Description
This is a presentation explains on various methods to improve interpersonal communication skills.
Improving Interpersonal Communication Skills
Approaches to interpersonal communication: brief background
• The concept of communication has evolved throughout the years.
1949 Transmission Models
1962 Linguistic Models
1971 Psycho-social Models
1986 Interlocutive Models
FEEDBACK
INTERPRETER
PARTICIPANT SPEAKER SENDER RECEIVER NOISE
INTERPERTER
PARTICIPANT SPEAKER
PERSONALITY
Person 1
MESSAGE
Person 1
PERSONALITY
CONSCIOUS/UNCON.
CONSCIOUS/UNCON.
CODE TEXT GENRE
SIGNS
SETTING OR CONTEXT
interpretation of a message
Listening and reading
Speaking and writing
reception
context of reception
productio n context of production
elaboration of a message A DISCOURSE APPROACH TO LANGUAGE
Task: • Think of someone you would like to improve interpersonal communication with in your work environment. It should be someone you interact with on a regular basis. • 1. What kind of work relationship do you have with this person: cooperation, interdependence, independence? • 2. Did/do you have the option of working with him/her? • 3. Has there been any conflict with this person? • 4. What’s the history behind this relationship? • 5. Do you feel any form of affection for him/her? • 6. Who has the power in this relationship? • 7. What are the positive traits you see in this person? • 8. What are the negative traits you see in this person? • 9. Will you have to interact with each other for a long time? • 10. How much impact could he/she have in your present or future career?
Consider each communication event as a pearl in a necklace.
• email • phone call • one on one meeting • teamwork • note • fax • talk at lunch break • online chat • group meeting
synchronous and asynchronous
A model for interpersonal communication
Align the horizon Participate in the interaction
Learn from the experience
“Pre” Setting the ground
• 1. What kind of work relationship do you have with this person: cooperation, interdependence, independence? • 2. Did/do you have the option of working with him/her? • 6. Who has the power in this relationship? • 9. Will you have to interact with each other for a long time? • 10. How much impact could he/she have in your present or future career?
“Pre” Some history
• 3. Has there been any conflict with this person? • 4. What’s the history behind this relationship?
“Pre” What do we have in common?
• 5. Do you feel any form of affection for him/her? • 7. What are the positive traits you see in this person? • 8. What are the negative traits you see in this person?
Attitude
Airplane pilots often use "attitude" to describe their horizontal relationship with the runway when they land. If their attitude isn’t aligned properly, the plane will make contact with the ground at the wrong angle and it will cause them to crash.
STAGE
Pre ALIGN THE HORIZON
FOCUS
Attitude
STRATEGY
Memory: Associate, elaborate, use imagery.
Reflect upon the situation. Set reasonable expectations. Make the right choices of timing and channel.
Cognitive: Analyze and reason.
Compensation: Guess intelligently. Metacognitive: Arrange and plan. Set goals and objectives. Affective: Lower anxiety. Encourage yourself Social: Develop understanding of the situation.
Task
• You are in a queue at the movie theater. Somebody comes in and jumps the queue right in front of you. What do you choose to do?
1. 2. Nothing. You just bear it. Vent comments out loud such as “… some people are such/so ….” but you don’t face the person. Face the guy bluntly and furiously, after all who does he think he is?! Approach the man and politely but firmly tell him that he should take his turn at the end of the line. Other …
3.
4. 5.
ASSERTIVENESS DEFINITION
• Assertiveness is defined as behavior which enables people to act in their own best interest by expressing their thoughts, feelings, desires and opinions directly, honestly and appropriately.
BIDIRECTIONAL MODEL
OVERT EXPRESSION
+
ASSERTIVE
AGGRESSIVE
PASSIVE
PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE
NO COERCION
COERCION
-
COVERT EXPRESSION
+
“While”
• Recognize patters of behavior.
BEHAVIOR PARAMETERS RIGHTS RESPECTED
PASSIVE
Expression -Coercion -Expression ++ Coercion ++ Expression -Coercion ++ Expression ++ Coercion --
Other people’s rights. Your rights None Your rights and other people’s rights
AGGRESSIVE PASSIVE-AGGRESSIVE ASSERTIVE
Task:
• This chart (see your handbook) shows assertive behavior and alternative forms of behavior based on the four quadrant model. Classify the following examples of behavior in the right category: manipulation, humiliation, avoidance.
– Page … in your handbook
Task: Identify three very distinct parts in this fragment.
"I've noticed that whenever we're preparing to go somewhere, you start rushing me to finish dressing as soon as you're ready even if it's not yet the time we had planned to leave. I know you get anxious when you're all ready to go and I'm not, but when you do that, I get all flustered and take even more time. By the time we get in the car, we're mad at each other and not much in the mood to have a good time. From now on, let's be sure we know what time we want to leave, and if you're ready before I am, will you please just go to another room and read the paper or watch TV? From now on, if you come into the bedroom or bathroom before it's time to leave and start asking me to hurry up, I'm just going to remind you of the time, ask you to go to another room, and close the door until I'm ready. I know this is going to seem weird at first, but I bet we'll enjoy our outings a lot more over the long run."
• http://www.uiowa.edu/%7Eucs/asertcom.html
• "I've noticed that whenever we're preparing to go somewhere, you start rushing me to finish dressing as soon as you're ready, even if it's not yet the time we had planned to leave. I know you get anxious when you're all ready to go and I'm not, but when you do that, I get all flustered and take even more time. By the time we get in the car, we're mad at each other and not much in the mood to have a good time. From now on, let's be sure we know what time we want to leave, and if you're ready before I am, will you please just go to another room and read the paper or watch TV? From now on, if you come into the bedroom or bathroom before it's time to leave and start asking me to hurry up, I'm just going to remind you of the time, ask you to go to another room, and close the door until I'm ready. I know this is going to seem weird at first, but I bet we'll enjoy our outings a lot more over the long run." • http://www.uiowa.edu/%7Eucs/asertcom.html
“While” Apply a variety of techniques to
communicate
1. the art of listening
• Act like a good listener. Adopt the physical body language of a receiver. • Look at the other person. • React to the speaker by sending out non-verbal signals. • Stop talking and use receptive language instead. Use the I see . . . un hunh . . . oh really! • Concentrate on what the speaker is saying, skip over delivery errors and fight distractions. • Listen between the lines to tones of voice. • Observe.
“While”
Apply a variety of techniques to communicate
2. the art of speaking and more …
• Message pacing and chunking • Expressing conversational intent:
– “Uh...Maria, do you have a minute? Right now I’d like to talk to you about... Is that OK?”
Non verbal components: Vocalics Kinesics Proxemics Artifacts Touch Smell
“While” 3. the art of conflict prevention:
What are fire starters?
• Person centered comments and past centered comments • Inappropriate reassurance and inappropriate positive thinking • Histrionic behavior (overdramatization) • Guilt induction and blaming comments • Kitchen sinking • Infallibility comments • Overapologizing
STAGE
FOCUS
STRATEGY
While
PARTICIPATE IN THE INTERACTION Use your resources: apply a variety of techniques to communicate. Make choices. Stay focused. Monitor
Perf.
Cognitive: Practice techniques. Recognize patters of behavior. Create structure for your input and output. Compensation: Overcome limitations in communication skills. Guess intelligently. Metacognitive: Self monitor. Delay speech production to focus on listening. Affective: Take risks wisely. Take your emotional temperature. Social: Ask questions. Cooperate. Empathize.
To remember
• Hostile communication causes inaccuracies. • Hostile communication triggers defensive mechanisms. • An important sending skill is knowing how to favor disarming language over arming language.
• The latter selects more forceful over more moderate words, uses statements rather than questions and when spoken, is usually accompanied by hostile intonations, pauses and other nonverbal messages that convey hostile feeling.
“Post”
Reflect upon the interaction
Empathy requires that you suspend judgment of another's actions or reactions, while you try to understand them. Sometimes, this will mean reading between the lines of statements made, and almost always it will involve gentle questioning and probing, to clarify what is going on. The goal here, again is to UNDERSTAND, and not judge.
Robert Bacal
.
“Post”
Cycle
analyze
evaluate
Change and adjust expectations
Revise model
STAGE
FOCUS
STRATEGY
Post LEARN FROM IT Follow up Reflect upon the interaction.
Cognitive: Analyze, summarize, and take mental notes.
Memory: Review well.
Cognitive: Analyze and reason.
Metacognitive: Evaluate your learning. Link with already known material. Affective: Reward yourself. Discuss your feelings with someone else. Social: Empathize. Become aware of the other’s thoughts and feelings.
TEN TIPS
1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. 9. 10. Set the ground for communication and align your horizon. Work on your attitude. Have reasonable expectations. Make the right choices of timing and channel. While interacting, use your resources. Apply a variety of techniques to communication: message pacing and chunking, expressing conversational intent. Consider the nonverbal aspect of communication: vocalics, proxemics, kinesics, touch and artifacts. Be the best listener you can be. Be an active and responsive listener. Avoid “fire starters” such as hot words, overdramatization, guilt induction, blaming, person and past centered comments. Choose to behave assertively. Avoid aggressive and passiveaggressive behavior. Stay focused and monitor. Take your emotional temperature. Reflect upon the interaction and get ready to keep developing the realtionship. Be ready to change and keep exploring.
THANK YOU!
• [email protected] • http://eflprofessionals.blogspot.com
doc_793721134.ppt
This is a presentation explains on various methods to improve interpersonal communication skills.
Improving Interpersonal Communication Skills
Approaches to interpersonal communication: brief background
• The concept of communication has evolved throughout the years.
1949 Transmission Models
1962 Linguistic Models
1971 Psycho-social Models
1986 Interlocutive Models
FEEDBACK
INTERPRETER
PARTICIPANT SPEAKER SENDER RECEIVER NOISE
INTERPERTER
PARTICIPANT SPEAKER
PERSONALITY
Person 1
MESSAGE
Person 1
PERSONALITY
CONSCIOUS/UNCON.
CONSCIOUS/UNCON.
CODE TEXT GENRE
SIGNS
SETTING OR CONTEXT
interpretation of a message
Listening and reading
Speaking and writing
reception
context of reception
productio n context of production
elaboration of a message A DISCOURSE APPROACH TO LANGUAGE
Task: • Think of someone you would like to improve interpersonal communication with in your work environment. It should be someone you interact with on a regular basis. • 1. What kind of work relationship do you have with this person: cooperation, interdependence, independence? • 2. Did/do you have the option of working with him/her? • 3. Has there been any conflict with this person? • 4. What’s the history behind this relationship? • 5. Do you feel any form of affection for him/her? • 6. Who has the power in this relationship? • 7. What are the positive traits you see in this person? • 8. What are the negative traits you see in this person? • 9. Will you have to interact with each other for a long time? • 10. How much impact could he/she have in your present or future career?
Consider each communication event as a pearl in a necklace.
• email • phone call • one on one meeting • teamwork • note • fax • talk at lunch break • online chat • group meeting
synchronous and asynchronous
A model for interpersonal communication
Align the horizon Participate in the interaction
Learn from the experience
“Pre” Setting the ground
• 1. What kind of work relationship do you have with this person: cooperation, interdependence, independence? • 2. Did/do you have the option of working with him/her? • 6. Who has the power in this relationship? • 9. Will you have to interact with each other for a long time? • 10. How much impact could he/she have in your present or future career?
“Pre” Some history
• 3. Has there been any conflict with this person? • 4. What’s the history behind this relationship?
“Pre” What do we have in common?
• 5. Do you feel any form of affection for him/her? • 7. What are the positive traits you see in this person? • 8. What are the negative traits you see in this person?
Attitude
Airplane pilots often use "attitude" to describe their horizontal relationship with the runway when they land. If their attitude isn’t aligned properly, the plane will make contact with the ground at the wrong angle and it will cause them to crash.
STAGE
Pre ALIGN THE HORIZON
FOCUS
Attitude
STRATEGY
Memory: Associate, elaborate, use imagery.
Reflect upon the situation. Set reasonable expectations. Make the right choices of timing and channel.
Cognitive: Analyze and reason.
Compensation: Guess intelligently. Metacognitive: Arrange and plan. Set goals and objectives. Affective: Lower anxiety. Encourage yourself Social: Develop understanding of the situation.
Task
• You are in a queue at the movie theater. Somebody comes in and jumps the queue right in front of you. What do you choose to do?
1. 2. Nothing. You just bear it. Vent comments out loud such as “… some people are such/so ….” but you don’t face the person. Face the guy bluntly and furiously, after all who does he think he is?! Approach the man and politely but firmly tell him that he should take his turn at the end of the line. Other …
3.
4. 5.
ASSERTIVENESS DEFINITION
• Assertiveness is defined as behavior which enables people to act in their own best interest by expressing their thoughts, feelings, desires and opinions directly, honestly and appropriately.
BIDIRECTIONAL MODEL
OVERT EXPRESSION
+
ASSERTIVE
AGGRESSIVE
PASSIVE
PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE
NO COERCION
COERCION
-
COVERT EXPRESSION
+
“While”
• Recognize patters of behavior.
BEHAVIOR PARAMETERS RIGHTS RESPECTED
PASSIVE
Expression -Coercion -Expression ++ Coercion ++ Expression -Coercion ++ Expression ++ Coercion --
Other people’s rights. Your rights None Your rights and other people’s rights
AGGRESSIVE PASSIVE-AGGRESSIVE ASSERTIVE
Task:
• This chart (see your handbook) shows assertive behavior and alternative forms of behavior based on the four quadrant model. Classify the following examples of behavior in the right category: manipulation, humiliation, avoidance.
– Page … in your handbook
Task: Identify three very distinct parts in this fragment.
"I've noticed that whenever we're preparing to go somewhere, you start rushing me to finish dressing as soon as you're ready even if it's not yet the time we had planned to leave. I know you get anxious when you're all ready to go and I'm not, but when you do that, I get all flustered and take even more time. By the time we get in the car, we're mad at each other and not much in the mood to have a good time. From now on, let's be sure we know what time we want to leave, and if you're ready before I am, will you please just go to another room and read the paper or watch TV? From now on, if you come into the bedroom or bathroom before it's time to leave and start asking me to hurry up, I'm just going to remind you of the time, ask you to go to another room, and close the door until I'm ready. I know this is going to seem weird at first, but I bet we'll enjoy our outings a lot more over the long run."
• http://www.uiowa.edu/%7Eucs/asertcom.html
• "I've noticed that whenever we're preparing to go somewhere, you start rushing me to finish dressing as soon as you're ready, even if it's not yet the time we had planned to leave. I know you get anxious when you're all ready to go and I'm not, but when you do that, I get all flustered and take even more time. By the time we get in the car, we're mad at each other and not much in the mood to have a good time. From now on, let's be sure we know what time we want to leave, and if you're ready before I am, will you please just go to another room and read the paper or watch TV? From now on, if you come into the bedroom or bathroom before it's time to leave and start asking me to hurry up, I'm just going to remind you of the time, ask you to go to another room, and close the door until I'm ready. I know this is going to seem weird at first, but I bet we'll enjoy our outings a lot more over the long run." • http://www.uiowa.edu/%7Eucs/asertcom.html
“While” Apply a variety of techniques to
communicate
1. the art of listening
• Act like a good listener. Adopt the physical body language of a receiver. • Look at the other person. • React to the speaker by sending out non-verbal signals. • Stop talking and use receptive language instead. Use the I see . . . un hunh . . . oh really! • Concentrate on what the speaker is saying, skip over delivery errors and fight distractions. • Listen between the lines to tones of voice. • Observe.
“While”
Apply a variety of techniques to communicate
2. the art of speaking and more …
• Message pacing and chunking • Expressing conversational intent:
– “Uh...Maria, do you have a minute? Right now I’d like to talk to you about... Is that OK?”
Non verbal components: Vocalics Kinesics Proxemics Artifacts Touch Smell
“While” 3. the art of conflict prevention:
What are fire starters?
• Person centered comments and past centered comments • Inappropriate reassurance and inappropriate positive thinking • Histrionic behavior (overdramatization) • Guilt induction and blaming comments • Kitchen sinking • Infallibility comments • Overapologizing
STAGE
FOCUS
STRATEGY
While
PARTICIPATE IN THE INTERACTION Use your resources: apply a variety of techniques to communicate. Make choices. Stay focused. Monitor
Perf.
Cognitive: Practice techniques. Recognize patters of behavior. Create structure for your input and output. Compensation: Overcome limitations in communication skills. Guess intelligently. Metacognitive: Self monitor. Delay speech production to focus on listening. Affective: Take risks wisely. Take your emotional temperature. Social: Ask questions. Cooperate. Empathize.
To remember
• Hostile communication causes inaccuracies. • Hostile communication triggers defensive mechanisms. • An important sending skill is knowing how to favor disarming language over arming language.
• The latter selects more forceful over more moderate words, uses statements rather than questions and when spoken, is usually accompanied by hostile intonations, pauses and other nonverbal messages that convey hostile feeling.
“Post”
Reflect upon the interaction
Empathy requires that you suspend judgment of another's actions or reactions, while you try to understand them. Sometimes, this will mean reading between the lines of statements made, and almost always it will involve gentle questioning and probing, to clarify what is going on. The goal here, again is to UNDERSTAND, and not judge.
Robert Bacal
.
“Post”
Cycle
analyze
evaluate
Change and adjust expectations
Revise model
STAGE
FOCUS
STRATEGY
Post LEARN FROM IT Follow up Reflect upon the interaction.
Cognitive: Analyze, summarize, and take mental notes.
Memory: Review well.
Cognitive: Analyze and reason.
Metacognitive: Evaluate your learning. Link with already known material. Affective: Reward yourself. Discuss your feelings with someone else. Social: Empathize. Become aware of the other’s thoughts and feelings.
TEN TIPS
1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. 9. 10. Set the ground for communication and align your horizon. Work on your attitude. Have reasonable expectations. Make the right choices of timing and channel. While interacting, use your resources. Apply a variety of techniques to communication: message pacing and chunking, expressing conversational intent. Consider the nonverbal aspect of communication: vocalics, proxemics, kinesics, touch and artifacts. Be the best listener you can be. Be an active and responsive listener. Avoid “fire starters” such as hot words, overdramatization, guilt induction, blaming, person and past centered comments. Choose to behave assertively. Avoid aggressive and passiveaggressive behavior. Stay focused and monitor. Take your emotional temperature. Reflect upon the interaction and get ready to keep developing the realtionship. Be ready to change and keep exploring.
THANK YOU!
• [email protected] • http://eflprofessionals.blogspot.com
doc_793721134.ppt