More than friends

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Mumbai is a city of immigrants. With families often residing far away and sibling busy with their own lives, we often turn to friends. Friends eventually become your second family.

Best friends or close friends don't just provide us with companionship but also contribute to our emotional happiness. Instances of extended families can be seen in Bollywood as well. How else would one explain the close bond that Shah Rukh Khan, Karan Johar and the others share with their respective cliques. Good times give you friends, but bad times give you a family.

Sound advice

Almost any problem you face, there is a group of people who are around to offer you help, mentally or spiritually. These groups are invariably your friends or your ‘support groups’ in the vicinity, for instance, neighbours. Member-centred self-help groups usually have a trained leader and a professional approach. The benefits of this bonding include sharing information, mutual problem solving, overcoming isolation and empowerment — these are exactly the things friends give us. There are also online self-help groups which are around 24/7, and more and more city dwellers are turning to these in the absence of family.

Generation gap

Friends help to fill a gap that is widening as the generations live increasingly separate lives. Sadly in a rapidly globalising world, families tend to grow apart as a result of fragmented, stressful lives and varying value sytems between the generations. So it’s no wonder that friends and colleagues are so valued by peers. In times of crisis, it’s often those closest to hand that we turn to, whether it’s colleagues that we see so much of through the day or friends who we tag along with to a bar on night out. New families are being formed all the time, making huge interconnected webs of alternate family members. Friendship is family camouflaged indeed.

Work culture

Divorce, cohabitation and single parenthood is changing the make-up of modern households. A few years ago, a woman was confined to her home, especially if she had children. Now the norm has changed. Most people spend at least as much time with their work colleagues as they do with their partners and families and so form strong bonds with them. Life today is more about the individual. And individuals develop individual bonds with people who meet their specific needs.

Teen years

Teenagers have always been more likely to look to their friends for support and discuss difficult issues rather than with their families. This trend just continues into adulthood and well into the issues that adulthood springs forth to you.

Variety of blokes

All friends aren’t carbon copies of us and they wouldn’t necessarily get on if they were all put in the same room. An older friend might not have the energy to go clubbing, but if you’re faced with family issues, they’re the first person you would call. A techie friend may not be the life and soul of a party, but when your laptop dies in the middle of a crucial report, your computer-wizard friend comes up trumps. Like the different functions that various family members play in a joint family, different types of friends serve to help you in their own special ways.

The Tech Family

Chat rooms, message boards and discussion groups have become family formats in themselves. All these relationships need the same level of maintenance as face-to-face friendships and are built on trust in the same way as regular friendships are. During the last few years sites such as Orkut, Facebook and Hi5 have helped us get in touch with our old buddies and re-anchor important relationships that were crucial in our formative years, when the emotional quotient was so incredibly high. You may not have all your friends for life. It is necessary to have a mix around the world so that you are never short of a ‘circle’, an extended family.


http://www.mumbaimirror.com/net/mmp...&sectid=9&contentid=2007070805071051546401204
 
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