CoRpoRAte lESSonS!!

An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing.
A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him, “Can I also sit like you and do nothing?”

The eagle answered, “Sure, why not.”
So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and rested.

All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.

Moral of the story:

To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.
 
Boy 2 doctor:-
Meri girlfriend pregnant hai. .
Par maine to protection li thi...
Doctor:-
Ek kahani suno
Ek shikari ek Gun ki jagah ek umbrella le
Gaya...
Achanak Lion samne aaya toh usne umbrella
ka
handle khicha aur fire kiya...
Lion wahi mar Gaya...
Boy:-
Impossible kisi aur ne goli mari hogi...
Doctor :-
Ecaxtly ...!
 
One lesson from my side guys.. :)

Position or Performance?

A Priest dies & is awaiting his turn in line at the Heaven's Gates.

Ahead of him is a guy, nattily dressed, in dark sun glasses, a loud shirt, leather jacket & jeans.

God asks him: Please tell me who are you, so that I may know whether to admit you into the kingdom of Heaven or not?

The guy replies: I am Pandi, Auto driver from Chennai!

God consults his ledger, smiles & says to Pandi: Please take this silken robe & gold scarf & enter the Kingdom of Heaven ..

Now it is the priest's turn. He stands erect and speaks out in a booming voice: I am Pope's Assistant so & so, Head Priest of the so & so Church for the last 40 years.

God consults his ledger & says to the Priest: Please take this cotton robe & enter the Kingdom of Heaven ...

'Just a minute,' says the agonized Priest. 'How is it that a foul mouthed, rash driving Auto Driver is given a Silken robe & a Golden scarf and me, a Priest, who's spent his whole life preaching your Name & goodness has to make do with a Cotton robe?'

'Results my friend, results,' shrugs God.

'While you preached, people SLEPT; but when he drove his Auto, people PRAYED'

Moral of the story: It's PERFORMANCE & not POSITION that ultimately counts.
 
One more ...

An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing. A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him, "Can I also sit like you and do nothing?"
The eagle answered: "Sure , why not."
So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.

Moral of the story
To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.
 
The glass

The Optimist says:
"The glass is half full."
The Pessimist says:
"The glass is half empty."
The Marketing Consultant says:
"Your glass needs re-sizing." :D
 
great
asimt said:
Father: I want u to marry a girl of my choice

Son: No......

Father: But girl is Bill Gates Daughter.

Son : Then ok

Father approaches to Bill Gates.................

Father: I have a husband for your daughter.

Bill Gates: My daughter is too young to marry.

Father: But my son is Vice President of World Bank.

Then ok

Father goes to President of World Bank

Father: Appoint my son as VP in your bank

President: No

Father: But he is son-in-law of Bill Gates

President: Then ok

THIS IS BUSINESS:)
Click to expand...
great bussiness... but try to apply it in your life .lol
 
roshcrazy said:
You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say, "I'm fantastic with girls." That's Direct Marketing.

You're at a party with a bunch of friends and see a gorgeous girl. One of your friends goes up to her and pointing at you says, "He's fantastic with girls." That's Advertising.

You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and get her telephone number. The next day you call and say, "Hi, I'm fantastic with girls." That's Telemarketing.

You're at a party and see a gorgeous girl. You get up and straighten your tie, you walk up to her and pour her a drink. You open the door for her, pick up her bag after she drops it, offer her a ride, and then say, "By the way, I'm fantastic with girls." That's Public Relations.

You're at a party and see a gorgeous girl. She walks up to you and says, "I hear you're fantastic with girls." That's Brand Recognition. :bigsmile:
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wow... very standard differentiation.
 
can i sit on 4th floor doing nothing?
arti.iiitm said:
One more ...

An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing. A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him, "Can I also sit like you and do nothing?"
The eagle answered: "Sure , why not."
So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.

Moral of the story
To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.
[/QUOTE
Click to expand...
 
in.aditya said:
Government Seal



Official Announcement from USA



The federal government today announced that it is changing its emblem from an Eagle to a Condom because it more accurately reflects the government's political stance. A condom allows for inflation, halts production, destroys the next generation, protects a bunch of pricks, and gives you a sense of security while you're actually being screwed!



It just doesn't get more accurate than that.




--------------------------------------------------------------------------------



Position or Performance?



A Priest dies & is awaiting his turn in line at the Heaven's Gates.



Ahead of him is a guy, nattily dressed, in dark sun glasses, a loud shirt, leather jacket & jeans.



God asks him: Please tell me who are you, so that I may know whether to admit you into the kingdom of Heaven or not?



The guy replies: I am Pandi, Auto driver from Chennai!



God consults his ledger, smiles & says to Pandi: Please take this silken robe & gold scarf & enter the Kingdom of Heaven ..



Now it is the priest's turn. He stands erect and speaks out in a booming voice: I am Pope's Assistant so & so, Head Priest of the so & so Church for the last 40 years.



God consults his ledger & says to the Priest: Please take this cotton robe & enter the Kingdom of Heaven ...



'Just a minute,' says the agonized Priest. 'How is it that a foul mouthed, rash driving Auto Driver is given a Silken robe & a Golden scarf and me, a Priest, who's spent his whole life preaching your Name & goodness has to make do with a Cotton robe?'



'Results my friend, results,' shrugs God.



'While you preached, people SLEPT; but when he drove his Auto, people PRAYED'



Moral of the story: It's PERFORMANCE & not POSITION that ultimately counts.
Click to expand...

hahahhahahha, make people pray hahhaha
 
roshcrazy said:
...CORPORATE LESSON - 1

There were these 4 guys, a Russian, a German, an American and a French, who found this small genie bottle.

When they rubbed the bottle, a genie appeared.
Thankful that the 4 guys had released him out of the bottle, he said, "Next to you all are 4 swimming pools, I will give each of you a wish.
When you run towards the pool and jump, you shout what you want the pool of water to become,and your wish will come true."

The French wanted to start first.He ran towards the pool, jumped and shouted WINE".
The pool immediately changed into a pool of wine.The Frenchman was so happy swimming and drinking from the pool.

Next is the Russian's turn, he did the same and shouted, "VODKA" and immersed himself into a pool of vodka.The German was next and he jumped and shouted, "BEER".
He was so contented with His beer pool.

The last is the American.He was running towards the pool when suddenly he steps on a banana peel.
He slipped towards the pool and shouted, "SHIT!!!!!!!........."


MORAL OF THE STORY:> Mind your language, you never know what it will Land you in.


CORPORATE LESSON - 2

A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower & the doorbell rings.
After a few seconds of arguing over who should go and answer the doorbell,the wife gives up, quickly wraps herself up in a towel and runs downstairs.

When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next door neighbor.
Before she says a word, Bob says, "I'll give you $ 800 just to drop that towel that you have
on". After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob. Bob has a close look at her for a few seconds, hands over $800 and quietly leaves.

Confused, but excited about her good fortune,the woman wraps back up in the towel and goes upstairs. When she gets back to the bathroom, her husband asks from the shower "Who was that?" "It was Bob the next door neighbour," she replies. "Great," the husband says, "did he say anything about the $! 800 he owes me?"


MORAL OF THE STORY: Share critical credit information with your stakeholders to prevent avoidable exposure! :SugarwareZ-191:
Click to expand...
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