Amar's Fun d0o Z0nE

amardeep.rishi

amardeep.rishi

Par 100 posts (V.I.P)
Read this story I am totally agreed with ramu. what u think?


In some remote village of india, one masterji is teaching the mahabharat
katha to a class. he is at the 'Krishnajanma' part of it. So let him
continue instead of me....

Masterji : Toh bachcho, Kansa heard the akashwani that his
sister's 8th child is goin to kill him. He was furious. he
ordered to put Vasudev and Devki behind the bars. First son is
born, and Kansa kills him by poisoning. Second one is born and
Kansa throws him off the mountain peak. Third one is born...
...Now Ramu, who is smartest of the lot puts up his hand.
Masterji (sounding nervous and confused) : Ramu bete, whole
india does not have doubt in mahabharata and how come u have
one?

Ramu: Masterji, if Kansa knew that Devaki's 8th child was goin
to kill him, why the hell did he put Vasudev and Devaki in the
same cell...?

I am totally agreed with ramu. what u think?
 
A French teacher was explaining to her class that in French, unlike

English, nouns are designated as either masculine or feminine.

masculine: ''le crayon.''

A student asked, ''What gender is 'computer'?''

Instead of giving the answer,the teacher split the class into two

groups, male and female, and asked them to decide for themselves

whether ''computer'' should be a masculine or a feminine noun.

Each group was asked to give four reasons for its recommendation.

The men's group decided that ''computer''should definitely be of the

feminine gender (''la computer''),because:

1. No one but their creator understands their internal logic;

2. The native language they useto communicate with other computers is

incomprehensible to everyone else;

3. Even the smallest mistakes are stored in long term memory for

possible later retrieval; and

4. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending


half your paycheck on accessories for it.

(and now .... this gets better!)

The women's group, however, concluded that computers should be

Masculine (''le computer''), because:

1. In order to do anything with them, you have to turn them on;

2. They have a lot of data but still can't think for themselves;

3. They are supposed to help you solve problems, but half the time

they ARE the problem; and

4. As soon as you commit to one,you realize that if you had waited a

little longer, you could have gotten a better model.

The women won.



>>
"Life has no undo, reset, or back button!"
 
A young man wished to marry the farmer's beautiful
daughter. He went to
the farmer to ask his permission. The farmer looked
him over and said, "Son, go stand out in that field.
I'm going to release three bulls, one at a time. If
you can catch the tail of any one of the three bulls,
you can marry my daughter."

The young man stood in the pasture awaiting the first
bull. The barn door opened and out ran the biggest,
meanest-looking bull he had ever seen. He decided that
one of the next bulls had to be a better choice than
this one, so he ran over to the side and let the bull
pass through the pasture out the back gate. The barn
door opened again.

Unbelievable. He had never seen anything so big and
fierce in his life.
It stood pawing the ground, grunting, slinging
slobber as it eyed him.
Whatever the next bull was like, it had to be a better
choice than this
one. He ran to the fence and let the bull pass through
the pasture, out
the back gate.

The door opened a third time. A smile came across his
face. This was the weakest, scrawniest little bull he
had ever seen. This one was his bull. As the bull came
running by, he positioned himself just right and
jumped at just the exact moment. He grabbed... but the
bull had no tail!

" Life is full of opportunities. Some will be easy to
take advantage of, some will be difficult. But once we
let them pass (often in hopes of something better),
those opportunities may never again be available. So
always grab the first opportunity."
 
abhi shaadi ka pehla hi saal tha,

khushi ke maare mera bura haal tha,

khushiyaan kuch yoon umad rahin thi,

ki sambhale nahi sambhal rahi thi,



subah subah madam ka chai le kar aana

thoda sharmate hue hume neend se jagana,

wo pyaar bhara hath humare ballon main phirana,

muskurate hue kehna ki darling chai to pi lo,

jaldi se ready ho jao, aap ko office bhi hai jana.



gharwali bhagwan ka roop le kar aayi thi,

dil or dimag par poori tarah chai thi,

saans bhi lete thy to naam usi ka hota tha,

ik pal bhi door jeena dushwar hota tha.



5 saal baad........



subah subah madam ka chai le kar aana,

table par rakh kar jor se chilana,

aaj office jao to munna ko

school chodte hue jana..............



ek baar phir wohi awaaj ayi,:fear:

kya baat hai abhi tak chodi nahi charpai,

agar munna late ho gaya to dekh lena,

munna ki teachers ko phir khud hi sambhaal lena.



na jane gharwali kaisa roop le kar aayi thi,

dil aur dimaag par kali ghata chai thi,

sans bhi lete hai to uni ka khayal hota hai,

har samay jehan main ek hi sawal hota hai,

kya kabhi wo din lot ke ayenge,

humm ek bar phir kuwaaren ban payenge
 
1. Regular naps prevent old age... especially if you take them while
driving.


2. Having one child makes you a parent; having two makes you a referee.


3. Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and the
other is the husband!


4. They said we should all pay our tax with a smile. I tried- but they
wanted cash.


5. A child's greatest period of growth is the month after you've purchased
new school uniforms.


6. Don't feel bad. A lot of people have no talent.


7. Don't marry the person you want to live with, marry the one you cannot
live without... but whatever you do, you'll regret it later.


8. You can't buy love. . But you pay heavily for it.


9. True friends stab you in the front.


10. Forgiveness is giving up my right to hate you for hurting me.


11. Bad officials are elected by good citizens who do not vote.


12. Laziness is nothing more than the habit of resting before you get
tired.


13. My wife and I always compromise. I admit I'm wrong and she agrees with
me.


14. Those who can't laugh at themselves leave the job to others.


15. Ladies first. Pretty ladies sooner.


16. It doesn't matter how often a married man changes his job, he still
ends up with the same boss.


17. They call our language the mother tongue because the father seldom
gets to speak.

18. Saving is the best thing. Especially when your parents have done it
for you.


19. Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools talk because
they have to say something.


20. Real friends are the ones who survive transitions between address
books

*
 
"Something About Wives"

. My wife dresses to kill. She also cooks the same way. - Henry
Youngman
. My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met. -
Rodney Dangerfield
. A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong. -
Milton Berle
. I bought my wife a new car. She called and said, "There was
water in the carburetor." I asked her, "Where's the car?" She replied,"
In the lake." - Henry Youngman
. The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret. - Henny
Youngman
. After a quarrel, a wife said to her husband, "You know, I was a
fool when I married you." The husband replied, "Yes, dear, but I was in
love and didn't notice."
. When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to
let him keep her.
. I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months - I don't like to
interrupt her.:pound:
. My girlfriend told me I should be more affectionate. So I got
myself two girlfriends.
. A man said his credit card was stolen but he decided not to
report it since the thief was spending much less than his wife did.
. Man is incomplete until he is married. Then he is finished.
. A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to
get married?" The father replied, "I don't know son, I'm still paying.":laugh:
. Young Son: Is it true, Dad, that in some parts of Africa, a Man
doesn't know his wife until he marries her? Dad: That happens in every
country, son.:big_grin:
 
Subject: ONE BEDROOM FLAT..


ONE BEDROOM FLAT... A LIFE..


ONE BEDROOM FLAT... AN INDIAN SOFTWARE ENGINEER'S LIFE...- A Bitter Reality

As the dream of most parents I had acquired a degree in Software Engineer and joined a company based in USA, the land of braves and opportunity.
When I arrived in the USA, it was as if a dream had come true. Here at last I was in the place where I want to be. I decided I would be staying in this country for about Five years in which time I would have earned enough money to settle down in India. My father was a government employee and after his retirement, the only asset he could acquire was a decent one bedroom flat. I wanted to do some thing more than him. I started feeling homesick and
lonely as the time passed. I used to call home and speak to my parents every week using cheap international phone cards. Two years passed, two
years of Burgers at McDonald's and pizzas and discos and 2 years watching the foreign exchange rate getting happy whenever the Rupee value went down.

Finally I decided to get married. Told my parents that I have only 10 days of holidays and everything must be done within these 10 days. I got my
ticket booked in the cheapest flight. Was jubilant and was actually enjoying hopping for gifts for all my friends back home. If I miss anyone then
there will be talks. After reaching home I spent home one week going through all the photographs of girls and as the time was getting shorter I was forced to select one candidate. In-laws told me, to my surprise, that I would have to get married in 2-3 days, as I will not get anymore holidays. After the marriage, it was time to return to USA, after giving some money to my parents and telling the neighbors to look after them, we returned to USA.

My wife enjoyed this country for about two months and then she started feeling lonely. The frequency of calling India increased to twice in a week sometimes 3 times a week. Our savings started diminishing. After two more years we started to have kids. Two lovely kids, a boy and a girl, were
gifted to us by the almighty. Every time I spoke to my parents, they asked me to come to India so that they can see their grand-children. Every year I decide to go to India. But part work part monetary conditions prevented it. Years went by and visiting India was a distant dream. Then suddenly one day I got a message that my parents were seriously sick. I tried but I couldn't get any holidays and thus could not go to India. The next message I got was my parents had passed away and as there was no one to do the last rights the society members had done whatever they could. I was depressed. My parents had passed away without seeing their grand children.

After couple more years passed away, much to my children's dislike and my wife's joy we returned to India to settle down. I started to look for a
suitable property, but to my dismay my savings were short and the property prices had gone up during all these years. I had to return to the USA.
My wife refused to come back with me and my children refused to stay in India. My 2 children and I returned to USA after promising my wife
I would be back for good after two years. Time passed by, my daughter decided to get married to an American and my son was happy living in USA. I decided that had enough and wound-up every thing and returned to India. I had just enough money to buy a decent 02 bedroom flat in a well-developed locality.

Now I am 60 years old and the only time I go out of the flat is for the routine visit to the nearby temple. My faithful wife has also left me and gone to the holy abode. Sometimes I wondered was it worth all this? My father, even after staying in India, had a house to his name and I too have the same nothing more. I lost my parents and children for just ONE EXTRA BEDROOM. Looking out from the window I see a lot of children dancing. This damned
cable TV has spoiled our new generation and these children are losing their values and culture because of it. I get occasional cards from my children
asking I am alright. Well at least they remember me. Now perhaps after I die it will be the neighbors again who will be performing my last rights, God Bless them. But the question still remains 'was all this worth it?'

I am still searching for an answer................!!!!

--- By an Indian SE who was in US.
 
To
The Principle,
Bela School ,
Ludhiana

Sir ,
Binti eh hai ki aj kal school vich dil nahi lagda te raat nu neend nahi
andi kyonki school vich kudiyan ghat ne,
Jo hai oh sab eniyan ajeeb ne ki dekhan nu ji ni karda.Te madama v koih
khas pataka nahi hai.
Hor nahii kuch taan receptionist hi sohni rakh lavo taa ki nave bache
admission laan leyyee motivate ho sakan .

Aap ji da bahut dhanwadi howanga.

Your faithfully,
Boys Association
 
A winner is NOT one who NEVER FAILS......but one who NEVER QUITS!!!"

Need proof? Read on...


Officials rejected a candidate for a news broadcasters post since his voice was not fit for a news broadcaster.
He was also told that with his obnoxiously long name,
he would never be famous. He is

>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>





Amitabh Bachchan. (Hindi Films Super Star)
-------------------------------------------
In 1962, four nervous young musicians played their first record audition for the executives of the Decca Recording Company.
The executives were not impressed. While turning down this group of musicians,
one executive said, "We don't like their sound. Groups of guitars are
on the way out."
The group was called
The Beatles.
--------------------------------------------
In 1944, Emmeline Snively, director of the Blue Book Modeling Agency told modeling hopeful Norma Jean Baker,
"You'd better learn secretarial work or else get married".
She went on and became
Marilyn Monroe.
----------------------------------------------
In 1954, Jimmy Denny, manager of the Grand Ole Opry, fired a singer after one performance. He told him,
"You ain't goin' nowhere son. You ought to go back to drivin' a truck".
He went on to become
Elvis Presley.
-- - --------------------------------------------
A small boy--the fifth amongst seven siblings of a poor father,
was selling newspapers in a small village to earn his living.
He was not exceptionally smart at school but was fascinated by
religion and rockets.
The first rocket he built crashed. A missile that he built crashed
multiple times
and he was made a butt of ridicule.
He is the person to have scripted the Space Odyssey of India
single-handedly. He is
Dr. A.P.J. Abdul Kalam. President of India.
-------------------------------------------
When
Alexander Graham Bell invented the telephone in 1876,
it did not ring off the hook with calls from potential backers.
After making a demonstration call, President Rutherford Hayes said,
"That's an amazing invention, but who would ever want to see one of them?"
-------------------------------------------
When
Thomas Edison invented the light bulb,
he tried over 2000 experiments before he got it to work.
A young reporter asked him how it felt to fail so many times.
He said, "I never failed once. I invented the light bulb.
It just happened to be a 2000-step process".
-------------------------------------------
In the 1940s, another young inventor named
Chester Carlson
took his idea to 20 corporations, including some of the biggest in
the country.
They all turned him down. In 1947, after 7 long years of rejections,
he finally got a tiny company in Rochester, NY, the Haloid Company,
to purchase the rights to his invention--an electrostatic
paper-copying process.
Haloid became
Xerox Corporation.
------------------------------------------
A little girl--the 20th of 22 children,
was born prematurely and her survival was doubtful. When she was 4 years old,
she contracted double pneumonia and scarlet fever,
which left her with aparalyzed left leg.

At age 9, she removed the metal leg brace she had been dependent on and began to
walk without it. By 13 she had developed a rhythmic walk,
which doctors said was a miracle. That same year she decided to become a runner.
She entered a race and came in last. For the next few years every race she entered,
she came in last.

Everyone told her to quit, but she kept on running. One day she actually won a race.
And then another. From then on she won every race she entered.
Eventually this little girl--
Wilma Rudolph, went on to win three Olympic gold medals.
----------------------------------------
A schoolteacher scolded a boy for not paying attention to his mathematics
and for not being able to solve simple problems.
She told him that you would not become anybody in life.
The boy was
Albert Einstein


Don't say you're not important,
It simply isn't true, The fact that you were born, Is proof,
God has a plan for you. The path may seem unclear right now,
But one day you will see, That all that came before, Was truly meant to be. God wrote the book that is your life, that’s all you need to know.
Each day that you are living, Was written long ago.
God only writes best sellers, So be proud of who you are,
Your character is important, In this book you are the "Star."
Enjoy the novel as it reads, It will stand throughout the ages,
Savor each chapter as you go, Taking time to turn the pages.

You can make a difference,
You see, it's up to you!
 
A motorist was driving down the highway and all of a sudden he hit a
parrot. He pulled over, picked the poor parrot who was still alive but
unconscious. He decided to take him home. When the motorist got home,
he put the parrot in a cage, leaving him some bread and water inside.

When the parrot regained consciousness, he looked around and said:
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"BARS................
...............bread, water.............
Oh my God!! I have killed the motorist!!! :fear:
 
Evergreen Memories!!!

Gone are the days
when the school reopened in June,
and we settled in our new desks and benches.

Gone are the days
when we queued up in book depot,
and got our new books and notes.

Gone are the days
when we wanted two Sundays and no Mondays, yet
managed to line up daily for the morning prayers.

Gone are the days
we learnt writing with slates and pencils, and
Progressed To fountain pens and ball pens and then Micro tips.

Gone are the days
We began drawing with crayons and evolved to
Co lour pencils and finally sketch pens.

Gone are the days
we started calculating first with tables and then with
Clarke's tables and advanced to calculators and computers.

Gone are the days
when we chased one another in the corridors in
Intervals, and returned to the classrooms drenched in sweat.

Gone are the days
when we had lunch in classrooms, corridors,
Playgrounds, under the trees and even in cycle sheds.

Gone are the days
when all the colors in the world,
Decorated the campus on the Second Saturdays.

Gone are the days
when a single P.T. period in the week's Time Table,
Was awaited more eagerly than the monsoons.

Gone are the days
when cricket was played with writing pads as bats,
and Neckties and socks rolled into balls.

Gone are the days
when few played "kabadi" and "Kho-Kho" in scorching sun,
while others simply played "book cricket" in the Confines of classroom.

Gone are the days
of fights but no conspiracies,
Of Competitions but seldom jealousy.

Gone are the days
when we used to watch Live Cricket telecast,
in the opposite house in Intervals and Lunch breaks.

Gone are the days
when few rushed at 4:45pm to
"Conquer" window seats in our School bus.

Gone are the days Of Sports Day,
and the annual School Day,
and the one-month long preparations for them.

Gone are the days of the stressful Quarterly,
Half Yearly and Annual Exams, and the most enjoyed
holidays after them.

Gone are the days
of tenth and twelfth standards, when we
spent almost the whole year writing revision tests.

Gone are the days
we learnt, we enjoyed, we played, we won, we lost,
we laughed, we cried, we fought, we thought.

Gone are the days
with so much fun in them, so many friends,
So much experience, all this and more.

Gone are the days when we used to talk for hours with our friends.
Now we don't have time to say a HI.

Gone are the days when we played games on the road.
Now we work on the road with laptop.

Gone are the days when we saw stars shining at night.
Now we see stars when our effort doesn't work.

Gone are the days when we sat to chat with friends on grounds.
Now we chat in chat rooms.....

Gone are the days where we studied just to pass.
Now we study to save our job

Gone are the days where we had no money in our pockets and fun filled on our hearts
Now we have the ATM as well as credit card but with an empty heart

Gone are the days where we shouted on the road.
Now we don't shout even at home

gone are the days where we got lectures from all.
Now we give lectures to all... like the one I'm doing now....

Gone are the days

But not the memories, which will be

Lingering in our hearts for ever and ever and

Ever and ever and Ever.....
 
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