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The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on the list.

Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.

We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.

Children: You spend the first 2 years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next 16 years telling them to sit down and shut-up.

Politicians and diapers have one thing in common. They should both be changed regularly, and for the same reason.

War does not determine who is right - only who is left.

Evening news is where they begin with 'Good evening', and then proceed to tell you why it isn't.

The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch.

Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.

Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

Sex is not the answer. Sex is the question. "Yes" is the answer.

Money is like manure. Its no good unless you spread it! (Talking about the distribution of money in the Indian cricket team)

I lean on statistics like a drunken man leans on a lamppost, only for support, not illumination

A backscratcher will always find new itches; a brown-noser will always find new sense.

A President of a democracy is a man who is always ready, willing, and able to lay down your life for his country.

Build a man a fire and he`s warm for a night. Set a man on fire and he`s warm for the rest of his life.

Sticks and stones may break my bones but words ... words might hurt me deeply, causing great emotional, mental, and psychological damage leading to a lowered self-esteem and decreased work-related efficiency.

The greatest danger for most of us is not that our aim is too high and we miss it but that our aim is too low and we reach it!