sushobhan
Sushobhan Sanyal
Hello Everybody,
I will be posting here humorous materail of the highest quality .... Keep visiting this thread as it will be updated as much as possible.
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A teacher in a mathematics lecture asks a 3rd std class,
" If there are 3 birds on a tree and u shoot one of them,how many birds would remain?? ".
Johnny,the nuaghtiest of the lot, shoots up his hand.
teacher: "ok johnny ,wats the answer?".
Johnny: "none,ma'am.
teacher: "how?"
Johnny:" after hearing the shot ,all the other birds will also fly away."
Teacher:"no johnny, the answer here is 2,but I like the way u r thinking.
now johnny has a doubt.
Johhny: " teacher can i ask u a question?
Teacher: "sure"
johnny:" there are three ladies havin ice cream at the parlour.the first one is eatin it,the second is lickin it while the third one is suckin on it.can u tell which one of the ladies is married??"
teacher is terribly embaressed,but she puts on a brave face and answers.
Teacher: "I....I...... I guess the one which is suckin on the ice cream is married."
Johnny:" no ma'am,the one who has the wedding ring on her finger is married,BUT I LIKE THE WAY U R THINKIN." !!!!!
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Author: Jonathon Horsman
Created: Fri 13 May 2005 10:30
Topic: HUMOUR
Apparently, this is an actual letter of resignation from an employee at "Zantex Computers", Australia, to his boss, J Pilgrim. His boss, known as Pilly, apparently resigned very soon afterwards!
Dear Mr Pilgrim
As an employee of an institution of higher education, I have a few very basic expectations. Chief among these is that my direct superiors have an intellect that ranges above the common ground squirrel. After your consistent and annoying harassment of my co-workers and myself during the commission of our duties, I can only surmise that you are one of the few true genetic wastes of our time.
Asking me, a network administrator, to explain every little nuance of everything I do each time you happen to stroll into my office is not only a waste of time, but also a waste of precious oxygen. I was hired because I know how to network computer systems, and you were apparently hired to provide amusement to myself and other employees, who watch you vainly attempt to understand the concept of "cut and paste" for the hundredth time. You will never understand computers. Something as incredibly simple as binary still gives you too many options. You will also never understand why people hate you, but I am going to try and explain it to you, even though I am sure this will be just as effective as telling you what an IP is.
Your shiny new iMac has more personality than you ever will.You walk around the building all day, shiftlessly looking for fault in others. You have a sharp dressed useless look about you that may have worked for your interview, but now that you actually have responsibility, you pawn it off on overworked staff, hoping their talent will cover for your glaring ineptitude. In a world of managerial evolution, you are the blue-green algae that everyone else eats and laughs at. Managers like you are a sad proof of the Dilbert principle. Seeing as this situation is unlikely to change without you getting a full frontal lobotomy reversal, I am forced to tender my resignation; however I have a few parting thoughts.
1. When someone calls you in reference to employment, it is illegal to give me a bad recommendation. The most you can say to hurt me is "I prefer not to comment." I will have friends randomly call you over the next couple of years to keep you honest, because I know you would be unable to do it on your own.
2. I have all the passwords to every account on the system, and I know every password you have used for the last five years. If you decide to get cute, I am going to publish your "favourites list", which I conveniently saved when you made me "back up" your useless files. I do believe that terms like "Lolita" are not usually viewed favourably by the administration.
3. When you borrowed the digital camera to "take pictures of your mothers birthday", you neglected to mention that you were going to take pictures of yourself in the mirror nude. Then you forgot to erase them like the techno-moron you really are. Suffice it to say I have never seen such odd acts with a ketchup bottle, but I assure you that those have been copied and kept in safe places pending the authoring of a glowing letter of recommendation. (Try to use a spell check please. I hate having to correct your mistakes.)
Thank you for your time, and I expect the letter of recommendation on my desk by 8:00am tomorrow. One word of this to anybody, and all of your little twisted repugnant obsessions will be open to the public.
Never f*** with your systems administrator. Why? Because they know what you do with all that free time!
Sincerely
Adrian Barragan
==========================================================
I will be posting here humorous materail of the highest quality .... Keep visiting this thread as it will be updated as much as possible.
============================================================
A teacher in a mathematics lecture asks a 3rd std class,
" If there are 3 birds on a tree and u shoot one of them,how many birds would remain?? ".
Johnny,the nuaghtiest of the lot, shoots up his hand.
teacher: "ok johnny ,wats the answer?".
Johnny: "none,ma'am.
teacher: "how?"
Johnny:" after hearing the shot ,all the other birds will also fly away."
Teacher:"no johnny, the answer here is 2,but I like the way u r thinking.
now johnny has a doubt.
Johhny: " teacher can i ask u a question?
Teacher: "sure"
johnny:" there are three ladies havin ice cream at the parlour.the first one is eatin it,the second is lickin it while the third one is suckin on it.can u tell which one of the ladies is married??"
teacher is terribly embaressed,but she puts on a brave face and answers.
Teacher: "I....I...... I guess the one which is suckin on the ice cream is married."
Johnny:" no ma'am,the one who has the wedding ring on her finger is married,BUT I LIKE THE WAY U R THINKIN." !!!!!
==========================================================
Author: Jonathon Horsman
Created: Fri 13 May 2005 10:30
Topic: HUMOUR
Apparently, this is an actual letter of resignation from an employee at "Zantex Computers", Australia, to his boss, J Pilgrim. His boss, known as Pilly, apparently resigned very soon afterwards!
Dear Mr Pilgrim
As an employee of an institution of higher education, I have a few very basic expectations. Chief among these is that my direct superiors have an intellect that ranges above the common ground squirrel. After your consistent and annoying harassment of my co-workers and myself during the commission of our duties, I can only surmise that you are one of the few true genetic wastes of our time.
Asking me, a network administrator, to explain every little nuance of everything I do each time you happen to stroll into my office is not only a waste of time, but also a waste of precious oxygen. I was hired because I know how to network computer systems, and you were apparently hired to provide amusement to myself and other employees, who watch you vainly attempt to understand the concept of "cut and paste" for the hundredth time. You will never understand computers. Something as incredibly simple as binary still gives you too many options. You will also never understand why people hate you, but I am going to try and explain it to you, even though I am sure this will be just as effective as telling you what an IP is.
Your shiny new iMac has more personality than you ever will.You walk around the building all day, shiftlessly looking for fault in others. You have a sharp dressed useless look about you that may have worked for your interview, but now that you actually have responsibility, you pawn it off on overworked staff, hoping their talent will cover for your glaring ineptitude. In a world of managerial evolution, you are the blue-green algae that everyone else eats and laughs at. Managers like you are a sad proof of the Dilbert principle. Seeing as this situation is unlikely to change without you getting a full frontal lobotomy reversal, I am forced to tender my resignation; however I have a few parting thoughts.
1. When someone calls you in reference to employment, it is illegal to give me a bad recommendation. The most you can say to hurt me is "I prefer not to comment." I will have friends randomly call you over the next couple of years to keep you honest, because I know you would be unable to do it on your own.
2. I have all the passwords to every account on the system, and I know every password you have used for the last five years. If you decide to get cute, I am going to publish your "favourites list", which I conveniently saved when you made me "back up" your useless files. I do believe that terms like "Lolita" are not usually viewed favourably by the administration.
3. When you borrowed the digital camera to "take pictures of your mothers birthday", you neglected to mention that you were going to take pictures of yourself in the mirror nude. Then you forgot to erase them like the techno-moron you really are. Suffice it to say I have never seen such odd acts with a ketchup bottle, but I assure you that those have been copied and kept in safe places pending the authoring of a glowing letter of recommendation. (Try to use a spell check please. I hate having to correct your mistakes.)
Thank you for your time, and I expect the letter of recommendation on my desk by 8:00am tomorrow. One word of this to anybody, and all of your little twisted repugnant obsessions will be open to the public.
Never f*** with your systems administrator. Why? Because they know what you do with all that free time!
Sincerely
Adrian Barragan
==========================================================
