DETACHMENT
Detachment is the:
Ability to allow people, places, or things the freedom to be themselves. Giving another person "the space'' to be him or herself. Disengaging from an over-enmeshed or dependent relationship with people. Willingness to accept that you cannot change or control a person, place, or thing.
Developing and maintaining of a safe, emotional distance from someone whom you have previously given a lot of power to affect your emotional outlook on life. Ability to maintain an emotional bond of love, concern, and caring without the negative results of rescuing, enabling, fixing, or controlling. Ability to exercise emotional self-protection and prevention so as not to experience greater emotional devastation from having hung on beyond a reasonable and rational point.
Ability to allow people to be who they "really are'' rather than who you "want them to be.'' Ability to avoid being hurt, abused, taken advantage of by people who in the past have been overly dependent or enmeshed with you.
What are the negative effects not detaching?
If you are unable to detach from people, places, or things, then you:
Will have people, places, or things which become over-dependent on you. Run the risk of being manipulated to do things for people, at places, or with things, which you do not really want to do.
Can become an obsessive ``fix it'' who needs to fix everything you perceive to be imperfect.
Will most probably become powerless in the face of the demands of the people, places, or things whom you have given the power to control you. Will be blind to the reality that the people, places, or things, which control you, are the uncontrollable and unchangeable you need to let go of if you are to become a fully healthy, coping individual.
Might become caught up with your idealistic need to make everything perfect for people, places, or things important to you even if it means your own life becomes unhealthy. Run the risk of becoming out of control of yourself and experience greater low self-esteem as a result.
Run the risk of losing your autonomy and independence and derive your value or worth solely from the unhealthy relationship you continue in with the unhealthy person, place, or thing.
Detachment is the:
Ability to allow people, places, or things the freedom to be themselves. Giving another person "the space'' to be him or herself. Disengaging from an over-enmeshed or dependent relationship with people. Willingness to accept that you cannot change or control a person, place, or thing.
Developing and maintaining of a safe, emotional distance from someone whom you have previously given a lot of power to affect your emotional outlook on life. Ability to maintain an emotional bond of love, concern, and caring without the negative results of rescuing, enabling, fixing, or controlling. Ability to exercise emotional self-protection and prevention so as not to experience greater emotional devastation from having hung on beyond a reasonable and rational point.
Ability to allow people to be who they "really are'' rather than who you "want them to be.'' Ability to avoid being hurt, abused, taken advantage of by people who in the past have been overly dependent or enmeshed with you.
What are the negative effects not detaching?
If you are unable to detach from people, places, or things, then you:
Will have people, places, or things which become over-dependent on you. Run the risk of being manipulated to do things for people, at places, or with things, which you do not really want to do.
Can become an obsessive ``fix it'' who needs to fix everything you perceive to be imperfect.
Will most probably become powerless in the face of the demands of the people, places, or things whom you have given the power to control you. Will be blind to the reality that the people, places, or things, which control you, are the uncontrollable and unchangeable you need to let go of if you are to become a fully healthy, coping individual.
Might become caught up with your idealistic need to make everything perfect for people, places, or things important to you even if it means your own life becomes unhealthy. Run the risk of becoming out of control of yourself and experience greater low self-esteem as a result.
Run the risk of losing your autonomy and independence and derive your value or worth solely from the unhealthy relationship you continue in with the unhealthy person, place, or thing.