How to Translate Classified Advertising
These days, prospective employees can read between the lines of your industrial-aged classified advertising copy. Maybe it’s time you changed your ads.
Just have an eye for detail."
We have no quality control.
"Competitive salary."
We stay competitive by paying less than our competitors.
"Must be deadline oriented."
You’ll be six months behind schedule on your first day.
"Join our fast-paced company."
We have no time to train you and you’ll have to introduce yourself to your co-workers.
"Seeking enthusiastic, fun, hard-working people ..."
... who still live with their parents and won’t mind our internship-level salaries.
"No phone calls please."
We’ve already filled the job; our call for résumés is a legal formality.
"Seeking candidates with a wide variety of experience."
You’ll need to replace the three people who just left the company.
"Problem-solving skills a must."
You’re walking into a company in perpetual chaos.
"Requires team leadership skills."
You’ll have the responsibility of a manager, but not the pay or respect.
These days, prospective employees can read between the lines of your industrial-aged classified advertising copy. Maybe it’s time you changed your ads.
Just have an eye for detail."
We have no quality control.
"Competitive salary."
We stay competitive by paying less than our competitors.
"Must be deadline oriented."
You’ll be six months behind schedule on your first day.
"Join our fast-paced company."
We have no time to train you and you’ll have to introduce yourself to your co-workers.
"Seeking enthusiastic, fun, hard-working people ..."
... who still live with their parents and won’t mind our internship-level salaries.
"No phone calls please."
We’ve already filled the job; our call for résumés is a legal formality.
"Seeking candidates with a wide variety of experience."
You’ll need to replace the three people who just left the company.
"Problem-solving skills a must."
You’re walking into a company in perpetual chaos.
"Requires team leadership skills."
You’ll have the responsibility of a manager, but not the pay or respect.