Behavioral Science of Interpersonal Relationship

Description
Highlights about how behavioral science affects interpersonal relationships.

Behavioral Science

Interpersonal Relationship Development

2/12/13

Relational Dynamics
and Communication

2/12/13

What makes us seek relationships with some people and not with others?


• • •

Sometimes there is not a choice (family) We seek out some people. We actively avoid others. What factors influence attraction and avoidance?

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• • • •

Appearance Similarity Complimentary Reciprocal Attraction

Factors Influencing Attraction
• • • •

Competence Disclosure Proximity Rewards

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Relational Development and Maintenance

How does communicatio n change as we get to know each other?

Bonding

Integrating

Intensifying

Experimenting

Initiating 2/12/13

COMING TOGETHER

INITIATING
• •

Show interest! Show you are worth talking to!


Communications tends to be
• •

BRIEF FOLLOW FORMULAS
– –

HAND SHAKES TALK ABOUT THE WEATHER

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EXPERIMENTING
• •

Decide if we want to pursue the relationship further. “Uncertainty reduction”


Gaining information about another Decide if we want to pursue the relationship further.


Small talk
– – –

Find out if we share interests Provides an “audition” Low risk



Varies in low- high- context cultures 2/12/13

INTENSIFYING
• • • • • • • •

RELATIONSHIP begins to develop Express feelings towards each other Increase time spent together Ask for support from one another Do favors for each other Get to know the other’s friends Share activities Take trips together
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INTENSIFYING (Cont.)
• •

Time of excitementIn romantic relationships
– – –

Goosebumps Gazing Daydreaming

“Intensifying” is not a permanent stage!

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INTEGRATING
• • •

• • •

TAKE ON identity as a social unit (a couple, friends) Social circles merge Take on each other’s commitments (“we”) Share language patterns Develop ritualistic behaviors Obligation to each other grows
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BONDING
• • •

Symbolic public gestures Wedding ceremony Marks a turning point: commitment!

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Differentiating

COMING APART
Circumscribing

How does communicatio n change as we separate from each other?
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Stagnating

Avoiding

Terminating

DIFFERENTIATING
• • • • • •

“WE” shifts to “me.” Return to putting the self first Stress-induced Need not be negative Part of “relational maintenance” Key to success: maintain commitment to the relationship while creating space for the individual.
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CIRCUMSCRIBING
• •

• • •



Communication decreases in quantity and quality Members withdraw from disagreement Mental withdrawal Physical withdrawal Shrinking of interest and commitment Opposite of integrating
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STAGNATING
• • • • • • •

When circumscribing goes on too long… Excitement is long gone Loss of feeling No growth in relationship (Workers who are “burned out”) Same conversations, same routines Loss of joy or novelty
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AVOIDING
• • •

When stagnation is too unpleasant… Create physical distance “Can’t see you now…” “Don’t call me”

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IS THE RELATIONSHIP LOST? couples Unsuccessful couples: Successful

– – –

Avoidance Indirectness Less involvement

– – – –

“Repair” Communicate concerns Confront each other Spend time and effort to negotiate solutions

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TERMINATING
• •

• • • • •

FINAL STAGE Summary dialogs; desire to dissociate Note…call…legal document Short or drawn out Doesn’t have to be totally negative “Redefined” “Grave dressing” (retrospective attempts to explain failure)
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Relational Development and Maintenance

How does communicatio n change as we get to know each other?

Bonding

Integrating

Intensifying

Experimenting

Initiating 2/12/13

COMING TOGETHER

Differentiating

COMING APART
Circumscribing

How does communicatio n change as we separate from each other?
2/12/13

Stagnating

Avoiding

Terminating

RELATIONAL MAINTENANCE
BONDING INTEGRATIN G
INTENSIFYING Healthy relationships move in and out of these stages. On-going maintenance and repair are needed for long-term relationships.

DIFFERENTIATIN G CIRCUMSCRIBIN G
STAGNATING

2/12/13



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