Workplace bullying, like childhood bullying, is the tendency of individuals or groups to use persistent aggressive or unreasonable behaviour against a co-worker or subordinate. Workplace bullying can include such tactics as verbal, nonverbal, psychological, physical abuse and humiliation. This type of aggression is particularly difficult because, unlike the typical forms of school bullying, workplace bullies often operate within the established rules and policies of their organization and their society. Bullying in the workplace is in the majority of cases reported as having been perpetrated by management and takes a wide variety of forms. Bullying can be covert or overt.
If you are dealing with a workplace bully:
Seek the advice of a trusted mentor who may have dealt with this situation before.
If you can, confront the bully in a professional manner, but only if you’re physical safety isn't threatened. Don't sink to his or her level. Stay as calm as possible. Don't yell or threaten. Often bullies are looking for this type of confrontation and it will encourage them to come back for more. Don't cry or show weakness either. That's usually what the bully is after in the first place.
Don't try to win over other people to your side. The way in which you handle the situation will allow them to make their own judgments.
Don't allow the bully to intimidate you or make you feel bad about yourself. You know your true worth. Don't forget what that is.
Do your job and do it well. The workplace bully wants you to fail and when you don't him or she will be defeated.
Make sure your superiors are aware of your work. Workplace bullies often try to spread the word that you are not doing your job well and will even go as far as to report the smallest infractions to your boss. Your actions will carry more weight than his or her words.
Don't allow the bully to isolate you from your colleagues. Keep up your workplace friendships.
Race & Workplace Bullying: 2010 WBI Survey says:
Bullied Now
Been Bullied
Combined
Witnessed Only
No Bullying Experience
Hispanics
12.7%
23.5%
40.2%
12.3%
51.4%
African-Americans
11
27.6
38.6
7.9
51.5
Whites
7.9
25.7
33.6
16.8
49.6
Asians
3.8
9.7
13.5
37.6
48.9
2010 National Prevalence Statistics
8.8
25.7
34.5
15.5
49.6
It's important to trust your instincts in situations like this. If you feel bullied, you probably are a victim. But look closely at what is happening around the person in question. Are you not the only one experiencing this?
When something happens, write it down. Keep a log of every insult, every back stabbing move they make. Documentation is a very powerful tool. Write down dates and times and exact quotes if you can. Sounds silly but is very useful.
It's easy to let someone push your buttons and fly off the handle at them. Don't let this happen. Don't stoop to their level. Remember that this is a professional environment and show some respect for your work. Try your best to ignore the bully and their actions. Don't let yourself be baited. Chances are, the bully is looking for a reaction. When they don't get one, they may eventually stop.
It may seem like a contradiction after the last point, but don't let you be walked on. You can ignore the bully without sitting down in the middle of the road. What I mean is this: find your voice. If someone is piling irrelevant work on you, respectfully say no. It will take some time to find the right way of doing this, but it can be done. If you are being left out of meetings, bring it to the attention of the group. Tell them how it makes you feel and what the consequences are to the job. Keep your interactions professional and respectful always, no matter what they hurl at you.
If you've done all you feel you can do, take the issue to your Human Resources Manager. Take your documentation with you and address the issue from a work perspective. Elaborate on how the behavior is damaging your work. Inform them of how important the issue is, stressing your desire to continue working in a comfortable, safe environment.
Once you've asked for help and nothing changes, you may need to consider the possibility of leaving. No one advocates such a decision because it simply reinforces to bullies that they can "push" people out with their behavior. But you have to think of yourself in all of this. It's not worth it to stay in a negative environment just to prove a point. If the bullying is damaging you physically you need to seek professional help. There are also legal steps you can take to help you. Investigate your options thoroughly before making any decisions. And always remember that you deserve a friendly, peaceful environment to work in.
The next time you get bullied and you get irritated keep in mind the above points and you will feel better and will have confidence in facing these people.