How to Guarantee You Are Listening

How well do you listen? There is an art to it. If you learn how to do it effectively, you can be a person of influence.

When you speak, do others hear you? Do they ‘listen’ to you? Are you listening to them?

Listening and hearing are different actions. Hearing is the physical act of the ear picking out sounds from another’s voice. It simply happens. Listening is what you consciously choose to do. Listening requires concentration so your brain can create meaning from words and sentences.

Listening leads to learning.

Many people have the ability to hear but not the gift to listen. When someone is talking we become defensive in our listening. For instance, when you hear the words, “I’d like you to help me …” your mind begins to fit the words into categories that you have adopted as being mostly what you think when you hear those words. Like, “Oh, not again!” or “I can’t!” or “I’m too busy!”

Some people call this listening from experience. Here’s what’s really happening. You are not truly open to hearing what they are saying. After you hear a few words you jump into the editing room deciding what they mean, preparing an answer before they are finished talking.

That’s when you miss the target. You are setting yourself up for not getting the whole picture, the intention or the prospect that may exist. You’ve potentially shut yourself off from something that could enhance a relationship or create an outstanding opportunity for you in the future.

Next time you are in a conversation or hearing a conversation, count how many times people (or you) interrupt the person talking, finishing what you think they are going to say. Some people do this with jokes, news items, or stories they’ve already heard.

Editing and interrupting spoil the conversation straining relationships.

So the next time you are in a conversation with someone, here are 3 tips on how you can be sure you are listening.

1. Improve your attention span. Put down the book. Mute the television. Make eye contact. Nod your head. Face the person.

2. Button your lip. Count to 5 before you offer a response. And when you do respond, begin by reflecting back to that person what you thought you heard. This will either confirm or dispel what they said. Invite them to correct you if you are wrong.

3. Develop your consciousness. Pay attention to the speaker’s body language. Listen between the lines, for what’s not being said. Ask questions. Seek more information. Show interest.

Building an awareness of your current listening habits, improving them, and becoming more attentive will boost your connection making you great person to talk to. And when you are the person people what to talk with, you become a major influence.

 

[viju.aicar]

ya me too @vijay sir

 

[Dhruv Bindhani]

This text offers a insightful and practical guide on the crucial skill of active listening. It effectively differentiates between hearing and listening and provides actionable advice for improving one's listening habits.

Here's a review:

Review of "How well do you listen? There is an art to it."

The provided text on listening is a concise yet impactful guide that effectively underscores the transformative power of genuine attentiveness in communication. It deftly distinguishes between the passive act of hearing and the conscious, effortful skill of listening, positioning the latter as an "art" that leads to influence.

The article begins with a series of probing questions, immediately engaging the reader and prompting self-reflection on their own communication patterns. This sets a strong foundation for the subsequent discussion. The core differentiation between "hearing" as a physical act and "listening" as a conscious, meaning-making process is clearly articulated, highlighting the cognitive effort required for true comprehension. The powerful assertion that "Listening leads to learning" concisely captures a fundamental benefit.

A significant strength of the piece lies in its critique of common poor listening habits. The concept of "defensive listening" or "listening from experience," where individuals pre-categorize and jump to conclusions ("Oh, not again!" or "I can’t!"), is highly relatable and accurately describes how many conversations derail. The author vividly explains how this "editing room" mentality leads to missing "the whole picture, the intention or the prospect that may exist," potentially costing valuable relationship enhancements or future opportunities. The challenge to count interruptions further drives this point home, demonstrating how "editing and interrupting spoil the conversation straining relationships."

The article then transitions smoothly into actionable advice, offering three practical tips that are easy to understand and implement:

1. Improve your attention span: Simple yet effective suggestions like putting down distractions, making eye contact, and nodding reinforce basic but powerful non-verbal cues for engagement.
2. Button your lip: The advice to pause ("Count to 5") before responding and to "reflecting back" what was heard is excellent. This technique (often called paraphrasing or reflective listening) is a cornerstone of effective communication, as it confirms understanding or allows for correction.
3. Develop your consciousness: Encouraging attention to body language, listening "between the lines," and asking clarifying questions promotes a deeper, more empathetic level of engagement, moving beyond mere words.

The concluding paragraph skillfully ties all these elements together, reiterating that improved listening boosts connections, makes one a "great person to talk to," and ultimately leads to becoming "a major influence." This provides a compelling motivation for readers to adopt the advice.

Overall, this text is an exceptionally well-crafted piece on active listening. Its clarity, relatable examples of poor habits, and actionable tips make it a highly valuable resource for anyone seeking to improve their communication skills and, consequently, their personal and professional relationships. It's a succinct yet profound reminder of the power inherent in truly listening.