roshcrazy
Roshni Bhatia
one may read the article b4 putting forth their views...
Is Marriage A Necessity?
THE marriage problem assumes importance very early in the life of every man. Many contend that men can live a continent life indefinitely, without being harmed thereby, and such a contention would be upheld by the facts, in the case of some men, but in the majority of instances a man demands a mate. This is a God-given law. You can see it evolving throughout the entire animal world, and from the stand-point of sexuality we belong to the animal world. The instincts and emotions associated with sexual life are shared to a large extent by what we term "the lower animals."
Many persons have led continent lives for years, without sustaining any harm by reason of their abstinence. In many such instances, their lives have been exceedingly useful to the community. Such people are the exception, not the rule, and in this instance we are not selecting unusual examples. We are simply discussing the ordinary, average man, as he is.
The sex instinct begins to assert itself at an early age. In many individuals it becomes noticeable far earlier than it should, because of the prudery that is found almost everywhere. The curiosity aroused in childish minds by the secrecy and deception practiced in regard to sex subjects, naturally increases interest in the theme, and consequently the sexual characteristics are prematurely developed in both sexes.
As a result of this evil, boys, and less frequently girls, fall into devitalizing habits. The sexual vice known as masturbation stimulates the premature secretion of the seminal fluid, and after the boy has learned the evil of his way, and is able to control himself, this rich fluid continues to be secreted too rapidly, resulting, in practically every instance, in constant losses. This question will be discussed in detail later on. These facts are presented here to show how present conditions tend to create an abnormal sexual appetite.
If a boy can escape masturbation, he will usually be almost entirely free from nocturnal losses, though some experts maintain that normally they occur from two to four times monthly. How-ever, if masturbation is avoided the sexual appetite will not be so insistent. As a rule men who have maintained a continent life for a long period have also been free from masturbation and the evil which follows thereafter.
We may, however, just as well come out and face the problem squarely and honestly, and acknowledge that marriage is the normal condition for nearly all men. The desire for sexual gratification is the strongest force in human nature. Even the craving for food is less imperative, and often of minor importance. Every healthy, strong, virile man must, therefore, realize the necessity for marriage. He must marry somebody, and should carefully choose his mate early in life. Early marriage is advantageous largely because it saves a man from all the diseases and excesses associated with prostitution, as well as from other evils.
To be sure, the economic question assumes considerable importance when marriage comes up for consideration, but we are not attempting to settle that phase of the problem. If you have avoided masturbation, if you can be satisfied with a continent life and are apparently enjoying a normal degree of vigor and vitality while adhering thereto, there can be no objection to your continuing it. Such temperance, however, is the exception.
We hear much about the attractions of bachelorhood. Single blessedness, so-called, is frequently applauded. But in many instances bachelorhood is associated with immoralities of the worst sort. True enough the bachelor may be rarely strictly virtuous and continent-but more frequently he is the opposite. There are no marital ties to bind him, and he feels free to act as his masculine instincts may dictate, so that not infrequently he preys upon the wives and sisters of his friends and associates.
To be sure we are not so silly as to maintain that a marriage ceremony in itself hallows all sexual relations, or that such a ceremony would definitely, insure that every sexual relation would be beneficial. Neither when speaking of marriage, do we refer to all unions sanctioned by the law. True marriage presupposes a keen and intense love between a man and a woman. It is this love that cements the marital bond and marriage lasts just so long as this strong affection exists. If a man and woman break the laws of sexual life, if they outrage what should be our most holy instincts, then they must suffer the penalty. Love which may have brought to each a divine joy, an ecstatic bliss, disappears, and in its place will come often a feeling of mutual disgust, or even hatred, each for the other. Where such a feeling exists, it is a decree or decision rendered by the Most High that this man and this woman should no longer live together. They have already been divorced, and we would therefore say: What God has rent asunder, let no man join together.
There are some men who cannot marry because of financial reasons. When one is so placed that marriage is practically impossible on this account, what advice can be given?
In many instances where marriage is considered impossible, there are ways and means whereby it might be satisfactorily arranged. But let us admit that there are instances in which a man is compelled to support a mother or sisters, and in which marriage would not allow him to continue to carry responsibilities that he feels are imperatively fastened upon him. Or let us take others in which a satisfactory life partner cannot be secured. What is a man to do under such circumstances?
The average book dealing with this subject will advise a continent life. Most writers will say that such a man must adhere to this strict regime until his circumstances have so changed that he can legally and properly take to himself a wife. The writers of these idealistic volumes forget that they are dealing under such circumstances with human problems that are varied in nature.
It must be admitted that when a man can follow advice of this nature it will generally be the better for him in the end; but we are dealing with human instincts and human passions that often go beyond control. The fact that we are for-bidden marriage because of economic or other reasons does not necessarily take us away from all associations with the opposite sex. And with a virile man such companionship is bound at times to arouse passions and desires that seek satisfaction. What is a man to do under such circumstances? The problem is indeed hard' to solve. The question involved in a situation of this kind is largely as to whether or not the man will be harmed through attempting to lead a continent life, or whether it would pay to incur the risks of disease that attend deviations from the paths of moral rectitude. In other words, are we to follow the usual policy and lay down a definite rule of strict continence to the men who cry for help under such circumstances?
The problem in every instance is varied and individual in nature. As previously stated some men can live a continent life for a great number of years without serious injury to their capacities, mental, moral, or physical. Other men, however, are so constituted that the question of a sexual mate assumes a dominating character that is actually terrifying. Such men will find a continent life practically impossible and, with their particular natures, if they possessed the determination to adhere to a regime of this character it would, perhaps, be productive of injury —though perhaps not more than a certain slight decline in vitality. But under such circumstances we are dealing with what might be termed impossibilities. Such men will not remain continent when temptation comes their way. What are we to advise in such cases?
Where the demand for the associations of marriage are so dominating in character, the situation, regardless of all other conditions, demands marriage. And it is unquestionably better that the marriage should conform to the legal and conventional standards. No matter how you may try to avoid other associations and responsibilities that your instincts crave, you cannot avoid the very definite commands of your cravings for a sexual mate.
The man who finds himself possessed of these imperative sexual demands, if allowed freely to associate with members of the opposite sex, will surely find a mate. There is no question about that. The only way a man of this kind can remain continent is to live the life of a hermit, or not meet enough of the opposite sex, and even under such circumstances there is a strong possibility or even probability of his acquiring secret sexual vices that are fearfully destructive in nature. Therefore, although you may be impressed with the idea that you are economically or otherwise so situated that marriage is impossible, yet when you find yourself mated, you should so arrange your affairs that the legal responsibilities associated therewith can be satisfactorily assumed. There is really no other solution of this problem that is tolerable or possible.
Whatever mistakes you may make, avoid the prostitute and the diseases that she carries. Tainted more in body than in soul, she should be shunned as poison. Remember also that the clandestine prostitute, masquerading under the cloak of decency, perhaps as stage performer, a shop girl, housemaid, or in some other form, is even more dangerous than the street-walker. Furthermore, aside from the dangers of venereal poisoning, intimate relations with women of this sort are destructive to character and mind as well as to body.
The use of a mistress, while it may be free from some of the dangers of other illicit relationships, cannot be regarded as a satisfactory solution of the problem, for many reasons, one that such a plan is not fair to the woman. A due sense of honor would make such a relationship intolerable.
What has' been termed a "free-love union" has often been suggested, but this is equally objectionable. In most cases the term "free love" is only an attempt to justify license. It is a pretty phrase by which to further the purpose of seduction. But when the matter is taken seriously, when the union is based upon the philosophy that love rather than a ceremony sanctifies the marriage relation, and when the couple really live together as in legal marriage, then it really is marriage, and the phrase, "free love," is a misnomer. There is little or no more freedom in a union of this kind than in a legal marriage. When men and women have tried it, they have found that they are just as tightly bound by the conditions of marriage as they would be by the legal tie.
Marriage, therefore, is the only solution of the problem in practically all cases. Bachelorhood in many cases means immorality or secret vices. If immorality, it tends to become promiscuous, and this means almost certain infection. The only normal, the only safe and the only decent relationship is marriage with a pure, good woman whom one respects and whom one loves, and who loves in return. This is a relationship that is conducive to health and honor and self-respect. One sex is necessary to the other, and monogamic marriage is not only the ideal but the only satisfactory form of union.
source: http://www.oldandsold.com/articles08/marriage-3.shtml
Is Marriage A Necessity?
THE marriage problem assumes importance very early in the life of every man. Many contend that men can live a continent life indefinitely, without being harmed thereby, and such a contention would be upheld by the facts, in the case of some men, but in the majority of instances a man demands a mate. This is a God-given law. You can see it evolving throughout the entire animal world, and from the stand-point of sexuality we belong to the animal world. The instincts and emotions associated with sexual life are shared to a large extent by what we term "the lower animals."
Many persons have led continent lives for years, without sustaining any harm by reason of their abstinence. In many such instances, their lives have been exceedingly useful to the community. Such people are the exception, not the rule, and in this instance we are not selecting unusual examples. We are simply discussing the ordinary, average man, as he is.
The sex instinct begins to assert itself at an early age. In many individuals it becomes noticeable far earlier than it should, because of the prudery that is found almost everywhere. The curiosity aroused in childish minds by the secrecy and deception practiced in regard to sex subjects, naturally increases interest in the theme, and consequently the sexual characteristics are prematurely developed in both sexes.
As a result of this evil, boys, and less frequently girls, fall into devitalizing habits. The sexual vice known as masturbation stimulates the premature secretion of the seminal fluid, and after the boy has learned the evil of his way, and is able to control himself, this rich fluid continues to be secreted too rapidly, resulting, in practically every instance, in constant losses. This question will be discussed in detail later on. These facts are presented here to show how present conditions tend to create an abnormal sexual appetite.
If a boy can escape masturbation, he will usually be almost entirely free from nocturnal losses, though some experts maintain that normally they occur from two to four times monthly. How-ever, if masturbation is avoided the sexual appetite will not be so insistent. As a rule men who have maintained a continent life for a long period have also been free from masturbation and the evil which follows thereafter.
We may, however, just as well come out and face the problem squarely and honestly, and acknowledge that marriage is the normal condition for nearly all men. The desire for sexual gratification is the strongest force in human nature. Even the craving for food is less imperative, and often of minor importance. Every healthy, strong, virile man must, therefore, realize the necessity for marriage. He must marry somebody, and should carefully choose his mate early in life. Early marriage is advantageous largely because it saves a man from all the diseases and excesses associated with prostitution, as well as from other evils.
To be sure, the economic question assumes considerable importance when marriage comes up for consideration, but we are not attempting to settle that phase of the problem. If you have avoided masturbation, if you can be satisfied with a continent life and are apparently enjoying a normal degree of vigor and vitality while adhering thereto, there can be no objection to your continuing it. Such temperance, however, is the exception.
We hear much about the attractions of bachelorhood. Single blessedness, so-called, is frequently applauded. But in many instances bachelorhood is associated with immoralities of the worst sort. True enough the bachelor may be rarely strictly virtuous and continent-but more frequently he is the opposite. There are no marital ties to bind him, and he feels free to act as his masculine instincts may dictate, so that not infrequently he preys upon the wives and sisters of his friends and associates.
To be sure we are not so silly as to maintain that a marriage ceremony in itself hallows all sexual relations, or that such a ceremony would definitely, insure that every sexual relation would be beneficial. Neither when speaking of marriage, do we refer to all unions sanctioned by the law. True marriage presupposes a keen and intense love between a man and a woman. It is this love that cements the marital bond and marriage lasts just so long as this strong affection exists. If a man and woman break the laws of sexual life, if they outrage what should be our most holy instincts, then they must suffer the penalty. Love which may have brought to each a divine joy, an ecstatic bliss, disappears, and in its place will come often a feeling of mutual disgust, or even hatred, each for the other. Where such a feeling exists, it is a decree or decision rendered by the Most High that this man and this woman should no longer live together. They have already been divorced, and we would therefore say: What God has rent asunder, let no man join together.
There are some men who cannot marry because of financial reasons. When one is so placed that marriage is practically impossible on this account, what advice can be given?
In many instances where marriage is considered impossible, there are ways and means whereby it might be satisfactorily arranged. But let us admit that there are instances in which a man is compelled to support a mother or sisters, and in which marriage would not allow him to continue to carry responsibilities that he feels are imperatively fastened upon him. Or let us take others in which a satisfactory life partner cannot be secured. What is a man to do under such circumstances?
The average book dealing with this subject will advise a continent life. Most writers will say that such a man must adhere to this strict regime until his circumstances have so changed that he can legally and properly take to himself a wife. The writers of these idealistic volumes forget that they are dealing under such circumstances with human problems that are varied in nature.
It must be admitted that when a man can follow advice of this nature it will generally be the better for him in the end; but we are dealing with human instincts and human passions that often go beyond control. The fact that we are for-bidden marriage because of economic or other reasons does not necessarily take us away from all associations with the opposite sex. And with a virile man such companionship is bound at times to arouse passions and desires that seek satisfaction. What is a man to do under such circumstances? The problem is indeed hard' to solve. The question involved in a situation of this kind is largely as to whether or not the man will be harmed through attempting to lead a continent life, or whether it would pay to incur the risks of disease that attend deviations from the paths of moral rectitude. In other words, are we to follow the usual policy and lay down a definite rule of strict continence to the men who cry for help under such circumstances?
The problem in every instance is varied and individual in nature. As previously stated some men can live a continent life for a great number of years without serious injury to their capacities, mental, moral, or physical. Other men, however, are so constituted that the question of a sexual mate assumes a dominating character that is actually terrifying. Such men will find a continent life practically impossible and, with their particular natures, if they possessed the determination to adhere to a regime of this character it would, perhaps, be productive of injury —though perhaps not more than a certain slight decline in vitality. But under such circumstances we are dealing with what might be termed impossibilities. Such men will not remain continent when temptation comes their way. What are we to advise in such cases?
Where the demand for the associations of marriage are so dominating in character, the situation, regardless of all other conditions, demands marriage. And it is unquestionably better that the marriage should conform to the legal and conventional standards. No matter how you may try to avoid other associations and responsibilities that your instincts crave, you cannot avoid the very definite commands of your cravings for a sexual mate.
The man who finds himself possessed of these imperative sexual demands, if allowed freely to associate with members of the opposite sex, will surely find a mate. There is no question about that. The only way a man of this kind can remain continent is to live the life of a hermit, or not meet enough of the opposite sex, and even under such circumstances there is a strong possibility or even probability of his acquiring secret sexual vices that are fearfully destructive in nature. Therefore, although you may be impressed with the idea that you are economically or otherwise so situated that marriage is impossible, yet when you find yourself mated, you should so arrange your affairs that the legal responsibilities associated therewith can be satisfactorily assumed. There is really no other solution of this problem that is tolerable or possible.
Whatever mistakes you may make, avoid the prostitute and the diseases that she carries. Tainted more in body than in soul, she should be shunned as poison. Remember also that the clandestine prostitute, masquerading under the cloak of decency, perhaps as stage performer, a shop girl, housemaid, or in some other form, is even more dangerous than the street-walker. Furthermore, aside from the dangers of venereal poisoning, intimate relations with women of this sort are destructive to character and mind as well as to body.
The use of a mistress, while it may be free from some of the dangers of other illicit relationships, cannot be regarded as a satisfactory solution of the problem, for many reasons, one that such a plan is not fair to the woman. A due sense of honor would make such a relationship intolerable.
What has' been termed a "free-love union" has often been suggested, but this is equally objectionable. In most cases the term "free love" is only an attempt to justify license. It is a pretty phrase by which to further the purpose of seduction. But when the matter is taken seriously, when the union is based upon the philosophy that love rather than a ceremony sanctifies the marriage relation, and when the couple really live together as in legal marriage, then it really is marriage, and the phrase, "free love," is a misnomer. There is little or no more freedom in a union of this kind than in a legal marriage. When men and women have tried it, they have found that they are just as tightly bound by the conditions of marriage as they would be by the legal tie.
Marriage, therefore, is the only solution of the problem in practically all cases. Bachelorhood in many cases means immorality or secret vices. If immorality, it tends to become promiscuous, and this means almost certain infection. The only normal, the only safe and the only decent relationship is marriage with a pure, good woman whom one respects and whom one loves, and who loves in return. This is a relationship that is conducive to health and honor and self-respect. One sex is necessary to the other, and monogamic marriage is not only the ideal but the only satisfactory form of union.
source: http://www.oldandsold.com/articles08/marriage-3.shtml
melroy88
Melroy Lopes
rosh....way 2 go....i think by the time i finish reading that...my neighbours might get married lolz 
....anyways..marriage is the start if a new life...a life joined with another life...to live in bla bla bla...Some say marriages are the key to _ _ _...........but its wrong...its really necessary coz marriage is the significance of love!
....anyways..marriage is the start if a new life...a life joined with another life...to live in bla bla bla...Some say marriages are the key to _ _ _...........but its wrong...its really necessary coz marriage is the significance of love!hemant.k008
Hemant Khawalia
yaar Rosh Long long and still long yaar!
Any ways on this issue every thing depends on once mentality. Its how u feel. when u r comfortable sharing all of ur with other then its fine. For those people who dont want to loose their freedom may think on it. it also depends on family. if every one in the family is married, then one thinks that even he will not b spared.
I think we should leave this on individual. They knw the best abt themself. though it is necessary to make us feel complete as Fatima said.
Any ways on this issue every thing depends on once mentality. Its how u feel. when u r comfortable sharing all of ur with other then its fine. For those people who dont want to loose their freedom may think on it. it also depends on family. if every one in the family is married, then one thinks that even he will not b spared.
I think we should leave this on individual. They knw the best abt themself. though it is necessary to make us feel complete as Fatima said.
gaurav200x
Gaurav Mittal
What's marriage.... Bond to make 2 people tie in an official thread
Is it necessary.... pretty much, because without marriage people cant realise their duties towards each other. Its as good as saying, that without exams would u ever study.... although the comparison is uncanny
roshcrazy
Roshni Bhatia
at some point of lyf[at a certain age], u need sum1's full support and care...its at a certain age wen its impossible 2 stay alone..u need a partner..rather in gen. too;there are situations which makes 1 feel the need of a partner...
wen 1 is married; a partner is able 2 dedicate lotsa tym to the other..its nt tht wen 1s nt married they dont give to each other..but marriage confirms commitment towards each other..a sense of security tht both partners will be thr for each other..thts wht i feel...
wen 1 is married; a partner is able 2 dedicate lotsa tym to the other..its nt tht wen 1s nt married they dont give to each other..but marriage confirms commitment towards each other..a sense of security tht both partners will be thr for each other..thts wht i feel...
deepakraam
Deepak Narayanan
Hi,
Marriage is a necessity.You need someone to shoulder your sorrows and share your enjoyment,where friends and Parents can't take part.
I guess marrige is a must.
There was a funny quote about marriage I read it
Most men marry thinking it as partnership,but later they realise itz a take-over ;-)
-Deepak.
Marriage is a necessity.You need someone to shoulder your sorrows and share your enjoyment,where friends and Parents can't take part.
I guess marrige is a must.
There was a funny quote about marriage I read it
Most men marry thinking it as partnership,but later they realise itz a take-over ;-)
-Deepak.
purush_tiwari
Purshottam Tiwari
Yes or no depend upon you are married or not ?
sreeeekanth
New member
If you marry you will get all lauxaries in life. Like -
1. Good food at right time everyday
2. Support whenever you are trouble and lot lot you can get.
On the other side -
1. You have to take care of wife and her needs
2. And you have to bare if she do the things which you do not like.
At last if you marry, you will get attachment with wife. Attachment is the hurdle for freedom.
If you do not marry ... i too do not know much. Please try this and let me know feelings at the end of your life.
1. Good food at right time everyday
2. Support whenever you are trouble and lot lot you can get.
On the other side -
1. You have to take care of wife and her needs
2. And you have to bare if she do the things which you do not like.
At last if you marry, you will get attachment with wife. Attachment is the hurdle for freedom.
If you do not marry ... i too do not know much. Please try this and let me know feelings at the end of your life.
pooja.teku
Par 100 posts (V.I.P)
I wouldn't say marriage is necessary, but it does often make life more fullfilling............... life becomes more worth living .......Day in and day out, someone is always there for you. You always have someone to share things with, do things with and laugh with, cry with, etc. You find someone whose strengths compliment yours, n it make life more beautiful......
i have seen ma parents n can surelys say marriage is a beautiful felling
i have seen ma parents n can surelys say marriage is a beautiful felling
rahul_parab2006
Rahul Parab
i'm here opposing to all................ that marriage is not the only aim of our life............. so take a example of the imagined story following:-
A couple gets married. A boy has good job, a girl leaves her job after marriage...... so for some times, they were happy ..... but as the time passes he got promotion as Finance Manager and he got so much work in hand at office and he couldn't take care much of his family esp. wife........... he was so much busy as 24#7 he just was thinking abt ihis job & stress...........so quarrels started, as generally happens..... so he can't concentarte neither in his relationship nor in his job at hand.....
but at the end, it depends on one's family, as well as need of partner at partcular stage as rosh said........
plz comment on this above imagined storyline.........
A couple gets married. A boy has good job, a girl leaves her job after marriage...... so for some times, they were happy ..... but as the time passes he got promotion as Finance Manager and he got so much work in hand at office and he couldn't take care much of his family esp. wife........... he was so much busy as 24#7 he just was thinking abt ihis job & stress...........so quarrels started, as generally happens..... so he can't concentarte neither in his relationship nor in his job at hand.....
but at the end, it depends on one's family, as well as need of partner at partcular stage as rosh said........
plz comment on this above imagined storyline.........
gaurav200x
Gaurav Mittal
I think quarrels in a marriage begin when one starts to take marriage and his/her partner for granted, and with time their importance diminishes. Just think what do people do during courting? Why is everything fun that time, while quarrelsome after a few years of marriage. Simple thing is that when u meet someone, the fun of finding the unknown, exploring them, spending time with them... all this creates fun. However, later on, when u simply take them for granted... it becomes like an everyday routine...
Yeah! its there... So what's the big deal...
This is where the mess begins to pile up... in the mind. If the couples are smart enough and know what they lack, they can begin to think what they should do to keep the charm going. Take regular breaks and spend more time with the spouse. Take initiative to spend more time and to help them in their work. I think with time what lacks is their spending time with each other, and more so because of work pressure. Hence that 'distance' between them increases and hence, marriage becomes a burden.
I think the best thing which couples should do is to take a small break, go for a vacation and learn to re-unite themselves. This should be the ideal fuel they could add the keep their marriage running :smile:
Yeah! its there... So what's the big deal...
This is where the mess begins to pile up... in the mind. If the couples are smart enough and know what they lack, they can begin to think what they should do to keep the charm going. Take regular breaks and spend more time with the spouse. Take initiative to spend more time and to help them in their work. I think with time what lacks is their spending time with each other, and more so because of work pressure. Hence that 'distance' between them increases and hence, marriage becomes a burden.
I think the best thing which couples should do is to take a small break, go for a vacation and learn to re-unite themselves. This should be the ideal fuel they could add the keep their marriage running :smile:
united_rulz
New member
nope, now a days live in relationship shud b encoraged
roshcrazy
Roshni Bhatia
1 does need sexual pleasure...but emotional needs.n d sense of security does come into picture at a certain age in lyf.....u thnk ppl marry jus 2 satisfy their sexual needs????
u r wrong....we need sum1 to be always thr for us...marriage gives security...no matter how much ever 1 says i don need any1 , i can take care of myself...as 1 strts becomin older..becoming dependent on others..d need for sum1..tht 1 person who will be always thr for u, no matter wht u are n wht u do,arises.n this is nt some dialogue im puttin up, its a fact.man is a SOCIAL ANIMAL....n he needs support, care affection..marriage guarantees tht throughout 1s lyf...
maddyrules
New member
The easiest way to keep Life interesting thruout one's lifetime is Marriage
Marriage more than anything bonds us to a person who will be their to support us through the rest of our life....Its correct that with it comes everything(sexually activity,responsibilities) but marriage is something which is essential in the long run as everybody needs some support in his or her life at some stage or the other