banta laughter

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priyaa_lp

New member
Subject: Problems with my new computer
>>
>>
>> Dear Mr. Bill Gates,
>>
>> We have bought a computer for our home and we have found some
>> problems, which I want to bring to your notice.
>>
>> 1. There is a button 'start' but there is no 'stop' button.
>> We request you to check this.
>>
>> 2. We find there is 'Run' in the menu. One of my friends clicked
>> 'run' he ran up to Amritsar ! So, we request you to change
>> that to 'sit', so that we can click that by sitting.
>>
>> 3. One doubt is whether any 're-scooter' is available in system?
>> I find only 're-cycle', but I own a scooter at my home.
>>
>> 4. There is 'Find' button but it is not working properly. My
>> wife lost the door key and we tried a lot trace the key with
>> this ' find' button, but was unable to trace. Please rectify
>> this problem.
>>
>> 5. My child learnt 'Microsoft word' now he wants to learn
>> 'Microsoft sentence', so when you will provide that?
>>
>> 6. I bought computer, CPU, mouse and keyboard, but there is
>> only one icon which shows 'MY Computer': when you will provide
>> the remaining items?
>>
>> 7. It is surprising that windows says 'MY Pictures' but there
>> is not even a single photo of mine. So when will you keep my
>> photo in that.
>>
>> 8. There is 'MICROSOFT OFFICE' what about 'MICROSOFT HOME'
>> since I use the PC at home only.
>>
>> 9. You provided 'My Recent Documents'. When you will provide
>> 'My Past Documents'?
>>
>> 10. You provide 'My Network Places'. For God sake please do
>> not provide 'My Secret Places'. I do not want to let my wife
>> know where I go after my office hours.
>>
>> Last one from me to Mr Bill Gates :
>> Sir, how is it that your name is Gates but u are selling
>> WINDOWS?
>>
>>
>>
>> Regards,
>>
>> Banta singh
>>
>>
>>
>
>
 
Santa : Why did the man put his radio in his refrigerator?
Bunta : I give up.

Santa : Stupid, because he wanted to hear cool music


Jasmeet : "Your honor, I want to divorce my husband Santa."
Judge : "But why ?"
Jasmeet : "Because he is not faithful to me."
Judge : "How do you know ?"
Jasmeet : "My lord, not a single child resembles him."


Jasmeet : "What do you like most in me: my pretty face or my body?"
Santa : looking at her from head to toe and replied: "I like your sense of Humor.


Bunta : I was away for a week. Yesterday I sent a fax to my wife Preeto that I'd be home tonight, and when I got into my room I found Preeto in another man's arms.
Santa : Kept silent for a few minutes, then cooly said, "Maybe, she didn't get the fax."
 
An Englishman, an Scotsman and our Banta went on a mountain-climbing expedition together. Everything was going fine until one day, while they were walking along a narrow ledge, an avalanche ripped away the ledge on each side of them.

As they stood there wondering what to do, with the freezing night closing in, there was a strange shimmering in the air and a good fairy appeared, floating in front of them. She raised her wand and declared that, as they had all been good and the expedition was sponsored for charity and so forth, she was to rescue them from their terrible plight. Each of them could wish to be transformed into any bird of their choice in order to get safely off the mountain, and would return to their normal form once they reached home.

She turned first to the Englishman and asked what he wanted to be.

"A swan," he replied, and a beautiful white swan replaced him. Stepping off the ledge, it spread its wings and flew off for England.

The fairy turned to the Scotsman, who immediately and proudly chose a golden eagle, which he became. With a magnificent swoop, he launched from the ledge and soared away, glorying in the freedom of flight as he returned home.

Banta watched the two birds disappearing into the distance from the ledge as the fairy turned to him. "And what bird do you choose?" she asked.

He thought, and mused, then said, "A penguin."
 
Santa: Mein Shimla ja raha hoon, Me meri biwi tang aa gaya ho, sochta ho jate hau raaste mein meri biwi ko khai mein dhaka de doonga.

Banta: Yaar meri bi ko bhi le ja, use bhi dhaka de dena.

Santa: Theek hai, agar tu bura na maane use vaapsi me dhaka de doon?
 
It's Christmas time and Santa and Banta decided to go look for a Christmas Tree.

They gathered their axe, a sled, and a broom to brush the trees off so they can get a good look at them. When they finally reach a fine stand of trees, Santa brushes off the first tree, and stands back with Banta to look at it.

"Well, Banta, What do you think?"

"Sorry, Santa, this tree won't do. Let's try another one".

They come upon another nice tree, Santa brushes it off, and they both look at it.

"How about this one?"

"Not quite, Santa. Let's keep looking".

This goes on until nightfall. Both Santa and Banta are cold, tired, and hungry.

"Well, Santa, what do we do now?"

"Banta, I think we should take home the next tree we find, whether it has lights on it or not..."
 
The Suicide Bomber

Banta joins the suicide bomber squad, so when he is given a mission to suicide in the enemies camp. His leader supply him a lot of weapons and bombs stacked to his body and mobile for communications.

He lands up in the enemy's camp, called his boss: Sir, there are 2 enemies soldier, can I suicide now?

Leader: No, not for two, wait till you see more soldiers.

Banta: Sir now there are 25 can I do it now?

Boss: Wait for more.

Banta: Sir, now I am in a midst of 150 soldiers, can I suicide now?

Boss: Yes, go ahead, you will be a martyr, don't worry about your family, we will look after.

Banta pulls his knife and stabs himself in his chest!
 
Sign written on Display Board of a Tutorial Center:

"ENGLISH KOCHING GIVEN HERE".
nts/Suggestions Home Advertise on FuntooshAdvertise on Funtoosh
 
Rahul gandhi: mom, aapaki wajah se meri shaadi nahi ho pa rahi..

Sonia gandhi: kyun beta?

Rahul gandhi: har taraf to likha hai ki sonia ko bahumat do!
 
Teacher asks: What is ur caste?

Student: Pehle to hum Singh the,fhir Rajput hue, phir Sharma ho gaye, abhi hai Darzi.... Aage Mummy ki marji
 
Yeh Exam ke rishte bhi ajeeb hote hai,
Sab apne apne naseeb hote hai,
Rehte hai jo nigaho se door,
Sare wahi Question compulsory hote hai
 
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