pratikbharti
Pratik Bharti
Three sisters, ages 92, 94 and 96, live in a house together. One night the 96-year-old draws a bath. She puts her foot in and pauses. She yells to the other sisters, “Was I getting in or out of the bath?”
The 94-year-old yells back, “I don’t know. I’ll come up and see.” She starts up the stairs and pauses. “Was I going up the stairs or down?”
The 92-year-old is sitting at the kitchen table having tea, listening to her sisters. She shakes her head and says, “I sure hope I never get that forgetful, knock on wood.” She then yells, “I’ll come up and help both of you as soon as I see who’s at the door.”
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Attending a wedding for the first time, a little girl whispered to her mother, “Why is the bride dressed in white?”
“Because white is the color of happiness, and today is the happiest day of her life.”
The child thought about this for a moment, then said, “So why is the groom wearing black?”
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Successful telemarketers don't have to be brain surgeons, just good on the phone. Case in point: While serving in the quality assurance department of one marketing firm, I overheard the guy in the next cube ask for the customer's e-mail address. "That's great," he said. "Now, if you can tell me how you spell 'aol'?"
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
A man and his wife were taking an afternoon drive through the countryside. They had just had a big argument and were not talking to one another. Finally the husband decided to break the silence and say something sarcastic to his wife: “Look at all the cows and pigs in the pasture. Don’t they remind you of your relatives?”
The wife replied, “Yes, they do. They remind me of my in-laws.”
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Working at the post office, I'm used to dealing with a moody public. So when one irate customer stormed my desk, I responded in my calmest voice, "What's the trouble?"
"I went out this morning," she began, "and when I came home I found a card saying the mailman tried to deliver a package but no one was home. My husband was in all morning. He never heard a thing!"
After apologizing, I got her parcel.
"Oh, good," she gushed. "We've been waiting for this for ages."
"What is it?" I asked.
"My husband's new hearing aid."
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Working in an ophthalmology practice that specializes in LASIK surgery, I am expected to comfort nervous patients. But prior to one operation, the patient was so frightened she was actually shaking. Nothing I said seemed to calm her. So after the doctor finished operating on her left eye, and before he began on the right, I wanted her to know the surgery was going well. "There," I said, patting her hand reassuringly. "Now you only have one eye left!"
more coming later...........................
The 94-year-old yells back, “I don’t know. I’ll come up and see.” She starts up the stairs and pauses. “Was I going up the stairs or down?”
The 92-year-old is sitting at the kitchen table having tea, listening to her sisters. She shakes her head and says, “I sure hope I never get that forgetful, knock on wood.” She then yells, “I’ll come up and help both of you as soon as I see who’s at the door.”
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Attending a wedding for the first time, a little girl whispered to her mother, “Why is the bride dressed in white?”
“Because white is the color of happiness, and today is the happiest day of her life.”
The child thought about this for a moment, then said, “So why is the groom wearing black?”
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Successful telemarketers don't have to be brain surgeons, just good on the phone. Case in point: While serving in the quality assurance department of one marketing firm, I overheard the guy in the next cube ask for the customer's e-mail address. "That's great," he said. "Now, if you can tell me how you spell 'aol'?"
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
A man and his wife were taking an afternoon drive through the countryside. They had just had a big argument and were not talking to one another. Finally the husband decided to break the silence and say something sarcastic to his wife: “Look at all the cows and pigs in the pasture. Don’t they remind you of your relatives?”
The wife replied, “Yes, they do. They remind me of my in-laws.”
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Working at the post office, I'm used to dealing with a moody public. So when one irate customer stormed my desk, I responded in my calmest voice, "What's the trouble?"
"I went out this morning," she began, "and when I came home I found a card saying the mailman tried to deliver a package but no one was home. My husband was in all morning. He never heard a thing!"
After apologizing, I got her parcel.
"Oh, good," she gushed. "We've been waiting for this for ages."
"What is it?" I asked.
"My husband's new hearing aid."
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Working in an ophthalmology practice that specializes in LASIK surgery, I am expected to comfort nervous patients. But prior to one operation, the patient was so frightened she was actually shaking. Nothing I said seemed to calm her. So after the doctor finished operating on her left eye, and before he began on the right, I wanted her to know the surgery was going well. "There," I said, patting her hand reassuringly. "Now you only have one eye left!"
more coming later...........................