Business one-liners

savio13

savio13

Savio Cabral
A President of a democracy is a man who is always ready, willing, and able to lay down your life for his country.

A backscratcher will always find new itches; a brown-noser will always find new sense.

A bad day fishing is better than a good day at work.

A bird in the bush usually has a friend in there with him.

A bird in the hand is always safer than one overhead.

A bird in the hand is dead.

A bird in the hand makes it hard to blow your nose.

A boss with no humor is like a job that is no fun.

A clean tie attracts the soup of the day.

A closed mouth gathers no foot.
 
Business one-liners 02

A committee is a group that keeps minutes and loses hours. - Milton Berle

A committee is twelve men doing the work of one.

A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.

A consensus means that everyone agrees to say collectively what no one believes individually. - Abba Eban

A conservative is a man who believes that nothing should be done for the first time.

A conservative is a man with two perfectly good legs who has never learned to walk. - Franklin D. Roosevelt

A consultant is an ordinary person a long way from home.

A coup that is known in advance is a coup that does not take place.

A couple of months in the lab can often save a couple of hours in the library.

A crisis is when you cannot say "let's just forget the whole thing."
 
Business one-liners 03

A day without sunshine is like night.

A disagreeable task is its own reward.

A donkey is a horse designed by a study team.

A fail-safe circuit will destroy others.

A flying particle will seek the nearest eye.

A fool and his money are soon elected.

A fool and his money stabilize the economy.

A free agent is anything but.

A friend in need is a pest indeed.

A geophysicist is not drunk as long as he can hang onto a single blade of grass and not fall off the face of the earth.
 
Business one-liners 04

A good scapegoat is hard to find.

A good slogan can stop analysis for fifty years.

A good solution can be successfully applied to almost any problem.

A lack of leadership is no substitute for inaction.

A little ambiguity never hurt anyone.

A little humility is arrogance.

A little inaccuracy saves a world of explanation.

A little ignorance can go a long way.

A man of quality does not fear a woman seeking equality.

A man should be greater than some of his parts.
 
Business one-liners 05

A memorandum is written not to inform the reader, but to protect the writer.

A pat on the back is only a few inches from a kick in the pants.

A pipe gives a wise man time to think and a fool something to put in his mouth.

A penny saved has not been spent.

A penny saved is an economic breakthrough.

A penny saved is ridiculous.

A problem cannot be solved using the same level of thinking that created it. (In other words, if you screw it up, you can't fix it.)

A real person has two reasons for doing anything...a good reason and the real reason.

A short cut is the longest distance between two points.

A short line outside a building becomes a long line inside.
 
Business one-liners 06

A stagnant science is at a standstill.

A theory is better than its explanation.

A transistor protected by a fast-acting fuse will protect the fuse by blowing first.

A well-adjusted person is one who makes the same mistake twice without getting nervous.

Ability is a good thing but stability is even better.

Ability is like a check, it has no value unless it is cashed.

Absolutum obsoletum. (If it works, it is out of date.) - Stafford Beer

According to my calculations, the problem doesn't exist.

According to the official figures, 43% of all statistics are totally worthless.

Adding manpower to a late software product makes it later.
 
Business one-liners 07

After all is said and done, usually more is said than done.

After any unit has been completely assembled, extra components will be found on the bench.

Afternoon: that part of the day we spend worrying about how we wasted the morning.

Aiming for the least common denominator sometimes causes division by zero.

All American cars are basically Chevrolets.

All general statements are false; think about it.

All generalizations are false, including this one.

All generalizations are useless, including this one.

All good things must come to an end, I just want to know when they start!

All great discoveries are made by mistake.
 
Business one-liners 07

After all is said and done, usually more is said than done.

After any unit has been completely assembled, extra components will be found on the bench.

Afternoon: that part of the day we spend worrying about how we wasted the morning.

Aiming for the least common denominator sometimes causes division by zero.

All American cars are basically Chevrolets.

All general statements are false; think about it.

All generalizations are false, including this one.

All generalizations are useless, including this one.

All good things must come to an end, I just want to know when they start!

All great discoveries are made by mistake.
 
Business one-liners 08

All I ask is the chance to prove that money cannot make me happy.

All inanimate objects can move just enough to get in your way.

All our dreams can come true if we have the courage to pursue them. - Walt Disney

All probabilities are really 50%. Either a thing will happen or it won't.

All rights left. All lefts reserved. All reserves removed. All removes right.

All syllogisms have three parts; therefore this is not a syllogism.

All the world is a stage and most of us are desperately unrehearsed.

All things being equal, all things are never equal.

All things being equal, fat people use more soap.

All true wisdom is found on T-shirts.
 
Business one-liners 09

All warranties expire upon payment of invoice.

All work and no play, will make you a manager.

Almost everything in life is easier to get into than to get out of.

Always hire a rich attorney.

Always leave room to add an explanation if it doesn't work out.

Always listen to experts. They'll tell what can't be done and why. Then do it.

Always remember to pillage BEFORE you burn!

Always try to stop talking before people stop listening.

Am I good at delegating? You Bet! I always find someone to blame!

Ambiguity is invariant.
 
Business one-liners 10

Ambition is a poor excuse for not having sense enough to be lazy.

An executive will always return to work from lunch early if no one takes him.

An error in the premise will appear in the conclusion.

An object at rest will always be in the wrong place.

An object in motion will always be headed in the wrong direction.

An original idea can never emerge from committee in its original form.

An ounce of application is worth a ton of abstraction.

An ounce of pretension is worth a pound of manure.

An ounce of rejection is worse than a pound of "sure".

Any argument carried far enough will end up in semantics.
 
Business one-liners 11

Any change looks terrible at first.

Any error in any calculation will be in the direction of the most harm.

Any given program will expand to fill all available memory.

Any given program, when running, is obsolete.

Any good strategy will seem ridiculous by the time it is implemented. - Dogbert, in Scott Adams' "Build a Better Life by Stealing Office Supplies: Dogbert's Big Book of Business"

Any horizontal surface is soon piled up.

Any improbable event which would create maximum confusion.

Any issue worth debating is worth avoiding altogether.

Any landing you can walk away from is a good one.

Any line, however short, is still too long.
 
Business one-liners 12

Any minimum criteria set will be the maximum value used.

Any producing entity is the last to use its own product.

Any simple idea will be worded in the most complicated way.

Any smoothly functioning technology is indistinguishable from a "rigged" demo.

Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic.

Any task worth doing was worth doing yesterday.

Any technology distinguishable from magic is insufficiently advanced.

Any theory can be made to fit any facts by means of appropriate additional assumptions.

Any time things appear to be going better, you have overlooked something.

Any time you wish to demonstrate something, the number of faults is proportional to the number of viewers.

Any tool dropped while repairing a car will roll underneath to the exact center.
 
Business one-liners 13

Any wire cut to length will be too short.

Anybody can win, unless there happens to be a second entry.

Anyone can admit they were wrong; the true test is admitting it to someone else.

Anyone who is popular is bound to be disliked.

Anyone who makes an absolute statement is a fool.

Anything created must necessarily be inferior to the essence of the creator. - Claude Shouse

Anything good in life is either illegal, immoral, or fattening.

Anything hit with a big enough hammer will fall apart.

Anything in parentheses can be ignored.

Anything is easier to take apart than to put together.
 
Business one-liners 14

Anything is possible, but nothing is easy.

Anything labeled "New" and/or "Improved" isn't. The label means the price went up. The label "All New", "Completely New", or "Great New" means the price went way up.

Anything that doesn't eat you today is saving you for tomorrow.

Anything that is designed to do more than one thing cannot do any of them well.

Anything you try to fix will take longer and cost more than you thought.

Anything worth fighting for is worth fighting dirty for.

Appearances are not everything; it just looks like they are.

Artificial intelligence usually beats real stupidity.

As long as the answer is right, who cares if the question is wrong?

As soon as the stewardess serves the coffee, the airline encounters turbulence.
 
Business one-liners 15

As the economy gets better, everything else gets worse.

As they say in Beirut, Shiite happens.

Asking dumb questions is easier than correcting dumb mistakes.

Assumption is the mother of all foul-ups.

At any level of traffic, any delay is intolerable.

Automatic simply means that you can't repair it yourself.

Bad news drives good news out of the media.

Bare feet magnetize sharp metal objects so they always point upward from the floor.

Batman is the hero any of us could be, given determination, exercise, and deep psychological trauma. - Chris Jarocha-Ernst

Be content with what you've got, but be sure you've got plenty.
 
Business one-liners 16

Beauty is only skin deep, ugly goes clear to the bone.

Before you give a colleague a piece of your mind, be sure you can spare it.

Being a good communicator means people find out what is really wrong with you.

Believing is seeing.

Better latent than never.

Beware of a dark-haired man with a loud tie.

Beware of a tall dark man with a spoon up his nose.

Beware of altruism. It is based on self-deception, the root of all evil.

Beware of one who works hard to learn something, learns it, and finds themself no wiser than before. They are full of murderous resentment of people who are ignorant without having come by their ignorance the hard way. - Sir John A. MacDonald, Canada's first prime minister

Beware of those wearing suspenders with belts.
 
Business one-liners 17

Beware the fury of a patient man. - John Dryden

Beware the man of one book. - St. Thomas Aquinas

Beware the wrath of a patient person.

Blessed are those who go around in circles, for they shall be known as wheels.

Blessed is he who expects no gratitude, for he shall not be disappointed.

Blessed is he who has reached the point of no return and knows it for he shall enjoy living.

Boldly going forward because we cannot find reverse.

Build a system that even a fool can use, and only a fool will want to use it.

Build something foolproof and every fool will use it.

Bureaucracy: a method for transforming energy into solid waste.
 
Business one-liners 18

By the time you can make ends meet, they've moved the ends.

By the time you have the right answers, no one is asking you questions.

By working faithfully eight hours a day you may eventually get to work twelve hours a day. - Robert Frost

Cant produces countercant.

Capitalism is based on the assumption that you can win.

Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

Chipped dishes never break.

Clearly stated instructions will consistently produce multiple interpretations.

Cocaine is nature's way of telling you you have too much money.

Commit suicide. A hundred thousand lemmings cannot be wrong.
 
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