joke of the day

[yummy1984]

Walking into the post office, Joe saw a middle-aged, balding man standing at the counter busily placing 'love' stamps on bright pink envelopes with hearts all over them. The man then removed a perfume bottle from his pocket and started spraying the scent on the envelopes.

Jack was overcome with curiosity and asked the man what he was doing.

"I'm sending out 1000 Valentine cards signed 'Guess Who'," the man explained.

"Why?" asked Jack.

"I'm a divorce lawyer," the man replied.

 

[yummy1984]

A woman walked up to a little old man rocking in a chair on his porch.

"I couldn't help noticing how happy you look," she said. "What's your secret for a long happy life?"

"Well, honey, I smoke five packs of cigarettes a day," he said. "Five packs of cigarettes!!!"

"I also drink a case of whiskey a week, eat fatty foods, and never exercise."

"That's amazing," the woman said. "How old are you?"

"Twenty-eight," he said.

 

[yummy1984]

Once in a kindergarten, a teacher asks all students to write an essay on
the topic " A Poor Family".One student gets the lowest marks for writing
that essay . The student happens to be the richest girl in the entire class
and her essay goes on as.......

she writes:

Ek baar ek bahut hee gareeb family thi, husband aur wife dono gareeb
they, do bachey they, woh bhi bahut gareeb they!!
ghar ke saare naukar bhi gareeb they,
ghar ka maali, driver, aur guard bhi bahut gareeb they, ghar ke 4
kuttey bhi gareeb they, 2 din sey chicken nahi khaaya tha,
3 mercedeez car thi, unki bahut time se servicing nahi hui thi, ghar
ka A.C bhi theek nahi chalta tha ghar mein 1 saal sey paint nahi hua
tha family ko holiday ke liye foregin country gaye bhi 6 mahiney ho
gaye they,ghar ke 5 mein sey 2 TV to chaltey hee nahi they, all in
all, bahut he gareeb family thi!!