funny joke...

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vaibhav.scorpion

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Sardar:train me yaar rat bhar nind nahi aayi,upar ki seat mili thi.....
Sardar2:to exchange karna tha.......
Sardar1:kisse karta niche ki seat pe koi aaya hi nahi:SugarwareZ-191:
 
Banta called his friend, Santa, and told him that he recently met the woman of his dreams. Now what should he do?

Santa said, "Send her some flowers, and on the card invite her for a home-cooked meal."

Banta liked the idea, so he invited the woman.

The day after the meal Santa calls Banta and asks about the meal.

Banta, "It was a flop idea."

Santa, "Didn't the girl come to your house?"

Banta, "She did, but she refused to cook!"
 
Santa was shifting his residence. He was packing his belongings. By midnight he was too tired and dozed off with the house door open.
A sound woke him up. A thief was packing valuables. Santa found it very amusing; the thief was doing the job for him! 'When this smart guy finishes packing, I will catch him'.
 
A judge was instructing the jury that because a witness changed his statement after giving it to the police, he should not necessarily be regarded as untruthful.

"For example," the Judge said, "when I entered my chambers today, I was certain that I had my gold watch in my pocket. Then I remembered that I had left it on my nightstand in my bedroom."

When the Judge arrived home that evening, his wife asked, "Why so much urgency for your watch? Don't you think sending three men to pick it up for you was a bit extreme?"

"What?" exclaimed the Judge. "I didn't send anyone for my watch, let alone three people. What did you do?"

"I gave it to the first one," replied his wife, "he knew exactly where it was."
 
judge was instructing the jury that because a witness changed his statement after giving it to the police, he should not necessarily be regarded as untruthful.

"For example," the Judge said, "when I entered my chambers today, I was certain that I had my gold watch in my pocket. Then I remembered that I had left it on my nightstand in my bedroom."

When the Judge arrived home that evening, his wife asked, "Why so much urgency for your watch? Don't you think sending three men to pick it up for you was a bit extreme?"

"What?" exclaimed the Judge. "I didn't send anyone for my watch, let alone three people. What did you do?"

"I gave it to the first one," his wife, "he knew exactly where it was."
 
"Skinny-Dipping"

An elderly man in North Carolina had owned a
large farm for several years.

He had a large pond in the back, fixed up nice; picnic
tables, horseshoe courts, and some apple and
peach trees. The pond was properly shaped and
fixed up for swimming when it was built.

One evening the old farmer decided to go down to
the pond, as he hadn't been there for a while, and
look it over. He grabbed a five-gallon bucket to bring
back some fruit.

As he neared the pond, he heard voices shouting and
laughing with glee. As he came closer, he saw it was
a bunch of young women skinny-dipping in his pond.
He made the women aware of his presence and they
all went to the deep end.

One of the women shouted to him, "We're not coming
out until you leave!"

The old man frowned and replied, "I didn't come down
here to watch you ladies swim naked or make you get
out of the pond naked."

Holding the bucket up he said, "I'm here to feed the
alligator."
 
"The Thingie"

There was a man who really took care of his body.
He lifted weights and jogged six miles a day. One day,
he looked in the mirror and noticed he was tan all over
except his "thingie."

So he decided to do something about it. He went to the
beach, completely undressed and buried himself in the
sand, except for his thingie; which he left sticking out.

Two old ladies were walking on the beach, one using a
cane.

Upon seeing the "thingie" sticking up in the sand, she
began to move it around with her cane , remarking to
the other lady, "There is no justice in the world."

The other lady asked what she meant. She said,
"When I was 20, I was curious about it.

When I was 30, I enjoyed it.

When I was 40, I asked for it.

When I was 50, I paid for it.

When I was 60, I prayed for it.

When I was 70, I forgot about it.

Now that I'm 80, the damn things are growing
wild on the beach, and I'm too old to squat!
 
Cost of Eggplants"

A grocer put up a sign that read: "Eggplants, 25¢ ea. or
three for a dollar."

All day long, customers came in exclaiming, "Don't be
ridiculous! I should get four for a dollar!"

Meekly the grocer capitulated and packaged four
eggplants. The tailor next door had been watching
these antics and finally asked the grocer, "Aren't you
going to fix the mistake on your sign?"

"What mistake?" the grocer asked. "Before I put up
that sign no one ever bought more than one eggplant."
 
Santa:I tried calling you up so many times. I always got a message saying, “Switched off’.
Banta: Nahi Pape that’s my ‘Hello Tune’.

Ek baar ek train chalte-chalte achanak kheton mein ghus gayi... Sub upar niche ho gaya... sare log idhar dar gaye... Koi idhar gira koi udhar gira... Subko laga pata nahin ab kya hoga... magar thodi der mein train wapas patri par aa gayi aur thodi der mein ruk gayi. Logon ne socha driver se jaakar poochhte hain kya hua tha... Jaakar dekha to driver ek sardar tha... Jub usse poocha ki gaadi achanak kheton mein kaise ghus gayi to papaji bole, "O ji kuchh nahin, ik banda haath khade karke patri vich khada si... “logon ka dimag kharab ho gaya... Ek bola "Aur tune ek aad mi ko bachane ke liye itne saare logon ki jaan khatre mein daal di... Kuchal dena tha saale ko... "
Sardarji bole... "Main te wohi kar rea si... par wo banda khetan wich ghus gaya."


It was Santa's wedding anniversary.
Preeto: Shall we have butter chicken to celebrate?
Santa: Why punish the poor chicken for the mistake we have made!

Santa proposed a girl. The girl said,"I am one year elder to you". Santa replied: Never mind. I’ll marry you after one year.

Santa visited Mysore Palace. The tourist guide said,"Sir, please don’t sit there. That is Tipu Sultan’s chair".Santa: Don’t worry. I’ll get up when he comes.

Ek din ek ‘daku’ Santa ke ghar mein ghus gaya aur usse poocha,"Sona kahan hai?".
Santa: Poora ghar khali hai, jithe marzi so jao.
 
2 sardar were fixing a bomb in a car.
Sardar 1 : What would you do if the bomb explodes while fixing.
sardar 2 : Dont worry, I have a one more.
 
A big advertising man had a small daughter who came home from Sunday School one day carrying a bundle of pamphlets and cards.

"And what do you have there?" asked the man. "Oh, nothing much," answered the little girl. "Just some ads about heaven."
 
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