If you were to drop in on a Serial Dater's Anonymous meeting, you'd probably be hard-pressed to find a more qualified candidate than me. I'm 25, started dating about five years ago and can't remember the last time I've really been single. Sure, maybe an odd month or two, here and there. We all have our lean periods.
And then there's boom time. I'm thinking I must've done something right to be God's favourite child at the moment. I met this guy in my earlier office and we hated each other at first sight. After trading creative insults, we ended up wildly making out on the dance floor of a pub.
Don't ask.
The equation is volatile, but madly exciting in a bizarre, sado-masochist sort of way. And then I ended up meeting No 2, who I worked with on a freelance project. He's an absolute sweetheart, and doesn't naturally fit into my scheme of bad boy things. Though he does make me feel like I'm the centre of his universe. Who's complaining?
And the cherry on top, is my first crush, a sailor. One day, he casually happened to look me up while he was on vacation… hmm, this was turning out to be an interesting, if twisted, modern-day fairytale.
Anyway, three boyfriends is a full time-job! It takes a lot of creative energy to juggle - ahem, three balls in the air and not one can drop. Besides, two knew that we weren't exclusive. The third didn't. It is so exhausting to lie! And even more tiring to remember the stories I've been concocting.
CREATIVE LICENSE
Now, just because you've told No 1 and No 3 that you aren't exclusive, doesn't mean life is smooth sailing. No 1 doesn't like it, but he isn't about to whip out a marriage contract already. So, he doesn't want to ever hear any details, firmly believing that ignorance is bliss. Imagine how many topics of conversation that automatically strikes out — what did you do last night, was it good, was it bigger, better… uh, you get the drift…
But then I've also outdone even myself. There are times when I've had two dates in the same evening. Considering I'm sleeping with only one of three, by then I'm seriously prepped up for the action.
HITS AND MISSES
Having laid out the rules, one is (forgivably) bound to forget them occasionally. Once on a date with No 1, a minor detail about No 2 slipped out. He was so peeved that he left me by myself in the restaurant and just stormed off!
On the upside, you pretty much feel well pampered when you have three boys around. I am now a proud owner of exotic French lingerie, expensive perfumes, assorted gifts, and considering I can't drive, I always have a ride at any time of the night or day. Of course, it also means I am in danger of bankruptcy buying return gifts, new clothes and cosmetics. I once made the mistake of wearing the same outfit twice for two consecutive dates with the same guy. All because I couldn't remember what I'd worn with who!
A GREAT PACKAGE DEAL
My best friend, who also doubles up as a voice of conscience whenever convenient, thinks I have too much time on my hands. I jokingly comment that her relationship with her steady boyfriend was turning out to be a bit like a dentist's appointment. You know you're meant to see the dentist at regular intervals. And it will usually involve pain.
Gee, people have no sense of humour, really. She thinks I'm a hopeless commitment phobe. And that I have no focus. Now, she's beginning to sound like my mother. And who needs two of those?
Actually, what is the big deal? All three men have their uses. No 1 has a bit of a wild animal vibe going. (He is even loaded in the dough department.) Well-equipped men are a rarity and must be appreciated when you actually trip over one by some miracle. No 2 is very intellectually stimulating and we have a chilled-out, affectionate chemistry. And No 3 is a vanity treat, really. He was my first real crush at 15 and has a terrific sense of humour. The fact that he thought I was too young then did not go well with me. It's a dishy notch on my list. As simple as that. We do have an unnecessary knack for complicating things. Three men. Three different talents. What a fabulous package deal!
NEIGHBOURS' ENVY, JUGGLER'S PRIDE
My colleague, on the other hand is envious as hell. She has been single for so long that she has practically re-grown her virginity. "I must be doing something wrong if you can find three and I can't find even one!" she wails.
Probably looking for Mr Right. I'm 25 and cynical enough to know that Prince Charming is a myth invented by girlie magazines; and you probably have a better chance of running into the Loch Ness monster or the Yeti in Mumbai.
Face it, they're boys attached to their mother's umbilical chords. And the chances of them growing up and attaining full-blown maturity are negligible. So, I've trained myself to be more charitable and accepting as far as men go. And they probably think the same anyway. Love me, love my flaws.
AND THEN THERE WAS ONE
Life has a natural way of balancing things out. The shippie went back to rowing his boat. No 1, I lost interest in after a rollicking three months. No 2 is still around. We have a good thing going. Have I finally found focus? For what it's worth, it's been tremendous fun. And what a story to tell my grandchildren! Er, on the other hand, probably not.
Dummies guide to multiple dating
• Juggling is an art. Desist if you're going to hurt someone
• Multiple dating keeps the guys guessing. It becomes a challenge as you're not always available
• A sense of humour works like a charm
• Avoid possessive, Neanderthal-esque men
• Lying about exclusivity is an invitation for disaster
• Apply the brakes if you start to get emotionally attached
• It's about timing. Don't get into it if you want a serious relationship.