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One day a young man and woman were in their bedroom shagging. All of the sudden a bumble bee entered the bedroom window. As the young lady parted her legs the bee entered her fanny. The woman started screaming, "Oh my god, help me, there's a bee up my minge. The husband immediately took her to...

A prisoner escapes from his prison where he had been kept for 15 years. As he runs away, he finds a house and breaks into it. He finds a young couple in bed. He gets the guy out of bed, ties him up on a chair, ties up the woman to the bed and while he gets on top of her, he kisses her on the...

Beer vs. Pussy A beer is always wet. A pussy needs encouragement. Advantage: Beer. A beer tastes horrible served hot. A pussy tastes better served hot. Advantage: Pussy. Having an ice cold beer makes you satisfied. Having an ice cold pussy makes you Hillary Clinton. Advantage: Beer. Beers...

1.The more beautiful the woman is who loves you, the easier it is to leave her with no hard feelings. 2.Nothing improves with age. 3.No matter how many times you've had it, if it's offered take it, because it'll never be quite the same again. 4.Sex has no calories. 5.Sex takes up the...

A midget went into a whorehouse. None of the girls really wanted to serve him, so finally they drew lots and Nancy was unlucky and went up to the room with him. A minute later, there was a loud scream. The madam and all of the girls charged up the staircase and into the room. Nancy lay on the...

"Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand." "Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night." "There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these...

CAR TROUBLE A blonde pushes her BMW into a gas station. She tells the > mechanic it died. After he works on it for a few minutes, it is idling > smoothly. She says, "What's the story?" He replies, "Just crap in the > carburetor" She asks, "How often do I have to do that?" KNITTING A...

The out-of-state couple are camping on the shores of a lake near a tiny hamlet. The young wife, stunningly built, decides to give the local town folk a thrill by sun bathing in the nude. "That`s okay with me, honey," says her husband. "I`ll go get some wood for the fire." About thirty minutes...

The Lord of the manor returned from his grouse hunt quite a bit earlier than expected. He entered the master bedroom to change, and found her Ladyship making passionate love to Sir Archibald Carpley. The irate Lord stood stiffly and loudly berated his wife for her infidelity...

The tensions of life were threatening to get a strangled hold on Bob, and after he'd finished a good dinner, he relaxed mindlessly in a soft chair next to the stereo, with a stiff drink in his hand. His wife knew nothing of his nervous state, and she climbed onto his lap with the...

This guy owns a horse farm and gets a call from a friend. "I know this midget with a speech impediment who wants to buy a horse and I`m sending him over". The midget arrives and the owner asks him if he wants a male or female horse. "A female horth", the midget replies. So the owner shows him...

Sardarji bought a brand new Maruti and decided to drive down from Amritsar, where he lived, to Jalandar to meet his friend. He reached there in a few hours. After spending a few days there, he decided to return, and called up his mother to expect him in the evening. But he didn't reach in the...

Two lesbians were walking down the street one-day. They soon spotted a beautiful woman on the other side of the road. "Ooh, look at that beautiful woman, I'd like to give her one" said the first. "Unh, Unh" mumbled the other. It continued like that; anytime they passed a gorgeous woman and...

Amy, a city girl, marries a farmer. One morning, before he goes out to the fields, the farmer says to her, "The artificial insemination man is coming to impregnate one of our cows today. I drove a big nail into the two-by-four over the cow's stall. You show him where it is." The farmer...

A man and a woman started to have sex in the middle of a dark forest. After 15 minutes of this, the man finally gets up and says, "Damn, I wish I had a flashlight." The woman says, "So do I. You've been eating grass for the past ten minutes!" 3 guys get pulled over by a woman cop. They...

A pastor wanted to raise money for his church. He was told that there was a fortune in horse racing, so he decided to purchase one and enter in the races. However at the local auction, the going price for a horse was so high that he ended up buying a donkey instead. He figured that since he had...

an American, Japanese, and a Sardar were sitting in the sauna. Suddenly there was a beeping sound. The American pressed his forearm and the beeping stopped. The others looked at him questioningly. "That's my pager," he said, "I have a microchip under the skin of my arm." A few minutes later a...

A man was doing a study of children's senses in a first-grade class using a bowl of Lifesavers. He gave the children all the same kind of Lifesaver and asked them, "What is the flavor, and what color is it?" The children began to say, "Red . . . cherry . . . yellow . . . lemon . . . lime . . ...

The inventor of the Harley Davidson Motorcycle Corporation, Arthur Davidson, died and went to heaven. At the gates, St. Peter told Arthur, "since you've been such a good man and your motorcycles have changed the world,your reward is, you can hang out with anyone you want in Heaven. "Arthur...

A little boy goes up to his father and asks: 'Dad, what's the difference between hypothetical and reality?' The father replies: 'Well son, I could give you the book definitions, but I feel it could be best to show you by example. Go upstairs and ask your mother if she'd have sex with the...