Humorous quotes

I have no trouble with my enemies. I can take care of my enemies all right. But my damn friends—they're the ones that keep me walking the floor nights!
 
It can hardly be a coincidence that no language on Earth has ever produced the phrase, 'as pretty as an airport.' Airports are ugly. Some are very ugly. Some attain a degree of ugliness that can only be the result of a special effort.
 
Arthur hoped and prayed that there wasn't an afterlife. Then he realised there was a contradiction there and merely hoped that there wasn't an afterlife.
 
He felt that his whole life was some kind of dream and he sometimes wondered whose it was and whether they were enjoying it.
 
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