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  1. L

    joke

    +---------------- Bizarre Insurance Claims ----------------+ Coming home I drove into the wrong house and collided with a tree I don't have. The other car collided with mine without giving warning of its intentions. I collided with a stationary truck coming the other way. I pulled away from...
  2. L

    joke

    A man died and went to heaven. As he stood in front of St. Peter at the Pearly Gates, he saw a huge wall of clocks behind him. He asked, "What are all those clocks?" St. Peter answered, "Those are Lie-Clocks. Everyone on Earth has a Lie-Clock. Every time you lie the hands on your clock will...
  3. L

    joke

    A mom and dad were worried about their son not wanting to learn math at the school he was in, so they decided to send him to a Catholic school. After the first day of school, their son comes racing into the house, goes straight into his room and slams the door shut. Mom and dad are a little...
  4. L

    joke

    Little Johnny was attending his first day of school. The teacher advised the class to start the day with the Pledge of Allegiance, and instructed them to put their right hands over their hearts and repeat after him. He looked around the room as he started the recitation, "I pledge...
  5. L

    joke

    Dictionary for women Argument (ar*gyou*ment) n. A discussion that occurs when you're right, but he just hasn't realized it yet. Airhead (er*hed) n. What a woman intentionally becomes when pulled over by a policeman. Bar-be-que (bar*bi*q) n. You bought the groceries, washed the lettuce...
  6. L

    joke

    One Day I went to my friend sardar's home.Sardar's wife came in home at that time with taking a basket.Sardar said:Yaar, If you tell me that, what is in the basket-All eggs will be yours.If you tell me that, How many eggs are there in basket all 8 eggs will be yours.If you tell me that which...
  7. L

    joke

    80,000 Pathans meet in the Peshawar Stadium for a "Pathans Are Not Stupid" Convention. The leader says, "We are all here today to prove to the world that Pathans are not stupid. Can I have a volunteer?" A Pathan works his way through the crowd and steps up to the stage. The leader asks him...
  8. L

    joke

    A grizzled old man was eating in a truck stop when three Hell's Angels bikers walked in. The first walked up to the old man, pushed his cigarette into the old man's pie and then took a seat at the counter. The second walked up to the old man, spit into the old man's milk and then he took a seat...
  9. L

    joke

    DavidBissonette When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her. Sacha Guitry After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together. Socrates By all means marry. If you get a good wife...
  10. L

    joke

    Three boys were heading home from school one day when one started the time honored game of oneupmanship. He said, "My dad is way faster than any of yours. He can throw a 90 mph fastball from the pitcher's mound, and run and catch it just after it crosses the plate!" One of the other boys said...
  11. L

    joke

    Cannibal Restaurant... A cannibal was walking through the jungle and came upon a restaurant operated by a fellow cannibal. Feeling somewhat hungry, he walked in, sat down and looked over the menu... Raw Tourist: $5 Broiled Missionary: $10.00 Fried Explorer: $15.00 Baked Democrat or Grilled...
  12. L

    joke

    Here are some nice one liners..: 1. I say no to alcohol, it just doesn't listen. 2. A friend in need is a pest indeed. 3. Marriage is one of the chief causes of divorce. 4. Work is fine if it doesn't take too much of your time. 5. When everything comes in your way you're in the wrong lane...
  13. L

    joke

    Similarity between Gandhiji & Mallika? Dono ne kapde tyag diye, ek ne desh ke liye, doosre ne Deshwasion ke liye! Exams ke 4 din pehle syllabus dekha to yaad aaya, Kuch To Hua Hai Kuch Ho Gaya Hai, Exams ke din paper dekh kar yaad aaya, Sab Kuch Alag Hai Sab Kuch Naya Hai Judge: U r crossing...
  14. L

    joke

    Sardar's Letter to Bill Gates: Dear Mr.Bill Gates, We have bought a Computer for our home and we have found some problems, which I want ot bring to your Notice. 1.There is a " Start " Button but there is not " Stop " Button, We request to Check This. 2.One Doubt is whether any " Recycle...
  15. L

    joke

    One night at an economy motel, I ordered a 6 am wake-up call. The next morning, I awoke before 6, but the phone did not ring until 6:30. "Good morning," a young man said sheepishly. "This is your wake-up call." Annoyed, I let the hotel worker have it! "You were supposed to call me at 6...
  16. L

    joke

    Once upon a time in a village, a man appeared and announced to the villagers that he would buy monkeys for Rs10. The villagers seeing that there were many monkeys around, went out to the forest and started catching them. The man bought thousands at Rs10 and as supply started to diminish, the...
  17. L

    joke

    A young man named John received a parrot as a gift. The parrot had a bad attitude and an even worse vocabulary. Every word out of the bird's mouth was rude, obnoxious, and laced with profanity. John tried and tried to change the bird's attitude by consistently saying only polite words, playing...
  18. L

    joke

    Height of lagislation Pythagorean Theorem - 24 words. Lord's Prayer - 66 words. Archimedes' Principle - 67 words. 10 Commandments - 179 words. Gettysburg Address - 286 words. Declaration of Independence - 1,300 words. US Government regulations on the sale of cabbage - 26,911 words.
  19. L

    joke

    Bill Gates organized an enormous session to recruit a new Chairman for Microsoft Europe. 5000 candidates assembled in a large room. One candidate is Mr. Reddy an Indian (Hyderabad) guy. Bill Gates thanked all the candidates for coming and asking those who do not know JAVA program to leave.2000...
  20. L

    joke

    What Love means to a 4-8 year old . . . Slow down for three minutes to read this. It is so worth it. Touching words from the mouth of babes. A group of professional people posed this question to a group of 4 to 8 year-olds, "What does love mean?" The answers they got were broader and deeper...
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