Leadership Humor

[piotr]

Calvin Coolidge - A Man of Few Words

As a government function in the nineteen-twenties, a young lady approaching President Coolidge, said gushingly, "Oh, Mr. President, I have made a wager with a friend of mine that I could persuade you to say more than two words to me. Could you?" And Coolidge, without expression, said, "You lose."

Calvin Coolidge, famous for his silence, had been to church. When he returned, he said nothing about the service. His wife prompted him. "What was the sermon about?" she asked. "Sin," Cal answered. "Well, what did the preacher say about sin?" she asked impatiently. "He was against it," Cal told her.

 

[piotr]

Bill Gates in Heaven

God called three individuals to announce his intentions toward the human race. At the meeting were George Bush, Vladimir Putin, and Bill Gates. God announced that he was putting an end to the human race in 30 days and that each was to tell there followers.

Vladimir Putin goes back to his followers and tells them, "I have some bad news and some terrible news. The bad news is that our communist ideology was wrong. The terrible news is God is putting an end to everything in thirty days."

George Bush goes back to his followers and says, "I have some bad news and good news." The good news is our religion is correct, there is a God. The bad news is that God is putting an end to everything in 30 days."

Bill Gates goes back to his followers and says, "I have good news and better news. The good news is that I am one of the three most important humans on the planet according to God. The better news is we won’t have to ship the next version of Windows.

 

[piotr]

Character and Leadership

Note: This came in through the e-mail so we are not sure if it is true or not, but it makes for an interesting argument.


Q1: If you knew a woman who was pregnant, who had 8 kids already, three who were deaf, two who were blind, one mentally retarded, and she had syphilis; would you recommend that she have an abortion?
Read the next question before scrolling down to the answer of this one.

Q2: It is time to elect the world leader, and your vote counts. Here are the facts about the three leading candidates:


Candidate A
Associates with crooked politicians, and consults with astrologists. He's had two mistresses. He also chain smokes and drinks quite a few martinis a day.


Candidate B
He was kicked out of office twice, sleeps until noon, used opium in college and drinks a great deal of whisky every evening.

Candidate C
He is a decorated war hero. He's a vegetarian, doesn't smoke, drinks an occasional beer and hasn't had any extramarital affairs.


Which of these candidates would be your choice? Decide first.

Then, scroll down for the answer.



















Candidate A is Franklin D. Roosevelt
Candidate B is Winston Churchill
Candidate C is Adolph Hitler

and by the way, the answer to the abortion question—if you said yes, you just killed Beethoven.

 

[djzaidi]

lol really nice one's ... i mean i soo totally killed beethoven and i wanted 2 chill with
winston Churchill xD

 

[piotr]

Qualities of Leadership
Can you imagine working at the following Company? It has a little over 500 employees with the following statistics:

29 have been accused of spousal abuse
7 have been arrested for fraud
19 have been accused of writing bad checks
117 have bankrupted at least two businesses
3 have been arrested for assault
71 cannot get a credit card due to bad credit
14 have been arrested on drug-related charges
8 have been arrested for shoplifting
21 are current defendants in lawsuits
84 were stopped for drunk driving

Can you guess which organization this is?

It's the 535 members of the United States Congress. The same group that perpetually cranks out hundreds upon hundreds of new laws designed to keep the rest of us in line.