market!!!!!
 
One night at an economy motel, I ordered a 6 am wake-up call.

The next morning, I awoke before 6, but the phone did not ring until 6:30. "Good morning," a young man said sheepishly. "This is your wake-up call."

Annoyed, I let the hotel worker have it! "You were supposed to call me at 6 am! What if I had a million dollar deal to close this morning, and your oversight made me miss out on it?"

"Well, Sir," the desk clerk quickly replied, "if you had a million dollar deal to close, you probably wouldn't be staying in *this* motel."
 
Sardar's Letter to Bill Gates:

Dear Mr.Bill Gates,

We have bought a Computer for our home and we have found some
problems, which I want ot bring to your Notice.

1.There is a " Start " Button but there is not " Stop " Button, We
request to Check This.

2.One Doubt is whether any " Recycle Scooter " is available in the
System? I find only 'Re-cycle bin' but I own a scooter own a scooter
at my home.

3.My child learnt "Microsoft Word" now he wants to learn " Microsoft
Sentence ". So When will U Provide that?

4.There is "Microsoft Office" but what about " Microsoft Home" since I
use PC at Home only.

One Personal Question - How is that your Name is "Gates" but You are
selling " Windows " ?
 
Similarity between Gandhiji & Mallika?
Dono ne kapde tyag diye,
ek ne desh ke liye,
doosre ne Deshwasion ke liye!

Exams ke 4 din pehle syllabus dekha to yaad aaya,
Kuch To Hua Hai Kuch Ho Gaya Hai,
Exams ke din paper dekh kar yaad aaya,
Sab Kuch Alag Hai Sab Kuch Naya Hai


Judge: U r crossing the limits.
Lawyer: Kaun Saala aisa kehta hai?
Judge: How dare you call me saala?
Lawyer: My Lod, I said kaun 'Sa Law' kehta hai? (my favorite)


Bhikhari: Saab 1 rupaya de do.
Saheb: Kal aana.
Bhikhari: Saala is kal-kal ke chakkar mein is colony mein mere laakhoon
rupaye fase huye hain.

Generation Next Motto:
Na hum shaadi karenge,
na apne bachchon ko karne denge.


What do u call a woman in heaven?
An Angel.
A crowd of woman in heaven?
A host of Angels.
And all woman in heaven?
PEACE ON EARTH!



What's the diff between Dava & Daru?
Dava is like girlfriend,
that comes with expiry date and Daru is like wife,
Jitni purani hogi utna sir chad ke bolegi.


A Chinese couple Mr & Miss Hua got twins without marriage.
What did they named them?
They named them as 'Jo-Hua', 'So-Hua'


What did Tarzan think when he saw a dead Cheetah? Wow! New Underwear.


Paani mein Whiskey milao ta nasha chadta hai.
Paani mein Rum milao to nasha chadta hai.
Paani mein Brandy milao to nasha chadta hai.
Saala paani mein hi kuch gadbad hai.
 
Here are some nice one liners..:

1. I say no to alcohol, it just doesn't listen.

2. A friend in need is a pest indeed.

3. Marriage is one of the chief causes of divorce.

4. Work is fine if it doesn't take too much of your time.

5. When everything comes in your way you're in the wrong lane.

6. The light at the end of the tunnel may be an incoming train..

7. Born free, taxed to death.

8. Everyone has a photographic memory, some just don't have film.

9. Life is unsure; always eat your dessert first.

10. Smile, it makes people wonder what you are thinking.

11. If you keep your feet firmly on the ground, you'll have trouble putting on your pants.

12. It's not hard to meet expenses, they are everywhere.

13. I love being a writer... what I can't stand is the paperwork.

14. A printer consists of 3 main parts: the case, the jammed paper tray and the blinking red light.

15. The guy who invented the first wheel was an idiot. The guy who invented the other three, he was the genius.

16. The trouble with being punctual is that no one is there to appreciate it.

17. In a country of free speech, why are there phone bills?

18. If you cannot change your mind, are you sure you have one?

19. Beat the 5 O'clock rush, leave work at noon!

20. If you can't convince them, confuse them.

21. It's not the fall that kills you. It's the sudden stop at the end.

22. I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.

23. Hot glass looks same as cold glass. - Cunino's Law of Burnt Fingers

24. The cigarette does the smoking you are just the sucker.

25. Someday is not a day of the week

26. Whenever I find the key to success, someone changes the lock.

27. To Err is human, to forgive is not a Company policy.

28. The road to success.... Is always under construction.

29. Alcohol doesn't solve any problems, but if you think again, neither does Milk.


$6.00 Welcome Survey After Free Registration!
 
Cannibal Restaurant...
A cannibal was walking through the jungle and came upon a restaurant
operated by a fellow cannibal. Feeling
somewhat hungry, he walked in, sat down and looked over the menu...

Raw Tourist: $5
Broiled Missionary: $10.00
Fried Explorer: $15.00
Baked Democrat or Grilled Republican: $100.00

The guy called his Friend over and asked, 'Why such a huge price
difference for the politicians?'
The cook replied, 'Have you ever tried to clean one? They're so full
of crap, it takes all morning'.

$6.00 Welcome Survey After Free Registration!
 
Three boys were heading home from school one day when one started the time honored game of oneupmanship. He said, "My dad is way faster than any of yours. He can throw a 90 mph fastball from the pitcher's mound, and run and catch it just after it crosses the plate!"

One of the other boys said, "Oh yeah? Well my dad can shoot an arrow from his bow and run to the target and hold it up to make sure the arrow hits the bulls eye!"

The last boy said, "That's nothing! Your dads don't even come close to being as fast as mine. My dad works for the government, and even though he works every day until 4:00, he gets home by 3:30
 
DavidBissonette
When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.


Sacha Guitry
After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together.


Socrates
By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher..


Anonymous
Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them.

Dumas
The great question... which I have not been able to answer.... is, "What does a woman want?

Sigmund Freud
I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me.

Anonymous
"Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays."

Sam Kinison
"There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage."

James Holt McGavran
"I've had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me, and the second one didn't."

Patrick Murray
Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming
1. Whenever you're wrong, admit it,
2. Whenever you're right, shut up.

Nash
The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once...

Anonymous
You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to.

Henny Youngman
My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.

Rodney Dangerfield
A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.

Anonymous
A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: "Wife wanted". Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: "You can have mine."

Anonymous
First Guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!"
Second Guy: "You're lucky, mine's still alive."

$6.00 Welcome Survey After Free Registration!
 
A grizzled old man was eating in a truck stop when three Hell's Angels bikers walked in. The first walked up to the old man, pushed his cigarette into the old man's pie and then took a seat at the counter. The second walked up to the old man, spit into the old man's milk and then he took a seat at the counter. The third walked up to the old man, turned over the old man's plate, and then he took a seat at the counter.

Without a word of protest, the old man quietly left the diner. Shortly thereafter, one of the bikers said to the waitress, "Humph, not much of a man, was he?"

The waitress replied, "Not much of a truck driver either. He just backed his truck over three motorcycles."
 
80,000 Pathans meet in the Peshawar Stadium for a "Pathans Are Not Stupid" Convention.

The leader says, "We are all here today to prove to the world that Pathans are not stupid. Can I have a volunteer?"

A Pathan works his way through the crowd and steps up to the stage. The leader asks him, "What is 15 plus 15?"

After 15 or 20 seconds he says, "Eighteen!" Obviously everyone is a little disappointed.



Then 80,000 PAthans start cheering, "Give him another chance! Give him another chance!"


The leader says, "Well since we've gone to the trouble of getting 80,000 of you in one place and we have the world-wide press and global broadcast media here, gee, uh, I guess we can give him another chance."

So he asks, "What is 5 plus 5?" After nearly 30 seconds he eventually says, "Ninety?" The leader is quite perplexed, looks down and just lets out a dejected sigh -- everyone is disheartened - the Pathan starts crying and the 80,000 men begin to yell and wave their hands shouting, "GIVE HIM ANOTHER CHANCE! GIVE HIM ANOTHER CHANCE!"

The leader, unsure whether or not he is doing more harm than damage, eventually says, "Ok! Ok! Just one more chance-- What is 2 plus 2?"

The man closes his eyes, and after a whole minute eventually says, "Four?"

Throughout the stadium pandemonium breaks out as all 80,000 pathans jump to their feet, wave their arms, stomp their feet and scream...

"GIVE HIM ANOTHER CHANCE! GIVE HIM ANOTHER CHANCE!"


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One Day I went to my friend sardar's home.Sardar's wife came in home
at that time with taking a basket.Sardar said:Yaar, If you tell me
that, what is in the basket-All eggs will be yours.If you tell me that,
How many eggs are there in basket all 8 eggs will be yours.If you tell
me that which animal's eggs are there in basket the hen will be
yours.Now answer.-I told him:Yaar, give me some clue(hint).
 
Dictionary for women
Argument (ar*gyou*ment) n. A discussion that occurs when you're right, but he just hasn't realized it yet.

Airhead (er*hed) n. What a woman intentionally becomes when pulled over by a policeman.

Bar-be-que (bar*bi*q) n. You bought the groceries, washed the lettuce, chopped the tomatoes, diced the onions, marinated the meat and cleaned everything up, but, he, "made the dinner."

Blonde jokes (blond joks) n. Jokes that are short so men can understand them.

Cantaloupe (kant*e*lope) n. Gotta get married in a church.

Clothes dryer (kloze dri*yer) n. An appliance designed to eat socks.

Diet Soda (dy*it so*da) n. A drink you buy at a convenience store to go with a half pound bag of peanut M&Ms.

Eternity (e*ter*ni*tee) n. The last two minutes of a football game.

Exercise (ex*er*siz) v. To walk up and down a mall, occasionally resting to make a purchase.

Grocery List (grow*ser*ee list) n. What you spend half an hour writing, then forget to take with you to the store.

Hair Dresser (hare dres*er) n. Someone who is able to create a style you will never be able to duplicate again. See "Magician."

Hardware Store (hard*war stor) n. Similar to a black hole in space-if he goes in, he isn't coming out anytime soon.

Childbirth (child*brth) n. You get to go through 36 hours of contractions; he gets to hold your hand and say "focus,...breath...push..."

Lipstick (lip*stik) n. On your lips, coloring to enhance the beauty of your mouth. On his collar, coloring only a tramp would wear...!

Park (park) v./n. Before children, a verb meaning, "to go somewhere and neck." After children, a noun meaning a place with a swing set and slide.

Patience (pa*shens) n. The most important ingredient for dating, marriage and children. See also "tranquilizers."

Waterproof Mascara (wah*tr*pruf mas*kar*ah) n. Comes off if you cry, shower, or swim, but will not come off if you try to remove it.

Valentine's Day (val*en*tinez dae) n. A day when you have dreams of a candlelight dinner, diamonds, and romance, but consider yourself lucky to get a card
 
Little Johnny was attending his first day of school. The teacher advised the class to start the day with the Pledge of Allegiance, and instructed them to put their right hands over their hearts and repeat after him.



He looked around the room as he started the recitation, "I pledge allegiance to the flag..." when his eyes fell upon Little Johnny, he noticed his hand over the right cheek of his buttocks.



"Little Johnny, I will not continue until you put your hand over your heart."



Little Johnny replied, "It is over my heart."



After several attempts to get Little Johnny to put his hand over his heart, the teacher asked, "Why do you think that is your heart?"



"Because, every time my Grandma comes to visit, she picks me up, pats me here, and says, 'Bless your little heart', and my Grandma wouldn't lie!"
 
A mom and dad were worried about their son not wanting to learn math
at the school he was in, so they decided to send him to a Catholic
school. After the first day of school, their son comes racing into the
house, goes straight into his room and slams the door shut. Mom and
dad are a little worried about this and go to his room to see if he is
okay. They find him sitting at his desk doing his homework. The boy
keeps doing that for the rest of the year. At the end of the year the
son brings home his report card and gives it to his mom and dad.
Looking at it they see under math an A+.
Mom and dad are very happy and ask the son, "What changed your mind
about learning math?"

The son looked at mom and dad and said, "Well, on the first day when I
walked into the classroom, I saw a guy nailed to the plus sign at the
back of the room behind the teacher's desk and I knew they meant
business."
 
A man died and went to heaven. As he stood in front of St. Peter at the
Pearly Gates, he saw a huge wall of clocks behind him.

He asked, "What are all those clocks?"

St. Peter answered, "Those are Lie-Clocks. Everyone on Earth has a
Lie-Clock. Every time you lie the hands on your clock will move."

"Oh," said the man, "whose clock is that?"

"That's Mother Teresa's. The hands have never moved, indicating
that she never told a lie."

"Incredible," said the man". And whose clock is that one?"

St. Peter responded, "That's Abraham Lincoln's clock. The hands
have moved twice, telling us that Abe told only two lies in his entire
life."

"Where's President Bush's clock?" asked the man.

"Bush's clock is in Jesus' office. He's using it as a ceiling fan."

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